Jump to content

Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do


Spur08

Recommended Posts

You should have told her that can’t be him because he’s dead
Dammit. You just made me go check. He died in 2018. Movie (The Nice Guys) was released in 2016. So he COULD have made a caneo.

BUT...

He's not listed on IMDB as being in it and I can find no reference to him in it.

Makes me wonder if she saw Hal Dion and got mistaken.

44ccc3e3ff7b36f85a0e3640a1d4d03f.jpg

Edit: Now she's scrolling back through the movie to find him so I can check.
  • Hook 'Em 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Is,it common in Texas to heat your house with electricity?  Natural gas furnaces have to heat 98% of houses here.
Kind of out in the country with spray foam insulation, all electric house.

KB Homes builds most of their houses all electric, even when natural gas lines are readily available.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

18 hours ago, markstanco said:

So my youngest likes popcorn. Who doesn’t. My wife thought it would be a good idea to get this for him for Christmas. WTF am I going to do with this thing? It stays in the way of a small audio video closet. And no we haven’t used it yet, but yes he has had microwave popcorn twice since Christmas.

e9731f508ae39a6047fb1cb51cff9081.jpg

Fix that rat's nest of cables.

  • Like 1
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

18 hours ago, markstanco said:

So my youngest likes popcorn. Who doesn’t. My wife thought it would be a good idea to get this for him for Christmas. WTF am I going to do with this thing? It stays in the way of a small audio video closet. And no we haven’t used it yet, but yes he has had microwave popcorn twice since Christmas.

e9731f508ae39a6047fb1cb51cff9081.jpg

Is this your son? If so tell him to lay off the butter.

 

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

So my youngest likes popcorn. Who doesn’t. My wife thought it would be a good idea to get this for him for Christmas. WTF am I going to do with this thing? It stays in the way of a small audio video closet. And no we haven’t used it yet, but yes he has had microwave popcorn twice since Christmas.

e9731f508ae39a6047fb1cb51cff9081.jpg

You should thank her. First of all, that space looks fucking miserable. Where do you put your legs when you sit? And I’m sure it stinks like hell in that tiny space. The popcorn those things churn out kicks ass. And it makes a lot of it so you can always grab a bowl on the fly.
  • Hook 'Em 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

My oldest son and the neighbor kid have ongoing Nerf battles with some of the other kids in our neighborhood. They went over to one kid's house and saw his Nerf guns in the open garage.  They thought it would be a good prank to take the guns and hide them around the corner outside of the garage and then do an attack.  It would be a bloodbath where the other kids were scrambling to find their guns while getting Nerf blasted.  Pretty good idea, if you ask me.

Anyway, my wife got a text later that afternoon that said something along the lines of, "Tell your children never to go into my garage and take my children's things again."  No name, no backstory, no nothing.  We called my son in to question him about it.  What happened?  How did the parent get mom's phone number?  He told us the story and fully admitted to going into the garage. He said that the kids' dad came outside and reamed them out and asked for his mother's phone number, which he gave him. My son is naive and doesn't know that it's not cool to go into people's garages without them knowing about it.  So we talked to him about it and I think he got the message.

Meanwhile, my wife is pissed off at this other parent and she starts an angry text back to them.  I see this and tell her, "Please don't do that.  Let me handle it."  We had a short argument about it.  I explained that even if our kid wasn't malicious, he did do something objectively wrong.  I agreed the other parent didn't handle it well, but whatever.  We can't control if other people want to be assholes. She insists on responding. While she's typing she's muttering that the kids from the other house are at our house all the time and in our garage, etc. I just told her, "I know you are going to fuck this up and create enemies unnecessarily."  So now she's pissed off at me.

