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Showing content with the highest reputation on 10/12/21 in all areas
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“Hollywood is trying to make Superman gay and he is not.” To truly understand the stupidity destroying America, study that sentence. The right wing persistently opposes progress in the real, objective world in service of cherished fictional narratives. That is almost a definition of right wing politics today. I can’t believe I have to explain this, but here we are. Superman is neither gay nor straight. Because he is not real. Every one of Superman’s traits is entirely fictional, concocted solely in the mind of various authors and illustrators of Superman stories over the years. There is no basis in objective reality against which we can test the truth of any statement about Superman. Superman’s character traits are subject entirely to the fickleness of human imagination. If an author wants Superman to be gay, he can be. Because there is no objective, real-world caped superhuman alien-born hero against which we can compare any given’s authors claims about this character’s fictional sexuality. The right wing, however, operates under the illusion that Superman is somehow an actual person and that, like Greedy Jesus and Patriotic Confederates and That Part of the Constitution That Says That Pence Should Have Anointed Trump Despite The Election Results, he is part of what it means to be a True American. Any attack on this entirely fictional, preposterous character is viewed as an attack on our nation’s cherished values. Never mind things like freedom of the press or the separation of church from state. America was founded on the simple belief that an alien baby from the planet Krypton arrived in a space cradle and grew up to shoot laser beams out of his eyes and bend steel girders and fuck women and only women. *sniff* God Bless the USA.22 points
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A follow up to the above. Tl;dr: the Emus are no more, man rules emus, and pussy rules man. My wife finally decided that we are not emu farmers. Thank God. She contacted the previous owners, and told them she was going to be getting rid of them and offered them first rights to take them back at no charge. To my utter fucking surprise, they agreed, and would be coming from Tennessee to Colorado to pick them up! I wondered what level of Hatfield-vs-McCoys trouble these poor people must have gotten themselves into if they are willing to bring back the emus? Around mid-day Sunday they arrived with their big ass truck and livestock trailer. The wife got out of the driver's seat. She's 5'0" and weighs about half an emu. Her and my wife immediately started gabbing. I kept looking at the truck, waiting for her husband to get out, and all the emu wranglers they had when they dropped them off. I started to get a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach, so I interjected: Me: "Hey, uh, so.... would you and your husband like some water?" Emu Lady: "Oh, haha, you're so funny. Its just me, and I have a bottle right here in my hands! My husband had a flag football game today." I shot my wife an angry glare, but she wouldn't meet my eyes. This should be fucking interesting. We got my 13 year old son and headed down to the pen, while the emu lady backed her trailer up to the gate. Her and my wife started to strategize. Emu Lady: "I am sure they still recognize me. Let me go in and lead them to the trailer." They didn't recognize her. Or if they did, it was as a food source. She dashed out of the pen 5 seconds later, with some blood dripping from her fingers. Emu Lady: "Wow, they've gotten fiesty! Have you been feeding them?" Wife: "Oh yes, we love them and take very good care of them." Me: "Every day for 11 months now, with nary a contribution to the farm." Emu Lady: "Ok, well maybe I can put some food in the trailer and that will get them in." Nope. If cat food and sunflower seeds were ever a motivator for these fucking wannabe dinosaurs, that was gone after they got a taste of human flesh. My wife got some plastic temporary fencing, with the idea that she and the emu lady would stretch that out between them and try to use it as a net to guide the emus into the trailer. Me: "I don't think that's going to work." Wife: "Fuck you, honey. I don't see you helping." The women made it about 3 steps into the pen. The emus glanced at them, they both dropped their ends of the temp fence and bolted. We all kind of stood there for a moment, not saying anything, then I noticed my wife and the emu lady looking at each other. They seemed to exchange some sort of hidden communication, as if they were having a conversation telepathically. I got that bad feeling in the pit of my stomach again. Emu Lady: "I wish my husband were here. We'd be done by now." Me: "Yep, but apparently he loves flag football more than you." Wife: "Yeah, I think we need more help for this. Real help." Me: "We could always just cull them." Emu Lady & my wife: "NO!" Wife: "What would your husband do to help if he were here?" Emu Lady: "He'd just grab them and hold them until I could get a rope around their neck and lead them into the trailer." Me: "Its a real shame he's abandoned you in your hour of need." My wife turned, stared at me intensely, and started speaking to me