Trivial Things That Make You Surly

[elfenix 34161]

10 hours ago, Armybrat said:

I had a serious incident this morning.

first off I am ok. I was a little shaken up this morning as I was robbed at the shell gas station in Round Rock. 

. After my hands stopped trembling I managed to call the police. They were quick to respond and calmed me down. My money is all gone. The police asked me if I knew who did it. I said yes...

It was pump number 3.

 

damnit brat you had me going

[Js1 84994]

18 hours ago, Armybrat said:

I had a serious incident this morning.

first off I am ok. I was a little shaken up this morning as I was robbed at the shell gas station in Round Rock. 

. After my hands stopped trembling I managed to call the police. They were quick to respond and calmed me down. My money is all gone. The police asked me if I knew who did it. I said yes...

It was pump number 3.

You should credit Ice T for that from 2 days ago 

Edited March 26, 2022 by Js1

[Armybrat 40648]

27 minutes ago, Js1 said:

You should credit Ice T for that from 2 days ago 

Actually I stole it from Dustnchips on the Kahrtalk.forum.

[Patricio Swayze 17058]

My wife pours the milk into the bowl first, then the cereal. Have I married a communist?

[SilasCoade 2620]

She's a genius. I mean, maybe more risk of splashing milk when pouring the cereal in, but if you pour the milk and put it away first, adding the cereal second minimizes the time your delicious crunchy cereal spends getting soggy and disgusting.

[General Specific 3213]

Actually I stole it from Dustnchips on the Kahrtalk.forum.

[Underdog 28391]

5 hours ago, Patricio Swayze said:

My wife pours the milk into the bowl first, then the cereal. Have I married a communist?

[WhatTheBuck 28696]

6 hours ago, Patricio Swayze said:

My wife pours the milk into the bowl first, then the cereal. Have I married a communist?

Wtf?

[Guest Lobo]

6 hours ago, Patricio Swayze said:

My wife pours the milk into the bowl first, then the cereal. Have I married a communist?

You married a 7 year old? 

[CooterBrown 17851]

You married a 7 year old? 

I think so. The only logic for this is you’re eating Fruity Pebbles and you only have about 10 seconds before it becomes the texture of vomit. You can’t put the milk away in the fridge fast enough before this happens. Kid logic would have you pouring the milk and putting it away before adding the cereal to avoid this.

I’ve thought too much about this.

[Patricio Swayze 17058]

My major problem is I want a very specific amount of milk per bowl. I feel I can control my milk to cereal ratio better once I have poured the cereal first.

I don’t want my kids picking up this unsettling habit from my wife.

[WhatTheBuck 28696]

15 minutes ago, CooterBrown said:

I think so. The only logic for this is you’re eating Fruity Pebbles and you only have about 10 seconds before it becomes the texture of vomit. You can’t put the milk away in the fridge fast enough before this happens. Kid logic would have you pouring the milk and putting it away before adding the cereal to avoid this.

I’ve thought too much about this.

That’s ridiculous. If you’re arguing that you’re wasting precious time putting the milk carton back in the fridge then you’re basically arguing that you want three bites of crunchy Fruity Pebbles instead of two. Better make sure you pour your cereal at the table and not the counter so you don’t waste a second moving it from one place to the other. And the milk would survive outside the fridge for the few minutes it takes to eat a bowl of Fruity Pebbles.

Oh, I’ve thought about this too. Let’s stick with the Fruity Pebbles paradigm. How much milk does she pour in the bowl? Fruity Pebbles float. How does she manage cereal-to-milk ratio when the Pebbles all sit on top of the milk? Do they spill off the side of the bowl or is she not using enough milk? Does she wind up adding more milk later? Or more Pebbles?

What if it’s not Fruity Pebbles but it’s Cheerios and she’s adding strawberries and sugar? How would that work? And where did she learn this milk first practice in the first place?

She must be hot as hell because her approach to cereal is an abomination. 

[WhatTheBuck 28696]

2 minutes ago, Patricio Swayze said:

My major problem is I want a very specific amount of milk per bowl. I feel I can control my milk to cereal ratio better once I have poured the cereal first.

Well of course you do. Because you’re not a crazy person.

You just married one. 

[Guest]

Walk up to counter at oil change place that closes at 7PM.  It is 6:22PM with nobody in line and nobody in the bays.

"Can I get an oil change?"

"It's getting close to closing..."

" Well, i know it's 7 and nobody is ahead of me."

