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Beau Vine

Eat a dick, Bret Bielema, you fat fucking retard

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On 7/14/2018 at 9:28 PM, CBHorn said:

Eff that.  Can't make money at buffets with Bert consuming 8000+ calories in a sitting.

Chinese-buffet-sign.png

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The Pats owner asked Belichick to abandon the cut off sweatshirt looking and to sport something slimming on the sideline. So he hired Bert and looks positively svelte next to him by comparison. 

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Apparently Bert went back home for the weekend:

Quote

Meteorites, methane and the devil have been ruled out as the cause of a flaming hole in the ground at Midway.

Mickey Pendergrass, the county judge in Baxter County, said officials are still investigating the mysterious Midway hole that flared into a spectacular 12-foot flame early on the morning of Sept. 17, then burned at about 8 feet high for more than 40 minutes.

 

"As far as the spiritual Satan goes, we've ruled that out," Pendergrass said. "He didn't come up and stick his pitchfork in the ground and blow that hole out."

Pendergrass said he had suspected methane, but investigators have found no source of it, such as decaying organic matter.

Pendergrass said the hole had been there for at least 10 years, according to a man who used to mow the grass on the private property along Arkansas 5. So it wasn't caused by the recent impact of a meteorite.

"It's kind of like an old groundhog hole, burrow, or armadillo's," he said. "But it's been there a long time."

The hole, he said, is about the size of a volleyball.

Jim Sierzchula, the Baxter County emergency management director, and geologists from the Arkansas Geological Survey investigated Sept. 21.

"They scoped the hole with a camera and determined it extended horizontal before intercepting a nearby drainage ditch about 10 feet away and 3 feet below the ground surface," according to a report from Ty Johnson and Danny Rains with the Geological Survey. "This was determined to be an animal hole."

Black Hills Energy also participated in the investigation.

"Although Black Hills Energy does not provide natural gas service in Midway, the local fire department contacted us to assist with their fire investigation," according to a statement from the company. "Our technicians responded and detected no natural gas in the area."

Pendergrass said there are no utility or fuel lines in the area that might have been leaking.

The Arkansas Department of Environmental Quality checked four underground fuel storage tanks in the area, two that are in use at Midway Citgo and Deli, and two that are capped and basically empty at Gearhead Garage.

"Based on ADEQ inspections it does not appear that any of these tanks contributed to the fire," according to a statement from the agency. "We can't speculate about other possible causes because we have not been trained to do investigations about such scenarios."

Donald Tucker, chief of the Midway Fire Protection District, said the Arkansas Department of Environmental Quality also tested three above-ground gasoline tanks and two propane tanks, and determined that none of them were leaking.

 

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Didn't he kick the ever loving shit out of Texas in Houston at a bowl game a few years back ?   His wife is way hot. Not many on this site could ever get in the rack.

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7 minutes ago, mulletpelini said:

I don't think you grasp the spirit of this thread.

It's fun to remind everyone that Texas was so bad they let that fucktard beat you so bad it still hurts.  He is the worst coach ever and still won. 

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Nobody is debating that he won. He won at Wisconsin too. He won as an assistant coach before becoming a head coach. He won as a player back in the eighties. The guy wins.

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7 hours ago, trza-hawk said:

Nobody is debating that he won. He won at Wisconsin too. He won as an assistant coach before becoming a head coach. He won as a player back in the eighties. The guy wins.

Bret might be a good fit for Kansas, there has to still be some old pants left from Mangino...

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7 hours ago, jocah4 said:

It's fun to remind everyone that Texas was so bad they let that fucktard beat you so bad it still hurts.  He is the worst coach ever and still won. 

cortland-finnegan-26-nfl-20160108020807.

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You know I in looking at the current situation at Rutgers, I would think Brent would be a good fit there as well, & he's just close enough to get Philly cheese steak sandwiches after a loss...

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11 hours ago, jocah4 said:

It's fun to remind everyone that Texas was so bad they let that fucktard beat you so bad it still hurts.  He is the worst coach ever and still won. 

Yet, Bert is still fat as shit, and Arkansas sucks dick. You lost to aggy.

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In my book "Ron Prince, the Prince, a Ron Prince Story" by Ron Prince I will tell all about the time I ran into Bielema at a Golden Corral and ate that fat fuck under the table in an eating contest. Good times.
Oooh long pig eating!

Kinky!

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Didn't he kick the ever loving shit out of Texas in Houston at a bowl game a few years back ?   His wife is way hot. Not many on this site could ever get in the rack.


Not many on this site could ever get in the rack.?

What does that even mean?

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Not many on this site could ever get in the rack.?

What does that even mean?


MrPhlegm is calling someone out for not making sense. What has the world come to?

