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6figs/"Trust the Hamm" greatest hits


Machinator

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2 minutes ago, NorLa Horns said:

so people dont come up to you and use written form abbreviations to you in person? no etc.? appt.? dept.?

thats fucking amazing. boggles the mind

First off, it’s bottles the mind

Second off “Natty” isn’t a abbreviation, it’s slang and yes the way it’s written is how people would say it.

But you wanted a ruling and I gave you one.  Mule Dick.

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10 hours ago, NorLa Horns said:

so people dont come up to you and use written form abbreviations to you in person? no etc.? appt.? dept.?

thats fucking amazing. boggles the mind

You seem to have chosen an odd hill to die on, but I suppose we should all just be grateful you don't try to pronounce it "aaaaewqy#@$!÷=/ddffgggyyy!35:&9."

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7 minutes ago, texifornia said:

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Oh dear, it seems someone has left an envelope of cash in each of your seats. I think that is a per diem provided by the fine people of the texum bulldog network. What? it is $9,999 exactly? Strange, there must be some sort of accounting error. Just keep it for now and we will get back to you. 

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Who is this guy working for now?

Sells real estate, but not enough to feed the children after Mrs. Hamm moved on. Platinum Pools...oh wait they fired him. He has a Faebook group that has propelled him to unlimited wealth. What’s up Hammster...You know you are on Surly stalking.

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correct me if I am wrong, but didnt Hamm have a side gig where he paid for recruits commitment videos to made & edited?

all he asked for in return was first crack at announcing their commitment?  oh yeah, and every single recruit who used his "free"  service managed to commit to aggy

 

 

if so, I am pretty sure thats how Hamm got this "scoop" that he can post.....

 

Edited by AUS-97HORN
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This shit is fascinating. In one page we get the bag hag admitting to providing violation worthy impermissible benefits to football recruits, while Hamm, who works for nobody, is basically a freelance recruiting stalker now who might also be a providing impermissible benefits via his iMovie skilz.  

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6 hours ago, AUS-97HORN said:

correct me if I am wrong, but didnt Hamm have a side gig where he paid for recruits commitment videos to made & edited?

all he asked for in return was first crack at announcing their commitment?  oh yeah, and every single recruit who used his "free"  service managed to commit to aggy

 

 

if so, I am pretty sure thats how Hamm got this "scoop" that he can post.....

 

Pretty sure the only commitment video that Hamm did was for the QB that eventually ended up at Arizona (Grant Gunnell Effect) - that video was so bad that I'm fairly certain it ended Hamm's video editing career before it had a chance to get started.

Edited by Hiphopopotamos
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24 minutes ago, Hiphopopotamos said:

Pretty sure the only commitment video that Hamm did was for the QB that eventually ended up at Arizona (Grant Gunnell Effect) - that video was so bad that I'm fairly certain it ended Hamm's video editing career before it had a chance to get started.

Oh that was incredible, we have to dig it out somewhere. He also did Jalen Preston's I think.

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Hamm is a retard, and I'm not going to pretend to be able to accurately crawl inside the mind of that fucktard and understand his behavior. But if I were that guy, and I'd been somewhat successful staying out of the public eye for a few months to, conceivably, get my life back together, it seems odd that he'd poke is head out now to randomly just deliver an announcement date. It seems even less likely that he would do so if he knew that the decision was going to be Texas. He'd just stay under his fucking rock. 

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I think he's done everything he could, used every last bit of willpower, to keep his 'head down' these last few months and he just couldn't do it any longer.  As soon as he had that little bit of information he thought he could be first with - he posted it.  He just couldn't help himself.  Making an ass of himself is his nature - he could only fight that for so long.

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14 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

Hamm is a retard, and I'm not going to pretend to be able to accurately crawl inside the mind of that fucktard and understand his behavior. But if I were that guy, and I'd been somewhat successful staying out of the public eye for a few months to, conceivably, get my life back together, it seems odd that he'd poke is head out now to randomly just deliver an announcement date. It seems even less likely that he would do so if he knew that the decision was going to be Texas. He'd just stay under his fucking rock. 

I agree with this, he wouldn't do this if VB were going to UT.  Actually yeah he would.. he still wants to deliver news quicker than 247 or Texags.. I would expect him to tweet out a smirk of some sort within the next day, because he needs to break the news before VB can do it himself..it's why he's the best in the business.

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1 hour ago, Neonmoon said:

This isn’t rocket science. FWK trains Broughton. FWK is the only friend Hamm has left because Hamm gave him publicity first. FWK still talks to Hamm and gives him inside information. Broughton told FWK he’s picking Aggy on July 15. FWK told Hamm 

Feels like Hamm would be pumping a ton more fanfare if he actually knew it was gonna be aggy. I'm sure he got the video news from FWK, but FWK might legitimately not know VB's decision yet.

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3 hours ago, gordogg24p said:

Feels like Hamm would be pumping a ton more fanfare if he actually knew it was gonna be aggy. I'm sure he got the video news from FWK, but FWK might legitimately not know VB's decision yet.

If Hamm interjected himself into this and put this out there without VB picking Aggy, he might be the dumbest Aggy in the world. 

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6 minutes ago, Chopper said:

An adult would have to be a real fucktard to lose a job as a pool boy. I can't imagine trusting such a person with anything. But aggy loves sunshine pumpers.

Well that was indirectly surly's fault after his company Christmas video with him doing the gig em in every picture leaked and racked up thousands of gloating views. Of course, the shit that came up after the head of the company Googled him off of that experience was all him.

Edited by texifornia
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