When did you give your kid(s) a cell phone?

[markstanco 12424]

What I am looking for is age, but most importantly maturity for that age. My oldest kid will get one well before my youngest. And likely by 2-4 years.

[Francisco 2.0 31567]

Gave my oldest (she's 19 now) a Blackberry Curve when she was 10.  In those days, you could really customize them, and I made up a pink theme for it, got a replacement case that was pink, different keyboard, etc.  Through AT&T, you could restrict the numbers that it could call or text  from/to, and we limited it to family members only.  Turned off the data plan, disabled pretty much everything else that could get out, and it had no data plan.  She got by with that until she was 14.

[Tom 2959]

I got my first cell phone at around 20-years-old.  

I'd say probably before that.

[Jkwellborn 6536]

I gave my daughter my old iPhone 4 when she was 5 or 6. Only on it was Netflix.

 

[NeverMarryAStripper 21765]

I got my first one when I was 33. That seems like a good age.

[South Austin 51409]

Got our daughter an iPhone when she hit middle school. It’s been helpful in communicating when she has after school activities, but you really have to be vigilant with them and regulate the use, or they’ll be glued to the thing. Our rule is that after dinner the iPhone has to be downstairs plugged into a charger so she’s not staring into in all through the night.  

[Guest Lobo]

These folks make some compelling points:  

https://www.waituntil8th.org/

I didn't get my first cell phone until about 2002/2003, when I was already in my mid-20's. 

As a parent of two daughters, who admittedly are far younger age than any sane parent would give a cell phone to...I would think a good benchmark to go by so that you know your child is ready for a cell phone would be when they can answer the question, "Why do you need a cell phone?" with a response OTHER than, "Because so-and-so/everybody else has one" or "So I can check in with you when I'm not at home."  Those are bullshit.

[Pescado_Rojo 19192]

Middle school for my twins. I travel a lot for my job, so Mrs Rojo has to get two kids to different sports practices/activities several times a week. They are helpful when one has to be home alone for a bit, or someone is running late to pick up. They will get super zoned into them if you let them. We don't let ours have them in the morning before school until they've eaten and all their morning chores are done, or in the evening after 8:30. 

[Onboard 2.0 9083]

Freshman year of HS.  She was pissed, that pretty much signaled that we were doing it right.

[Gene Parmesan 3951]

It is super convenient to be able to contact your kids when they start doing things on their own, but there are a million different ways to accomplish that without giving them a smart phone.  I'd hold off on that as long as possible.  It sucks that they will probably start being ostracized by their peers for lack of iphone pretty early though.

My wife is an elementary school nurse, and some kids there have smartphones.  She's even had to get some of the kids to call their parents on them because they aren't answering calls from her office.  I'm sure they are just the parents old phones so the costs may be pretty negligible, but beyond that what positives come from a 9 year old taking a smart phone to school?

[Nueces River Rat 5485]

Middle school. It helped to coordinate after school activities and all that stuff. I don’t go the newest IPhone or Galaxy route either.

[HiggyBaby 2489]

Both my kids got a phone at 11. Just added it on to our unlimited plan and capped a lot of the cellular data access and app installations via parental controls.

No brainer going into middle school and being dropped off at activities etc.

[Guest]

Age 13 on oldest boy.  12 on the youngest.

Absolute access by both of us parents. If we tried to log in whatever and got locked out, they lost the phones immediately.  Never happened...  did find some interesting text conversations  though.  Typical teenage male shit.

I think I checked them about once a year, just to remind them it could happen at any time. Trust, but verify...

[Chewbacca 7612]

We did it at 12 with 2 rules:

 

#1 - If we call you, you answer.  

#2 - I will have the password at all times.

 

Non-compliance with either one (always #1 with our oldest) results in confiscation for a period of time.  He always answers now.

Edited April 19, 2019 by Chewbacca

[Surly Bevo 24247]

I didn't completely give my kid anything.  When my oldest was going into 7th grade we got her an iphone that summer before with the caveat that she would pay monthly "rent" to us to help cover some of the cost and that the rent would increase each year as she got older.  She started at $15 a month.  So be it babysitting money whatever she started paying.  

