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The Batshit Insane QAnon Conspiracy Theory

Hugo Stiglitz

By Hugo Stiglitz
in Cloak Room

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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I would imagine the second craziest part of coming out of hiding after 20 years for JFK, Jr. is realizing you're the anointed leader of the most insane fucking movement since Nazism by people who decided you'll save them from a global cabal of child cannibals.  The first craziest part is that Julia Louis-Dreyfus is a hotter piece of ass now than she was during "The Contest" episode, filmed 30 years ago.  

Also, I found a photo of Mick Jagger with a Monkey.  But I'm not going to post it because "those people" will find me.  Can we once and for fucking all, just have a 48-hour safe space day for Qanon people on here?  

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Herpa Derpa

Herpa Derpa 6084

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On 11/2/2021 at 8:55 PM, Lobo said:

Why latch onto their "conservative" movement to a family that was fiscally conservative, but very progressive in many other respects?

Because these are simple patriots. These are people of real land. The common clay of the New Republic. You know, Qtards.

 

On 11/2/2021 at 9:42 PM, TwiceHorn said:

I guess I shouldn't say anything about the  . . . big lizard in my back yard.

Wait until they hear what the queers are doing to the soil.

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Guest Lobo

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Okay, we were all just fucking about earlier this week with the Rolling Stones/Monkeys/JFK Jr. in Dallas thing, right?  You guys weren't actually serious?  

I thought we were all just tossing out silly shit.  The Rolling Stones are in on this now?  

I mean...I don't wanna point fingers.  But if anybody is NOT trying to stop the consumption of baby blood to remain immortal, it's the fucking Rolling Stones.  

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atomheartbevo

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Posted
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4 hours ago, Herpa Derpa said:

Wait until they hear what the queers are doing to the soil.

Yeah, the "homo agenda" is a big thing with the Qanons.  Very fascinating, given how many of them are incels and/or could easily be closeted, but are too ashamed to come out (which is actually very unfortunate and tragic).  When my qanon-in-law brought up the "homo agenda", I asked her to define this "homo agenda" and she stumbled around and basically used the same definition the evangelicals use - basically trying to normalize the concept of being gay (and she couldn't defend that) along with trying to convert heterosexuals to homosexuals.  All I could think of was the The Onion article about it.

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Also, qanon in-law went off on several of her relatives on FB for mentioning where to get their kids vaccinated for COVID, and she threw out the shit about sterility/infertility (which was cut-and-pasted from the HPV crap of a decade ago) and about covid was created to make the pharmas a bunch of money.

I got her to openly admit that it's mostly liberals and educated people getting their kids vaccinated.

I then asked her that if it was a big liberal plot meant to cause infertility, why was it mostly liberals/educated folks getting their kids vaccinated, since, in theory, the non-vaccine types on the right would outbreed the sterile/infertile liberals.

Yeah, looking forward to the answer on that one.

 

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Posted
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3 hours ago, Lobo said:

Okay, we were all just fucking about earlier this week with the Rolling Stones/Monkeys/JFK Jr. in Dallas thing, right?  You guys weren't actually serious?  

I thought we were all just tossing out silly shit.  The Rolling Stones are in on this now?  

I mean...I don't wanna point fingers.  But if anybody is NOT trying to stop the consumption of baby blood to remain immortal, it's the fucking Rolling Stones.  

Bagging on my qanon in-law some more, she claimed that the JFK Jr Qanon fans in Dallas were not actually Q followers, because the "official" Q outlets were disavowing it.

I told her she doesn't get to pick and choose who follows the Q shit, and she doesn't get to play the "No True Scotsman" fallacy card either.

But it does tell me that some of them are at least self-aware that they look like fucking morons.

 

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hookemATL

hookemATL 11496

Posted
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1 hour ago, Longhorn_Fan68 said:

can anyone translate from q-gibberish?

"I am so goddamned sad I cry while ejaculating.  Trump is my spirit animal.  Im not allowed within 1000 feet of any school or daycare facility.  Please God give me any reason not to swallow a full metal jacket."

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SydneyCarton

SydneyCarton 47092

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Posted (edited)
59 minutes ago, Goredho said:

It’s harder than you think, but... yeah.

Yeah. I get it. My mom is mid 70s, and big on family thanksgiving and whatnot. She’s patient with scheduling, and used to do multiple days of meals because she wanted everyone to have options, were a mixed multiple divorce family, and everyone is married and has obligations. But she’s 76, and while her pride and her generational training insist on having the big meal, it’s hard. She finally got upset when I said we couldn’t do Saturday, which she had planned. She started protesting, then she mentioned the anti vaxer family attending. These are people who actively refused to let their daughters get the jab, and their fat father of their single income family nearly got put down by the virus earlier this year and gave it to the whole house. I said, we were never going to attend any gathering with them, possibly ever again, but at least until our son, who isn’t even 4, can get vaccinated. She lost all steam and dropped it immediately, said yeah I get it.

 

I can’t imagine where we’d be right now if she was full Q. 

