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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

Spur08

By Spur08
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McCroskey
McCroskey

Buddy sent a text today...said his wife decided to shop vac their fireplace and clean up all the ash. When she finished, she turned around and didn’t realize the shop vac lid wasn’t really seated, so

BearCountry11
BearCountry11

From earlier this evening...   My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the

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mulletpelini

mulletpelini 5206

Posted
Posted
22 hours ago, Bone3421 said:

I have no idea if they were married but spanish/latina women was losing her shit in parking lot just screaming you use me im not your slave and other stuff...dude is calm and not yelling...entertaining and what not. Then she starts calling him a murderer...that peaked my interest lol

Anyways they get in car and she still is yelling and losing her shit...dude never yelled or raised voice...good times wal-mart

 

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You don't know me

You don't know me 1161

Posted
Posted

Winter vortex moves in and it's frigid.  Woke up this morning to -6 with windchill of -20. 

Last night when I got home from work it was somewhere around 20 outside.  First thing I see when I open the door is a space heater in the hallway.  It just so happens to be right under the thermostat for the downstairs.  So, it's 70 or so in the hallway, but the rest of the downstairs is probably between 50 and 55.  Basement is frigid.

I shake my head, unplug the space heater, and tell the wife that I'm starting a fire (we have fireplace inserts in the basement and on the main level that can heat the entire house).  She says "Why?  It's 70 degrees in the house!"

 

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Tyler Durden

Tyler Durden 132

Posted
Posted
On 1/29/2019 at 8:14 AM, Upgrayedd said:

I make a pot of coffee for the Avatar and me every morning.  Every morning I take a cup, wait for the Avatar to take hers, then finish the pot (usually a full cup).  Everyday, same system.

Except for this morning.  “You hog, you took all the coffee!”

”Wait, I saw you in there getting coffee.  Did I not make enough?”

”I used a smaller cup today.”

”How is that my fault?”

”You should have asked.”

”So ask 48,000 times in anticipation for that one day, today, where you would use a smaller cup?”

Tone

On stuff like that, I have had some success, with telling her that she is getting upset or acting based on things I could not possibly know unless she told me.  Not a lot of success but anything is nice.  My next goal is to be able to skip the part of a fight where I have to explain that she is making arguments or getting upset based on things I did not say and/or don't believe.  One can hope.

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ABSR

ABSR 5266

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Posted
10 minutes ago, Tyler Durden said:

On stuff like that, I have had some success, with telling her that she is getting upset or acting based on things I could not possibly know unless she told me.  Not a lot of success but anything is nice.  My next goal is to be able to skip the part of a fight where I have to explain that she is making arguments or getting upset based on things I did not say and/or don't believe.  One can hope.

That relationship stage is called death. 

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Sandman

Sandman 3399

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7 minutes ago, Dennis Taylor said:

is she looking for a job or to switch jobs? because the 'this job sucks because of reasons 1-750 and i need a new one " drama is a whole different level 

Switching jobs. Current employer merged and we don't know if it will be viable after the dust settles. But she's injecting as much drama as she can, have no fear.

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JimmyHoffa

JimmyHoffa 1188

Posted
Posted (edited)
36 minutes ago, Dennis Taylor said:

is she looking for a job or to switch jobs? because the 'this job sucks because of reasons 1-750 and i need a new one " drama is a whole different level 

 

HA. This is my life at least once a month. She has a great job, she's really good at and loves. But at least once a month she says she can't handle it anymore and wants to quit. I give her the same answer every time- "If it really is that stressful and you aren't happy than quit, we will be fine as I want you to be happy."

Since she has never taken me up on the offer I assume it's just some odd form of stress relief to say she wants to quit since she never pulls the trigger.

I love my wife to death and she is a great mother but she wouldn't be able to handle being home with the kids 24/7. She would be fine during the school year but summer would be a totally different animal. I also think she would miss working a lot, granted she could get some mindless part time job to fill that void but it wouldn't be the same and she knows it. 

Edited by JimmyHoffa
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Dennis Taylor

Dennis Taylor 18544

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Posted
4 minutes ago, JimmyHoffa said:

 

HA. This is my life at least once a month. She has a great job, she's really good at and loves. But at least once a month she says she can't handle it anymore and wants to quit. I give her the same answer every time- "If it really is that stressful and you aren't happy than quit, we will be fine as I want you to be happy."

Since she has never taken me up on the offer I assume it's just some odd form of stress relief to say she wants to quit since she never pulls the trigger.

I love my wife to death and she is a great mother but she wouldn't be able to handle being home with the kids 24/7. She would be fine during the school year but summer would be a totally different animal. I also think she would miss working a lot, granted she could get some mindless part time job to fill that void but it wouldn't be the same and she knows it. 

once a month you say...?

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lateshow

lateshow 1303

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Tyler Durden said:

On stuff like that, I have had some success, with telling her that she is getting upset or acting based on things I could not possibly know unless she told me.  Not a lot of success but anything is nice.  My next goal is to be able to skip the part of a fight where I have to explain that she is making arguments or getting upset based on things I did not say and/or don't believe.  One can hope.