Proud parent moment was when in 8th grade and rent was $20 a month she came to me at the end of the summer and said "Dad, I have an offer for you.  I pay you $20 a month in rent and so that would be $100 for the rest of the year (this was at beginning of August) . What if rather than paying you $20 each month I paid you $80 now and got a 20% discount"

Yea I proudly took that deal.

And similar rules as others have mentioned, failure to answer when we call is punishable by whatever punishment we see fit, we still can take away at any time for anything (you didn't walk the dog like you were supposed to and he just shit in the office...tough give me your damn phone), we have the password for the Apple account blah blah blah.  She's about to be a Junior now and that system has worked well.

I have twins wrapping up 6th grade so they are about to go on the same plan.  

 

Edited April 19, 2019 by Surly Bevo

[hrmaddie 48]

12 - phone downstairs at night, pass code protected, no safari, ave restricted everything - she was pissed for two years - I gradually started to allow apps, eased time restrictions, etc - her first Instagram acct and Snapchat acct we had access to.   Probably should have waited until she was 14, didn’t garner much use between those two years. 

[Buzzrock 14775]

Told my daughter 13 and pretty much stuck to it. She just finished 7th grade and turns 13 on 6/29. She crushed it in school this year so we gave her the phone on the last week of school so she could get all her friends’ numbers. She can’t put any apps on it without me putting the password in. No social media. She felt like the last 7th grader on earth without a phone, but she also got to observe what phones do to kids. It gets turned off at 8pm and doesn’t go to her room with her.

It’s crazy how early some people give phones to their kids. There’s a documentary called Screenagers that talks about the health effects of too much screen time and offers tips on what to do. 

[tbone_ 13968]

Buzz is right. You can’t just give it to them at any age and leave it wide open. Ours is 12, had one since 10 or so but it’s locked down pretty tight. Turns off at 8:00, zero social media, we have total spy app that sends mom a report on anything suspicious, etc etc.

 

I tend to think my kid is a pretty good kid but she’s done some phone related shit that’s been surprising so our recipe is one that’s developed over time. I’m convinced these things are like the ring in Lord of the Rings and will turn them into Gollum if you let them run wild. It’s like crack they can’t control.

 

But the flip side is it’s how they communicate. And as much as I don’t like it, it’s the world we live in. So somehow we have to teach them how to use it responsibly.

 

Here’s another tip- we have a spare iPad that’s set up to match her appleid. So all texts show up on that. We can read them without having to look at her phone. She knows we do. And still shit shows up. Imo, if you aren’t reading your kids texts (at least in middle school) you are making a huge mistake.

 

I seriously may not ever let her have Instagram or snap chat, or whatever their replacement is.

 

And +1 on answering the goddamn thing when I call, or respond to text, or it goes in my desk until I decide otherwise.

 

 

[Jerry Callo 8626]

11 hours ago, Buzzrock said:

Told my daughter 13 and pretty much stuck to it. She just finished 7th grade and turns 13 on 6/29. She crushed it in school this year so we gave her the phone on the last week of school so she could get all her friends’ numbers. She can’t put any apps on it without me putting the password in. No social media. She felt like the last 7th grader on earth without a phone, but she also got to observe what phones do to kids. It gets turned off at 8pm and doesn’t go to her room with her.

It’s crazy how early some people give phones to their kids. There’s a documentary called Screenagers that talks about the health effects of too much screen time and offers tips on what to do. 

We did about the same with our two girls.  7th grade once they started athletics before or after school.  No social media, all apps approved by us, phone charges in the kitchen after 9:00 pm, we get all passwords, etc.  Actually made them sign a phone contract and initial every line.  