She finishes her angry text and I ask her what she wrote.  She says, "Hi, my name is Mrs. Ojo Rojo and my son's name is Ojo Rojo, Jr.  I got your text and I am really sorry that our son went into your garage.  We have talked to him and it won't happen again."  I'm thinking, "Okay, that's pretty much what I would have said."  She then continues, "And please tell your children to never come over to our house and play in our playhouse ever again."  I just looked at her incredulously.  "I knew it! Why did you write that? There was no reason to do that! I am so angry with you because you did that!"  A few minutes later she says, "I didn't really write the part about them not coming over the playhouse again."  What!? Then why the fuck would you tell me that!? You knew that would piss me off.  Did you do it just to piss me off?  Her response, "Well isn't that what you wanted to hear?"  What?  Which part?  That you told the neighbors off like a bitch or that you really didn't?  Are you really just trying to make me mad or are you just dumb?  Now we are in a huge fight and I won't get laid until the end of the month.

  • Like 2
  • Haha 4
  • Rage+1 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Ojo Rojo said:

My oldest son and the neighbor kid have ongoing Nerf battles with some of the other kids in our neighborhood. They went over to one kid's house and saw his Nerf guns in the open garage.  They thought it would be a good prank to take the guns and hide them around the corner outside of the garage and then do an attack.  It would be a bloodbath where the other kids were scrambling to find their guns while getting Nerf blasted.  Pretty good idea, if you ask me.

Anyway, my wife got a text later that afternoon that said something along the lines of, "Tell your children never to go into my garage and take my children's things again."  No name, no backstory, no nothing.  We called my son in to question him about it.  What happened?  How did the parent get mom's phone number?  He told us the story and fully admitted to going into the garage. He said that the kids' dad came outside and reamed them out and asked for his mother's phone number, which he gave him. My son is naive and doesn't know that it's not cool to go into people's garages without them knowing about it.  So we talked to him about it and I think he got the message.

Meanwhile, my wife is pissed off at this other parent and she starts an angry text back to them.  I see this and tell her, "Please don't do that.  Let me handle it."  We had a short argument about it.  I explained that even if our kid wasn't malicious, he did do something objectively wrong.  I agreed the other parent didn't handle it well, but whatever.  We can't control if other people want to be assholes. She insists on responding. While she's typing she's muttering that the kids from the other house are at our house all the time and in our garage, etc. I just told her, "I know you are going to fuck this up and create enemies unnecessarily."  So now she's pissed off at me.

She finishes her angry text and I ask her what she wrote.  She says, "Hi, my name is Mrs. Ojo Rojo and my son's name is Ojo Rojo, Jr.  I got your text and I am really sorry that our son went into your garage.  We have talked to him and it won't happen again."  I'm thinking, "Okay, that's pretty much what I would have said."  She then continues, "And please tell your children to never come over to our house and play in our playhouse ever again."  I just looked at her incredulously.  "I knew it! Why did you write that? There was no reason to do that! I am so angry with you because you did that!"  A few minutes later she says, "I didn't really write the part about them not coming over the playhouse again."  What!? Then why the fuck would you tell me that!? You knew that would piss me off.  Did you do it just to piss me off?  Her response, "Well isn't that what you wanted to hear?"  What?  Which part?  That you told the neighbors off like a bitch or that you really didn't?  Are you really just trying to make me mad or are you just dumb?  Now we are in a huge fight and I won't get laid until the end of the month.

I think a psychologist would have a field day with that little story.