You sound like a man whose wife got pissed at him because she had a dream he was cheating on her. (Been there, brother)

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TrashMaster G

TrashMaster G 17263

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, You don't know me said:

Winter vortex moves in and it's frigid.  Woke up this morning to -6 with windchill of -20. 

Last night when I got home from work it was somewhere around 20 outside.  First thing I see when I open the door is a space heater in the hallway.  It just so happens to be right under the thermostat for the downstairs.  So, it's 70 or so in the hallway, but the rest of the downstairs is probably between 50 and 55.  Basement is frigid.

I shake my head, unplug the space heater, and tell the wife that I'm starting a fire (we have fireplace inserts in the basement and on the main level that can heat the entire house).  She says "Why?  It's 70 degrees in the house!"

 

Solid contribution.

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Charles DeMar

Charles DeMar 221

Posted
Posted

 

3 hours ago, Sandman said:

My wife is job hunting. Much drama. Pray for your surly brother.

God Bless. 

 

Mine, after 14 years of not working, decided to be a preschool teacher last year.  SO MUCH DRAMA with parents, fellow "teachers", school director, etc.  She loves/hates it every day.  Now she's considering going back to school for a masters. I asked "what degree and what's the job it gets you?"  Something something something, "I'm not sure, yet."


That's going to end up being 9 hours of credits with zero follow through over the next 18 months.

 

Who will pay for it?

 

Charles DeMar will...

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AM Wood

AM Wood 335

Posted
Posted
23 minutes ago, Charles DeMar said:

 

  SO MUCH DRAMA with parents, fellow "teachers", school director, etc.  She loves/hates it every day. 

so like, the regular bull shit that all of us with a job have been putting up with daily for the 14 years she wasn't working?

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Cheeseweasel

Cheeseweasel 26437

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Kennythetiger said:

Naw, for all of the crazy shit that Mitch's wife does, I don't think I ever remember him saying anything disrespectful about her.  In fact, I would venture to guess her crazy shit probably entertains him.  Now Typhoon Mary, on the other hand....

If Typhoon Mary ends up dead, THEN Mitch will be PMing lawyers.

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Hugh G. Rection

Hugh G. Rection 156

Posted
Posted
 
God Bless. 
 
Mine, after 14 years of not working, decided to be a preschool teacher last year.  SO MUCH DRAMA with parents, fellow "teachers", school director, etc.  She loves/hates it every day.  Now she's considering going back to school for a masters. I asked "what degree and what's the job it gets you?"  Something something something, "I'm not sure, yet."

That's going to end up being 9 hours of credits with zero follow through over the next 18 months.
 
Who will pay for it?
 
Charles DeMar will...

Oh you’ll pay for it alright
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Charles DeMar

Charles DeMar 221

Posted
Posted
5 hours ago, AM Wood said:

so like, the regular bull shit that all of us with a job have been putting up with daily for the 14 years she wasn't working?

True, but on an inanely stupid level.  Example:


Mrs. DeMar - "Jimmy's mom didn't want him to be in the Butterfly class, so SCHOOL DIRECTOR switched him to the Rainbow Fish.  But, then, Billy's mom wanted the same and SCHOOL DIRECTOR wouldn't let him and she wouldn't even tell Billy's mom WHY!!!!  I mean, how mean and ridiculous, right!?" 


Charles - "Wow, I mean, yeah, could screw Billy up forever...."

 

Mrs. - Tone

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ztejas

ztejas 42744

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Posted
6 hours ago, PvilleStang said:

So, is Mitch just trying to doxx every surly divorce lawyer in this thread?  I bet his PMs look like my mailbox after I got a speeding ticket.

From the anecdotal evidence I have gathered, I would assume Mrs. Cumsteen is nothing short of grade A wife material.

If she weren't, why would he put up with these occasional yet hilarious shenanigans? 

And most of them seem harmless. Not even close to some of the actual divorce worthy shit within these pages.

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SHOOTER12

SHOOTER12 8766

Posted
Posted
10 hours ago, You don't know me said:

Winter vortex moves in and it's frigid.  Woke up this morning to -6 with windchill of -20. 

Last night when I got home from work it was somewhere around 20 outside.  First thing I see when I open the door is a space heater in the hallway.  It just so happens to be right under the thermostat for the downstairs.  So, it's 70 or so in the hallway, but the rest of the downstairs is probably between 50 and 55.  Basement is frigid.

I shake my head, unplug the space heater, and tell the wife that I'm starting a fire (we have fireplace inserts in the basement and on the main level that can heat the entire house).  She says "Why?  It's 70 degrees in the house!"

 

My prayers...you has them...