telepathically. Look, you can either man up and help get these emus into this fucking trailer, or you can move into the fucking camper and say goodbye to our sex life. And then I'll have to find someone else to take these goddammed emus, and when they get here to pick them up, you'll have to help wrangle them then anyway. So go take your balls out of my purse, and show your son how a man handles a problem. I glanced at my son, who had been standing there watching all this, trying to remain unnoticed. He spoke to me telepathically: Dad, I thought more of you than this. You were my hero, but you can't even get an overgrown chicken into a trailer. I guess I'll just grow up to be gay. "Fine. Get your rope, just be ready to get it on these emus, and when we've got them in the trailer, I want you to drive back to Tennessee and never come west of the Mississippi river again." My son and wife beamed proudly while the emu lady got her rope. We both entered the pen, and she stayed at the gate. I decided I would take Eddie first. He's the biggest of the four. The alpha male, and the one that is the most aggressive. I figured if I was going to die that day, I might as well get it over with. I walked towards him. As I got within about 10 yards, his hackles stood up, he turned to face me, extended his neck and started hissing. I kept approaching, and he started walking towards me, kicking and hissing. I heard the whistling from the Good, the Bad & The Ugly theme somewhere in the distance. He was at his full height, and towered over me and my 6'2" frame. I had a moment to think oh jesus, fuck this, I'll sleep in the goddamn trailer when he started to charge. He closed the gap in under a second. Shit was going down whether I wanted to quit or not. He lurched his neck downwards, pecking at my face, but I ducked under it, stepped into his feathered body and grabbed his fucking neck. I pivoted to get alongside his body so that he couldn't kick forward at me. I switched my grip on his neck to a headlock while I wrapped my other arm over his worthless wings to get a good hold on him. I drove upwards out of my crouch, lifted his ass up off the ground and executed a perfect fucking suplex with that goddamned emu. I quickly got on top of him to keep him pinned to the ground. My wife screamed. The emu lady stood there with her mouth agape. "GET THE FUCK OVER HERE!!" I yelled. She scrambled over, got the noose around Eddie's neck and tightened it. "Ok, get some tension on him, and then on the count of 3, I am going to roll away and you need to pull his ass towards that trailer and away from me." 1... 2... 3... I rolled away, and the emu lady did her part, keeping tension on Eddie so he couldn't re-engage me. Then I took the rope from her and got him all the way in. I stepped out through the trailer's front door, and met them back at the gate. My wife had a look of dire concern on her face. My son was beaming at me. Wife: "Is Eddie alright?" Emu lady: "I... think so?" Me: "Thanks, yeah, I'm fine." Wife: "I saw you trip and fall. Lucky that it was right on top of Eddie!" Me: "I didn't trip and fall, that was a perfectly executed grappling maneuver." Wife: "Haha, you are so funny! I hope Eddie isn't hurt...." The women continue checking out Eddie in the trailer, trying to make sure he didn't break a feather. Shrugging, I walked over to my son, who was still beaming at me. Son: "DAD! That was literally the craziest, coolest thing I've ever seen!!!" Me: "Not bad for an old man, eh? Now you know -- sometimes you have to be a little crazy when you are a man." We finished with the other 3 emu, none of which were nearly as eventful. I was able to just grab them and the emu lady was able to get a noose on them and lead them to the trailer herself. Within 45 minutes, she was driving off, ridding our farm of those goddamn emus. My wife made sure to reward me later that night. The next morning at breakfast she wanted to talk. Wife: "I've been thinking about what we should do with that pen now that the emus are gone..." Me: "Yeah? Like having some pigmy goats or something?" Wife: "Haha, you are so funny! What do you think about... WATER BUFFALO?" FUCK MY LIFE.22 points
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Well my wife's still pissed at me for being so salty after the loss, so that's something different.19 points
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Spent a glorious weekend in Breckenridge and Denver. This is my second extended trip to Colorado this year. As I was waiting to board my flight back to Austin, I reached an epiphany. Fuck Texas. Fuck what this state has become. Fuck what the hypocritical high school GED having right is doing to this state. Fuck what the over woke asshole left is doing to Austin. Fuck pretty much most of this state for being a flat wasteland of stupidity and idiocy. Fuck UT for wanting to join the other redneck glorified junior colleges of the SEC. Life is too short to live in Texas. I'm moving and retiring out West after my youngest graduates from UT. Fuck Abbott and his rolling hypocritical shit.18 points
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It was the very bad of times it was the not good of times.18 points