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Didn't he kick the ever loving shit out of Texas in Houston at a bowl game a few years back ?   His wife is way hot. Not many on this site could ever get in the rack.
First of all, I could fuck her and your mom at the same time if I wanted to but a threesome with a woman who is willing to fuck Bielema and a brain dead water buffalo doesn't appeal to me.

But more to your point, it's true that Bielema beat the worst coach in the history of Texas football and he and the fanbase celebrated like they'd accomplished something. That's why your program is a flaming pile of shit and will never win anything of consequence. So congrats I guess.

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http://footballscoop.com/news/bret-bielema-may-verge-landing-major-nfl-job/

When Bret Bielema resurfaced with the New England Patriots last spring, most assumed it was just a way for him to bide his time in between college jobs. He’d been fired as the head coach at Arkansas the previous November and laid low — the Bielemas had recently had a daughter — before hopping aboard Bill Belichick’s staff to assist with pre-draft scouting at the 2018 combine.

And then the draft came and went, and Bielema was still hanging around. Over the summer they gave him a title, “Consultant to the Head Coach.”

Throughout the playoffs he’d been spotted walking into the stadium in his suit and tie with his trademark headphones wrapped around his head, a weekly reminder of, “Oh yeah, I forgot he was with them.”

But now Bielema may remain on in New England on a permanent basis. According to Ben Volin of the Boston Globe, Bielema has been telling those around him he expects to be named the Patriots’ defensive coordinator after the Super Bowl.

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Nobody is debating that he won. He won at Wisconsin too. He won as an assistant coach before becoming a head coach. He won as a player back in the eighties. The guy wins.


Except at Arkansas. That was his worst stop. I think that says something.

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3 hours ago, Parliament said:

http://footballscoop.com/news/bret-bielema-may-verge-landing-major-nfl-job/

When Bret Bielema resurfaced with the New England Patriots last spring, most assumed it was just a way for him to bide his time in between college jobs. He’d been fired as the head coach at Arkansas the previous November and laid low — the Bielemas had recently had a daughter — before hopping aboard Bill Belichick’s staff to assist with pre-draft scouting at the 2018 combine.

And then the draft came and went, and Bielema was still hanging around. Over the summer they gave him a title, “Consultant to the Head Coach.”

Throughout the playoffs he’d been spotted walking into the stadium in his suit and tie with his trademark headphones wrapped around his head, a weekly reminder of, “Oh yeah, I forgot he was with them.”

But now Bielema may remain on in New England on a permanent basis. According to Ben Volin of the Boston Globe, Bielema has been telling those around him he expects to be named the Patriots’ defensive coordinator after the Super Bowl.

I get the feeling he called up BB and asked if he could hang around for a weekend to try and learn a few things then just kept showing up and BB didn't feel like saying anything to him so long as he just hung out in the back of the meeting room eating doughnuts. I think they gave him the consultant title more out of pity than anything else.

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12 minutes ago, Surlybastard said:

I get the feeling he called up BB and asked if he could hang around for a weekend to try and learn a few things then just kept showing up and BB didn't feel like saying anything to him so long as he just hung out in the back of the meeting room eating doughnuts. I think they gave him the consultant title more out of pity than anything else.

So basically he was Milton from Office Space...

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Didn't think it was possible to dislike the Patriots more than I do.  Why don't they just hire Lane Kiffin, Bobby Petrino and Art Briles and get it over with.

Oh and Bob Bag of Dicks Stoops.

Edited by Scholz

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1 hour ago, HenryJames said:

This is the greatest thread title. 

It has been the reigning champ of thread titles for years.

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Didn't think it was possible to dislike the Patriots more than I do.  Why don't they just hire Lane Kiffin, Bobby Petrino and Art Briles and get it over with.
Oh and Bob Bag of Dicks Stoops.

If Bellicheat thought it would help him win, he’d hire them, public opinion be damned.

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39 minutes ago, Sbbruin said:

It has been the reigning champ of thread titles for years.

The title is rude, disrespectful, insensitive, and condescending to fat people and retarded people.

It's perfect.

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6 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I always read his name as Bulimia

I can't tell if it's Biele-ma, or Biel-e-ma.  I've got a source in the northwest Iowa asshole Dutchmen community.  I'll find out and report back.

Regardless, fat fucking retard works.

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1 hour ago, Scholz said:

Didn't think it was possible to dislike the Patriots more than I do.  Why don't they just hire Lane Kiffin, Bobby Petrino and Art Briles and get it over with.

Oh and Bob Bag of Dicks Stoops.