  • Hook 'Em 2
  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

My oldest son and the neighbor kid have ongoing Nerf battles with some of the other kids in our neighborhood. They went over to one kid's house and saw his Nerf guns in the open garage.  They thought it would be a good prank to take the guns and hide them around the corner outside of the garage and then do an attack.  It would be a bloodbath where the other kids were scrambling to find their guns while getting Nerf blasted.  Pretty good idea, if you ask me.
Anyway, my wife got a text later that afternoon that said something along the lines of, "Tell your children never to go into my garage and take my children's things again."  No name, no backstory, no nothing.  We called my son in to question him about it.  What happened?  How did the parent get mom's phone number?  He told us the story and fully admitted to going into the garage. He said that the kids' dad came outside and reamed them out and asked for his mother's phone number, which he gave him. My son is naive and doesn't know that it's not cool to go into people's garages without them knowing about it.  So we talked to him about it and I think he got the message.
Meanwhile, my wife is pissed off at this other parent and she starts an angry text back to them.  I see this and tell her, "Please don't do that.  Let me handle it."  We had a short argument about it.  I explained that even if our kid wasn't malicious, he did do something objectively wrong.  I agreed the other parent didn't handle it well, but whatever.  We can't control if other people want to be assholes. She insists on responding. While she's typing she's muttering that the kids from the other house are at our house all the time and in our garage, etc. I just told her, "I know you are going to fuck this up and create enemies unnecessarily."  So now she's pissed off at me.
She finishes her angry text and I ask her what she wrote.  She says, "Hi, my name is Mrs. Ojo Rojo and my son's name is Ojo Rojo, Jr.  I got your text and I am really sorry that our son went into your garage.  We have talked to him and it won't happen again."  I'm thinking, "Okay, that's pretty much what I would have said."  She then continues, "And please tell your children to never come over to our house and play in our playhouse ever again."  I just looked at her incredulously.  "I knew it! Why did you write that? There was no reason to do that! I am so angry with you because you did that!"  A few minutes later she says, "I didn't really write the part about them not coming over the playhouse again."  What!? Then why the fuck would you tell me that!? You knew that would piss me off.  Did you do it just to piss me off?  Her response, "Well isn't that what you wanted to hear?"  What?  Which part?  That you told the neighbors off like a bitch or that you really didn't?  Are you really just trying to make me mad or are you just dumb?  Now we are in a huge fight and I won't get laid until the end of the month.

You’ve met females before, correct?
Link to comment
Share on other sites

23 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Bitches are, in fact, crazy,

Don't think I agree here.  Dude didn't trust his wife to handle the situation professionally, so she fucked with him a bit.  I would have taken it with humor, but whatever.

Also, that neighbor guy is an asshole.  Not sure I'd want my kid hanging with his anyway.

  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 12/13/2022 at 10:56 AM, huge said:

My wife is 100% out of fans of any kind.  She ripped all the ceiling fans out of the house when we bought it other than the "cool" looking one in the boy's room.

I like sleeping in there.

Weird, b/c she seems to love onlyfans.

  • Like 1
  • Haha 4
  • Drool 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 12/31/2022 at 5:40 PM, Dennis Taylor said:

So kids and I get the wife gift cards to this store she routinely spends too much at. Checking account always takes an ass whipping in December so we got these a couple months in advance.  She announces she's taking her cards there today. Ok great.  Comes home with a bunch of chick crap a couple hours later. I'm checking the bank account to pay some bills and see a fairly significant amount charged at the same store ....

Me : Why do I see this charge? That's why we got you the gift cards. 

Her: I didn't see anything big I really wanted. I'm saving the gift cards for that. 

Me: The point of the gift cards is to not impact the checking account. Now it's actually twice as much impact on the checking account 

Her: (confused puppy that hears a strange noise look)...how? I only spent X. 

Me: We got you gift cards for X, you just spent X from our account instead of the gift card. That's 2X total. 

Her: more confusion + tone

Me: (I better shut up if I want to have any activities tonight).

Happy Hour Reaction GIF by Laff 

 

Years ago, my wife said she had coupons for free stuff at Victoria's Secret (beach towels IIRC) so she was taking our kids and going up there. I said cool. She comes home with several bags, I said gee, that's a lot of stuff, what's the damage. She gets a sheepish look and says $250 or something. I blew up and said what happened to free??? She said she got the free stuff but then they had other stuff that wasn't free, sooooo. I just walked away and kept to myself for the next 12 hours or so. 

  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 12/23/2022 at 8:57 PM, Armybrat said:

The New Yorker occasionally had some good cartoons.

One favorite from cartoon caption contest- cartoon was a fish sitting at the bar, talking to the bartender. Winning caption was “I’m also a fish out of scotch.” 