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I expect Owens to be one of myriad players that are gone by the spring unless a switch gets flipped. It has nothing to do with any sort of numbers crunch. Dead weight needs to be cut loose for the program to take proper flight. Word is there is a lot of dead weight. We have a scholarship punter that doesn't punt, for Christ's sake. I think we see a minimum of 10 early exits and something probably close to 15. With the post-pandemic era dawning (I don't need an update on news stories or handwringing about your personal corona concerns, I'm talking about the handling of psyches and rosters now going forward), I think this may be a thing across the country. Folks thought that the portal numbers were grim this past year? Uh huh.18 points
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so a religious nut job pharmacist can deny a woman her birth control pills, a baker hiding behind religious freedom can deny service to a gay couple, the state makes an underage girl get an adult parental approval for an abortion but will then make that same underage girl carry to term after 6 weeks because of course she will have the resources, life experiences and wisdom to be a good parent... but a business cannot implement a vaccine mandate on their employees or customers? there's a whole bunch of stupid hypocrisy at play. again fuck abbott and his rolling bullshit.13 points
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If you look closely you can actually see the exact moment this thread went full texags in this very post13 points
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Awful lot of "I'm an old white guy and I don't understand why we can't just say what we want" energy in this thread.13 points
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The problem with the database is primarily it cannot fractionate out which vaccine causes which side effects. There are tons of vaccines that did not make it past Phase I, II, etc. As well, reading through the disclaimers you must agree to before even searching suggest this data dump in not verified and likely is coming directly from patients. Past that the vast majority of the reported side effects are benign. Cough, Nausea, Vertigo, etc. I've been a part of a massive role out of both Moderna and Pfizer. The vast majority of patient's deal with some arm pain and maybe 24-48 hours of fever/malaise. Past that we haven't needed to use Benadryl once for any concerns of an allergic reaction. Anyone at this point suggesting the mRNA vaccines are either ineffective or has unknown side effects is trying to find an excuse to hold onto to not get them. I wish the vast majority of those looking for other avenues (Hydroxychloroquine, Ivermectin, Beet Powder, etc) would simply just say they don't wish to be vaccinated for whatever reason and stop trying to explain their reasoning. I'm tired of people coming to me after all of my training and experience and letting me know how they are more informed and better educated on how to approach the Pandemic. You are not and you are simply not willing to be vaccinated. I hope it doesn't cost you your health/life.12 points
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It's been a few days and it seems that everyone has mostly calmed down. I find myself asking this question - what are the real impacts of the loss Saturday? If Texas still takes care of business it controls it's own destiny to the CCG, this has not changed. If Texas still takes care of business it ends the season with a top 10 ranking, this has not changed. If Texas beats Oklahoma in the CCG while still in control of it's own destiny they will be knocking off a top 4 team in a CCG, it will be a 2 loss Big XII team with a top 10 ranking, and possibly a top 5 ranking. Is the only difference that, assuming Texas does what it is capable of through the end of the season that Cincinatti gets in and Texas gets left out, still playing in a NY6 game, but not in the Playoffs? There is no such thing as a good loss, but the negative impacts of this loss don't seem to be all that drastic at this point. Recruiting doesn't seem like it will take a hit as some of the deficiencies could be a draw for some defensive talent to make a difference immediately. The offense sees young players who are dynamic getting early playing time and getting the ball often, which is a draw. The OL play is another obvious opportunity for a young top ranked player to come in and make a difference. What do you think the impacts of the Loss Saturday against OU were?11 points
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15 runs in 2 games in Houston. 16 runs in 2 games in Chicago. Very suspicious. 🤔11 points
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A) This exact shit was written about Simms and Tennessee in the 1999 recruiting cycle. B) Who the fuck has Georgia produced justifying your take in your mind? Justin Fields? Nope. Fromm? Right. Eason? Holy shit. You’re aware that Kirby Smart’s regime didn’t coach Matt Stanford, right? C) Your posts have a lot more value when you have the hot ass chick in various bikini shots in your avatar. Maybe go add that, take some time to regroup after a terrible post, and come back better in the future?10 points
