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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

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1 hour ago, Angry Gorilla said:

We have a 9 month girl and at her latest doctor's appt the doctor recommended introducing more real food.

 

Her:  I made scrambled eggs for her, but I found a list online and it said eggs are dangerous to give babies until it's determined they aren't allergic.  Should we give her some?
Me:  No, you just said it's dangerous.  
Her:  But what will she eat for breakfast?
 

In her mind, the baby who has had nothing but formula and baby food is going to throw a fit if she isn't served traditional breakfast food in the morning.

Oh my word.  You don't need to wait on an allergist to give you the green light to give your baby some eggs.  Give that little girl some eggs.  If she gets sick, she's allergic.  If she doesn't, you're good to go.  For goodness sake, people have been giving their children eggs for thousands of years.  Do we really need to do an allergy screen on every food type now before we feed our babies?!?

 

/edit/ probably could have posted this rant in the "trivial things that make you surly" thread.

Edited by nnm

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23 minutes ago, Angry Gorilla said:

She's already been eating that

I just remember that my kids all slept better at night as soon as we started feeding a little something solid.  Hell, the third kid, we just poured the Cheerios out on the floor and let her crawl around and eat them.  First kid, not so much.

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Oh my word.  You don't need to wait on an allergist to give you the green light to give your baby some eggs.  Give that little girl some eggs.  If she gets sick, she's allergic.  If she doesn't, you're good to go.  For goodness sake, people have been giving their children eggs for thousands of years.  Do we really need to do an allergy screen on every food type now before we feed our babies?!?
 
/edit/ probably could have posted this rant in the "trivial things that make you surly" thread.


Depends on if your doctor thinks they may be allergic. It’s all fun and games until your 2 year old says his mouth is hot and begins throwing up profusely after 1/2 a peanut. Trip to the ER and luckily no epi pen needed. We’ve been epi pen carriers ever since and start OIT Monday. So, maybe she / they should consult their doctor.

My apologies for the hi-jack

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That’s a lot of effort. I just occasionally raise my eyebrows inquisitively , or nod my head a little. 


Whatever works. We’re all in this together.

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My kid just gets the shits for three days when she eats eggs (or gluten or dairy). We actually lucky her allergies are not more serious.

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My kid just gets the shits for three days when she eats eggs (or gluten or dairy). We actually lucky her allergies are not more serious.

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My kid just gets the shits for three days when she eats eggs (or gluten or dairy). We actually lucky her allergies are not more serious.

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1 hour ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

Just popping in to say that my wife scheduled our Spring Break trip with the kids the week after they actually have Spring Break. I take full responsibility for trusting her crazy ass and not looking the dates up myself, but it's all about the nonrefundable hotel reservations.

Long live the king. 

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Rental car, getting out of a tight parallel space. Apparently when you get reeeeaaaall close to something when backing, in addition to the audible tone this jeep adds a tactile vibration that has its own sound. It goes off as I’m inching towards the car behind me and my wife screams Oh Jesus! at the sound. Really helpful when I’m 2” away from another car. 
 

so I almost whisper please calm down 

you’re yelling at me and I don’t appreciate it!

Edited by Pato del Muerto

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1 hour ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

Just popping in to say that my wife scheduled our Spring Break trip with the kids the week after they actually have Spring Break. I take full responsibility for trusting her crazy ass and not looking the dates up myself, but it's all about the nonrefundable hotel reservations.

Thanks for popping in to let us know our minor issues pale in comparison to what you are dealing with.

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2 hours ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

Just popping in to say that my wife scheduled our Spring Break trip with the kids the week after they actually have Spring Break. I take full responsibility for trusting her crazy ass and not looking the dates up myself, but it's all about the nonrefundable hotel reservations.

Call customer service as many times it takes until you get a married man.  Explain crazy wife.  Switch dates.  Profit.

Seriously, non-refundable doesn't always mean un-rescheduleable.  Give it a shot.

And be sure to relentlessly shame the mrs and extract "payment" for saving the day.

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Oh my word.  You don't need to wait on an allergist to give you the green light to give your baby some eggs.  Give that little girl some eggs.  If she gets sick, she's allergic.  If she doesn't, you're good to go.  For goodness sake, people have been giving their children eggs for thousands of years.  Do we really need to do an allergy screen on every food type now before we feed our babies?!?
 
/edit/ probably could have posted this rant in the "trivial things that make you surly" thread.

Or take 1.75 seconds and just look under the ingredients on the package and foods will list if eggs are an ingredient.

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On 2/11/2020 at 8:39 PM, tbone_ said:

If you have a glass shower door you have to squeegee. Shit gets gross if you don’t.

my ex wife was a shitty housekeeper, but...

Our shower had obscure glass, not clear.  Ex used to wipe the inside of the glass down with furniture oil.  Water ran right off, and it always looked clean from the outside. 

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8 hours ago, TrashMaster G said:

Call customer service as many times it takes until you get a married man.  Explain crazy wife.  Switch dates.  Profit.

Seriously, non-refundable doesn't always mean un-rescheduleable.  Give it a shot.

And be sure to relentlessly shame the mrs and extract "payment" for saving the day.

