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Trivial things that make you surly


elfenix

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Taking a friend to the Austin airport this morning. It's 5:30 a.m. The same lights that take six minutes in rush hour traffic to make one full cycle take six minutes at 5:30 a.m., despite the fact that each light could be only 10 seconds because there are either no cars there or only one.  Sitting there waiting and waiting and waiting, burning fuel, insulting the planet, watching my one, little, GRANTED life ebb away just because I'm a law-abiding citizen.

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6 minutes ago, Hornius Emeritus said:

Taking a friend to the Austin airport this morning. It's 5:30 a.m. The same lights that take six minutes in rush hour traffic to make one full cycle take six minutes at 5:30 a.m., despite the fact that each light could be only 10 seconds because there are either no cars there or only one.  Sitting there waiting and waiting and waiting, burning fuel, insulting the planet, watching my one, little, GRANTED life ebb away just because I'm a law-abiding citizen.

I’d always get so mad when the cops would randomly close the entire 183 ramp system at about that time of morning and you’d have to find some way around. things got a lot better once they finally fixed those bridges

Edited by YuppiesOfftheEastSide
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I offered to brine and smoke the turkey this year at the in laws.  They said it was too much work.  But I repeat “I’ll do all the work.”  Plus gives me time alone.  They insist no brine, no dry rub (too spicy), just broil:bake whatever the fuck.  They love meat, but once again a bland, flavorless bird that chews like a rubber band.  They’ll dump a quart of salt onto it before serving and pretend like we’re all on a carriage ride to flavor country.  

Counterpoint: fuck em. At least brine the bird and make it edible. They’ll never know, because they have the palate of Minnesotans with their tongues removed, but you will. And at this point in life, it’s all about you.
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19 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

I brined it in secret.  Gonna let them dry rub it to their liking.  Which means six gallons of salt. But bird is looking good.  Gonna glaze it with bourbon syrup afterwards for color.  At least I talk em outta chicken fried steak using the ny strips. 

Just baste it with Dorothy Lynch. They’ll love you forever. 

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11 minutes ago, Sandman said:

Why the fuck did I just eat powdered sugar donuts while wearing a black shirt? 

I once made the mistake of getting some coffee and beignets to go from Cafe Du Monde as I left NOLA for my drive back to Houston. 

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Why does the local TV network seemingly feel obligated to put their shit on the screen when a big game is on.  Without fail. 

Storms could be 100 miles from the general viewing area, we had one in September baseball games from fucking Tucumcari, NM; but nah, every 5 minutes...beep.beep.beep.fucking beep the whole fucking game. "  Alert:  It's fucking November and it's freezing outside."  " Hey dumbasses trapped in a basement or a casino...hey motherfuckers, it's cold outside.  Nobody is in danger.  Literally nothing is threatened by this little weather system, and anyone with a gotdam window can see it is overcast and chilly."

The beep,beep, beep is annoying and the map on the screen is unnecessary.  Fuck these putos.

weather2.jpg

Edited by slorch
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On 11/21/2023 at 8:24 AM, PvilleStang said:

People are using your email address as a burner.  The dots in gmail are ignored.  Another really fun one: dicksmallz+IsADoucher@gmail.com will ALSO deliver to you.  Anything after the + is ignored.  So you can use your email and add a tag, e.g. DickSmallz+surly@gmail.com to register for sites and filter accordingly.

 

I've got the same problem with some asshat in Wisconsin that has been using my email address to register for everything.  Dumb ass even registered for Tax Slayer using my email address.  I went and reset his password, changed the 2FA phone device, and locked him out.  I've now got his address and SSN, among other things, after he's been doing this crap for 5 years now.  He's adopted a dog under my email, sent his kid to school and registered him under my email (took everything I had not to reply back to them and tell the school to unenroll him).  And somehow, his phone number is always delisted when I try to call him to tell him to stop.

Start sending increasingly bold messages coming on to the school secretary. 

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On 11/25/2023 at 1:01 PM, slorch said:

Why does the local TV network seemingly feel obligated to put their shit on the screen when a big game is on.  Without fail. 

Storms could be 100 miles from the general viewing area, we had one in September baseball games from fucking Tucumcari, NM; but nah, every 5 minutes...beep.beep.beep.fucking beep the whole fucking game. "  Alert:  It's fucking November and it's freezing outside."  " Hey dumbasses trapped in a basement or a casino...hey motherfuckers, it's cold outside.  Nobody is in danger.  Literally nothing is threatened by this little weather system, and anyone with a gotdam window can see it is overcast and chilly."