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Fuck Blue Ribbon beer Fuck deep dish pizza Fuck Candy Man Fuck Ferris Buehler Fuck Oprah Fuck Capone Fuck Siskel and Ebert Fuck the Smashing Pumpkins Fuck Wayne’s World Fuck every John Hughes movie Fuck the Blues Brothers Fuck the Sears Tower Fuck Married With Children Fuck the 1893 World’s Fair Fuck the Navy Pier Fuck Michigan Ave Fuck homicide Fuck R. Kelly Fuck Lincoln Park Fuck Millennium Park Fuck fake green rivers Fuck their wind Fuck 1920’s speakeasies Fuck Shoeless Joe Jackson Fuck Chicago the musical Fuck Kanye West’s birthplace Fuck Frank Thomas Fuck Robin Ventura Fuck Mike Ditka Fuck George Halas Fuck Comiskey10 points
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BINGO! (that got my 'racist conservative asshole' bingo card very, very close to a complete blackout, as well)10 points
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The leader of the republican party led an actual attack on Congress as it was enacting the results of the election. The entire party has stood pat with the elected members who were involved in literally attacking our democracy. They’re currently working on further delegitimizing our system of government with electoral audits that are completely unhinged from reality, among other things we don’t need to get into because isn’t that enough? If you vote for republicans, you are literally voting yes on attacking the Constitution. They are the greatest threat to our values and system of government since the Civil War.10 points
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Pretty sure it was Ben Davis unless he was wearing the wrong jersey and the announcers were completely wrong.9 points
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Ah yes, cancel culture. A recent phenomenon, for sure. I remember the good old days when people were simply fired for being gay, or not being the right religion, or having different political beliefs, or believing women should vote, or advocating for equal rights among the races.9 points
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Then they're all morons. You might have some politically incorrect -- if not outright bigoted -- thoughts running through your head, and you might even share them in a verbal conversation with your close friends. But in this millennia, if you actually put that shit in an email and hit "send," you're a fucking moron. We try to tell our clients that whenever they send an email or text to imagine the possibility of that email blown up on a screen in front of a jury. Yet some of them still put the dumbest things in emails.9 points
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Jesus Christ dude. I just wanna point out to anyone that may be reading this in the future…I am not friends with markstanco. Also I supported NowThis during his time here, which was all too brief.9 points
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MLB should install a lockout device on the White Sox dugout that Larussa has to blow into before he’s allowed to talk to the umpires.8 points
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What has changed is exactly what you repeated in your post. We’re now relying on a bunch of IFs. IF we run the table, IF we take care of business (when the fuck have we ever taken care of business?), IF we make the conference championship game… We were up 28-7 and looking at a bunch of WHENs. WHEN recruiting blows up, WHEN we make the Big XII championship game, WHEN we’re finally done getting our asses kicked by Oklahoma. The season went from WHEN to IF just like that. Because IF we lose this weekend, a very real possibility, all this “it’s not so bad, what has changed?” shit will quickly devolve into the same fuckery we’ve experienced for the past decade. Congrats to those of you who are over it. I’m not there yet. It’s always IF with this fucking program. I’m ready to get back to the WHEN.8 points
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The potential impact to recruiting when combined with the aggie win. We'll see how that plays out.8 points
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His father was battling a terminal illness that took his life recently. He stepped away to take care of his family. He could be back this spring.8 points
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I'm curious why ESPN is walking away from this unscathed and is not facing any kind of scrutiny? Gruden was employed by ESPN when all these emails were sent, not the Raiders. The NFL leaked emails to the NYT to cause public outrage because they knew the Raiders couldn't fire Gruden for cause due to emails made years ago when he wasn't even employed by the NFL. The NFL wasn't going to stop leaking emails until push came to shove and it became too much of a distraction for the Raiders organization. The NFL employs Antonio Brown, DeShaun Watson and Tyreek Hill. Don't give me that shit that players shouldn't be held to the same standards they're grown ass men too and know right from wrong. Is this the world we live in where some hateful language is worse than domestic violence?8 points
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You must know some really shitty and stupid people. I’m no spring chicken but I sure as shit can’t say many people I know are like this asshole. And I do give a rat’s ass. Fuck Gruden.8 points
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Cool deflection I'm not a shitbag see my kids have sleepovers with other races8 points
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