We were bouncing around to three different locations. The airbnb chick was extremely cool and is refunding me everything even though she could take half. One of the hotels has a 7 day cancelation policy so I got all of that one back. I haven't heard back from the third one yet - they could ding me for half so the most I'm going to be out is around $350. 

I feel like I dodged a bit of a bullet but now I get to plan a new spring break with a solid three week head start on it. I hear Seguin is lovely this time of year. 

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The only other little ray of sunshine on this deal is that my wife complains that whenever she tells me something, I typically look it up online to make sure she isn't completely wrong. I mean, even the simplest shit like the weather forecast. She invariably gets mad at me and says shit like, "What? Don't you believe me. Why are you doubting me? Why can't you just trust what I'm saying? " Now I get to gleefully remind her of this golden fuck up every single gotdam time she gets on my ass about rechecking whatever bullshit fact that she thinks she knows. So I have that going for me. Which is nice. 
Hopefully Typhoid Mary still thinks you're booked for the week after Spring Break and keeps her reservations for that surprise co-vacation she had planned with y'all.

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29 minutes ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

We were bouncing around to three different locations. The airbnb chick was extremely cool and is refunding me everything even though she could take half. One of the hotels has a 7 day cancelation policy so I got all of that one back. I haven't heard back from the third one yet - they could ding me for half so the most I'm going to be out is around $350. 

I feel like I dodged a bit of a bullet but now I get to plan a new spring break with a solid three week head start on it. I hear Seguin is lovely this time of year. 

Sandpoint, ID. You're welcome.

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47 minutes ago, Gil Bang said:

my ex wife was a shitty housekeeper, but...

Our shower had obscure glass, not clear.  Ex used to wipe the inside of the glass down with furniture oil.  Water ran right off, and it always looked clean from the outside. 

This made me look it up, but rain-x does make a product specifically for your shower doors.

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6 minutes ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

This made me look it up, but rain-x does make a product specifically for your shower doors.

Wow that is extremely specific. 

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9 hours ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

The amazon reviews don't look too promising though.

Quote

This stuff is like a vaporous chemical bomb when you apply it, I swear I am going to have a 6th toe appear any day now after my use of just half a bottle.

 

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8 hours ago, NWBuck said:

 

 

You're not applying it correctly.... 

DefinitiveSpottedAmericantoad-size_restr

My avatar approves this message. Lucille is her name. 
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This made me look it up, but rain-x does make a product specifically for your shower doors.
Water is water. Just use regular Rain X.

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Driving to an aquarium (dolphin tale one) in Clearwater. Come up on Gulf To Bay Rd. I say hey I bet this road runs from the gulf to the bay. We are heading north. We are on the west coast of Florida.  

She says “so the bay is on the left and the gulf is on the right, right?

me:  no hon, we’re going north. 

Her:i think I’m right. 

Me:  you probably are, dear. 

 

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On 2/13/2020 at 12:21 PM, Mitch Cumsteen said:

Just popping in to say that my wife scheduled our Spring Break trip with the kids the week after they actually have Spring Break. I take full responsibility for trusting her crazy ass and not looking the dates up myself, but it's all about the nonrefundable hotel reservations.

Odds that one of your kids purposefully told her the wrong week knowing that she wouldn't check?  100%.  

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21 hours ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

We were bouncing around to three different locations. The airbnb chick was extremely cool and is refunding me everything even though she could take half. One of the hotels has a 7 day cancelation policy so I got all of that one back. I haven't heard back from the third one yet - they could ding me for half so the most I'm going to be out is around $350. 

I feel like I dodged a bit of a bullet but now I get to plan a new spring break with a solid three week head start on it. I hear Seguin is lovely this time of year. 

It is, but the HEB ain’t open. 

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On 2/13/2020 at 12:21 PM, Mitch Cumsteen said:

Just popping in to say that my wife scheduled our Spring Break trip with the kids the week after they actually have Spring Break. I take full responsibility for trusting her crazy ass and not looking the dates up myself, but it's all about the nonrefundable hotel reservations.

@Mitch Cumsteen showing up on this thread.

 

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On 2/12/2020 at 3:23 PM, Angry Gorilla said:

We have a 9 month girl and at her latest doctor's appt the doctor recommended introducing more real food.

 

Her:  I made scrambled eggs for her, but I found a list online and it said eggs are dangerous to give babies until it's determined they aren't allergic.  Should we give her some?
Me:  No, you just said it's dangerous.  
Her:  But what will she eat for breakfast?
 

In her mind, the baby who has had nothing but formula and baby food is going to throw a fit if she isn't served traditional breakfast food in the morning.

image.png.fe9ee8fd79481fc657fff75e9cab7781.png

 

Edited by VolenteHawk

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[mention=715]Mitch Cumsteen[/mention] showing up on this thread.
 

I did not know this story, or even about Rucker Park. That’s bad ass.

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Does anyone else’s wife buy the cheapest, most useless band aids? My kids just come to me for one out of my stash now.....

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My three year old thinks band aids are some combination of stickers and miracle chinese medicine. So getting the cheapest ones possible just makes good sense.
Yep. Every imaginary booboo needs a bandaid - even on her dolls.

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