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  1. Willfully Horn

    Willfully Horn

    Certifiably Surly


    • Points

      93

    • Posts

      6254


  2. Js1

    Js1

    Certifiably Surly


    • Points

      90

    • Posts

      72577


  3. The Dog

    The Dog

    Burnt Ends


    • Points

      85

    • Posts

      11608


  4. Brisketexan

    Brisketexan

    Legacy Members


    • Points

      69

    • Posts

      51504


Popular Content

Showing content with the highest reputation on 01/31/25 in all areas

  1. You’re too humble. I get it. I, too, often shrink from the limelight of center stage in an effort to give others their moment. I can’t allow it here though, so I’ll let everyone see your true Longhorn patriotic commitment to the cause with the text of your last DM: β€œI only regret, that I have but one mouth to give for my team’s roster. β€œ
    27 points
  2. No politics means no liberals it doesn't mean no politics
    25 points
  3. Okay, my beautiful friends, I can now share my update with Arch and the Glorious Sacred Surly Horns 2024-2025 signed football. I got to hang while Arch Manning shot Red Bull promotional content. it was really fun and really cold, too. As previously reported, Arch is super-chill and very approachable. The event was pretty funny, 'cause one thing he got to do was throw marshmallows 50 yards into the mouth of this hilarious Instagram guy. Yes, you heard that right. I've never seen anything like it. Red Bull also bright this badass electric bike. It really wanted to come home with me. Best of all, Arch signed the Glorious Sacred Surly Horns 2024-2025 Football. @immamac, the ball now has the signatures of Arch Quinn Gunnar Helm Tre Wisner Jahdae Barron Isaiah Bond As requested, I will shoot for some more signatures. No promises. Thanks!
    23 points
  4. Does all this mean that Tucker is now Kicker the Dicker?
    23 points
  5. Texas didn’t have a DL coach for a big part of the cycle last year. That played a role. Oregon took the UH guy with fuck you money and then Venables went nuts for Damonic Williams. That guy needs DTs the way Catholic priests need Jesus. He’s like SuperHelobious. Texas also had signals from people around both Michigan DTs that they were thinking about entering the portal. All of that led to activity in the second window that felt sort of β€œmeh” to everyone. Of course, just like the cycle for the 2023 season, there were a few crybabies on here who bitched about NIL letting the program down at DT and predicting the program’s near term demise accordingly. Kickers need more finesse than anything that, allegedly, Helobious can provide. @BurntOrange&White has DM’d me multiple times that he’s happy to be on deck for the team if a gentle ball gargler is needed. It might be time to call him up.
    23 points
  6. Non-political tariffs thread Lulz what .gif or describe a grill cheese without mentioning cheese, bread, butter, food, eating, ingestion, or nutrition
    22 points
  7. The irony here is thicc af.
    20 points
  8. My goodness. Remember when Trump got on Truth social and said he was sending the military into California to turn the water back or whatever? I thought that was just some crazy talk. However, it seems to have had a grain of β€œTruth”, as it were. It appears the Army Corps of Engineers was ordered by an appointee to drain full reservoirs into flooded farmland without telling anyone or coordinating anything, and sent farmers, local politicians and others into a scramble to stop it before it destroyed equipment and crops. For the record, Tulare County voted 60-40 for Trump.
    18 points
  9. This is simply not true.....the last DM i sent to you was regarding your vehicle service warranty.
    18 points
  10. Literal LOL at patting yourself on the back for blaming the deficit/debt on the left. Holy shit.
    17 points
  11. My father died last night. He was 87 years old. It was his time. He was ready. I wasn’t. But then, I suspect that we never are. We only have one father in our lives and, if we’re lucky, he’s a good one. Mine was. I can’t think of my father without thinking of fishing. I love to fish, he taught me to fish, and I passed that along to my kids. But the most meaningful fish of my life is a fish I never caught. Now, anyone who has ever fished with me knows that the world is full of fish I’ve never caught (why, the laws of physics may even be bent; I may have not caught more fish than have ever existed). But the fish I’m talking about was a flounder in the summer of 1984 or so. I was a teen. Being that age, I had a particularly difficult relationship with my father at that time. As I grew into myself and worked on figuring out who I was, a good part of that exercise was me pushing back on everything my father was, everything he wanted, everything he said, everything he even thought. I was….an unpleasant adolescent. And my father did not bend to my will. He pushed back. He loved me enough to stand fast, and to make me hate him, because he wasn’t going to stop being my father, even if that required standing strong and letting there be conflict. There was a great distance between us – the greatest it had ever been