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High Plains Drifter

My road rage incident cool story bro

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I'm driving to work. I'm stopped at a stop sign to turn left onto a two-lane, one-way road. Two bro's in a new Dodge Charger small dick mobile are across from me, with their turn signal on, indicating they will be turning right onto the same two-lane road. One lane for them to turn into, one lane for me to turn into, no problem.

Both lanes are clear at the same time, we both start to go. However, despite their signal, they go straight, at the same time I'm turning in front of them. We both stop, collision avoided, no big deal. I wave and start to drive off since I'm blocking them but they aren't blocking me. Bro in passenger seat gets out of car, screaming at me to "STOP!!" and stands in front of me so I can't go. I start to go around him, and he goes full Hulk smash road rage on my hood. At this point we are blocking both lanes of the two way. Driver gets out, comes over and sticks his head through the open window of my passenger door and starts yelling some shit at me, reaching through the window like he's going to grab me or something.

If I were a hothead who carried a gun, that mother fucker would have been deader than fried chicken at this point. However...

what both these idiots don't realize is that waiting behind them is a sheriff's deputy. He blares his siren and through the loudspeaker and yells "Get back in your car and pull over!".  He gets out, gun drawn. They get back in, and pull over; I pull over also. Over the loudspeaker, deputy tells us to remain in our vehicles.  After a few minutes when DPS back up arrives, both of those wastes of resources are cuffed and stuffed.

Turns out, I personally know the DPS trooper who takes my info-- he's a neighbor who I occasionally see and talk to walking the dogs. .He says "You are free to go Mr. Drifter. I'll be in contact." As I'm driving off, I see their car getting tossed.

Just thought I'd share

Edited by High Plains Drifter
typo

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I can always judge my spiritual health by the way I behave in traffic.  Those dudes were not spiritual.

I especially practice patience and tolerance with several types of drivers - the young bucks possibly on steroids who seem to love chargers, and guys who drive dodge trucks - particularly older model diesels - they seem to have an aversion to being polite.  Also people who drive the low end compact cars, who are typically young, female, and on their phone while driving.

People behave the way they're equipped to behave.

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12 minutes ago, BearSchlong said:

People behave the way they're equipped to behave.

Yep, OP covered that part.

"Dodge Charger small dick mobile"

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1 hour ago, High Plains Drifter said:

Turns out, I personally know the DPS trooper who takes my info-- he's a neighbor who I occasionally see and talk to walking the dogs. .He says "You are free to go Mr. Drifter. I'll be in contact."

I would be a little concerned if law enforcement knew my Surly screen name

but then again maybe he just means he's going to pos rep you

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1 hour ago, Westtexashorn said:

 

What do you drive?

HPD drives a massive, jaw-breaker cock Chrysler LeBaron convertible, of course. 

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This is a great story.  Ask your DPS friend why those assholes got cuffed (if it was more than just trying to bash your hood in) and what they found in their car.

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1 hour ago, MissingInAction said:

Why I always wave people on at stop signs. Remove all doubt, and let the insecure micro penii get away from my giant porn dong delivery device ASAP. 

Same here.  People think I'm being nice, but I'm just signalling them to go ahead so there's no confrontation.

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1 minute ago, South Austin said:

This is a great story.  Ask your DPS friend why those assholes got cuffed (if it was more than just trying to bash your hood in) and what they found in their car.

Your mom.

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I don't know the first thing about how to do that.

Also, small town in rural county. I"m not sure they are available.

Also also, I don't know for a fact they got booked. They may have been released without being taken in.

 

 

If I don't hear anything within a week or so about charges against these guys, I'll call the county attorney next week to see what's up.

Bonus lol: My attorney wife is pretty good friends with the county attorney. I've talked to him a handful of times at social gatherings involving local attorneys. We are on a first name basis when we happen to randomly run into each other around town. Also, his son is an undergrad (engineering I think) at UT.

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I get raggedy at assholes that don't take their turn when it's time at the 4-way.

 

edit: I meant ragey but raggedy kind of works too.

Edited by Ten Bears

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21 hours ago, deadshank said:

HPD drives a massive, jaw-breaker cock Chrysler LeBaron convertible, of course. 

yea but it used to belong to John Voit

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17 hours ago, Jersey Man10 said:
On December 12, 2019 at 12:27 PM, Westtexashorn said:
 
What do you drive?

