February 16, 20232 yr Popular Post 5 minutes ago, Guadaloopy said: We have two Australian Shepherds, so keeping the wood floors in the house clean is a constant battle. We have a robot vac which helps, but it only does so much. We both contribute to keeping it clean by using the rechargeable vacuum as needed for a couple of minutes a day. This plays out in two different scenarios. Scenario 1: I walk into the room and notice some little fur bunnies on the floor and in the corners of the room. I grab the rechargeable vacuum from the utility room, empty the dustbin into the trash, and proceed to quickly vacuum up the stray dog hairs and blades of dead grass that the dogs track in. I have to do this quickly because the rechargeable vacuum wasn't put back on the charger after the previous use and thus has a only couple of minutes of charge in the battery. I then empty the dustbin into the trash and place the vacuum back on the charger in the utility room. Scenario 2: My wife walks into the room and loudly exclaims "OH MY GOD, these floors are DISGUSTING!" She then proceeds to huff over to the utility room, grabs the rechargeable vacuum and then haphazardly runs it around the floor for 90 seconds. She then takes the vacuum with a partially full dustbin into the utility room and "puts it away" by leaning it against the wall in the general vicinity of the charger. I get it, but you have a wife who actually will touch a vacuum. Much like nature, Mrs. ABSR abhors a vacuum.
February 16, 20232 yr 15 hours ago, EE2B said: My wife spent $70 on 2 dozen cupcakes for my 4th graders class valentine party. I must not have realized how expensive eggs are. Did she make them or buy them? Because around here anyway there a multiple women who bake custom cookies, cakes, cupcakes etc that apparently selling to put their multiple kids and/or grandkids through very expensive private schools. And God help you if some other mom outdid your wife's last effort. And by effort I mean expenditures for overpriced, unnecessary bullshit
February 16, 20232 yr 11 minutes ago, Dennis Taylor said: Did she make them or buy them? Because around here anyway there a multiple women who bake custom cookies, cakes, cupcakes etc that apparently selling to put their multiple kids and/or grandkids through very expensive private schools. And God help you if some other mom outdid your wife's last effort. And by effort I mean expenditures for overpriced, unnecessary bullshit She bought them at a local Bakery.
February 16, 20232 yr 29 minutes ago, Dennis Taylor said: Did she make them or buy them? Because around here anyway there a multiple women who bake custom cookies, cakes, cupcakes etc that apparently selling to put their multiple kids and/or grandkids through very expensive private schools. And God help you if some other mom outdid your wife's last effort. And by effort I mean expenditures for overpriced, unnecessary bullshit Never been to Sprinkle's I see. $70 for 24 would be a bargain there.
February 16, 20232 yr 33 minutes ago, Dennis Taylor said: Did she make them or buy them? Because around here anyway there a multiple women who bake custom cookies, cakes, cupcakes etc that apparently selling to put their multiple kids and/or grandkids through very expensive private schools. And God help you if some other mom outdid your wife's last effort. And by effort I mean expenditures for overpriced, unnecessary bullshit @Celery Man ‘s wife does some really cool shit.
February 16, 20232 yr Popular Post 4 minutes ago, Kennythetiger said: @Celery Man ‘s wife does some really cool shit. And she can bake pretty well too.
February 16, 20232 yr that is where it gets into stupid shit/almost smart shit - every cookie holiday making the ridiculous decorated stuff but not turning it into a business. actually I'm a dumbass, she's never going to do that and I need to take the initiative to make her some business cards she can slip into each of those boxes with a link to her ridiculous painted cakes and cookies Edited February 16, 20232 yr by Celery Man
February 16, 20232 yr 55 minutes ago, Guadaloopy said: My wife never waits for the gas oven to finish preheating before putting food in to cook. She has ruined countless cakes by doing this. They come out burned on top and not fully cooked through. She has a PhD, but somehow cannot grasp how the oven actually works. Hopefully her PhD isn’t in thermodynamics. Even when the oven says it’s preheated, it’s probably not fully preheated. I use an oven thermometer on the middle rack in my gas oven and it’s usually about 5 minutes after the oven says it’s preheated before that thermometer indicates the desired temp.