" The guys are cleaning the bays"

"Do you close at 7 or 6?  All I need is an answer, yes or no."

" We'll do it."

 

Beard of Zeus.  Sorry to impose on you, motherfucker...  Then when I check out, it's like the toughest ordeal of their day.

I know the owner.  Debating whether to write it off as a bad day for his crew or let him know they were surly AF...  I didn't say shit about knowing him during the exchange because that is bullshit, IMHO.

Edited March 27, 2022 by slorch

[conVINCEd 21468]

1 hour ago, WhatTheBuck said:

That’s ridiculous. If you’re arguing that you’re wasting precious time putting the milk carton back in the fridge then you’re basically arguing that you want three bites of crunchy Fruity Pebbles instead of two. Better make sure you pour your cereal at the table and not the counter so you don’t waste a second moving it from one place to the other. And the milk would survive outside the fridge for the few minutes it takes to eat a bowl of Fruity Pebbles.

Oh, I’ve thought about this too. Let’s stick with the Fruity Pebbles paradigm. How much milk does she pour in the bowl? Fruity Pebbles float. How does she manage cereal-to-milk ratio when the Pebbles all sit on top of the milk? Do they spill off the side of the bowl or is she not using enough milk? Does she wind up adding more milk later? Or more Pebbles?

What if it’s not Fruity Pebbles but it’s Cheerios and she’s adding strawberries and sugar? How would that work? And where did she learn this milk first practice in the first place?

She must be hot as hell because her approach to cereal is an abomination. 

Strawberries?  Bananas or GTFO.

[CooterBrown 17851]

Walk up to counter at oil change place that closes at 7PM.  It is 6:22PM with nobody in line and nobody in the bays.
"Can I get an oil change?"
"It's getting close to closing..."
" Well, i know it's 7 and nobody is ahead of me."
" The guys are cleaning the bays"
"Do you close at 7 or 6?  All I need is an answer, yes or no."
" We'll do it."
 
Beard of Zeus.  Sorry to impose on you, motherfucker...  Then when I check out, it's like the toughest ordeal of their day.
I know the owner.  Debating whether to write it off as a bad day for his crew or let him know they were surly AF...  I didn't say shit about knowing him during the exchange because that is bullshit, IMHO.

Hopefully they tightened that oil pan screw.

[Sam Lin 3539]

Oh they did, just past where they felt the threads start to yield. You just lost the war.

[nnm 35899]

4 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Well of course you do. Because you’re not a crazy person.

You just married one. 

We all did. 

[General Specific 3213]

We all did. 

Wait, which thread am I in?

[ChickenSandwich 9795]

The coordinated effort by the NCAA and media partners to try to trick you into accidentally tuning into a woman’s game or Opening an article to read. 
 

The TV guide was changed to remove men/women from the description. Both listed simultaneously as “1st 4” ESPN has done the same on their print articles. You may get a few extra clicks and false DVR recordings to brag about, but this isn’t “growing” the sport/audience. 
 

The most obvious path for success for woman’s sports to to get women to actually care about it and actually consume/watch it. 

Edited March 27, 2022 by ChickenSandwich

[Underdog 28391]

Love me some IHOP pancakes but pisses me off when they put them on a plate the size of a coffee cup saucer plate.  I’ll just make a mess with the syrup and I’m very minimalistic with the syrup. 

[WhatTheBuck 28696]

Shit! I meant to make red beans & rice today but I forgot to soak my beans last night. Oh well, I guess it’s a traditional Monday dish anyway. But that bell pepper isn’t getting any younger. It’s starting to show a little wrinkle. And no, I’m not the sort to try to rush things with a pressure cooker. Those beans are going to get a good long soak. 

[nnm 35899]

8 hours ago, ChickenSandwich said:

The coordinated effort by the NCAA and media partners to try to trick you into accidentally tuning into a woman’s game or Opening an article to read. 
 

The TV guide was changed to remove men/women from the description. Both listed simultaneously as “1st 4” ESPN has done the same on their print articles. You may get a few extra clicks and false DVR recordings to brag about, but this isn’t “growing” the sport/audience. 
 

The most obvious path for success for woman’s sports to to get women to actually care about it and actually consume/watch it. 

This happened to me on YouTube tv last week. And the stupid Allstate commercial—40% of NCAA athletes are women and they receive 10% of the coverage. Yes, because no one wants to watch inferior athletes play the same game. They’ve been shoving this stuff down our throats for decades and we still don’t care. And we never will. 