  • Like 1
  • Haha 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 minutes ago, Sandman said:

Years ago, my wife said she had coupons for free stuff at Victoria's Secret (beach towels IIRC) so she was taking our kids and going up there. I said cool. She comes home with several bags, I said gee, that's a lot of stuff, what's the damage. She gets a sheepish look and says $250 or something. I blew up and said what happened to free??? She said she got the free stuff but then they had other stuff that wasn't free, sooooo. I just walked away and kept to myself for the next 12 hours or so. 

Dude, that should have been parlayed into some super freaky bedroom time with the new lingerie.

  • Hook 'Em 2
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 minutes ago, Sandman said:

Years ago, my wife said she had coupons for free stuff at Victoria's Secret (beach towels IIRC) so she was taking our kids and going up there. I said cool. She comes home with several bags, I said gee, that's a lot of stuff, what's the damage. She gets a sheepish look and says $250 or something. I blew up and said what happened to free??? She said she got the free stuff but then they had other stuff that wasn't free, sooooo. I just walked away and kept to myself for the next 12 hours or so. 

This is my favorite part. Wait they actually sell some items? Interesting business model.

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 minutes ago, Sandman said:

Years ago, my wife said she had coupons for free stuff at Victoria's Secret (beach towels IIRC) so she was taking our kids and going up there. I said cool. She comes home with several bags, I said gee, that's a lot of stuff, what's the damage. She gets a sheepish look and says $250 or something. I blew up and said what happened to free??? She said she got the free stuff but then they had other stuff that wasn't free, sooooo. I just walked away and kept to myself for the next 12 hours or so. 

She spent money on clothes to make her look and feel sexier for you and you got mad about that?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

32 minutes ago, Sandman said:

Years ago, my wife said she had coupons for free stuff at Victoria's Secret (beach towels IIRC) so she was taking our kids and going up there. I said cool. She comes home with several bags, I said gee, that's a lot of stuff, what's the damage. She gets a sheepish look and says $250 or something. I blew up and said what happened to free??? She said she got the free stuff but then they had other stuff that wasn't free, sooooo. I just walked away and kept to myself for the next 12 hours or so. 

The lingerie budget is an entirely different topic.  I thought you'd say why did you take the kids to that store ..."mommy, why are those underwear so small? Mommy why can you see right through that little jacket thing?" ...shit like that. 

  • Drool 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 hours ago, Ojo Rojo said:

My oldest son and the neighbor kid have ongoing Nerf battles with some of the other kids in our neighborhood. They went over to one kid's house and saw his Nerf guns in the open garage.  They thought it would be a good prank to take the guns and hide them around the corner outside of the garage and then do an attack.  It would be a bloodbath where the other kids were scrambling to find their guns while getting Nerf blasted.  Pretty good idea, if you ask me.

Anyway, my wife got a text later that afternoon that said something along the lines of, "Tell your children never to go into my garage and take my children's things again."  No name, no backstory, no nothing.  We called my son in to question him about it.  What happened?  How did the parent get mom's phone number?  He told us the story and fully admitted to going into the garage. He said that the kids' dad came outside and reamed them out and asked for his mother's phone number, which he gave him. My son is naive and doesn't know that it's not cool to go into people's garages without them knowing about it.  So we talked to him about it and I think he got the message.

Meanwhile, my wife is pissed off at this other parent and she starts an angry text back to them.  I see this and tell her, "Please don't do that.  Let me handle it."  We had a short argument about it.  I explained that even if our kid wasn't malicious, he did do something objectively wrong.  I agreed the other parent didn't handle it well, but whatever.  We can't control if other people want to be assholes. She insists on responding. While she's typing she's muttering that the kids from the other house are at our house all the time and in our garage, etc. I just told her, "I know you are going to fuck this up and create enemies unnecessarily."  So now she's pissed off at me.