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achooloco

achooloco 961

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11 hours ago, tx 3 putt said:

im very thankful my family tree is free anti vaxxers and Q's. id disown those fuckers in a heartbeat 

Lucky. We’ve mostly avoided maga but in my family the Q and antivaxxers pretty much overlap. Thankfully I’d say it’s only a small handful of each with the majority being the same one or two people in both groups. 

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Macanudo

Macanudo 12649

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My sister told me the other day (we don't talk very often and NEVER about politics because she's a Trumper) told me that she and my BiL got Covid in February of 2020 (they live in the Woodlands) and one of the partners in her firm died in early March of 2020 from it, again in the Woodlands.   Seriously?     On 2/28/20, there were 63 recorded cases in the U.S. and my sister swears that they had it but she didn't think her doctor reported it.    They are not vaccinated now (along my pain in the ass Mom).   SiL and BiL aren't getting vaccinated because their doctor told them not to since they had Covid.  Oh, and she told me that the spikes that keep happening are because of our porous southern border and all the illegals that keep coming in.    

So, yeah, just another reason to talk even less to her.  

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NameAlreadyInUse

NameAlreadyInUse 5092

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My sister is still not vaccinated, nor is she letting her kids get vaccinated.  She's doing it because she decided that vaccines cause autism and other left wing reasoning against vaccines.  Her husband won't do it because it's a government plot.  I've made it clear to her and to the parents that if we're a part of Christmas this year, it will be because the parents come to visit.  I'm not going to be in person with my sister or her family until this is easily treatable or goes away or they are vaccinated.  I would not want to live with it on my conscience that I maybe picked up an asymptomatic case and spread it around to them so they could potentially go die.

It sucks because before this she was one of my best friends on earth.  We talked almost every day during the pandemic until she finally admitted she "wasn't feeling" the vaccine, and now we talk once a month, maybe.  On the bright side, I don't have to travel into the panhandle for the 2nd year in a row.

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wildcat09

wildcat09 28387

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10 minutes ago, NameAlreadyInUse said:

My sister is still not vaccinated, nor is she letting her kids get vaccinated.  She's doing it because she decided that vaccines cause autism and other left wing reasoning against vaccines.  Her husband won't do it because it's a government plot.  I've made it clear to her and to the parents that if we're a part of Christmas this year, it will be because the parents come to visit.  I'm not going to be in person with my sister or her family until this is easily treatable or goes away or they are vaccinated.  I would not want to live with it on my conscience that I maybe picked up an asymptomatic case and spread it around to them so they could potentially go die.

It sucks because before this she was one of my best friends on earth.  We talked almost every day during the pandemic until she finally admitted she "wasn't feeling" the vaccine, and now we talk once a month, maybe.  On the bright side, I don't have to travel into the panhandle for the 2nd year in a row.

Send your sister this: 

 

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Guest Lobo

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On 11/12/2021 at 9:10 AM, Macanudo said:

My sister told me the other day (we don't talk very often and NEVER about politics because she's a Trumper) told me that she and my BiL got Covid in February of 2020 (they live in the Woodlands) and one of the partners in her firm died in early March of 2020 from it, again in the Woodlands.   Seriously?     On 2/28/20, there were 63 recorded cases in the U.S. and my sister swears that they had it but she didn't think her doctor reported it.    They are not vaccinated now (along my pain in the ass Mom).   SiL and BiL aren't getting vaccinated because their doctor told them not to since they had Covid.  Oh, and she told me that the spikes that keep happening are because of our porous southern border and all the illegals that keep coming in.    

So, yeah, just another reason to talk even less to her.  

My FIL (tremendously great man FWIW) was just here and we're going to see him for Thanksgiving next week.  He was feeling awful and run down while he was here, for a whole week almost. He was convinced, and I was too, that it was a combo of Austin allergies (he's from Western Kansas where there are 4 trees total) and the fact he was recovering from a fairly intensive corrective eye surgery.  But my wife and one of her sisters were just needling him that it could be Covid-19.  But he doubled down, said he had it last Winter.  Had a very, very mild case.  Probably didn't even need a vaccine or mask because of his natural immunity, but just did it to appease his 4 daughters and wife.  He still thinks the whole pandemic is overblown and the vaccine/booster is unnecessary bullshit.  Despite him having an extraordinarily bad case for 50 years of Ankylosing Spondylitis (which can present incredibly lethal immune-system challenges), he felt most of this was bullshit.  

So one day, they're all out of the house...and I basically said, "Just to shut them up, since you can't drive with your eyes right now...lemme run you out get you a rapid test and submit PCR test swabs at another place and just put this to rest."  He was in the truck before I could grab my keys.  he did not, turns out (at least with 98% certainty)...ever had Covid-19.  He got the vaccine but it appears he's never had the virus/disease.  I think he thinks he had it and beat it with his badass midwestern grit.  He was playing with fire not masking up, not socially distancing, and putting off the vaccine for almost a year.  He can't read his phone right now so I had to put down my contact information, I just read it out loud the different test results to him as they came in.  He's now convinced, he can never get Covid-19.  Not because of his vaccine and all the precautions we take around him because of his age/health...but because of Trump and the Lord.  We all gotta believe in something I suppose, and I believe he needs a booster.

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