and ever would be. We had functionally nothing in common. We could go weeks without meaningful conversation. But we had one thing – ONE THING – that we still shared; we loved to fish, and we still liked to do it together. So, reaching out to me, to try to hold on to that last, tenuous thread holding father and son together, he suggested we go on a fishing trip to south Texas, to the bay house of dear family friends where we’d had so many great trips before. I agreed, because hey, I loved fishing. We had a great trip. We ate giant chicken fried steaks at the Brush Country Inn. We fished from a lighted pier all night long, every night for three days. And we caught fish, mostly speckled trout. But one night, I hooked into something big. My rod was bowed, it was a fight to get whatever it was to the dock. We were going to need the landing net. As I fought the fish close enough for us to finally get a glimpse, we saw that it was a beautiful, enormous flounder. Truly, the biggest flounder I’ve ever had on the line. I maneuvered him to the pier, my father laid out on his stomach with the landing net so he could reach as far out as possible to net the fish. As he lowered the net into the water, the flounder turned, shook his head once, and swam off. I felt in an instant when he threw the hook. My father flailed with the net, trying to scoop the fish before he got away. No dice. I was laughing – because of COURSE the best fish of the trip just shook the hook and swam away. That is the way of fishing with me. But what struck me was my dad’s reaction. He flailed with the net, and had a look of real anguish on his face. Anguish that the fish he wanted me to catch got away. Disappointment FOR me. Not IN me, but for me. He cared. In spite of all I’d put him through, how much I had alienated him, what mattered most to him was seeing ME have success. After all that had come between us – and still WAS standing between us – he loved me. Totally. Completely. Unconditionally. It still took us a long time to heal, and grow back together, but as we did so, I always remembered that fish, and how much he cared. Through everything, my father’s love was an anchor. His love for me. His love for my mother – oh, how he loved my mother. His love for my wife – a relationship that was far from easy, but was bound up in that same complicated love that I experienced for a time. A relationship that drew upon her pastoral strength and presence, which when he needed it, at the very end – it was there. Given freely, with grace, and with a connection to the divine that, well if you know wife, you know from which it flows. And love for his grandkids. To a person, everyone I’ve talked to about my dad since his passing has mentioned how he adored them. How proud he was of them. How they reminded him of my mother, my wife, me, and sometimes even of him. To the end, he talked about how his love for them was what kept him going. What he loved the most about each of them was their kindness – their intelligence and their achievements mattered, but when he spoke of them, he always spoke of how good and decent they are. Which makes sense, as his kindness was his enduring feature. There are things I knew of and saw along the way. When a family member was in a bind, how money was sent to solve the problem, no questions asked, and no expectation of repayment. And mind you, we were not a family of any great means. There also are things I didn’t know of before – how they opened their home to a young man as he started his cancer treatments in Houston and needed a safe place to stay. Again, no questions asked – just sharing of what they had, being kind because – well, why wouldn’t you be? My father was a child of the border, and all that entails. Some of it was hard; he was separated from his parents often at a young age, because they weren’t going to send him to school in the crappy little Mexican ranching town they lived in. So he grew up mostly in Eagle Pass, with family. He found opportunity in education – a high school teacher told him and so many of his classmates that they could go to college, driving them to A&M – yes, A&M – in the local school bus to see the campus and watch a football game. He got that education, which let him live a life that took him on adventures around the world – his years working in Argentina, living in Buenos Aires with my mother, the two of them together living a life of dreams, was one of the highlights of his life. Indeed, my father’s story cannot be told – not even a little bit – without talking about my mother. The best things in this world are love stories, the real love stories, the stories of a love that is tied to your very being. Theirs was that kind of love story. My father was a freewheeling young man living in the valley, working in the oil patch. My mother was a striking beauty, but the product of a hard life of fleeing an alcoholic father, abuse, poverty, and betrayal. She desperately wanted a man who would be kind to her, and who could someday provide her the life she barely dared to dream of. They met. My father couldn’t believe that he’d met the beauty he'd seen only from a distance. And my mother couldn’t believe that she’d met a