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Trivial things that make you surly


elfenix

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9 minutes ago, smuggs said:

 

So let me get this straight - the only location you urinate in public is the same location where you immediately begin to touch produce and other food items for sale after handling your flaccid genitals without washing your hands afterwards?

What the fuck?

 

I hit the bathroom right before checkout usually so it makes no difference.

Besides the basket you are pushing probably has more germs than my junk anyway so what is the difference.

 

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Just now, Steamboat1874 said:

I will never understand people that want something so fucking hot that as soon as you take the first bite your mouth and tongue are on fire and numb and you can barely taste anything after that.

I like a little spicy but fuck that blazing bullshit.

If you can’t handle the heat, stay out of the kitchen. The hottest sauce I’ve ever had was the “thermonuclear” sauce on Johnson’s ribs out of Norfolk, VA. It was scorching hot but it tasted AWESOME. They’ve since changed it and it’s not as hot anymore and I stopped buying them. But they’ve been a fixture at the local Jazz & Rib Fest for years (and the rib circuit in general) and while their sauce was really hot I had them 2-3 times every year. Sometimes I bought extras to take home. It was a borderline religious experience. Ironically, when they weakened their sauce I started trying more ribs from other vendors.

I’ve never experienced my mouth going numb from anything hot and spicy. I’ve seen people on this board describe that happening when they eat jalapeños. Maybe you have more delicate constitutions. But when it came to Johnson’s thermonuclear sauce, as long as you kept eating the ribs, it didn’t get that bad. Oh, sure, it made your neck sweat and your nose run and you had to get extra napkins. But it tasted GREAT. It’s when you were finished that the heat really set in. But the thing is, it’s a phantom pain. It’s a chemical response. You’re not actually causing any cellular damage. So you just endure it. Study it. Maybe even enjoy it.

And then the endorphins kick in and you get a natural high that lasts for maybe 20-30 minutes. Probably closer to 20. But it’s awesome. And you’re sitting under a tree on a nice summer day and listening to live jazz and everything seems pretty good. And those ribs tasted fantastic. That’s the most important thing. I’ve never had any other food that was a more perfect marriage between super-tasty and super-hot. And it kills me that they changed that sauce. 

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Just now, WhatTheBuck said:

If you can’t handle the heat, stay out of the kitchen. The hottest sauce I’ve ever had was the “thermonuclear” sauce on Johnson’s ribs out of Norfolk, VA. It was scorching hot but it tasted AWESOME. They’ve since changed it and it’s not as hot anymore and I stopped buying them. But they’ve been a fixture at the local Jazz & Rib Fest for years (and the rib circuit in general) and while their sauce was really hot I had them 2-3 times every year. Sometimes I bought extras to take home. It was a borderline religious experience. Ironically, when they weakened their sauce I started trying more ribs from other vendors.

I’ve never experienced my mouth going numb from anything hot and spicy. I’ve seen people on this board describe that happening when they eat jalapeños. Maybe you have more delicate constitutions. But when it came to Johnson’s thermonuclear sauce, as long as you kept eating the ribs, it didn’t get that bad. Oh, sure, it made your neck sweat and your nose run and you had to get extra napkins. But it tasted GREAT. It’s when you were finished that the heat really set in. But the thing is, it’s a phantom pain. It’s a chemical response. You’re not actually causing any cellular damage. So you just endure it. Study it. Maybe even enjoy it.

And then the endorphins kick in and you get a natural high that lasts for maybe 20-30 minutes. Probably closer to 20. But it’s awesome. And you’re sitting under a tree on a nice summer day and listening to live jazz and everything seems pretty good. And those ribs tasted fantastic. That’s the most important thing. I’ve never had any other food that was a more perfect marriage between super-tasty and super-hot. And it kills me that they changed that sauce. 

There are plenty of very tasty sauces that are not "blazing" hot.

Like I said I like some spice but not habernero type hot.

My mom could eat raw jalepenos all day long while my dad could not stand anything that hot. Guess I got his genes.

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3 minutes ago, Steamboat1874 said:

There are plenty of very tasty sauces that are not "blazing" hot.

Like I said I like some spice but not habernero type hot.

My mom could eat raw jalepenos all day long while my dad could not stand anything that hot. Guess I got his genes.