Found the Dodge owner.

Nah that's me. Ram 3500 deleted and tuned. Rollin' Coal, Brah. I know small dick, yada yada. Wife says it's short but the girlfriend tells me it's thick.  Go figure.

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On December 12, 2019 at 3:36 PM, MissingInAction said:

Why I always wave people on at stop signs. Remove all doubt, and let the insecure micro penii get away from my giant porn dong delivery device ASAP. 

 

On December 12, 2019 at 4:44 PM, Bullneck said:

Same here.  People think I'm being nice, but I'm just signalling them to go ahead so there's no confrontation.

May the two of you meet at an intersection. 

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Ha. Last week as as was heading to work down Lamar, a Charger takes a right turn off a side street right in front of me, causing me to brake hard, then moves into the left lane. He immediately moves back into the right lane to cut me off. A gave a short honk and his passenger hangs out the window and flips me off. Two cars behind him was a trooper who just pulled out of the DPS parking lot and he lights him up. I laughed the rest of the way downtown. 

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On 12/12/2019 at 2:36 PM, MissingInAction said:

Why I always wave people on at stop signs. Remove all doubt, and let the insecure micro penii get away from my giant porn dong delivery device ASAP. 

 

On 12/12/2019 at 3:44 PM, Bullneck said:

Same here.  People think I'm being nice, but I'm just signalling them to go ahead so there's no confrontation.

You two are just a notch below the guys in the op. That drives me crazy.

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8 hours ago, Deej said:

Ha. Last week as as was heading to work down Lamar, a Charger takes a right turn off a side street right in front of me, causing me to brake hard, then moves into the left lane. He immediately moves back into the right lane to cut me off. A gave a short honk and his passenger hangs out the window and flips me off. Two cars behind him was a trooper who just pulled out of the DPS parking lot and he lights him up. I laughed the rest of the way downtown. 

If not for that cop, you were going to get out and handle that shit right?

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1 hour ago, immortal13 said:

If not for that cop, you were going to get out and handle that shit right?

Hell no.

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Ha. Last week as as was heading to work down Lamar, a Charger takes a right turn off a side street right in front of me, causing me to brake hard, then moves into the left lane. He immediately moves back into the right lane to cut me off. A gave a short honk and his passenger hangs out the window and flips me off. Two cars behind him was a trooper who just pulled out of the DPS parking lot and he lights him up. I laughed the rest of the way downtown. 
I've been driving 40-50k a year for the last 20 years and I have never received this kind of luck that I can recall.

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On 12/13/2019 at 9:28 AM, bernorange said:

That totally sounded like a set up for a car jacking.  Lucky you it was just two assholes with road rage.

Yep, Sounds likes OP better start packing cuz his friend won't be there next time

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17 hours ago, Deej said:

Ha. Last week as as was heading to work down Lamar, a Charger takes a right turn off a side street right in front of me, causing me to brake hard, then moves into the left lane. He immediately moves back into the right lane to cut me off. A gave a short honk and his passenger hangs out the window and flips me off. Two cars behind him was a trooper who just pulled out of the DPS parking lot and he lights him up. I laughed the rest of the way downtown. 

I thought everybody here hated cops?

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8 hours ago, Armybrat said:

I thought everybody here hated cops?

just the small few that are dirty, and the many that look the other way when the small few do their dirty shit.

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I've been driving 40-50k a year for the last 20 years and I have never received this kind of luck that I can recall.

Ditto.

A day dream I have pretty much every time I see an asshole on the road. One day it’ll be my time!!

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14 hours ago, Horn_Spanker said:

It's true, people who drive Chrysler products are deviants.  I stress to my heirs, if you ever smoke tobacco or drive a Chrysler product, you're out of the will.

Seriously. And now they’re owned by Fiat AND Peugeot. Idiot thinks he’s driving ‘Murica muscle car. No, you’re driving a French-Italian bastard vehicle that will predictably be in the shop before your next tax bill. 

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Well hell, my Civic was built in Canada, and Mrs. Brat’s Accord was assembled in Kentucky with 70% US made parts.

isn’t Rolls-Royce owned by the Germans?

Go figure.

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