She finishes her angry text and I ask her what she wrote.  She says, "Hi, my name is Mrs. Ojo Rojo and my son's name is Ojo Rojo, Jr.  I got your text and I am really sorry that our son went into your garage.  We have talked to him and it won't happen again."  I'm thinking, "Okay, that's pretty much what I would have said."  She then continues, "And please tell your children to never come over to our house and play in our playhouse ever again."  I just looked at her incredulously.  "I knew it! Why did you write that? There was no reason to do that! I am so angry with you because you did that!"  A few minutes later she says, "I didn't really write the part about them not coming over the playhouse again."  What!? Then why the fuck would you tell me that!? You knew that would piss me off.  Did you do it just to piss me off?  Her response, "Well isn't that what you wanted to hear?"  What?  Which part?  That you told the neighbors off like a bitch or that you really didn't?  Are you really just trying to make me mad or are you just dumb?  Now we are in a huge fight and I won't get laid until the end of the month.

Username is changing soon to Ojo Negro.

  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

57 minutes ago, Dennis Taylor said:

The lingerie budget is an entirely different topic.  I thought you'd say why did you take the kids to that store ..."mommy, why are those underwear so small? Mommy why can you see right through that little jacket thing?" ...shit like that. 

Mrs. Brat has no sleeping lingerie budget since she sleeps au naturel (no pics, and you can thank me later).  

  • Haha 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, Dennis Taylor said:

The lingerie budget is an entirely different topic.  I thought you'd say why did you take the kids to that store ..."mommy, why are those underwear so small? Mommy why can you see right through that little jacket thing?" ...shit like that. 

My kids were teens at the time, not a big deal. And sadly, no lingerie was purchased. Just regular underwear and bras.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My oldest son and the neighbor kid have ongoing Nerf battles with some of the other kids in our neighborhood. They went over to one kid's house and saw his Nerf guns in the open garage.  They thought it would be a good prank to take the guns and hide them around the corner outside of the garage and then do an attack.  It would be a bloodbath where the other kids were scrambling to find their guns while getting Nerf blasted.  Pretty good idea, if you ask me.
Anyway, my wife got a text later that afternoon that said something along the lines of, "Tell your children never to go into my garage and take my children's things again."  No name, no backstory, no nothing.  We called my son in to question him about it.  What happened?  How did the parent get mom's phone number?  He told us the story and fully admitted to going into the garage. He said that the kids' dad came outside and reamed them out and asked for his mother's phone number, which he gave him. My son is naive and doesn't know that it's not cool to go into people's garages without them knowing about it.  So we talked to him about it and I think he got the message.
Meanwhile, my wife is pissed off at this other parent and she starts an angry text back to them.  I see this and tell her, "Please don't do that.  Let me handle it."  We had a short argument about it.  I explained that even if our kid wasn't malicious, he did do something objectively wrong.  I agreed the other parent didn't handle it well, but whatever.  We can't control if other people want to be assholes. She insists on responding. While she's typing she's muttering that the kids from the other house are at our house all the time and in our garage, etc. I just told her, "I know you are going to fuck this up and create enemies unnecessarily."  So now she's pissed off at me.
She finishes her angry text and I ask her what she wrote.  She says, "Hi, my name is Mrs. Ojo Rojo and my son's name is Ojo Rojo, Jr.  I got your text and I am really sorry that our son went into your garage.  We have talked to him and it won't happen again."  I'm thinking, "Okay, that's pretty much what I would have said."  She then continues, "And please tell your children to never come over to our house and play in our playhouse ever again."  I just looked at her incredulously.  "I knew it! Why did you write that? There was no reason to do that! I am so angry with you because you did that!"  A few minutes later she says, "I didn't really write the part about them not coming over the playhouse again."  What!? Then why the fuck would you tell me that!? You knew that would piss me off.  Did you do it just to piss me off?  Her response, "Well isn't that what you wanted to hear?"  What?  Which part?  That you told the neighbors off like a bitch or that you really didn't?  Are you really just trying to make me mad or are you just dumb?  Now we are in a huge fight and I won't get laid until the end of the month.
Did you actually see the text on her phone or is that what she said she sent?

Wouldn't surprise me if she actually sent it, but then told you she didn't to try to appear less bitchy.
  • Hook 'Em 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

My wife also has a tendency to go in heavy handed if she feels slighted or feels like someone is casting aspersions on one of the kids.  I’ve tried to tell her to give the other person the benefit of the doubt, take the high road, etc, to only limited success. 