The beep,beep, beep is annoying and the map on the screen is unnecessary.  Fuck these putos.

weather2.jpg

I am with you on this.  I guess the local channels are trying to cause some sort of hysteria to benefit their viewership.  It's gotten significantly worse in the last few years.....If the escalation continues, the gov/t may need to get involved.  It won't be much different than yelling "Fire" in a crowded movie theater at some point.

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I once made the mistake of getting some coffee and beignets to go from Cafe Du Monde as I left NOLA for my drive back to Houston. 

9941d296887900e7423e21ca5fb33dfc.jpg
Feel free to laugh at me but I keep these bad boys in my truck and the wife’s SUV. As a man that can stain his shirt drinking a glass of water these have come in handy.
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54 minutes ago, GoPokes83 said:


9941d296887900e7423e21ca5fb33dfc.jpg
Feel free to laugh at me but I keep these bad boys in my truck and the wife’s SUV. As a man that can stain his shirt drinking a glass of water these have come in handy.

I can't imagine that you're unaware, but you should probably buy a half dozen Tide To Go pens and keep them handy.

In addition to saving your shirts, they can also occasionally earn you a tremendous debt of gratitude from clients and others in a work setting. Keeping one in my briefcase/rollerbag has proven indispensable on countless occasions...

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On 11/22/2023 at 12:29 PM, Jameslaw121 said:

There is a grandma who comes over and watches her grandkids a few days a week and parks her really nice f-150 in front of my house on the curb. I really don't care, but every Sunday, I have to go over there and tell her that I'm about to mow my lawn so she might want to move her truck. She's like 70, so I'm not about to be rude to her or anything. But, it has been like 5 years of about 35 Sundays an year. And there is room in front of there house.......

 

On 11/22/2023 at 1:43 PM, Prepuce of Doom said:

You've given her ample notice. If she still lacks the requisite pattern detection skills at this stage of the game and at her age, she's never going to learn, so let 'er rip. 

 

Yah, if she's so senile she can't remember to move it on Sunday, she shouldn't be driving, especially a F150.

 

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2 hours ago, PvilleStang said:

FIFY

How can you EVER call that a mistake, unless you're talking about the coffee?

Oh, the beignets weren’t the mistake. Getting them to go was the mistake. After I finished eating them I and my car looked like Pacino in Scarface as we hurtled west on I-10. 
scar-face-tony-montana.gif

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13 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

Asshole creepy neighbors that lurk in the bushes taking pictures of my house at night so I have to keep the lights on to deter them.

Use some discretion, asshole, and I won’t be looking at your wife that never, ever takes her pants off no matter how long I look!

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I'm with you on that.  I have mine on a timer to shut off at 10pm, but I've got neighbors on the side and across the street that have lights on all night that shine right into the windows, and it drives me NUTS.  And our HOA has a policy against leaving lights on like that, but only bothers to police if your trash cans have been at your curb longer than 24 hours.

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Anytime I stop on the SEC Network during my channel surfing, there's a good chance I'll hear this narrator's cringy, ridiculously overdone, for pretend "Southern" drawl.  Something about it makes me want to take a flamethrower to my television...

And it's too bad, because it's a well done and interesting production.  It's funny, because when he interviews people in the show he drops that stupid accent.

Edited by Cajun
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Got the car inspected the other day. Dude tells me my gas cap won't attach to the test machine, and so sells me a new one, AutoZone brand. Fine. Next commute the check engine light comes on. I pull the code and Google it - evap. Usual cause - gas cap issue. Look up the new cap part number on AutoZone - does not fit my car.

Had no idea those things weren't universal.

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On 11/29/2023 at 8:39 AM, Hornius Emeritus said:

You mow your yard 35 times a year? I don't think I mowed mine 35 times in the last 10 years.

 

I have literally never mowed my "yard", which is basically a fenced in cow pasture. Between the dogs and drought (and yes, neglect), there is nothing to mow.

I do have to occasionally weed eat around the trees that I water to keep from dying.

 

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Guy antagonizes Tyson on a plane. Tyson gets fed up and does what Tyson does. Guy now demands $450,000.
FAFO. 
 