 

Cell Phone Agreement

In exchange for the privilege of carrying and using a cell phone, I agree to the following terms and conditions:

1. I understand that the rules below are for my safety and that my parents love me more than anything in the world.  I understand that my parents want to give me freedom, while also giving me enough security to make smart choices. Initial here: ____

2. I promise that my parents will always know the phone passwords.  I understand that my parents have a right to look at my phone whenever there’s a need for them to do so, even without my permission.  Initial here: ____

3. I will never ignore a phone call if the screen reads “Mom” or “Dad.”  Initial here: ____

4. I will hand the phone over to one of your parents promptly at 9:30 p.m. every night.  It will be shut off for the night and turned on again at 7:00 a.m. I will not let my phone interfere with sleep, schoolwork, or other important activities.  Initial here: ____

5. If it falls into the toilet, smashes on the ground, or vanishes into thin air, I am responsible for the replacement costs or repairs.  I will tell my parents right away if the phone is damaged, lost or stolen. Initial here: ____

6. I will NEVER use my phone or social media to bully or tease anyone, even if my friends think it’s funny.  I will tell my parents if I become aware of a cyber-bullying situation. Initial here: ____

7. I will not text, email, or say anything through this device I would not say in person.  I will not text, email, or say anything to someone that you would not say out loud with their parents in the room.  Initial here: ____  

8. I promise I will tell my parents when I receive suspicious or alarming phone call or text messages from people I don’t know.  I will also tell my parents if I am being harassed by someone via my phone. Initial here: ____

9. I will never search for porn or anything else that I wouldn’t want Mimi and Meemaw finding.  Initial here: ____

10. I will turn it off, silence it, and put it away in public.  Especially at a restaurant, at the movies, or while speaking with another human being.  Initial here: ____

11. I will not send or receive pictures of my private parts or anyone else’s private parts.  It is risky and could ruin your teenage/college/adult life. It is always a bad idea. Cyberspace is vast and more powerful than you.  And it is hard to make anything of this magnitude disappear – including a bad reputation. Initial here: ____

12. I will get my parents’ permission before downloading or purchasing apps.  I will not sign up for social media without my parents’ permission. Initial here: ____

You’ve made it this far without the necessity of a phone – don’t make it a necessity.  You will mess up. We will take away your phone. We will sit down and talk about it. We will start over again.  You and us are always learning. We are on your team. We are in this together.

I understand that this is NOT my phone and that it was paid for by my parents.  Having a phone is not a right - it is a privilege that can be taken away. As such, I have read the document and agree to the above rules.  I understand that if I have any questions, I should talk to my parents face-to-face.

______________________________________

[Soldierhorn 206]

"When did you give your kids a cell phone?"

 Never did.  that was back in the '90s and they are in their upper 30s now.  I didnt get my first cell phone until I was 49 mostly on the insistence of my daughters for emergency reasons.  I hardly use it and it often goes dead for lack of use.  I view the $30/mth unlimited text and talk as a kind of insurance. 

[Billy Pilgrim 1868]

On 4/19/2019 at 12:40 PM, Chewbacca said:

We did it at 12 with 2 rules:

 

#1 - If we call you, you answer.  

#2 - I will have the password at all times.

 

Non-compliance with either one (always #1 with our oldest) results in confiscation for a period of time.  He always answers now.

12 for our daughter so she could watch younger siblings if we ran to the grocery store or other quick errand.

 

also wanted her to be able to text us if she was in a situation she was uncomfortable with and wanted us to come get her immediately (worked out when she was spending the night at a friend’s house and started her period and wanted to come home and be with mom).

Edited June 7, 2019 by Billy Pilgrim

[SimonBolivar 10648]

36 minutes ago, Soldierhorn said:

"When did you give your kids a cell phone?"

 Never did.  that was back in the '90s and they are in their upper 30s now.  I didnt get my first cell phone until I was 49 mostly on the insistence of my daughters for emergency reasons.  I hardly use it and it often goes dead for lack of use.  I view the $30/mth unlimited text and talk as a kind of insurance. 

This guy doesn't shit and Surly.

Edited June 7, 2019 by SimonBolivar

[Soldierhorn 206]

4 minutes ago, SimonBolivar said:

This guy doesn't shit and Surly.

