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Jimbo 2020: Strangers with Candi


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4 minutes ago, HtownHorn said:

they have pulled off the Auburn, Arkansas, MSU, and Ole Miss sweep exactly once, their 1st year in the conference with a 2-3 loss Big 12 team. Yet, they are completely overlooking these 5 games as easy wins because, why not.

The math does not seem to check out.

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12 minutes ago, Fondren & Main said:

I can see them at 8-2 rolling into Athens.  Absolutely brutal to have to play @Georgia and @LSU.  8-4 looks like the ceiling to me.

I can't see that. Jimbo is already sending them home early from practice for not being into it. I can't imagine this team is motivated to win every game outside the big four. The last five weeks of Tom Herman drinking Jimbo's milkshake on the recruiting front has to be felt by the team. Coach Ritz Bits may have a problem keeping those guys' attention. 

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Aggy is 1-6 against each of LSU and Bama, 0-0 against UGA since joining the SEC. Using 1 in 7 as a probability for winning any given tough game seems fair. They are 28-14 against the rest of the conference. Using 2/3 as a probability seems a bit (not un)fairly harsh, so let's assign a probability with only half the chance of a loss: 5/6. Obviously this involves some generalization and a few other assumptions, but that would put the likelihood of beating all the (conference) weak sisters at 40%, compared to that of losing to all the better teams of 54%. If one uses the historically documented 2/3 figure, that 40% drops to 13%

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1 hour ago, closetojumping said:

I mean, I watched most of their games last year. I watch 40-50 games a weekend in the fall, mostly sober. I follow their recruiting and roster management since they're relevant to us in this state for recruiting. I read the magazines and their practice updates. I cannot, for the life of me, understand the thinking on their end that they are a top 10, possibly a top 5 team in performance or talent this year. I understand delusion and aggie logic. I just ..., well, it's insane.

They have a bunch of dudes named Bob on the DL besides Marmaduke. Maybe if Johnson and Hines are healthy all season they'll be okay at LB. They don't have a legitimate CB that can cover something better than a dead man. They've got safeties, but they're either slow, inexperienced, or both.

They lost their best OL and have a bunch of guards named Jagger. Mond is fine if he can go uninjured. He's not going to carry the team, however. Corbin is apparently a fine back, but he's replacing the conference leader. They lost their best TE and have a tackle dummy lining up there right now. They've got solid receiving talent. 

The schedule is fucking embarrassing at the bottom and ruthless at the top. I'm not saying they face a clean sweep of the top 4 games, but I also don't believe they run the table on Auburn, SC, Arkansas, Miss State, and Ole Miss. They could easily lose 3 of those games and 3/4 of the big 4 that they play and struggle to make the postseason. They'll need to be healthy and lucky to do something better than 7-6 this year. The best 7-6 in the country, no doubt, but come the fuck on.

Same....but the thing that jumped out to me most was how shitty the sec is after the top 3. 

The shitty offenses keep games close and allow a terrible Barn to comeback on Aggy last season. This mid level has no consistency and flip flop between 5-9 wins depending on SEC schedule. 

2 months into the season they were still selling Kentucky as a top 10 team because they beat a shitty Florida team and played a D2 schedule. 

Edited by ChickenSandwich
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55 minutes ago, HtownHorn said:

How? They have never swept Auburn, Arkansas, Ole Miss, MSU, and South Carolina.

They get Auburn, Miss St and South Carolina at home.  Arkansas is probably due to finally beat them, but Arkansas really sucks fucking ass too.  Like a lot.

They have to go on the road to Ole Miss, but Ta'amu is gone and their coach looks like an orange slice/Capri Sun kind of guy.  I can see them taking those at 5-0 very easily w/ a junior QB that is very mobile.

Their non-conference aside from Clemson is a complete joke.  Reminds me of Mack's schedules when Trev Alberts used to rake us over the coals.

They're probably more likely to split their big 4 games at 2-2 and fuck up somewhere along the way against an easier opponent which still would put them at 8-4.  Perpetual mediocrity is what they do.  They haven't stepped in a big pile of shit since they canned Sherman.

Edited by Fondren & Main
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2 minutes ago, Fondren & Main said:

They're probably more likely to split their big 4 games at 2-2 and fuck up somewhere along the way against an easier opponent which still would put them at 8-4.  Perpetual mediocrity is what they do.  They haven't stepped in a big pile of shit since they canned Sherman.

They aren't splitting their big four games. Come on. 

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53 minutes ago, Mr. Drummond said:

What percentage of the people buying the "Don't care, got Jimbo" mug get that its a joke?

