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  • 9 months later...
  • 1 year later...
Posted

He just always has to be the little cunt in the room.  

Look around the world Briscoe, in almost every corner of our globe---there are demonstrations of support, solidarity, and strength with Ukraine.  When a sitting U.S. Senator sends that out, he's saying, "We, the Government of the United States are with you, Ukraine."  You don't run in the room and shout, "Nope, I'm a Texan."  You just let the statement permeate through the air and let it have its intended effect.  
 

$50 says he's the asshole at the birthday party's of his kids' friends shouting how the magician is doing his tricks.  

Magician: "Why sir, there's no misdirection...it's simply MAGIC!" 

Briscoe: "No, it's a false bottom hat and there was another rabbit in there the whole time!"

Parent: "Would you shut the fuck up?  These are 5 year olds!" 

Posted
He just always has to be the little cunt in the room.  
Look around the world Briscoe, in almost every corner of our globe---there are demonstrations of support, solidarity, and strength with Ukraine.  When a sitting U.S. Senator sends that out, he's saying, "We, the Government of the United States are with you, Ukraine."  You don't run in the room and shout, "Nope, I'm a Texan."  You just let the statement permeate through the air and let it have its intended effect.  
 
$50 says he's the asshole at the birthday party's of his kids' friends shouting how the magician is doing his tricks.  
Magician: "Why sir, there's no misdirection...it's simply MAGIC!" 
Briscoe: "No, it's a false bottom hat and there was another rabbit in there the whole time!"
Parent: "Would you shut the fuck up?  These are 5 year olds!" 

Illusions, Michael.
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Posted

^
good call, tricks are what Briscoe does for cash at truck stops.  

Posted
6 minutes ago, tx 3 putt said:

 

i'll bet he does them for free 

There’s always money in the Briscoe stand

  • 3 years later...
Posted

Mattress Mack coming to speak to either my 4th or 5th grade class about D.A.R.E. while wound up like the energizer bunny of cocaine became way more ironic later in life when I realized what was going on

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Posted
11 hours ago, BrickHorn said:

Mattress Mack spoke to my fifth grade class to warn us against the dangers of drugs. Which surely contributed to my abstinence from drugs until late in life, when I finally figured out how awesome drugs are and was like “I can’t believe that dollars-tossing clown in a bed suit talked me out of doing this awesome shit for so long.”

So yeah, fuck that guy. He contributed to all the wasted years of sobriety, productivity, and clear-headedness I endured in my youth. 

Question Mark What GIF by MOODMAN

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Posted
13 hours ago, tx 3 putt said:

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

 

When you look at Briscoe Cain and think your winning strategy is to be an even bigger cunt.

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Posted
44 minutes ago, royiv said:

When you look at Briscoe Cain and think your winning strategy is to be an even bigger cunt.

Thought this was a random charlie strong rift leading off

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Posted
20 hours ago, chainsaw said:

Not enough people hate Mattress Mack, and people who hate Mattress Mack don't hate him enough

my sister and I boo him every time his sandpaper-ass voice comes on godzillatron

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Posted
8 hours ago, royiv said:

When you look at Briscoe Cain and think your winning strategy is to be an even bigger cunt.

When you live in Texas, and that strategy is probably a good one....

....yeah.

Posted
2 minutes ago, Macanudo said:

3:2 odds that he has a subscription to Bear and Cubs.

I'm not going to google that, but I'll just assume that Briscoe is a "cub."

 

Posted (edited)

That mustache manages to make him look like an even bigger fuckwad.   He gives creeps the heebie jeebies.

Edited by kevwun
Posted
8 hours ago, Ted Lange said:

From this 

image.jpeg.022c7538d2d5293c23e2ae806e8ef113.jpeg

 

to 

image.jpeg.be25c0256f482d0d64aee22ed37dd1e9.jpeg

 

fucking weirdo.    But maybe we are just an insane echo chamber….

Second pic is a known Latvian porn star of the short variety 

Posted
8 hours ago, Ted Lange said:

From this 

image.jpeg.022c7538d2d5293c23e2ae806e8ef113.jpeg

 

to 

image.jpeg.be25c0256f482d0d64aee22ed37dd1e9.jpeg

 

fucking weirdo.    But maybe we are just an insane echo chamber….

Like a Coen brothers character bad at pulling off disguises but who nevertheless continues trying new ones. 

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