I dont know what that means so I'll just ignore it and talk about something else

Not to long ago, I went into the phone store and asked them how do I do something on my phone. The young lady gave me a blank look and said you cant do that with that phone.  She checked her computer and said, it shows here that you've never upgraded your phone. I told her nope and I didnt know I needed to upgrade until now and still not sure I "need" to upgrade.  She said, since you have so much store credit that you've never used, we can give you one of these nice phones for practically free and then you can do what you want to do.  I asked her if my Razor flip phone was on her list and I can just transfer the service to it.  She had the funniest look on her face. LOL  I ended up getting a fancy-smancy LG android phone - it's shiny

[SimonBolivar 10648]

2 minutes ago, Soldierhorn said:

I dont know what that means so I'll just ignore it and talk about something else

 

It just meant that you don't surf surlyhorns.com while you're taking a shit at your commode of choice.

[Soldierhorn 206]

This is such a 1st world dilemma and it makes me laugh.  How did we neanderthals from the 20th century live long enough without all these devices to have offspring so that they could make such life altering decisions? 

Seriously, if my woman badgered me enough to get a kid a phone, it would NOT be a smart phone.  I have plenty of old phones in a drawer that I could put back into service. Kids can text with a flip-phone. I know because my youngest literally wore the letters off of one.  Since most kids dont earn an income, they are poor and could probably qualify for one of the 5,000 some-odd Obama phones still waiting to be had.  haha

[tbone_ 13968]

We looked at going the flip phone route for texting only. Smart phone route is better because you can control it, monitor it.

Like it or not, which I don’t, it’s the world we’re in now. Not having access would cut them off from a social communication. That’s just how it is now.

[Soldierhorn 206]

38 minutes ago, tbone_ said:

Not having access would cut them off from a social communication. 

We didnt have "social communications" before cell phones?  How did humanity survive beyond the stone age, much less the 20th century?  I would say that these devices are actually retarding social communications.  Holy cow! we had to wait ALL night before we could go to school so we could socially communicate face to face - oh! the humanity of it all!  I would say most of the time NOT having immediate access for a response is probably the wisest.  

just admit it; you were badgered into getting a smart phone and now have to rationalize it.  haha  If you have to put parental protections on a flip phone (which I would imagine is possible nowadays with service provider), then you've got bigger issues.  If you didnt have individual wireless phones but, instead, had a single home phone, you would not put up with that phone ringing constantly or being monopolized 24/7 for juvenile jibber-jabber

Also, old phones are more rugged.  I just noticed my new LG smart phone has a crack on the glass and I hardly ever use it!  I dont wear it around the house or yard and I usually forget it when I jump in one of the vehicles. If a kid can prove they can take care of and be trusted with an old style phone for a few years, then I would think about getting them a smart phone but they would have to prove they can be trusted with one - DONT take their word for it. 

Edited June 8, 2019 by Soldierhorn

[pacman 7212]

6th grade because he walks home

[tbone_ 13968]

We didnt have "social communications" before cell phones?  How did humanity survive beyond the stone age, much less the 20th century?  I would say that these devices are actually retarding social communications.  Holy cow! we had to wait ALL night before we could go to school so we could socially communicate face to face - oh! the humanity of it all!  I would say most of the time NOT having immediate access for a response is probably the wisest.  
just admit it; you were badgered into getting a smart phone and now have to rationalize it.  haha  If you have to put parental protections on a flip phone (which I would imagine is possible nowadays with service provider), then you've got bigger issues.  If you didnt have individual wireless phones but, instead, had a single home phone, you would not put up with that phone ringing constantly or being monopolized 24/7 for juvenile jibber-jabber
Also, old phones are more rugged.  I just noticed my new LG smart phone has a crack on the glass and I hardly ever use it!  I dont wear it around the house or yard and I usually forget it when I jump in one of the vehicles. If a kid can prove they can take care of and be trusted with an old style phone for a few years, then I would think about getting them a smart phone but they would have to prove they can be trusted with one - DONT take their word for it. 

Clearly you have it all figured out. Best of luck.

[Soldierhorn 206]

Just now, tbone_ said:

Clearly you have it all figured out. Best of luck.

no... I've just been there and done that. 

[tbone_ 13968]

Clearly.

[Soldierhorn 206]

6 minutes ago, pacman said:

6th grade because he walks home

ok. and?