 

Answer - 2%

 

I think I’ll grab one now, so once Jimbo takes all their money, and what little dignity they had is all gone, I can use it daily around the office.  A constant reminder of times on the upward coaster. 

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1 minute ago, Fud said:

They aren't splitting their big four games. Come on. 

I mean I have them at 1-3, but it's what they do.  Reggie McNeal beat Number 1 Oklahoma in 2002 then they totally shit the bed the next week against Mizzou and Mack buttfucks them to end the year.  It's what Aggy does.  They win a game they have no business winning only to shit the bed against a bad team the very next week.

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Just now, ShaggyBevo RIP said:

Auburn may have the SEC's best DL. USCe was was injury plagued last year and those guys are presently healthy plus they added Feaster.

...and the loss to the Gamecocks will just show how great Clemson is letting Feaster go, thus elevating their signature loss on the season.  Advantage aggy.

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25 minutes ago, Scholz said:

qjJGAy.gif

Such a great game.  Good friend is an Ag and we were coming back from the ranch.  Had the game on the radio.  His in-car meltdown was amazing.  Wish I'd been able to video record the whole thing.  I still give him shit for how spun up he got

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38 minutes ago, ChickenSandwich said:

2 months into the season they were still selling Kentucky as a top 10 team because they beat a shitty Florida team and played a D2 schedule. 

This is dead-on. The KY qb was physically incapable of throwing a downfield pass. And still aggy only beat them by 6 at Pyle Field. 

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29 minutes ago, Fondren & Main said:

They win a game they have no business winning only to shit the bed against a bad team the very next week.

Fuck off with that garbage. They've won 1 game above their pay grade in 10 years

Spoiler

Ranked team wins

2008
None

2009
21 TTU

2010
11 Oklahoma
9 Nebraska

2011
20 Baylor

2012
23 Louisiana Tech
17 Miss St
1 Alabama
12 Oklahoma

2013
22 Duke

2014
9 South Carolina
3 Auburn (finished 8-5)

2015
15 Arizona State
21 Miss. State

2016
16 UCLA
17 Arkansas
9 Tennessee

2017
None

2018
13 Kentucky
6 LSU


 

 

 

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1 hour ago, Orange&White said:

"Don't Care, Got Jimbo" merch will be worth it's weight in gold in a couple of years. 

It reminds of how sad I was that I never pulled the trigger on my "Get FRANtic! shirt.

It'd be worth it to buy and store away until the disillusionment rises to full flame.

What a great gift for the Aggie co-worker or loudest mouthed Aggie you know.

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13 minutes ago, Fud said:

Pretty sure you have to spend two years at JUCO if you don't qualify, unless you go to prep school for one year 

Unless the guy, who didn’t buckle down in high school despite the stakes, decided to buckle down and hammer out an associates in his one year plus summers. 

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1 hour ago, BabaYaga said:

Such a great game.  Good friend is an Ag and we were coming back from the ranch.  Had the game on the radio.  His in-car meltdown was amazing.  Wish I'd been able to video record the whole thing.  I still give him shit for how spun up he got

This phrase does not make sense.

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3 hours ago, Ricky's one-hitter said:

The most self aware corner of self aware merch

B.A.S. (Battered Aggie Syndrome)
noun
A debilitating disease affecting the mental sstability of all modern-day Texas A&M football fans. Symptoms include irrational outrage, loss of appetite, hopelessness, and an inability to enjoy current success due to fear of future failure
 

I'll give you one guess what the cause of BAS is

Sheep semen?

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1 minute ago, nunna yo bizness said:

This phrase does not make sense.

LOL.  Are you not aware of the Ag-Paradox?  

In simple terms - alone or in small numbers, the Ag is not only tolerable, and can be a welcome addition (or in this case, his Longhorn wife who is cool as shit).  But in larger groups, massive fuckery cannot be contained.  

Example:  every group of ags with a sample size over 10.  In public....ever.  

 

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10 minutes ago, BabaYaga said:

LOL.  Are you not aware of the Ag-Paradox?  

In simple terms - alone or in small numbers, the Ag is not only tolerable, and can be a welcome addition (or in this case, his Longhorn wife who is cool as shit).  But in larger groups, massive fuckery cannot be contained.  

Example:  every group of ags with a sample size over 10 of 2 or more.  In public....ever.  

 

fixed it for you.

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Been traveling - so reading on the phone is a bitch. Has this perfect nugget been posted yet? It’s like he senses the truths — but they can’t stop the Jimbomentum in his aggy heart. 

So. Delicious. 

 

BC81-D5-B2-4-A70-4-A41-AEE8-52077131-F9-

 

Edited by golfclap
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