February 16, 20232 yr 17 hours ago, EE2B said: My wife spent $70 on 2 dozen cupcakes for my 4th graders class valentine party. I must not have realized how expensive eggs are. My wife texted me in a panic on Monday morning to get something for Valentines Day for our 23 yr old daughter (forget it, no pics) who is living in a new city, working a new (first) real job. So, yes, I spent a total of $70 to have a dozen chocolate dipped oreo cookies delivered by 1800Flowers. SMDH
February 16, 20232 yr my wife's family is very blue collar. her cousin gushes on facebook about being taken care of by her man, posting pics of him walking into the house on Valentines evening holding grocery store flowers still in the plastic. i am incredibly jealous of her husband and wonder who the fuck told my wife what a mikimoto even is
February 16, 20232 yr 3 hours ago, ABSR said: I get it, but you have a wife who actually will touch a vacuum. Much like nature, Mrs. ABSR abhors a vacuum. Most wives stop that activity right around the wedding day.
February 16, 20232 yr 1 hour ago, Grade of D as in David said: I'm guessing she got her first pearl necklace sometime in high school. Really don't cost that much
February 16, 20232 yr Most wives stop that activity right around the wedding day. Yup. When we say “I do”! They say “good, cause I don’t have to anymore”!
February 17, 20232 yr 29 minutes ago, Pokoloco said: She still thinks New Mexico is a foreign country. Half the fuckers on here still think Texas is an independent nation.
February 17, 20232 yr Half the fuckers on here still think Texas is an independent nation. The other 3/4 think we need to succeed from the United States.
February 17, 20232 yr Popular Post 16 minutes ago, Fudbelty said: The other 3/4 think we need to succeed from the United States. Succeeding is good
February 17, 20232 yr 1 hour ago, Fudbelty said: The other 3/4 think we need to succeed from the United States.
February 17, 20232 yr 21 hours ago, General Specific said: Yup. When we say “I do”! They say “good, cause I don’t have to anymore”! "I saw you as a way out of my parent's house."
February 17, 20232 yr 21 hours ago, General Specific said: Yup. When we say “I do”! They say “good, cause I don’t have to anymore”!
February 17, 20232 yr My wife texted me in a panic on Monday morning to get something for Valentines Day for our 23 yr old daughter (forget it, no pics) who is living in a new city, working a new (first) real job. So, yes, I spent a total of $70 to have a dozen chocolate dipped oreo cookies delivered by 1800Flowers. SMDHSheeeeeeit. Next time just cash app her $25, like I did with mine.
February 17, 20232 yr 3 hours ago, Fudbelty said: The other 3/4 think we need to succeed from the United States. Trixie?? Dis you???
February 17, 20232 yr 36 minutes ago, Fudbelty said: Shirley y’all aren’t taking me serious. Nice cover.
February 17, 20232 yr On 2/16/2023 at 9:57 AM, ABSR said: I get it, but you have a wife who actually will touch a vacuum. Much like nature, Mrs. ABSR abhors a vacuum. There's a "but she don't mind sucking" joke here, but I'm not going to make it. Edited February 17, 20232 yr by NWBuck
February 18, 20232 yr 17 hours ago, Brothahorn said: On 2/16/2023 at 1:25 PM, CycleTex87 said: My wife texted me in a panic on Monday morning to get something for Valentines Day for our 23 yr old daughter (forget it, no pics) who is living in a new city, working a new (first) real job. So, yes, I spent a total of $70 to have a dozen chocolate dipped oreo cookies delivered by 1800Flowers. SMDH Sheeeeeeit. Next time just cash app her $25, like I did with mine. You sent your daughter $25 for Valentines Day? I’m not as big of an asshole as I thought I was.
February 18, 20232 yr 1 hour ago, Kennythetiger said: You sent your daughter $25 for Valentines Day? I’m not as big of an asshole as I thought I was. She laughed about it with her sugar daddy.
February 18, 20232 yr She laughed about it with her sugar daddy.Well, she needs to step her sugar daddy game up so I don't have to pay for her damn cruise.
February 18, 20232 yr I’m just texted my wife: “Sad news, Jimmy Carter is in hospice.”She replied: (thumbs down) “How old is he?”From her iPhone. For fucks sake.