My elementary school was 4 miles away in Buda. We took the bus most of the time but we also road bike to school. We continued walking or riding bikes to Buda all summer. 

[tbone_ 13968]

Thank God we have you to tell us how it is.

[Soldierhorn 206]

At least you believe in God

[pacman 7212]

6 minutes ago, Soldierhorn said:

ok. and?

My elementary school was 4 miles away in Buda. We took the bus most of the time but we also road bike to school. We continued walking or riding bikes to Buda all summer. 

We don't have a home phone, so he texts or calls when he arrives home.

[Quagmire 2139]

no... I've just been there and done that. 

Lol your wasting your time. People will use every excuse in the book to justify giving a cell phone to an 8 year old .

16 when they start driving seems fine but most just give in to stop kids from bugging them because little jimmy across the street has one .

[Soldierhorn 206]

38 minutes ago, Quagmire said:

Lol your wasting your time. People will use every excuse in the book to justify giving a cell phone to an 8 year old .
16 when they start driving seems fine but most just give in to stop kids from bugging them because little jimmy across the street has one .

yep, most young guys today are not looking for advice, even if they ask for it, they want affirmations.  This is how women act: even if they ask a direct question, they really dont want you to give them advice or even to necessarily fix it, they just want you to listen and affirm their feelings.  I generally dont like sitcoms today because they are generally politically correct metro-sexual nonsense... but there was  a sitcom (and I dont remember which one) where a guy in the show figured this out and every time he talked to a woman, he would periodically say "I hear what you are saying" or "how does that make you feel?" and the women in the show fell in love with him.  hahaha  it was hilarious because it had some truth to it. 

Age 16 sounds reasonable if it's controlled.  If the car (that they are paying for) breaks down or involved in a wreck, then they can call somebody for help, and dont be surprised later if it wasnt you that they called. LOL 

[tbone_ 13968]

At least you believe in God

Not really but don’t worry about it. You’re a waste of time. I’m out.

[Soldierhorn 206]

12 minutes ago, tbone_ said:

Not really but don’t worry about it. You’re a waste of time. I’m out.

You say something that is not true or you dont believe.... but I'm the one that is a "waste of time".  smh  typical millennial reasoning

[Guest Lobo]

I'm surprised that like the Cricket model for olds, there isn't a phone model out there that has no camera, no social media access, can text and call obviously, and maybe some bare-bones internet access like top 5 email accounts for schoolwork, that kinda thing.  I get that's naive, but there's niches of so many tech products for every demographic...how has this not been figured out yet for kids under 18?  Particularly under 15/16?    And yes, I realize any product like this will be fraught with vulnerability, etc.  But they already are, why not at least try?  And yeah, it could alienate your child from social interaction...but most kids are already socially vulnerable.  The only thing more powerful than being socially connected is extracting yourself from social interaction.  Why not learn it from a younger age.  I wish I could go back and tell my junior high/high school self that none of this shit matters...don't lose any sleep over it. 

[Soldierhorn 206]

45 minutes ago, Lobo said:

I'm surprised that like the Cricket model for olds, there isn't a phone model out there that has no camera, no social media access, can text and call obviously, and maybe some bare-bones internet access like top 5 email accounts for schoolwork, that kinda thing.  I get that's naive, but there's niches of so many tech products for every demographic...how has this not been figured out yet for kids under 18?  Particularly under 15/16?    And yes, I realize any product like this will be fraught with vulnerability, etc.  But they already are, why not at least try?  And yeah, it could alienate your child from social interaction...but most kids are already socially vulnerable.  The only thing more powerful than being socially connected is extracting yourself from social interaction.  Why not learn it from a younger age.  I wish I could go back and tell my junior high/high school self that none of this shit matters...don't lose any sleep over it. 

That's actually a pretty good idea. 

