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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do


Spur08

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13 minutes ago, 956 Worldwide said:

Today I got this big ass Amazon package and I didn’t know what it was. I asked the wife and she tells me “yeah, that’s my package so I can organize a garage sale.”

You bought shit and took it into the house so we can have a garage sale?

 

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I bet she spent more money on that than she will make in the the garage sale.  Assuming she actually has a garage sale.

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12 minutes ago, txhorns said:

I bet she spent more money on that than she will make in the the garage sale.  Assuming she actually has a garage sale.

It’ll be on a Saturday, and he’ll be expected to help get shit ready for it. He will not be expected to sit on the couch and watch college football. 

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Just now, Kennythetiger said:

It’ll be on a Saturday, and he’ll be expected to help get shit ready for it. He will not be expected to sit on the couch and watch college football. 

He'll be expected to run the garage sale because she "forgot" that she scheduled a spa day on that same day where she will be gone for 6 hours.

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It’ll be on a Saturday, and he’ll be expected to help get shit ready for it. He will not be expected to sit on the couch and watch college football. 

That’s on him. I had a prohibition against my participation in garage sales for my 19 years of marriage. It was a known.

Of course I am divorced now so maybe not the best example. But I still don’t do fucking garage sales.
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30 minutes ago, txhorns said:

He'll be expected to run the garage sale because she "forgot" that she scheduled a spa day on that same day where she will be gone for 6 hours.

If it's my wife she'll decide she needs some posterboard and scotch tape for a sign and head to Dollar General. She will return several hours later. 

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46 minutes ago, txhorns said:

He'll be expected to run the garage sale because she "forgot" that she scheduled a spa day on that same day where she will be gone for 6 hours.

& When she returns, she will be pissed because he sold stuffed animals for fifty cents each instead of $ 15.00 each, chipped & soiled furniture for less than $ 10 & baby clothes for $ 1.00 per t-shirt.

On the bright side, most of the shit he wanted to keep got walked back into the house where it belongs.

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Last garage sale we had we did it on a day she was working. The sale went so well I started pulling shit out of the house while she was at work and selling it. She still brings it up from time to time about she would never have another garage sell with me. Problem solved.

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32 minutes ago, EE2B said:

Last garage sale we had we did it on a day she was working. The sale went so well I started pulling shit out of the house while she was at work and selling it. She still brings it up from time to time about she would never have another garage sell with me. Problem solved.

 

10 hours ago, burns_312 said:


This is the answer. My wife wanted to have a garage sale right before we moved into our new house. I told her no problem, get everything you want as part of the sale to the garage and I’ll handle it from there. She went to an appt the Thursday night before the garage sale, I borrowed a dump trailer from a friend, piled all the shit into it, left $500 on the kitchen counter with her name on it and went to the bar. True story.


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This is the answer. My wife wanted to have a garage sale right before we moved into our new house. I told her no problem, get everything you want as part of the sale to the garage and I’ll handle it from there. She went to an appt the Thursday night before the garage sale, I borrowed a dump trailer from a friend, piled all the shit into it, left $500 on the kitchen counter with her name on it and went to the bar. True story.


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My experience was if you let the wife do her thing, people will actually show up and pay you some amount of money to take some of your trash off your hands before you take the rest to the dump. Mind bottling I know.
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4 hours ago, tbone_ said:


My experience was if you let the wife do her thing, people will actually show up and pay you some amount of money to take some of your trash off your hands before you take the rest to the dump. Mind bottling I know.

Not mine.  She has an insane idea of what this shit is valued.  Like, "Hey, I paid $ 30 for this 8 years ago & it is in GREAT shape - I should be able to get at least $ 25 for it."  Never mind that an equal whatever can be found @ Goodwill for $ 7.50.

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On 9/27/2021 at 11:48 AM, tbone_ said:


That’s on him. I had a prohibition against my participation in garage sales for my 19 years of marriage. It was a known.

Of course I am divorced now so maybe not the best example. But I still don’t do fucking garage sales.

Thank god I've mostly convinced the women in my family the tax write off for donating is worth more. I did pay the college daughter(no pix!) $100 to not have one and donate the stuff.

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We made mac n cheese for dinner and I hear the garbage disposal run while she was cleaning up. I asked her if she put the noodles in the disposal and she answered yes like I was a dumb ass. I told her you aren’t supposed to do that and she asked who said and I responded with non retards across America. 

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23 minutes ago, Clintonaldo said:

We made mac n cheese for dinner and I hear the garbage disposal run while she was cleaning up. I asked her if she put the noodles in the disposal and she answered yes like I was a dumb ass. I told her you aren’t supposed to do that and she asked who said and I responded with non retards across America. 

GE fucked husbands when they named their version a Disposall. Should have just named it a throw-every-bit-of-fucking-trash-down-the-sink-all.

 

Actually maybe naming it Disposall was their plan to ensure replacement unit sales.

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Not my wife, but mother in charge of bringing snacks and drinks today for 6th grade girls vball team showed up with lunch bags filled with gummy bears, chips, snack bars, caramel packs and a couple other items I forget.  Brought a 54 quart cooler filled near to the brim with ice for 20 ten ounce gatorade bottles and an hour long game, lol.  She had to lug that stuff across a large parking lot and up a flight of stairs to get to the court.