man who was so kind, and so devoted. They married having dated for only a few weeks. And they were together for decades after that. He gave her the life she dreamed of – a son, a home, safety and security – until she died three years ago. He was her rock. She was his love, his adoration, his heart. And dear God, did he miss her so. Every day. In the end, he was ready to go. So he went. On his terms. He was ready to see her again. I hope that is a thing, that we do see each other again in some beyond. In our last conversation – which I knew was our last – we talked of the universe, and stardust. And how we are at once insignificant pieces of coalesced stardust in a universe of trillions of galaxies….but that same infinite, incomprehensible universe cannot have its story told without speaking of the time that some coalesced stardust was my father. And some other coalesced stardust was my mother. And together, they found and fostered a love fitting for an infinite universe. We are in awe of the universe, but the universe itself should be in awe of love. We matter. Love matters. My heart is broken. My parents are now both gone. My children are devastated by loss. My wife is my rock, a guide and pillar for me as I grieve. And I am lucky. I am so goddamned lucky.
    16 points
  12. We should place this next to the non-sexual Sugar Baby thread
    16 points
  13. @Brisketexan started a thread about the passing of his father and it has started a lot of us that have also lost our fathers to look back fondly on lessons learned and experiences with them. @dcbc suggested that we start a thread for those memories, so here it is. Let's hear them. I'll start. My Dad was a farm kid that joined the Navy in 1944, served on the USS Wisconsin at Okinawa, saw the world and didn't want to go back to the farm. He eventually went to work for the USPS, working his way up to an office job in Schemes and Routing. It was his job to figure out how to get mail trucks to and from the sectional centers around Wichita and keep it all flowing. He also had to determine which carriers were given airmail routes that originated in Wichita. Enough background for now. 1973, I was a newlywed and my wife and I decided to fly to St Louis to visit my brother. We bought tickets from TWA and excitedly arrived at the airport, She had never flown before. We went to the counter and the ticket agent noticed the last name and asked if Old Man Shoxthemonkey was any relation to me. I said he was my father and we were promptly upgraded to first class. We took the trip, first class going and coming home, and thought, wow, what a trip! We stopped at the folks on the way home from the airport and recounted the story. My Dad flipped out, he was horrified. The next day he reported the incident to his superior and received a reprimand for it. I'm not sure it would have ever been known otherwise but it was a valuable lesson for me to do the right thing, even if it might have been possible to ignore it. I have a lot of funny memories too.
    15 points
  14. I've decided to leave my wife to pursue my dream of banging Scarlett Johansson.
    15 points
  15. Here’s how this plays out. Trump issues tariffs, costs of goods go up across the board. Trump β€œnegotiates” a cease on tariffs. Prices never come down. Corporations and billionaires make additional trillions in profit post tariffs. The 99% get poorer overall.
    15 points
  16. let's not talk about former Westlake players and handjobs at this time
    14 points
  17. 14 points
  18. Let's not forget that presidential track record on budget deficit explosions.
    14 points
  19. Helobius needs to go help Justin Tucker so he can stop harassing the masseuses
    14 points
  20. I was 1st in line at the light on 5th & Trinity as Jerry crossed over from whatever the junior version of Abratto's was on the SW corner. I distinctly remember thinking that I'd go to jail, but I could do something great for humanity, and America's Team, at that moment. Still feel shame that I didn't have the balls to mash the right foot.
    13 points
  21. One of the more off-putting sentences that I've read on here in awhile.
    13 points
  22. I'm practically best friends with Justin. Talked to him last week. He was just telling me that he had an appointment with the Urologist. The doctor told him that he absolutely had to stop masturbating. When Justin asked "Why?" the doctor said, "So I can examine you!"
    13 points
  23. Sounds like it already did, several times.
    13 points
  24. 3 miles from Four Seasons Total Landscaping. That’s not a coincidence
    12 points
  25. Canada should just say, "You win, we've decided to stop sending fentanyl and illegals across the border, well played Mr President." And then just move on. 100% that would work.
    12 points
  26. I think Surly likes him. But he struggles at the QB position at the P4 level so his worth as a person is zero.
    12 points
  27. This website is known for dark humor but make one β€œpolitical” joke and the tears start flowing
    11 points
  28. Me for the next 2 seasons:
    11 points