[52-80 19047]

the colloquial anglo abbreviation for a cup of tea/coffee being "cuppa", and the modern pan-english one for espresso being "spro".

 

ugh. 

[ztejas 43190]

On 3/26/2022 at 7:20 PM, slorch said:

Walk up to counter at oil change place that closes at 7PM.  It is 6:22PM with nobody in line and nobody in the bays.

"Can I get an oil change?"

"It's getting close to closing..."

" Well, i know it's 7 and nobody is ahead of me."

" The guys are cleaning the bays"

"Do you close at 7 or 6?  All I need is an answer, yes or no."

" We'll do it."

 

Beard of Zeus.  Sorry to impose on you, motherfucker...  Then when I check out, it's like the toughest ordeal of their day.

I know the owner.  Debating whether to write it off as a bad day for his crew or let him know they were surly AF...  I didn't say shit about knowing him during the exchange because that is bullshit, IMHO.

Oh I would for sure let him know. 40 minutes before close? That's some bullshit. The older I get the less patience I have for people that decide it's okay to either not do their job or do a shitty job of it when it's immediately obvious that's what they're doing. 

Case in point - grabbing a burger the other night. Ask for it the way it comes plus grilled onions and pickles (super standard order I make all the time). Have it repeated back "cheeseburger add onions and pickles". I gently correct her "grilled onions". This is acknowledged. 

Get to the window, get my receipt.

ADD

PICKLES

ONIONS

Motherfucker. 

Now, it's super busy, I'm hungry, I don't feel like making an issue about it because then I'M waiting longer and also making multiple different people's jobs more difficult - but, you know what's easier than that? You taking 5 fucking seconds to fix it after I told you to fix it. Or, if you don't know how to fix it, asking someone to then learn how to do your fucking job. Not choosing not to fix it because you figure it isn't your problem and you'll get away with it anyway. 

I know you're paid well for what you do. They plainly advertise it on the door. I also used to work there in high school - and let me tell you sister, it's super fucking easy.

[nnm 35899]

1 hour ago, ztejas said:

Oh I would for sure let him know. 40 minutes before close? That's some bullshit. The older I get the less patience I have for people that decide it's okay to either not do their job or do a shitty job of it when it's immediately obvious that's what they're doing. 

Case in point - grabbing a burger the other night. Ask for it the way it comes plus grilled onions and pickles (super standard order I make all the time). Have it repeated back "cheeseburger add onions and pickles". I gently correct her "grilled onions". This is acknowledged. 

Get to the window, get my receipt.

ADD

PICKLES

ONIONS

Motherfucker. 

Now, it's super busy, I'm hungry, I don't feel like making an issue about it because then I'M waiting longer and also making multiple different people's jobs more difficult - but, you know what's easier than that? You taking 5 fucking seconds to fix it after I told you to fix it. Or, if you don't know how to fix it, asking someone to then learn how to do your fucking job. Not choosing not to fix it because you figure it isn't your problem and you'll get away with it anyway. 

I know you're paid well for what you do. They plainly advertise it on the door. I also used to work there in high school - and let me tell you sister, it's super fucking easy.

Would have been better if they left the onions off altogether. Devil’s weed, as far as I’m concerned. 

[SHOOTER12 8782]

On 3/27/2022 at 1:07 PM, WhatTheBuck said:

Shit! I meant to make red beans & rice today but I forgot to soak my beans last night. Oh well, I guess it’s a traditional Monday dish anyway. But that bell pepper isn’t getting any younger. It’s starting to show a little wrinkle. And no, I’m not the sort to try to rush things with a pressure cooker. Those beans are going to get a good long soak. 

Only fucking rookies need to soak their bean

[elfenix 34161]

someone decided to use fedex to ship a package to my po box.  obviously, fedex doesn't do that.  yesterday fedex called and left a message to have me update the address.  i call and get it updated.  or so i think.  later, i get another call from fedex, update the address again, and i was told it would be delivered today. 

today rolls around and it wasn't delivered.  5 minutes ago i get a call from fedex, get the explanation that they can't deliver to a po box, and ask for a street address.  again.  so i give that, hang up, and barely get back to my podcast before i get another call from fedex.  after i rant a bit about fred smith must have needed to go if fedex can't get an address straightened out, the guy says it'll be delivered tomorrow, to an address down the street and the wrong suite number. 

🤬

Edited March 30, 2022 by elfenix

[WhatTheBuck 28696]

1 hour ago, SHOOTER12 said:

Only fucking rookies need to soak their bean

I soaked you mom’s bean last night.