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cactusflinthead

cactusflinthead 26790

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On 1/28/2019 at 9:45 AM, HouTex said:

Houston has had rain just about every week since November. Everything is wet. Golf courses have pretty much been cart path only all winter. So i try to keep our sprinkler system off. Three days after a good rain the wife will tell me she turned the water back on. She says the grass seems to be dying. I’ve told her 10 times this fall and winter that that’s what dormant St. Augustine looks like. No matter. Three days after last week’s 1 inch of rain she turns it back on again with more rain forecast this week. The reason? Grass looks dead.

I can point you in the direction of a fungicide program. That'll be $9.95.

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Hate

Hate 20037

Posted
Posted
Naw, for all of the crazy shit that Mitch's wife does, I don't think I ever remember him saying anything disrespectful about her.  In fact, I would venture to guess her crazy shit probably entertains him.  Now Typhoon Mary, on the other hand....


I remember there being some drama early on TOS. I think her crazy got redirected into redecorating constantly, but I don’t think it’s always been wall crabs and buying new stuff to try make it look old.
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Mitch Cumsteen

Mitch Cumsteen 18326

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Update: she found Toothless. She went to the store next door to and they gave her his cell number. She asked where all of her shit was and he put it all in a storage unit except for one of the pieces that he is still working on in his garage. Yeah, right. That guy just got an influx of cash and he didn't give two fucks about working when he was broke. It will be years, if ever, before any of that furniture is finished.

The decorating and furniture shit doesn't really bother me. It has zero impact on us financially and she likes messing with it so what do I care?  Like any couple who has been together for 15+ years, we have our issues and we've definitely had some rough patches in our marriage. Overall, things are pretty good though.

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Cheeseweasel

Cheeseweasel 26437

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Posted
1 hour ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

Update: she found Toothless. She went to the store next door to and they gave her his cell number. She asked where all of her shit was and he put it all in a storage unit except for one of the pieces that he is still working on in his garage. Yeah, right. That guy just got an influx of cash and he didn't give two fucks about working when he was broke. It will be years, if ever, before any of that furniture is finished.

The decorating and furniture shit doesn't really bother me. It has zero impact on us financially and she likes messing with it so what do I care?  Like any couple who has been together for 15+ years, we have our issues and we've definitely had some rough patches in our marriage. Overall, things are pretty good though.

It's all fun and games until Toothless gets in the Bathroom Crab business.

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Beau Vine

Beau Vine 53625

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On ‎1‎/‎30‎/‎2019 at 9:57 AM, Tyler Durden said:

On stuff like that, I have had some success, with telling her that she is getting upset or acting based on things I could not possibly know unless she told me.  Not a lot of success but anything is nice.  My next goal is to be able to skip the part of a fight where I have to explain that she is making arguments or getting upset based on things I did not say and/or don't believe.  One can hope.

FaithfulVigilantHermitcrab-size_restrict

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Tyler Durden

Tyler Durden 132

Posted
Posted
Update: she found Toothless. She went to the store next door to and they gave her his cell number. She asked where all of her shit was and he put it all in a storage unit except for one of the pieces that he is still working on in his garage. Yeah, right. That guy just got an influx of cash and he didn't give two fucks about working when he was broke. It will be years, if ever, before any of that furniture is finished.
The decorating and furniture shit doesn't really bother me. It has zero impact on us financially and she likes messing with it so what do I care?  Like any couple who has been together for 15+ years, we have our issues and we've definitely had some rough patches in our marriage. Overall, things are pretty good though.

Has she seen her stuff? Have a hard time believing he still has it. And will all that crap being taken care of, have you considered asking him to go through your house and take whatever crap he can load into a trailer?
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Kwix

Kwix 2186

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Posted
On 2/1/2019 at 7:04 AM, MNLonghornFUKM said:
On 2/1/2019 at 7:02 AM, McCroskey said:
Wife bought a huge bag of chicken nuggets from Costco. Resealable bag, and naturally, this is how she opens it. WTF??

0c27f58c7915fc2ab7a6bf8c44b06525.jpg


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Read more  

That and Tyson is having a huge recall right now..

Those are the exact nuggets recalled. White meat panko chicken nuggets. 

https://slate.com/technology/2019/01/tyson-chicken-nuggets-recall-rubber-contamination.html

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Upgrayedd

Upgrayedd 5743

Posted
Posted

Oh boy.  The storm clouds of a fight are brewing.

The Avatar is on some natural food kick for the dogs.  Bought some shit that comes in individual packets and needs to be frozen after x number of days.  Ok.  That’s her gig.  Go for it.

My dog is on meds for a mast tumor issue (pretty much under control); however, she does get meds twice a day.  The preferred delivery method is wrapped in lunch meat.  The packaged stuff.  Same that I throw on my sandwich.

So I am on my way to the store this morning and ask the Avatar if she needs anything.

A:  We need lunch meat.

M: What happened to all the turkey from the deli counter?

A:  Used it for pills.

M: Well if I am getting lunch meat for dogs, I’m getting the cheap budding stuff.

A: No.  It has to be free range no hormones no additives grass fed (insert whatever additional criteria here)

M:  ???? Just so I understand.  You want me to buy premium lunch meat for the dogs?

A:  Fine.  I’ll do it myself.

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