You forgot:

tulane-v-ohio-state-5bf96acf6b6cd23a0c00

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43 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I always read his name as Bulimia

Ha ha! If this were the case Brett’s  “username” def would NOT check out.

FFR is so fitting. What a douche. F that guy.

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On 3/26/2018 at 9:30 AM, Jester said:

Serious Rhetoric question.  Has there ever been a more punch-able face?

maxresdefault.jpg

 

Patriots suspend Michael Bennett for detrimental conduct

3:40 PM CT   Mike Reiss.   ESPN Staff Writer

New England Patriots defensive end Michael Bennett, who wasn't present at Tuesday's practice, has been suspended for conduct detrimental to the team, according to league sources.  The suspension is a result of a disagreement between Bennett and defensive line coach Bret Bielema last Friday that was witnessed by some players, according to a source. "On Friday, I had a philosophical disagreement with my position coach that has led to my suspension," Bennett told ESPN. "I apologize to my teammates for any distraction this may have caused."

Bennett's suspension was listed on the NFL's transactions wire.  

Having primarily been a 4-3 defensive end over his career, Bennett has mostly been a situational pass-rusher with the Patriots. Part of that has been due to the emergence of linebacker Jamie Collins and nose tackle Danny Shelton, who are having career years as the defense has switched to more of a 3-4 scheme in base situations.

https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/27853147/patriots-suspend-michael-bennett-detrimental-conduct

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Fuck Michael Bennett.  He's a fucking unbridled piece-of-shit garbage.    Lies about the shit in Vegas.  Beats up an an elderly paraplegic worker at the Super Bowl in Houston.  Who knows what else.   Dude's a scum and deserves nothing more than any pile of crap heaped upon him.  

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30 minutes ago, Wally Pryor said:

Fuck Michael Bennett.  He's a fucking unbridled piece-of-shit garbage.    Lies about the shit in Vegas.  Beats up an an elderly paraplegic worker at the Super Bowl in Houston.  Who knows what else.   Dude's a scum and deserves nothing more than any pile of crap heaped upon him.  

He's an aggy right?  That doesn't sound like the way an aggy would act, based upon the fairy tales I read on texags.

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2 hours ago, Wally Pryor said:

Fuck Michael Bennett.  He's a fucking unbridled piece-of-shit garbage.    Lies about the shit in Vegas.  Beats up an an elderly paraplegic worker at the Super Bowl in Houston.  Who knows what else.   Dude's a scum and deserves nothing more than any pile of crap heaped upon him.  

so bert coming at him off the top rope?

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1 hour ago, dingleberryswitzer said:

He's an aggy right?  That doesn't sound like the way an aggy would act, based upon the fairy tales I read on texags.

Isn’t he the turd aggy with the late hits on Colt that led to the Cart McCry shit on texaggy?

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On 10/3/2018 at 12:12 AM, jocah4 said:

It's fun to remind everyone that Texas was so bad they let that fucktard beat you so bad it still hurts.  He is the worst coach ever and still won. 

Which one of our teams is on the way up, and which will remain in mediocrity until FCS comes calling?

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The Razorback Foundation believes that Bret Bielema failed to meet the requirements for his buyout.

They have asked the $4.2 million paid him be repaid to the Foundation.

 
Bielema wants to keep that money and receive the remaining $7.6 million while working as a defensive line coach for the New England Patriots for $150,000, far below the market value of an assistant in the NFL.

That is the maximum he’s allowed to make (it was previously reported as $50,000) without it coming out of his monthly check of $320,833.33 that was being paid until this year.

Late last year Scott Varady, president of the Razorback Foundation and an attorney himself (and a Little Rock Catholic High graduate), decided the agreement with Bielema had been breached.

In January, Bielema received an email from Ney, of the Friday firm, informing the former Arkansas coach he had breached the agreement in which he was required to:

• Diligently seek and obtain other employment of the same or similar nature;

• Provide a written summary to the Razorback Foundation of his efforts to find other employment twice a year;

• Notify the Foundation in writing of other employment obtained and income received; and

• Use his best efforts to maximize earning potential with any new employer.

It seems the Foundation and Ney felt Bielema failed all four of those requirements and therefore breached the agreement.

Bielema is a likable guy, but his monthly payments were about nine times the average income in Arkansas for a year, and nowhere did the agreement say he could make a career change.

Bielema’s lawyer answered with a laundry list of ways Bielema had searched for head coaching jobs, but when studied there were several emails between Bielema and Cornrich about various subjects.

There was a hint about Arizona, who was already looking at Kevin Sumlin. There were several media speculations that Bielema was in line for a job, but there were no quotes from him.

Meanwhile, Bielema was an unpaid volunteer for the Patriots for an entire year, and of the 10 Power 5 openings, he sought none.

 

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