[tigol 2382]

The phrase, "All the Things" being used in emails or meetings as a passive-aggressive victim status.  Fuck you.  Name the things and delegate.  This isn't kindergarten.

Meetings that do not start on time and do not end on time.

Abbreviations that should be obvious but aren't.  Fuck you if I have to google your lazy typing.

I need to fire some fucksticks.

 

[Cheeseweasel 26437]

13 hours ago, tigol said:

The phrase, "All the Things" being used in emails or meetings as a passive-aggressive victim status. 

Hadn't seen that. Example?

[tigol 2382]

Hadn't seen that. Example?

Well, I was in a meeting the other day and we were going over assignments. On person felt (I assume) singled out and said”So, I’m responsible for…..All the Things.” Cringeworthy at the time.

[Cheeseweasel 26437]

1 hour ago, tigol said:

Well, I was in a meeting the other day and we were going over assignments. On person felt (I assume) singled out and said”So, I’m responsible for…..All the Things.” Cringeworthy at the time.

Ugh. I hope you bitch slapped them.

[956 Worldwide 34241]

1 hour ago, tigol said:

Well, I was in a meeting the other day and we were going over assignments. On person felt (I assume) singled out and said”So, I’m responsible for…..All the Things.” Cringeworthy at the time.

This is cringe and he or she needs a talking to about not using internet language in real life.

That said, I find that when people talk about their assignments or responsibilities in meetings, the more they explain the less they do. 
 

Makes me surly: Standing meetings with no forward looking agenda they are just a chance for people to talk about what they did. 

[Antidean 200]

On 3/29/2022 at 7:52 PM, elfenix said:

someone decided to use fedex to ship a package to my po box.  obviously, fedex doesn't do that.  yesterday fedex called and left a message to have me update the address.  i call and get it updated.  or so i think.  later, i get another call from fedex, update the address again, and i was told it would be delivered today. 

today rolls around and it wasn't delivered.  5 minutes ago i get a call from fedex, get the explanation that they can't deliver to a po box, and ask for a street address.  again.  so i give that, hang up, and barely get back to my podcast before i get another call from fedex.  after i rant a bit about fred smith must have needed to go if fedex can't get an address straightened out, the guy says it'll be delivered tomorrow, to an address down the street and the wrong suite number. 

🤬

Had to replace a part on my TV so ordered it online. Got Fedex notification that it had been delivered.

Me: Got home from work and asked wife (no pics) where the delivered part was?

Wife: Nothing delivered today

Me: Are you sure? I have a delivery notification

Wife: I'm sure, I was working in the flower bed out front all day.

Called Fedex and told them they must have delivered to the wrong house. They took my info (address, home color, etc..) and said they would investigate.

I called the next day and they told me to file a claim for lost package and it would take 2-3 weeks to process.

The very next fucking day I received an email from them saying "Claim Denied"

 Now I scream "FUCK YOU" to every Fedex driver that comes through my neighborhood.

 

[deadshank 24648]

On 3/29/2022 at 9:34 PM, WhatTheBuck said:

I soaked you mom’s bean last night.

By candlelight, no less. 

[elfenix 34161]

update: fedex finally delivered my stuff to me.  but they printed a second label and slapped that on something that wasn't mine and delivered that to me as well.  and it isn't even something cool, just a deposition transcript. 

[WhatTheBuck 28696]

24 minutes ago, deadshank said:

By candlelight, no less. 

Chicks dig that.

[Cheeseweasel 26437]

22 minutes ago, elfenix said:

update: fedex finally delivered my stuff to me.  but they printed a second label and slapped that on something that wasn't mine and delivered that to me as well.  and it isn't even something cool, just a deposition transcript. 

Post it. Anything about treefiddy? peeing in butts?

[NeverMarryAStripper 21780]

Fuck people in shitty ass pickups with paper plates driving on the freeway loaded up with crap they picked from people’s garbage with nothing securing their mountain of trash.

[conVINCEd 21468]

2 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Fuck people in shitty ass pickups with paper plates driving on the freeway loaded up with crap they picked from people’s garbage with nothing securing their mountain of trash.

That ain’t trivial.

[Macanudo 12917]

1.  People who wait for a parking spot while someone else loads their car when there is a free spot 3-4 spots back.   

2.   People who  think that a meeting "has to" last the length of time it was booked for.  Motherfucker, if we finish in 18 minutes but it was scheduled for 30, we don't have to discuss other issues not related to this,  jibner jabber just to kill time or try and link other tasks not even remotely connected to the original meeting to it.  