  29. Is it political to point out that these tariffs are prohibited by the trade agreement his administration negotiated and signed? You’d think it’s in the government’s interest to respect treaties or trade agreements with our allies - but nah fuck all that. Let’s disrupt favorable international relations for funsies. Oh also you seem to be missing impacts on housing due to lumber tariffs, increased costs for aluminum, the Fed keeping interest rates high, private sector more likely to implement hiring freezes to stockpile cash in case of an economic downturn, and the retaliation against goods we export which all will inevitably make kitchen table issues more expensive and also destabilize the stock markets. Should we also ignore that it seems a material motive for the administration is rooted in misunderstanding the definition of a trade deficit? Because that seems like an important part of this whole situation too
    11 points
  30. Wordle 1,322 6/6 🟨⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜🟨🟨⬜ ⬜🟩🟩⬜⬜ ⬜🟩🟩⬜⬜ ⬜🟩🟩🟨🟨 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
    11 points
  31. Thetexashammer bashing others for their less than stellar track records...got damn, that's some funny shit right there.
    11 points
  32. Add to that the C-Suite and Senior people at the beltway contractors confederation. They are crying right now. "Oh noes, my program is halted." Yeah, well that is what happens when there is a government review. Something he promised to do. What sucks is they are laying off, not halting in place, their workers. That is where they are cutting costs to save their asses so they can make that payment on their leased BMW. Going to be funny to watch all the recruiters scramble when these programs come back on line. You need how many welders? Um, yeah, they are not interested in working for you. Now keep in mind, 30+% of Austin/Travis voted Trump. Wonder how many were tech bros with some USG contract. Hope they stocked p on stretch dress pants. They might come in handy when they are stocking shelves at the new Amazon facility coming to each neighborhood. I finally am enjoying checking Linkedin.
    11 points
  33. So, as a result of this ruling, the mostly blue states that sued will continue to receive funding, but the red states that are going along with Trump's idiocy will not. \
    10 points
  34. This is a fucking coup.
    10 points
  35. Dad was a United States Secret Service agent and was on protective duty for the last year of Ford and 1st year of Carter. We had moved from Los Angeles to DC for the protective duty assignment but his Dad (my granddad) died and then his brother died in a matter of 6 mos, so we packed up the Chevy Station wagon and drove from DC back to Southern CA. It changed our lives as he was on a track to maybe one day run the whole damn agency...he was very well thought of from what his buddies have told me over the years. Anyway he became Special Agent in Charge of Dallas field office in the 80's and thus started my conversion from CA surfer kid to Texan. One story that has always stuck with me. Most summer Saturdays, he would drive me and my 2 brothers plus our 3 cousins to Huntington Beach to boogie board. Rules were, we couldn't set foot in the ocean until he got back from his run. He'd bang out 8 miles in an hour. The 6 of us would be lined up on the edge of water sitting on our boards, leashed up. Once we would catch sight of him on the horizon, we would all get so pumped, ready for a day of catching waves. He would get back, strip to his 70's era running shorts , take a dip, pop open a Lowenbrau (or 10) and put on Vin Scully, if the Dodgers were playing, Chick Hearn ( he called him Chicky Baby) if the Lakers were....or Johnny Cash if not. He was a legend. My cousins called him "Big JIm".
    10 points
  36. Wordle 1,322 5/6* β¬›β¬›πŸŸ©β¬›β¬› β¬›β¬›πŸŸ©πŸŸ©β¬› β¬›πŸŸ©πŸŸ©πŸŸ©πŸŸ© β¬›πŸŸ©πŸŸ©πŸŸ©πŸŸ© 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 Connections Puzzle #600 🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟦🟦🟦🟦 🟨🟨🟨🟨 πŸŸͺπŸŸͺπŸŸͺπŸŸͺ
    10 points
  37. Wordle 1,322 3/6 πŸŸ¨β¬›πŸŸ©πŸŸ¨β¬› πŸŸ©β¬›πŸŸ©πŸŸ©β¬› 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 Connections Puzzle #600 🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟦🟦🟦🟦 🟨🟨🟨🟨 πŸŸͺπŸŸͺπŸŸͺπŸŸͺ πŸ™‚ Daily Quordle 1103 πŸŸ₯4️⃣ 5️⃣6️⃣ m-w.com/games/quordle/ ⬜⬜🟨⬜🟩 🟩⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜🟨 ⬜⬜🟨🟨⬜ ⬜⬜⬜🟨⬜ 🟨⬜⬜⬜🟨 ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 ⬜🟨🟨⬜⬜ ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬜🟩⬜⬜⬜ ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ 🟩🟩⬜🟩🟩 ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ 🟩🟩⬜🟩🟩 ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ 🟩🟩⬜🟩🟩 ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬜⬜🟩⬜🟨 ⬜⬜🟨⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜🟨⬜ ⬜⬜🟨🟨⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜🟨⬜⬜ ⬜⬜🟩🟨⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟩⬜🟨⬜🟨 ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
    10 points
  38. So I guess the secret to being a clutch FG kicker is keeping the pipes clean? I would have jerked Auburn off myself rather than endure another game with his shit FG kicking.
    10 points
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