Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Posted
On 2/7/2025 at 12:46 PM, CooterBrown said:

The first Avengers movie always gets me during the battle of NYC when she turns to run away and runs like a completely unathletic fat chick.  It's hilarious but still hot.

I would still prefer it if it was Jessica Bryce Dallas Howard Chastain on the screen.

Happy Hour Drinking GIF by Saturday Night Live

  • Hook 'Em 2
Posted
1 hour ago, BabaYaga said:

I was so bummed when it came out that velociraptors are estimated to be more the size of a turkey and covered in feathers

turkey?  are there not fossils of JP-sized raptors?  I have not kept up with paleontology. 

Posted
On 2/11/2025 at 9:46 AM, futureman said:

that's a cool cartoon but I had thought they had actual fossil evidence of bigger raptors.  they don't?

Much bigger raptors, just not named Velociraptor. Utahraptor, Dakotaraptor were both as big or bigger than the JP raptors. 

  • Hook 'Em 1
Posted
15 minutes ago, LTbear said:

Much bigger raptors, just not named Velociraptor. Utahraptor, Dakotaraptor were both as big or bigger than the JP raptors. 

I know youre totally making this up because those states didnt even exist when those dinosaurs were around 

  • Hook 'Em 2
  • Haha 4
  • Drool 1
Posted
On 2/11/2025 at 9:18 AM, BabaYaga said:

here-is-a-little-guide-i-made-for-unders

If I remember right, Utahraptor was actually discovered while they were filming the first JP or shortly after it came out, and some paleontologists joked that they'd found "Spieldberg's raptor."

spacer.png

  • Hook 'Em 3
Posted

Less turkey talk, more Scar Jo talk needed. 
 

Movie looks dumb as hell but I’ll probably see it anyway. 

  • 4 months later...
Posted

I have 3 boys. They begged to watch this. I took my wife, youngest daughter and 3 boys to see this one this evening.

I read both books in the 90’s and convinced a troop of my friends to go watch JP on opening day and it became loved. 

I hated the 2nd movie but have been easy on all of the other ones. 

This new one was terrific for what it was. If you don’t want to watch a Jurassic Park movie, don’t go. If you dig those, this one is just fine. 

Also, ScarJo is a fatty. She needed 6 more months of work before filming. It was unfortunate to see. 

Posted
8 hours ago, closetojumping said:

I have 3 boys. They begged to watch this. I took my wife, youngest daughter and 3 boys to see this one this evening.

I read both books in the 90’s and convinced a troop of my friends to go watch JP on opening day and it became loved. 

I hated the 2nd movie but have been easy on all of the other ones. 

This new one was terrific for what it was. If you don’t want to watch a Jurassic Park movie, don’t go. If you dig those, this one is just fine. 

Also, ScarJo is a fatty. She needed 6 more months of work before filming. It was unfortunate to see. 

Username checks out

Posted

Good movie. I'm there for the dinosaurs because I loved reading about them as a kid. Seeing them on screen is always cool. Really good movie to take your family to go see. I used to work at a place where Scarlett was a regular with her kids on the weekends. By all accounts she's really nice and I am glad to see her doing well. She was the star of my favorite movie ever in Jojo Rabbit. She's quite the cool actress.

  • Hook 'Em 2
Posted
36 minutes ago, GreenspointTexas said:

This was the worst movie ive seen in years lol. I was gonna take my kids, but no fucking way now. Thank god I streamed it

well I wasn’t sure before but now I’m definitely going to see it. 

  • Haha 1
Posted
1 hour ago, Drew said:

Good to hear it's a good JP flick...didn't expect it to match the original, nothing will...

Seeing saturday.

It’s not. It’s a fucking soulless monster movie with a trademarked Jurassic park logo on the movie poster. The worst one by a lot and I went in knowing it would not be good. 

Posted

This was probably the 2nd best after the original. Low bar, I know.

The first 20 minutes felt exactly like an early 90s Spielberg movie. Had all the same beats, cinematography, and music from the OG.  

As in all JP movies, the kids absolutely suck. No one deserved death more than Xavier and his girlfriend.

Other than the big bad mutant confrontation at the end, all the dino encounters were great.  

  • Hook 'Em 1
Posted
On 7/3/2025 at 3:29 PM, CooterBrown said:

This was probably the 2nd best after the original. Low bar, I know.

The first 20 minutes felt exactly like an early 90s Spielberg movie. Had all the same beats, cinematography, and music from the OG.  

As in all JP movies, the kids absolutely suck. No one deserved death more than Xavier and his girlfriend.