My ex was like this. I watched her chew a random lady out on the sidewalk in front of dog day care once because she apparently parked somewhere you know who thought she shouldn’t have.

I don’t miss that shit. At. All.
  • Hook 'Em 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

21 hours ago, Ojo Rojo said:

My oldest son and the neighbor kid have ongoing Nerf battles with some of the other kids in our neighborhood. They went over to one kid's house and saw his Nerf guns in the open garage.  They thought it would be a good prank to take the guns and hide them around the corner outside of the garage and then do an attack.  It would be a bloodbath where the other kids were scrambling to find their guns while getting Nerf blasted.  Pretty good idea, if you ask me.

Anyway, my wife got a text later that afternoon that said something along the lines of, "Tell your children never to go into my garage and take my children's things again."  No name, no backstory, no nothing.  We called my son in to question him about it.  What happened?  How did the parent get mom's phone number?  He told us the story and fully admitted to going into the garage. He said that the kids' dad came outside and reamed them out and asked for his mother's phone number, which he gave him. My son is naive and doesn't know that it's not cool to go into people's garages without them knowing about it.  So we talked to him about it and I think he got the message.

Meanwhile, my wife is pissed off at this other parent and she starts an angry text back to them.  I see this and tell her, "Please don't do that.  Let me handle it."  We had a short argument about it.  I explained that even if our kid wasn't malicious, he did do something objectively wrong.  I agreed the other parent didn't handle it well, but whatever.  We can't control if other people want to be assholes. She insists on responding. While she's typing she's muttering that the kids from the other house are at our house all the time and in our garage, etc. I just told her, "I know you are going to fuck this up and create enemies unnecessarily."  So now she's pissed off at me.

She finishes her angry text and I ask her what she wrote.  She says, "Hi, my name is Mrs. Ojo Rojo and my son's name is Ojo Rojo, Jr.  I got your text and I am really sorry that our son went into your garage.  We have talked to him and it won't happen again."  I'm thinking, "Okay, that's pretty much what I would have said."  She then continues, "And please tell your children to never come over to our house and play in our playhouse ever again."  I just looked at her incredulously.  "I knew it! Why did you write that? There was no reason to do that! I am so angry with you because you did that!"  A few minutes later she says, "I didn't really write the part about them not coming over the playhouse again."  What!? Then why the fuck would you tell me that!? You knew that would piss me off.  Did you do it just to piss me off?  Her response, "Well isn't that what you wanted to hear?"  What?  Which part?  That you told the neighbors off like a bitch or that you really didn't?  Are you really just trying to make me mad or are you just dumb?  Now we are in a huge fight and I won't get laid until the end of the month.

That other dad is a bitch ass pussy.  

  • Hook 'Em 4
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

13 hours ago, Modessit said:

Did you actually see the text on her phone or is that what she said she sent?

Wouldn't surprise me if she actually sent it, but then told you she didn't to try to appear less bitchy.

She paraphrased the text after I asked her what she sent.  I didn't see it.  She offered to show it to me, but I was too pissed off at that point and told her I didn't want to see it.  So I don't actually know if she sent the shitty part of the text or not.  Either way, if she sent it or just told me she did, she done wrong.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

20 hours ago, Wade said:

Don't think I agree here.  Dude didn't trust his wife to handle the situation professionally, so she fucked with him a bit.  I would have taken it with humor, but whatever.

Also, that neighbor guy is an asshole.  Not sure I'd want my kid hanging with his anyway.

If she lied to me about sending the aggressive part of the text to fuck with me for doubting her I would actually give her a ton of credit for that. That's not what she was doing.  And if she was, she really failed to read the room.

  • Hook 'Em 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, Snake Diggity said:

That other dad is a bitch ass pussy.  

This.  Shit, neighborhood kids having Nerf battles with each other is exactly the neighborhood you want. This is a good time to explain to your kid that some people are assholes. 
 

Wife’s response was mildly funny in my book, for sure better than pouting or nagging about how she felt. 

  • Hook 'Em 5
  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.



×
×
  • Create New...