As Mike Tyson punches go those were like petting a baby kitten. I say give him the option of getting the 425k for that 4 second FO, but Iron Mike gets to deliver a few real shots for that same amount of time when he hands over the check.
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28 minutes ago, GoPokes83 said:


As Mike Tyson punches go those were like petting a baby kitten. I say give him the option of getting the 425k for that 4 second FO, but Iron Mike gets to deliver a few real shots for that same amount of time when he hands over the check.

One shot. That’s all it would take. 
mike-tyson-uppercut.gif

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On 11/26/2023 at 10:23 AM, Prepuce of Doom said:

Start sending increasingly bold messages coming on to the school secretary. 

change his street address and order a brand new iphone on his tmobile account

put on black hoodie and video yourself taking the box off your own porch on your ring doorbell

show video to authorities also stating that you are victim of identity theft 

????

profit. 

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1 hour ago, beer said:

change his street address and order a brand new iphone on his tmobile account

put on black hoodie and video yourself taking the box off your own porch on your ring doorbell

show video to authorities also stating that you are victim of identity theft 

????

profit. 

Would pull that one if he didn't live half way across the country.  I'm in Texas, he's in Wisconsin...

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Why do I have to "confirm" every fucking thing I'm doing these days? I make a Drs appointment, they text me to confirm like 2-3 days before I'm supposed to be there. What if I have something come up the night before? I made a reservation at top golf last night, going there on saturday. I just got an email to confirm. well, no shit I plan on being there. I paid a fucking deposit. Why are these places so fucking desperate to "confirm"? 

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25 minutes ago, Sandman said:

Why do I have to "confirm" every fucking thing I'm doing these days? I make a Drs appointment, they text me to confirm like 2-3 days before I'm supposed to be there. What if I have something come up the night before? I made a reservation at top golf last night, going there on saturday. I just got an email to confirm. well, no shit I plan on being there. I paid a fucking deposit. Why are these places so fucking desperate to "confirm"? 

They want to confirm they have enough seating for you to wait in the lobby 15 minutes past your appointment time while the doc is hitting on his new nurse in his office.

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1 hour ago, Sandman said:

Why do I have to "confirm" every fucking thing I'm doing these days? I make a Drs appointment, they text me to confirm like 2-3 days before I'm supposed to be there. What if I have something come up the night before? I made a reservation at top golf last night, going there on saturday. I just got an email to confirm. well, no shit I plan on being there. I paid a fucking deposit. Why are these places so fucking desperate to "confirm"? 

Enraging. They want to pester us incessantly about shit ahead of time, then they should be ready when we arrive on time. 

I just swapped out my summer tires and wheels for my winters, and I got like three emails and five texts from Discount Tire to confirm my appointment over the span of four days, and the fucking assholes still had me waiting for almost an hour and a half past my appointment time before they actually got to work, and then they fucked up the hub rings, so I had to wait another 15 minutes after they first "finished" the job. It turned into an almost two hour timesuck, and the sumbitches have the gall to talk up how booking appointments online saves time. 

Don't sell me the fucking tires if you're going to waste my time completing the services I paid a premium for down the line. 

Pretty salty that those buttdicks have bought out Tire Rack, so now they have even less incentive not to suck. 

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1 hour ago, PvilleStang said:

They want to confirm they have enough seating for you to wait in the lobby 15 minutes past your appointment time while the doc is hitting on his new nurse in his office.

Or the nurses are too busy taking selfies in exam rooms in between patients...  See the T&A threads in IPIHB Forum. 

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3 hours ago, Sandman said:

Why do I have to "confirm" every fucking thing I'm doing these days? I make a Drs appointment, they text me to confirm like 2-3 days before I'm supposed to be there. What if I have something come up the night before? I made a reservation at top golf last night, going there on saturday. I just got an email to confirm. well, no shit I plan on being there. I paid a fucking deposit. Why are these places so fucking desperate to "confirm"? 

Probably not the answer you're looking for but I work in healthcare IT and work with radiology and cardio imaging, and we found that if we didn't do confirmations a few days prior to appointments our no-show rate was insane.  I'm talking 50% or greater.  It played hell with staffing, revenue, and satisfaction numbers.  Once we implemented a program to reach out by phone or electronically our no show rates dropped below 10%.  So, in short, it's because if we don't remind people they don't show up and have to be rescheduled and the clinical staff sits around getting paid to do nothing half the day.

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