February 18, 20232 yr 1 minute ago, shadow_operative2.0 said: ^ How in the world did you wind up on page 4?! That's what I'm trying to figure out. I clicked the header which usually takes me to last read, but in fairness didn't check the time stamp when I got there. That has happened several times lately.
February 19, 20232 yr So my youngest got this thing as a gift recently. I told him earlier this week I'd put it together for him this weekend since he's too young. I tell everyone not to touch anything until I'm ready (As if this hasn't happened before). I get woken up early Saturday morning to my daughter frantically saying, "Come quick! Mommy needs help!" I throw a shirt on and find her in the garage with one of her fingers jammed inside this hunk of plastic: Wife: "Help! I can't get it off!" I tried to pry it outward, but she says that just makes it hurt more, so I ended up cutting the end so it would loosen better. You can see the bit missing at the bottom. So, she thought she'd be helpful by pushing all the pieces out of the receptacle (There were multiple receptacles), except all those pieces were numbered individually. Some pieces are similar enough that the instructions aren't always clear which piece you need unless you're going strictly off the part number. You can figure it out in the end, but it would have gone faster if the pieces hadn't been removed. Once I freed her finger she decided to throw that junk plastic away, only for me to find that she forgot to knock out two tiny pieces so I spent a half hour looking around through the carpet thinking they rolled down there. I check the trash and sure enough, there they are still on the bracket. So, once that was all taken care of I decided to get to work finally. After an hour or two I've got quite a bit done and carpal tunnel starts bugging me, so I decide to take a break for food. The mechanical pieces are all put together, I'm just getting ready to mess with the hydraulics. She's downstairs there watching TV where I'm working, so I tell her, "Don't touch anything, I'll be back in 30." "Okay." I come back and something is definitely not right. Someone has attached the hoses already to the cylinders, and instead of 3 short hoses for the fingers and 1 long one for the thumb I'm seeing 5 short hoses. "What happened?! Who cut one of the hoses?" "Oh, your son was messing around over there, I don't know." Sure enough my 8 year old fesses up to it, she was sitting right beside him when it happened and didn't say a thing. I threw the damn box across the room. I just ordered replacement tubing off their website. Edited February 19, 20232 yr by ulukinatme
February 19, 20232 yr 2 hours ago, Fudbelty said: Back in my day we just used our own hand when learning about self pleasure. He said he has carpal tunnel, so this is like Viagra for his hand.
February 19, 20232 yr 10AA32BA-6BB9-4128-9D8B-339F72C54805.webp Edited February 19, 20232 yr by NeverMarryAStripper
February 19, 20232 yr 7 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said: 10AA32BA-6BB9-4128-9D8B-339F72C54805.webp 10.22 kB · 9 downloads You fucked it up but that’s what it was hoping it would be
February 20, 20232 yr 2 hours ago, markstanco said: Wife lost her shit over this. It’ll be fine in the spring. The waht looks like "shadows" is indeed burned grass. No biggie other than it was probably an accident.
February 20, 20232 yr The waht looks like "shadows" is indeed burned grass. No biggie other than it was probably an accident.Exactly. She lost her shit thinking no grass for years. It’s zoysia and the wet roots are fine. But I did learn a thing or 2 today. Don’t turn your back on a small camp fire. And I turned it in to a learning experience for my kids. And they know since they helped put it out. The fire was basically out. But it wasn’t.
February 20, 20232 yr 3 hours ago, Js1 said: You fucked it up but that’s what it was hoping it would be Immediately popped into my head and the my dementia kicked on when I tried to execute
February 20, 20232 yr Popular Post Had a weekend at the ranch and soon after we got back home, wife realized she left the stove on boiling water in the bunk house. She just made it to the ranch (100 miles) with no damage, just a really hot pot. Uncle who was still in the area could have drove about 15 minutes and turned it off. Wife couldn't handle someone who's known her her entire life knowing she left the stove on as if the person who's know her her entire life doesn't already know she can't remember shit and this is pretty typical. Totally worth 200 miles round trip. I am wife free for the evening, so that's nice. Edited February 20, 20232 yr by NaTeWHO
February 20, 20232 yr 11 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said: Why did she boil water in the bunk house right before you left? Thread title. Res ipsa loquitor
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