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Trivial things that make you surly


elfenix

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On 4/11/2022 at 9:40 PM, Deej said:

Lemons are five for a dollar at the Mexican market by my house. Granted, they are smaller than the limes. 

 

I think those are just limes that aren't ripe yet.

 

 

Also, speaking of dogs in public places: Some Karen brought her fat ass and her fat ass dog into the hardware store the other day which resulted in a fucking log jam of idiots who have apparently never seen a dog before and have children that apparently have never been able to pet a dog before. Of course, the fat ass dog, its fucking Karen of an owner, and all the slack jawed morons were completely blocking the paint brush display.

I finally just pushed past everyone and grabbed the paint brush I needed. Karen said in a sarcastic way "Oh, I'm sorry, are we in your way?" I replied, "yes, yes you are."

 

 

 

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fucking bass pro shop checkout process.  log into my account.  for some reason only my PO box is listed in addresses, even though i've previously given them my office address for delivery. so i proceed to type in my office address, including adding the optional second address line for the suite number.  then i get a popup asking if i'd like to correct the address to the same one but without the suite number.  why the fuck would i want that?  then i go to payment, and i want to do paypal so that i can use a card i don't have on me.  log into paypal, it shoots me back over to bass pro shops, which promptly blows out the office address for shipping and replaces it with my PO box, so i have to do step 1 all over again.  fuckers. 

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I’m really thinking about getting an emotional support leopard.  They can be had for less than a lab with a good pedigree, and people would pretty much leave you the fuck alone, aside from the Indian guys who would try to gang rape ir.

I’m sorry, you said leopard, not monitor lizard, so you get no points.
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Just now, Brisketexan said:


I’m sorry, you said leopard, not monitor lizard, so you get no points.

I was shooting from the hip.  I hold the leopard in high regard as the most all-around bad ass animal on our planet, but if I was gonna go reptile, I would go Komodo dragon, which are the larger, more badass cousins of the monitor lizards, and have yet to be raped by humans.

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I was shooting from the hip.  I hold the leopard in high regard as the most all-around bad ass animal on our planet, but if I was gonna go reptile, I would go Komodo dragon, which are the larger, more badass cousins of the monitor lizards, and have yet to be raped by humans.

….that we know of.

Shit goes down that you don’t know about. And never want to.
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2 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:


….that we know of.

Shit goes down that you don’t know about. And never want to.

Fair.  If you would like to try to violate a Komodo dragon I would be happy to watch from a safe distance.  I would probably get ten million views on youtube if I posted the video.  Probably wouldn’t end well for you, but likes on social media currently have more value than your physical well being.

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I flew San Fran to Austin last year sitting next to an extremely hot blond who was really cool and had a golden retriever with her.  That dog just laid on the floor at her feet the whole flight.  The woman dropped one of her apple ear phone things and it went between the seat and the wall next to her as she had the window.  We had a seat between us so I very much enjoyed watching her try to get that thing out as her perfect ass was basically in my face for about 15 minutes.

Very enjoyable flight all told.  Sweet dog too.

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28 minutes ago, Felix said:

I flew San Fran to Austin last year sitting next to an extremely hot blond who was really cool and had a golden retriever with her.  That dog just laid on the floor at her feet the whole flight.  The woman dropped one of her apple ear phone things and it went between the seat and the wall next to her as she had the window.  We had a seat between us so I very much enjoyed watching her try to get that thing out as her perfect ass was basically in my face for about 15 minutes.

Very enjoyable flight all told.  Sweet dog too.

Thanks for sharing the pics 

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Sitting at the post office waiting for my wife so we could get my son's passport. 

 

We had an appointment for 8:30 at the post office near our house. We arrived 10 minutes early, only for them to say they aren't processing passports because "they're really busy". Fuck you and your appointment. They told us to go to another PO.

In the mean time, my wife had to go home for a meeting and can't get here until 9:50 at the earliest.

Now I'm here waiting with my son killing time because the fucking post office can't get their shit together.

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9 hours ago, Superhero said:

Sitting at the post office waiting for my wife so we could get my son's passport. 

 

We had an appointment for 8:30 at the post office near our house. We arrived 10 minutes early, only for them to say they aren't processing passports because "they're really busy". Fuck you and your appointment. They told us to go to another PO.