Sure, there are tasty “hot” sauces that aren’t that hot. I like to put some green Tabasco in my New England clam chowder. I have Louisiana and Crystal and Tapatio on hand as well as others that are even hotter. I can eat raw habaneros and I don’t think they’re that hot. That’s basically my lower limit of what I consider to be hot, to give me a little sting. I love them. They taste great. I’ll slice them raw and put them on a burger.

I don’t know how Johnson’s made their thermonuclear sauce. Maybe chocolate habaneros? Ever had those? I’ve grown them. How about a white raisin habanero? Those are really hot. I’ve grown them too but they’re so small and harvesting them is a bitch. 

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9 minutes ago, Steamboat1874 said:

I hit the bathroom right before checkout usually so it makes no difference.

Besides the basket you are pushing probably has more germs than my junk anyway so what is the difference.

 

Whew, thanks. Good to know you "usually" haven't handled foodstuffs for sale with your unwashed hands directly after manipulating your penis for means of urination.

There's definitely nothing wrong with you. Carry on.

 

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Booking a hotel on Priceline for one of your wife’s cousin’s wedding and when you check in you discover that you have involuntarily signed up for a multi-day time share presentation.  MFer, I’m here for a wedding, I’m not particularly impressed with your little Jersey Shore knockoff community, don’t plan on ever returning,  but by all means keep pitching me on the merits of having a shitty hotel room for one week a year.

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3 hours ago, Steamboat1874 said:

There are plenty of very tasty sauces that are not "blazing" hot.

Like I said I like some spice but not habernero type hot.

My mom could eat raw jalepenos all day long while my dad could not stand anything that hot. Guess I got his genes.

Never got the let me eat something that burns skin from my mouth, and tastes like hot lava. I love spicy food, but a little heat goes a long way for me.

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This happened the other day.  FYI, I've never taken a side on masks/vaccines.  I wore a mask when I was told; got a vaccine when I became eligible.  Never gave a shit either way on the debate.

That being said, the other day at school, our counselor went on a rant about how she wasn't getting a vaccine because her ex-husband sent her a video of him getting a vaccine.  In the video, he claimed that the vaccine was full of lead and he put a magnet to his arm to prove it.  I, again, pretty much stay out of any arguments outside of sports, but I had to call b.s.  Convo went something like this...

Me: Yeah.  I don't think that's right.

Her: It is.  I saw the video.

Me: Lead is poisonous to humans.  I don't believe they'd put lead in a shot.   

Her: Then how do you explain the magnet?

Me: Well, considering a magnet is not attracted to lead, you got me.  (She didn't get the joke and actually thought I was agreeing with her.)

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1 hour ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

Never got the let me eat something that burns skin from my mouth, and tastes like hot lava. I love spicy food, but a little heat goes a long way for me.

Agree.  Spicy and flavorful is great, but why would you want something that causes physical discomfort?

That said, Buck you need to try "Dave's Insanity Sauce".   It ruins food it is so hot.  You will love it.

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3 hours ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

This happened the other day.  FYI, I've never taken a side on masks/vaccines.  I wore a mask when I was told; got a vaccine when I became eligible.  Never gave a shit either way on the debate.

That being said, the other day at school, our counselor went on a rant about how she wasn't getting a vaccine because her ex-husband sent her a video of him getting a vaccine.  In the video, he claimed that the vaccine was full of lead and he put a magnet to his arm to prove it.  I, again, pretty much stay out of any arguments outside of sports, but I had to call b.s.  Convo went something like this...

Me: Yeah.  I don't think that's right.

Her: It is.  I saw the video.

Me: Lead is poisonous to humans.  I don't believe they'd put lead in a shot.   

Her: Then how do you explain the magnet?

Me: Well, considering a magnet is not attracted to lead, you got me.  (She didn't get the joke and actually thought I was agreeing with her.)

So....the dude brought a magnet with him to his doctor's appointment???

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Cable/ internet going out at 4pm on a Friday.

Get it fucking fixed you Ercot wannabe motherfuckers.  It’s not like you need the wind to blow or the sun to shine.  For what we pay, it should never go out.

Edited by slorch
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People that don't leash their dogs outside of a designated dog-park setting.

We had words with a family last weekend at the lake about this. I don’t particularly care much but the in laws do as they aren’t dog fans. MIL thinks all dogs bite and eat small children.

Neighbor’s dog across the way kept coming over to our kitchen area over the last few weekends and my FIL had enough.

There is a leash law in each lease you sign and my FIL reminded them of it.