This was only game 2.  We'll see if the other mothers took note and step up to the challenge.

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Not my wife, but mother in charge of bringing snacks and drinks today for 6th grade girls vball team showed up with lunch bags filled with gummy bears, chips, snack bars, caramel packs and a couple other items I forget.  Brought a 54 quart cooler filled near to the brim with ice for 20 ten ounce gatorade bottles and an hour long game, lol.  She had to lug that stuff across a large parking lot and up a flight of stairs to get to the court.
This was only game 2.  We'll see if the other mothers took note and step up to the challenge.

Awesome. From what I’ve gathered in my experience just this week alone from a local high school team we transport is volleyball moms are on an entirely different level of over the top.

2 trips so far this week, clean up has been smoothies from tropical smoothie cafe (I assume there’s a half sandwich) and a bunch of blaze pizza boxes. Not as crazy as the mom in your scenario…but ain’t nobody got time to order 3 or 4 for pizzas from some national chain that’ll cost under $50 these days
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6 hours ago, Wade said:

Not my wife, but mother in charge of bringing snacks and drinks today for 6th grade girls vball team showed up with lunch bags filled with gummy bears, chips, snack bars, caramel packs and a couple other items I forget.  Brought a 54 quart cooler filled near to the brim with ice for 20 ten ounce gatorade bottles and an hour long game, lol.  She had to lug that stuff across a large parking lot and up a flight of stairs to get to the court.

This was only game 2.  We'll see if the other mothers took note and step up to the challenge.

lol I would've said your daughter must be on my daughter's team except we had Body Armor to drink and no stairs at our gym. 

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7 hours ago, Wade said:

Not my wife, but mother in charge of bringing snacks and drinks today for 6th grade girls vball team showed up with lunch bags filled with gummy bears, chips, snack bars, caramel packs and a couple other items I forget.  Brought a 54 quart cooler filled near to the brim with ice for 20 ten ounce gatorade bottles and an hour long game, lol.  She had to lug that stuff across a large parking lot and up a flight of stairs to get to the court.

This was only game 2.  We'll see if the other mothers took note and step up to the challenge.

This ranks up there with providing party gifts to kids that attend your kids’ birthday party.

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3 hours ago, mininghorn88 said:

This ranks up there with providing party gifts to kids that attend your kids’ birthday party.

Old guy rant:  When I was a kid, the "gift" you got was being invited to the fucking party.  "Gift bags"?  Fuck that shit. /Old guy rant.

Narrator:  "& In spite of that rant, YES, his wife DID give out gift bags for all the parties held for his children."

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7 minutes ago, ROFL BOX said:

Old guy rant:  When I was a kid, the "gift" you got was being invited to the fucking party.  "Gift bags"?  Fuck that shit. /Old guy rant.

Narrator:  "& In spite of that rant, YES, his wife DID give out gift bags for all the parties held for his children."

None of them want to be that  mom that gives out the cheapest gift bag. 

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17 minutes ago, Dennis Taylor said:

None of them want to be that  mom that gives out the cheapest gift bag. 

How about NO gift bag.  What about that notion?  Fuck that stupidity.

My wife went & bought a home cotton candy maker thing for Roxxette's birthday - think it was 10 years old (she's 16 now... fuck off on pics, pervs).
Guess what?  We still have it, wife won't sell it, the fucking thing just eats up real estate in the pantry.

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On 9/28/2021 at 8:23 AM, EE2B said:

Last garage sale we had we did it on a day she was working. The sale went so well I started pulling shit out of the house while she was at work and selling it. She still brings it up from time to time about she would never have another garage sell with me. Problem solved.

We had one about 6 years ago.  Getting rid of a bunch of baby stuff and different types of furniture.  Had some decent stuff.  Most of the big stuff was gone by 9 am.  Maybe $1k total.  My handyman Mexican dude brought his family over and wanted a bunch of clothes.  I told him he could have it all and everything else remaining provided he took it all.  He was happy to do so.  Back to normal saturday by 10 am.

This was easier than schlepping it all to goodwill and we made some cash.

Doubt I ever do it again though.  I have lots of younger nieces and nephews.  They get all our kids stuff when they grow or age out of it.  Nice little slow removal of clutter every 6 months or so.  I don't like a bunch of shit in my house unless it's stuff we use.

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5 hours ago, mininghorn88 said:

This ranks up there with providing party gifts to kids that attend your kids’ birthday party.

When my daughter was little, one of her friends gave out live goldfish for the party gift.  We of course had to immediately go out and buy a tank and a filter for this thing.  It lived something like 8 years.  All the other kids' fish died within a week.  

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Just now, Beau Vine said:

When my daughter was little, one of her friends gave out live goldfish for the party gift.  We of course had to immediately go out and buy a tank and a filter for this thing.  It lived something like 8 years.  All the other kids' fish died within a week.  

One time a few years ago my sister really pissed me off.  She was on all kinds of shit trying to get pregnant again, but I told her if she didn’t get the attitude in check her kid was getting a pony for her birthday.  

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2 minutes ago, Beau Vine said:

When my daughter was little, one of her friends gave out live goldfish for the party gift.  We of course had to immediately go out and buy a tank and a filter for this thing.  It lived something like 8 years.  All the other kids' fish died within a week.  

If you want to get back at them, a turtle or two make a fine gift

 

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