In the mean time, my wife had to go home for a meeting and can't get here until 9:50 at the earliest.

Now I'm here waiting with my son killing time because the fucking post office can't get their shit together.

Agent:
I think I know why we have reservations.

Jerry:
I don't think you do. You see, you know how to *take* the reservation, you just don't know how to *hold* the reservation. And that's really the most important part of the reservation: the holding. Anybody can just take them.

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4 hours ago, Nolacycling said:

I detest the style reporters have now of asking questions that take a long time to set up so they keep their air time.

I’m not sure what that means. Keep their air time? The air time should be for the answer, not the question.

What annoys me is when an inexperienced reporter asks a question and then follows it up by asking if it’s A, B, or C, and giving the interviewee an easy out. Just ask the question and let them answer it. Don’t give them a menu of possible answers. I see that a lot when reporters are interviewing coaches. 

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On 4/15/2022 at 11:28 AM, Superhero said:

Sitting at the post office waiting for my wife so we could get my son's passport. 

 

We had an appointment for 8:30 at the post office near our house. We arrived 10 minutes early, only for them to say they aren't processing passports because "they're really busy". Fuck you and your appointment. They told us to go to another PO.

In the mean time, my wife had to go home for a meeting and can't get here until 9:50 at the earliest.

Now I'm here waiting with my son killing time because the fucking post office can't get their shit together.

Fuck the post office. I may have told this story here before so sorry in advance. My parents got fucked out of their property tax protest appointment. Appraisal district told them their appointment was cancelled due to no show and the values would not change. The letter they mailed out came back as undeliverable per the USPS. You wanna know their mailing address for the property? A motherfucking PO box. How the fuck can mail to a PO box be undeliverable? 

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2 hours ago, HRSchenker said:

Fuck the post office. I may have told this story here before so sorry in advance. My parents got fucked out of their property tax protest appointment. Appraisal district told them their appointment was cancelled due to no show and the values would not change. The letter they mailed out came back as undeliverable per the USPS. You wanna know their mailing address for the property? A motherfucking PO box. How the fuck can mail to a PO box be undeliverable? 

The last time I mailed a bunch of shit at one time was wedding invitations several years ago.  Decent sample size.  About 90% reached their intended destination.

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Going west down the big hill on 360 towards MoPac - some chick has her car stopped in the middle lane with her hazards on and her hood up fucking up traffic. 

Has her car stopped in the middle lane going... downhill.

Hey here's an idea - put your car in neutral and coast into the parking lot on your right 200 feet in front of you. You don't need your car running to get the fuck out of everyone's way. 

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15 hours ago, ztejas said:

Going west down the big hill on 360 towards MoPac - some chick has her car stopped in the middle lane with her hazards on and her hood up fucking up traffic. 

Has her car stopped in the middle lane going... downhill.

Hey here's an idea - put your car in neutral and coast into the parking lot on your right 200 feet in front of you. You don't need your car running to get the fuck out of everyone's way. 

I was buying what you were selling until you said the hood was up.  There isn’t a woman on the planet that would 1) know how to open the hood, and 2)actually do it to try and diagnose a mechanical problem.

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13 hours ago, conVINCEd said:

I was buying what you were selling until you said the hood was up.  There isn’t a woman on the planet that would 1) know how to open the hood, and 2)actually do it to try and diagnose a mechanical problem.

PictureLux-Alamy-1.jpg

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So maybe it's a cultural thing, but growing up I was never even made aware of chewing noises when eating.  Until I met my wife who's sooooo adversed to it she's misophobic.

 

Anyway, now that my parents are staying with us for a long while, I can't get the sound of my dad's incessant chewing, smacking, and food swallowing out of my head.  He's also got dentures and does the weird playing around thing with it (like Stephen Curry with his mouthpiece) and it's doing my head in.

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10 minutes ago, Llogg said:

I broke up with a girl strictly because her smacking while eating was so disgusting. One of the few peeves I inherited from my dad that I've held onto.

He's mostly chewing with his mouth closed.  It's on every 5th chew or so, it's like his palate has to come out for air.  And I don't have it in me to tell a septuagenarian that he's been 'eating wrong' his entire life.

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