We’ll see if they pooped in our kitchen next weekend.
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On 6/17/2021 at 10:13 PM, slorch said:

Trivia on radio this morning said men wear their underwear on an average of 3 times before washing them.

 

Fuck no.  I basically wear 2 pair a day.  1 for work and another one for evening.  New pair to start the next day.

 

Nasty fucks.

OCD and autism are both very treatable with intense therapy

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23 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I don’t want to look at your nasty ass feet while I’m waiting to board my flight to Omaha 

 

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You should re-examine your life choices that have you boarding a flight to Omaha

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1 minute ago, beer said:

OCD and autism are both very treatable with intense therapy

Ever lived in Houston...? Louisiana?

Sweaty drawers suck. I didn't do the mid-day change until we lived down there.

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On 6/16/2021 at 4:55 PM, Vic Mackey said:

These sensor based sink faucets and hand dryers. Fuck off with that shit.

Faucets that are too short for their sinks so you have to rub your hands against the sink to rinse your hands.

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On 6/18/2021 at 2:20 PM, ABSR said:

Agree.  Spicy and flavorful is great, but why would you want something that causes physical discomfort?

That said, Buck you need to try "Dave's Insanity Sauce".   It ruins food it is so hot.  You will love it.

I’ve had it. I’ve also had Dave’s Ghost Pepper Sauce. My dad gave me a bottle. He knew I like hot sauce, went to a hot sauce store, asked for their hottest sauce, and that’s what they sold him. He didn’t put anymore thought into it than that.

It wasn’t bad but it wasn’t awesome or anything. I consumed the whole bottle, though. It was definitely better than the Marie Sharp’s extra hot sauce that I threw away. I’m no champion of Pace Picante Sauce. I think it’s kind of ketchupy (is that a word?) But they made a mango habanero salsa that wasn’t hot at all but if you added some of that ghost pepper sauce to it, it was pretty good.

Oh, also, Dave’s Insanity Sauce isn’t as hot as you think it is. 

Edited by WhatTheBuck
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Thanks for cleaning the mud and rocks off your tractor and box blade before you trailered it and got on the highway.  
 
Everyone behind you is so pleased. 
83B0D0A1-8D48-4734-8AED-30AE4BF98CB4.thumb.jpeg.89a836dfab40e46acda4fa799817399b.jpeg

Meh, I take my tractor to the lease twice a year and although not that bad, I have mud all over it. Change lanes and stop tailgating.
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6 hours ago, markstanco said:


Meh, I take my tractor to the lease twice a year and although not that bad, I have mud all over it. Change lanes and stop tailgating.

Not tailgating.  Used edit zoom feature.  
 

Mud and rocks flying off open trailer beds is not cool.   Don’t be lazy and inconsiderate.  

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1 minute ago, DigglerontheHoof said:

It's a street bike, you twatwaffle.

My comment was deliberate, yet uninformed.

I was thinking of farm to farm tractor driving, not the tractor on a trailer scenario.  The open bed trailer with rocks and mud is legit fucked up.

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Expand to any janky ass towing situation that’s not on a lightly traveled FM or county road.

Some dipshit was traveling through town today at about 8 mph with one delivery van just tied to another. Dude in the the nonoperable van was working the brakes  and steering. EABOD. Cops should immediately impound that vehicle till you pay for an actual tow truck to come get your shit. 

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2 hours ago, deadshank said:

Not tailgating.  Used edit zoom feature.  
 

Mud and rocks flying off open trailer beds is not cool.   Don’t be lazy and inconsiderate.  

I do my best in those situations.  Put the tractor in high gear and haul ass on the dirt road to sling a lot off.  Loose rocks?  Nope, that is an insurance claim waiting to happen (not securing your load).

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My current windshield is 2 years old. It had 9 "bullet holes" and 3 cracks across the glass.   Inspection is up in August... guess I'd might as well go pay the man.

 

i don't live in Beirut.

Edited by slorch
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18 hours ago, 956 Worldwide said:

Expand to any janky ass towing situation that’s not on a lightly traveled FM or county road.

Some dipshit was traveling through town today at about 8 mph with one delivery van just tied to another. Dude in the the nonoperable van was working the brakes  and steering. EABOD. Cops should immediately impound that vehicle till you pay for an actual tow truck to come get your shit. 

Guilty, I've gotten cars home this way a couple times. But it was a few miles at most and I waited until late night to minimize other traffic.

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