Other than the big bad mutant confrontation at the end, all the dino encounters were great.  

 

On 7/3/2025 at 2:28 PM, Texasborn91 said:

It’s not. It’s a fucking soulless monster movie with a trademarked Jurassic park logo on the movie poster. The worst one by a lot and I went in knowing it would not be good. 

These two takes is exactly why i'm cautiously optimistic.

The first JP will never be touched.

The 2nd was Decent. The first Jurassic World was okay. The rest were not good.  The 3rd Jurassic Park was the worst in the franchise an the 3rd Jurassic World was only made bearable by having Malcom and Saddler and Grant in it.

If it's closer to the first reboot or the 2nd JP movie it'll be good enough for me.

Posted
13 hours ago, Sawbonz said:

A domesticated Tom turkey is nothing to fuck with. A raptor that size would fuck you up

Shit.  A big Canadian goose or a swan can send you to the hospital.  Wing force of a baseball bat swung at full force.   I concur.  Especially when they hunt in packs.  Get o e on your back.   Game over. 

Posted
14 hours ago, EvilCaseMcCoy said:

Is this movie too scary for my 4 year old daughter?  She's seen the original and was fine, but that was at home.

Yes.

  • Hook 'Em 1
Posted
On 7/3/2025 at 3:29 PM, CooterBrown said:

This was probably the 2nd best after the original. Low bar, I know.

The first 20 minutes felt exactly like an early 90s Spielberg movie. Had all the same beats, cinematography, and music from the OG.  

As in all JP movies, the kids absolutely suck. No one deserved death more than Xavier and his girlfriend.

Other than the big bad mutant confrontation at the end, all the dino encounters were great.  

I agree with this take. It's not great and it's formulaic as can be, but it's action-packed and dino-laden which is perfect for a popcorn summer movie.

It's goofy with the George Lucas and Porg-esque baby dino who does nothing except is cute and probably a consultants idea for merch and revenue long tail (no pun intended) once the movie has completed it's run.

Numbers out over the 4 day weekend are very good (critics have not been as kind, but it's a commercial smash).

  • Hook 'Em 1
Posted
12 hours ago, Vegas64 said:

I agree with this take. It's not great and it's formulaic as can be, but it's action-packed and dino-laden which is perfect for a popcorn summer movie.

It's goofy with the George Lucas and Porg-esque baby dino who does nothing except is cute and probably a consultants idea for merch and revenue long tail (no pun intended) once the movie has completed it's run.

Numbers out over the 4 day weekend are very good (critics have not been as kind, but it's a commercial smash).

Yeah pretty much. I enjoyed it for what it was, and would say it's probably the 3rd most rewatchable of them all?

3 hours ago, Hellraiser97 said:

I'm still going to see it because I'm easily entertained, but I found this hilarious (especially since I watched the Matrix trilogy with my daughter over the weekend)

 

 

dwLbdQi.jpeg

This is hilarious.

Posted
On 7/2/2025 at 10:27 PM, closetojumping said:

Also, ScarJo is a fatty. She needed 6 more months of work before filming. It was unfortunate to see. 

ScarJo walking onto the set...

jurassic-park-water.gif.33f9bc213c0923b3387f0ded741762d2.gif

 

  • Haha 1
Posted

I’m gonna have to see it for “fat ScarJo” if nothing else.  I’m gonna predict the weight would be a non issue for me.  
 

It’s unfortunate that they cant seem to get a good script.  The premise is gold and you’re like half way there. 
 

As far as fighting swans or geese, maybe this sounds arrogant but I think I could handle 2-3 at a time.  First thing I’d do is take 2 swans and tie their necks together in a knot. Then it’s go time. 

Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, Red Five said:

Was the Mrs. Jost being chunky in this a real thing? Because either way I am intrigued.

 

1 hour ago, Lhorn said:

I’m gonna have to see it for “fat ScarJo” if nothing else.  I’m gonna predict the weight would be a non issue for me.  
 

It’s unfortunate that they cant seem to get a good script.  The premise is gold and you’re like half way there. 
 

As far as fighting swans or geese, maybe this sounds arrogant but I think I could handle 2-3 at a time.  First thing I’d do is take 2 swans and tie their necks together in a knot. Then it’s go time. 

I’ve long thought that ScarJo is one of the most beautiful women on the planet, so if I am biased, it’s in a positive direction for her. I say that and then I stand by my argument that she’s a fatty in this one. Mostly like a crossfit fatty. She’s muscular with a layer of blubber. Big arms, etc. 