[Brisketexan 104226]

1.  People who wait for a parking spot while someone else loads their car when there is a free spot 3-4 spots back.   
2.   People who  think that a meeting "has to" last the length of time it was booked for.  Motherfucker, if we finish in 18 minutes but it was scheduled for 30, we don't have to discuss other issues not related to this,  jibner jabber just to kill time or try and link other tasks not even remotely connected to the original meeting to it.  

Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays.

[DigglerontheHoof 20963]

8 hours ago, Macanudo said:

1.  People who wait for a parking spot while someone else loads their car when there is a free spot 3-4 spots back.   

2.   People who  think that a meeting "has to" last the length of time it was booked for.  Motherfucker, if we finish in 18 minutes but it was scheduled for 30, we don't have to discuss other issues not related to this,  jibner jabber just to kill time or try and link other tasks not even remotely connected to the original meeting to it.  

Rage inducing and it happens all the fucking time.

[Al_4_ISU 12394]

9 hours ago, Macanudo said:

1.  People who wait for a parking spot while someone else loads their car when there is a free spot 3-4 spots back.   

2.   People who  think that a meeting "has to" last the length of time it was booked for.  Motherfucker, if we finish in 18 minutes but it was scheduled for 30, we don't have to discuss other issues not related to this,  jibner jabber just to kill time or try and link other tasks not even remotely connected to the original meeting to it.  

My wife has always been obsessed with taking irrational measures to get the closest possible parking spot, and it's always annoyed me.

2 weeks ago, her dad is riding with me on our way to dinner, and I park about 100' from the front door of the restaurant, in the first available spot I come to because it's 100' and we're both able bodied adults.  He complains that there's a spot closer to the door (which I know is a handicapped spot).  He argues about it as we walk to the door until he sees it's a handicapped spot.

So at least I figured out where it comes from.

On the second part, while I have no experience with corporate America, I'm on the local volunteer FD and there are certain classes all first responders are required to take on an annual basis.  The Haz-Mat class in particular is supposed to be 4 hours, but depending on the instructor I've seen it done in 1.5 hours.  It completely comes down to how big of a hard on (and as you can imagine, volunteer EMS/first responder ranks are FULL of wannabe badasses) the instructor is.  Some folks get that people's time is valuable, and some people like to hear themselves talk.

Edited April 5, 2022 by Al_4_ISU

[Cheeseweasel 26437]

3 hours ago, Al_4_ISU said:

My wife has always been obsessed with taking irrational measures to get the closest possible parking spot, and it's always annoyed me.

[NWBuck 8536]

14 hours ago, Macanudo said:

People who  think that a meeting "has to" last the length of time it was booked for.  Motherfucker, if we finish in 18 minutes but it was scheduled for 30, we don't have to discuss other issues not related to this,  jibner jabber just to kill time or try and link other tasks not even remotely connected to the original meeting to it.  

This. There's a difference between having something to say and 'having to say something'.

[Superhero 8699]

5 hours ago, Al_4_ISU said:

On the second part, while I have no experience with corporate America, I'm on the local volunteer FD and there are certain classes all first responders are required to take on an annual basis.  The Haz-Mat class in particular is supposed to be 4 hours, but depending on the instructor I've seen it done in 1.5 hours.  It completely comes down to how big of a hard on (and as you can imagine, volunteer EMS/first responder ranks are FULL of wannabe badasses) the instructor is.  Some folks get that people's time is valuable, and some people like to hear themselves talk.

We had a CPR class last week. It took the instructor 4 hours to teach the class - use both hands to compressive their chest. The rhythm should follow the beat of the BeeGee classic "Staying Alive".

FWIW, "Another One Bites The Dust" has an almost identical beat.

[Js1 84994]

1 hour ago, NWBuck said:

This. There's a difference between having something to say and 'having to say something'.

My boss' go-to is "I'm going to give you your time back" 

The time you stole from me scheduling 30 minutes for a 10 minute meeting. 

[Al_4_ISU 12394]

3 minutes ago, Superhero said:

We had a CPR class last week. It took the instructor 4 hours to teach the class - use both hands to compressive their chest. The rhythm should follow the beat of the BeeGee classic "Staying Alive".

FWIW, "Another One Bites The Dust" has an almost identical beat.

4 hours for CPR?  We usually get the entire department recertified on that in like 1.5 hours.  Talking 25-30 people here.

I feel your pain.