The phone would need to be water proof: yes, it will end up in the toilet or the pool, or left out in the rain or in a back pack left out in the rain. It will also need to be ruggedized like an old flip phone to protect the screen. a flip phone with parental controls including email, internet, social media, text or whatnot should be turned on or off by the administrator (parents) and he default should be "off".  And, ruggedizing the phone could come in different degrees of ruggedness. My grandsons have a tablet that looks like it was formed out of a bumper car - haha - and the little barbarians still broke the screen.  I'm surprised no one has brought this up yet but one of the biggest benefits to a mongrel having a phone is geo-tracking.  IMO, any ruggedized phone should have geo-tracking capability and limited accessible history data.  And, this phone is for the wife but even more so for the kids  LOL  you millennials dont have to throw your frapachinos, it's just a joke

Edited June 8, 2019 by Soldierhorn

[Soldierhorn 206]

[edited: what I originally posted is really a different topic so I edited it]

.

Edited June 8, 2019 by Soldierhorn

[Baboontyme 2667]

I think it's time for my oldest. He has finally broken free of our chains and is apparently going to spend the summer biking around to his friends houses and doing whatever they do. I'm actually pretty damn happy about it, finally being a kid. All good parents, good neighborhood, going into middle school and will walk/bike. We need to keep tabs on him. I'd be fine with a fucking sky pager. He doesn't really care about the social aspects of a phone yet, so I just basically need a jitterbug to communicate with him. Do I just get a shitty smartphone and lock it down? 

[Texas St. Armadillos 1368]

We got the oldest her 1st this spring.  Headed to Middle School in the fall, so we felt it was time.

I found this company, Gabb, that has worked very well for us.  Phone, camera, texting, but no social media, games or internet.  Runs $100 for the phone, and $20-$30 per month based on the plan you choose.

No contracts.

 

https://gabbwireless.com/

[Jerry Callo 8626]

Gave my girls old iphones that required permission from my wife to download any apps.  Also, made them sign and initial the over-lawyered contract above.  Iphones are nice because my wife can track their movements through some app she made them all install.  I refuse to fall for that crap, so I have to use my wife's phone to pinpoint the kids' locations.

[Baboontyme 2667]

I like the Gabb idea above. Only thing is they sometimes talk on Messenger Kids. I don't have a FB account so this is through my wife's FB account. I probably wouldn't be able to put Messenger Kids on the Gabb. 

My kid is so clueless and I am not eager to change that. I said what else would you use the phone for. He said maybe the internet? I said what would you need the internet for. He said Googling stuff? I said like what. I don't know? The weather? 

He never wanted a phone. Still doesn't really care. It has just become obvious the past couple of days to both parties that it's going to need to happen. I'm not too worried about him with the phone. Now little sis? Yikes. 

[fattyflattie 4631]

2 hours ago, Jerry Callo said:

Gave my girls old iphones that required permission from my wife to download any apps.  Also, made them sign and initial the over-lawyered contract above.  Iphones are nice because my wife can track their movements through some app she made them all install.  I refuse to fall for that crap, so I have to use my wife's phone to pinpoint the kids' locations.

Because of the indiscretions of some our  (my) friends, I’ve had that app for while.  Crazy thing is it’ll track you even without service.  She showed me some maps of us trolling way out in the GOM about 45 miles offshore once.  I don’t have service maybe 2 miles past the jetties. But it sure as shit showed dozens and dozens of circles out in the gulf.  

[Updawg 2239]

Gave my daughter one last year before 6th grade. iPhone so we can lock it down and track. I switched back to an iPhone to be able to use that stuff. It’s ok but contacts got kind of fucked up.

[achooloco 961]

No kids but whats wrong with a land line until they are old enough to travel about without you? As in, when they get a car, they can then pay for their own phone? Not hating, just curious. Everyone up thread  (not trying to be a soldierhorn here) seems like they are actually good parents and want to protect their kids and are so far doing the right thing for their situation; just curious what's wrong with other alternatives. Best comment against my suggestion is kids just talk different now a days which I get but actually speaking words won't hurt anyone and the parents don't have to worry about apps, pics, etc. 

 

[Jkwellborn 6536]

My kids have old iPhones. Like, when I upgrade, I give them a 2-4 year old phone. They don’t have data other than the WiFi at the house. They can watch Netflix, YouTube and play a few games. I have to log in for them to download anything.