This movie was like the opposite of Match Point for me in terms of ScarJo movies. In that movie, Woody Allen clearly had a crush on her behind the camera and it showed. That might be a top 10 “hottest a woman has ever been on screen” movie. This new JW is the worst she’s ever looked. The camera hated her. 

That said, I said as much to @HenryJames and @SydneyCarton and other friends in a text string and then a vengeful Sydney immediately started spamming the text string with pics of ScarJo lately looking hot and calling me a meanie. Look, I don’t read celebrity blogs, so I missed the latest pics of the lady. Still, no fat chicks for me. I love the ladies of all sorts and always have, but she’s trending towards “nope” in this flick. 

Edited by closetojumping
stupid fucking surly autocorrect.
Posted
3 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

 

I’ve long thought that ScarJo is one of the most beautiful women on the planet, so if I am biased, it’s in a positive direction for her. I say that and then I stand by my argument that she’s a fatty in this one. Mostly like a crossfit fatty. She’s muscular with a layer of blubber. Big arms, etc. 

This movie was like the opposite of March Point for me in terms of ScarJo movies. In that movie, Woody Allen clearly had a crush on her behind the camera and it showed. That might be a top 10 “hottest a woman has ever been on screen” movie. This new JW is the worst she’s ever looked. The camera hated her. 

That said, I said as much to @HenryJames and @SydneyCarton and other friends in a text string and then a vengeful Sydney immediately started spamming the text string with pics of ScarJo lately looking hot and calling me a meanie. Look, I don’t read celebrity blogs, so I missed the latest pics of the lady. Still, no fat chicks for me. I love the ladies of all sorts and always have, but she’s trending towards “nope” in this flick. 

I can't believe you brought this fucking take to the boards. I believe HJ's immediate response was "This take melted my phone." Appropos, imo.

I do love that you left out the context of me sending two pictures. It was that after you talking about how fat ScarJo was, you talked about how how you found and still find Bryce Dallas Howard and how much hotter she was in her Jurassic movie than ScarJo. Bryce. Dallas. Howard. 

Posted
7 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

I can't believe you brought this fucking take to the boards. I believe HJ's immediate response was "This take melted my phone." Appropos, imo.

I do love that you left out the context of me sending two pictures. It was that after you talking about how fat ScarJo was, you talked about how how you found and still find Bryce Dallas Howard and how much hotter she was in her Jurassic movie than ScarJo. Bryce. Dallas. Howard. 

Bryce Dallas Howard was hotter in each of JW movies than ScarJo in this one. That’s an objective fact. I didn’t realize she’d gotten fat in real life until you sent resentful pics of her lately. Again, I don’t read celebrity gossip blogs like you do. 

Maybe just watch the movies? I doubt this is something not being discussed by others out there. 

I’m not saying that ScarJo is done for, as the recent pics you sent show a still hot woman. I’m just saying when you’re watching this movie, you might find yourself wondering if you’d have to butter her hips to get her through the bedroom door after luring her from the bar with a trail of Hershey’s Kisses and the promise of a large DQ Snickers Blizzard waiting for her when she got there. 

  • Haha 1
Posted (edited)
7 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

Bryce Dallas Howard was hotter in each of JW movies than ScarJo in this one. That’s an objective fact. I didn’t realize she’d gotten fat in real life until you sent resentful pics of her lately. Again, I don’t read celebrity gossip blogs like you do. 

Maybe just watch the movies? I doubt this is something not being discussed by others out there. 

I’m not saying that ScarJo is done for, as the recent pics you sent show a still hot woman. I’m just saying when you’re watching this movie, you might find yourself wondering if you’d have to butter her hips to get her through the bedroom door after luring her from the bar with a trail of Hershey’s Kisses and the promise of a large DQ Snickers Blizzard waiting for her when she got there. 

Every time you cite any fact, I'm going to accuse you of getting it from a gossip rag. As if a thirty second google search doesn't exist in all of our pockets. 

The real, real error in judgement and justifiable criticism of any of my habits, and how I knew BDH was now a big lady, was I that one day while hungover and my kid was at a friends, I made the fucking massive mistake of watching Aygyle. Holy shit. 80% of the movie is shot with close ups of her face. It's jarring. 

If you're curious, but don't want to watch the very much dogshit movie, you can skim this article about it from a gossip rag:
https://time.com/6622198/bryce-dallas-howard-argylle-body-interview/

Edited by SydneyCarton

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.



×
×
  • Create New...