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Posted
1 hour ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Did we deal with this scenario with Mack, or did he sit on his ass until any buyout was paid in full, then went to espn?  

Mack took all of our money. Remember his motto? “Fuck you. Pay me.”  Asshole. 

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Posted

I was going to lay off these for awhile, but Olin won't let me.

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You can bet that Olin did his homework on this article. Let's see what we learn!

Tell me something I don't know.

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Hmmmm. Okay. I'm sure you're building. Cue the insight!

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Gettin' shaky, Olin. You're supposed to be bringing the ol' Nabou Jr. into focus. 

 

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In summary, A&M could be one of the best, but look out for Alabama. Even so, A&M could have the best line in the SEC. Has there been another conference realignment, Olin?

On Nabou, another recollection from last season about him scoring. You're losing focus in your focus.

We're halfway through. Olin scratches his head and leans into the mic. Here it comes. Professional sportswriter insight:

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You astonish me. Surely you got something.

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Run out the clock, man. Platitudes. Lean into plattitudes.

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Last graf. Psychotic breaktime:

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Not even a theme. 

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Posted

In that they'd get blown the fuck out if they played Ohio State, I'd say they're very close to 2024 Tennessee. 

Also, that man's center of gravity is not in a place that's conducive to running:

 

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Posted
2 hours ago, texifornia said:

Also, that man's center of gravity is not in a place that's conducive to running:

I’m very disappointed that he didn’t collapse halfway to 2nd. 

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Posted
3 hours ago, texifornia said:

In that they'd get blown the fuck out if they played Ohio State, I'd say they're very close to 2024 Tennessee. 

Also, that man's center of gravity is not in a place that's conducive to running:

 

Having a head coach built like Derka is not a good thing. 

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Posted
5 hours ago, texifornia said:

In that they'd get blown the fuck out if they played Ohio State, I'd say they're very close to 2024 Tennessee. 

Also, that man's center of gravity is not in a place that's conducive to running:

 

Honestly, he moves pretty well for a fat fuck. 

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Posted
23 minutes ago, billfromlaketravis said:

Honestly, he moves pretty well for a fat fuck. 

I mean, he was a decent cfb player. You don't lose all of that muscle memory yet at his age. Even if he's shaped more spherically.

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Posted
53 minutes ago, billfromlaketravis said:

Honestly, he moves pretty well for a fat fuck. 

lol, I'm glad you said it. Seems like he was being a good sport. Honestly I don't see that much to dislike about Elko other than the trash he associates with. 

He's a slob, so there's that. But glasses houses and stones. 

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Posted
15 hours ago, Park Gothic said:

lol, I'm glad you said it. Seems like he was being a good sport. Honestly I don't see that much to dislike about Elko other than the trash he associates with. 

He's a slob, so there's that. But glasses houses and stones. 

And also changing being "physically annhialated'' to one play from winning.  That kind of crap is annoying at best.

Posted
15 hours ago, Park Gothic said:

lol, I'm glad you said it. Seems like he was being a good sport. Honestly I don't see that much to dislike about Elko other than the trash he associates with. 

He's a slob, so there's that. But glasses houses and stones. 

His first year didn't go well, but I won't be like an Aggie talking about Sark's first year as though it was defining of the future. He couldn't get his team to the SEC championship game. I'm not great judge of in-game coaching, but had the Aggies been worthy of that, they would have found a way to win an SEC night game. They couldn't even stay ranked and ended up being an other team receiving vote. One vote. 

It's not promising, but I don't know what will happen any more than you do. He's all in on being an Aggie and they will get increasingly annoying, but I see nothing to dislike about the guy. He's a great subject for amateurish comedy writing.

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Posted
16 hours ago, texifornia said:

I mean, he was a decent cfb player. You don't lose all of that muscle memory yet at his age. Even if he's shaped more spherically.

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Yes, he's now a better-rounded person.

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Posted

I think it’s hilarious that Aggies think they are going walk into South Bend and beat ND.  I hear them all say 10-2 or at worse, 9-3.  I don’t see it. I see 7-5 with 8-4 being their best case scenario.  They will lose to ND, LSU, Texas and Florida.  They could also lose at Arkansas and Missouri. I don’t know how people think they are a playoff team. 

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Posted
39 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

To your last point, I like the guy. He cracks me up. None of him making me laugh is intentional on his part, but God love him, man. I enjoy his morbid obesity and cheap jokes we all make about him. I enjoy even more reading frustrated aggies talking about him being a fatass, usually following losses. I love the fact that he’s either aggressively lying and misleading aggies and the media regarding the talent on his roster, or he’s actually oblivious to how many gaps he has on his depth chart and how little depth he actually has. I don’t know which I prefer, but I know what the aggie reactions are going to be either way and I can’t wait. 

 

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Posted
36 minutes ago, Harvdog said:

I think it’s hilarious that Aggies think they are going walk into South Bend and beat ND.  I hear them all say 10-2 or at worse, 9-3.  I don’t see it. I see 7-5 with 8-4 being their best case scenario.  They will lose to ND, LSU, Texas and Florida.  They could also lose at Arkansas and Missouri. I don’t know how people think they are a playoff team. 

because this is year 2 post-jimbo and talkiebird retired so snakey will have to pay homage to glenn hegar the new chancellor, plus other reasons

Just now, Pato del Muerto said:

I’m sure he got a talking to about that kind of language 

you bet he did

Posted
1 hour ago, closetojumping said:

To your last point, I like the guy. He cracks me up. None of him making me laugh is intentional on his part, but God love him, man. I enjoy his morbid obesity and cheap jokes we all make about him. I enjoy even more reading frustrated aggies talking about him being a fatass, usually following losses. I love the fact that he’s either aggressively lying and misleading aggies and the media regarding the talent on his roster, or he’s actually oblivious to how many gaps he has on his depth chart and how little depth he actually has. I don’t know which I prefer, but I know what the aggie reactions are going to be either way and I can’t wait. 

I take all of Elko's comments in more of a Graham/Loochador perspective. I really don't think he's stupid, in fact I think he's pretty wise. You can't feed the aggie throngs facts and reality. They will revolt. You have to feed them hype and bullshit. If you aren't helping get the roller-coaster up the hill, you're not a "true aggie" and "don't get it". Sure, he needs to put a little hedge in now and again for future fall back post loss, but he knows that. 

I don't hate Elko cause he won't win and doesn't come off to me as a completely POS like some coaches in the game.

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Posted
Just now, utee94 said:

Agree, Elko's okay.  He's smart, he took the aggie payday.  Why wouldn't he? 

The payday at Duke was decent already, the expectations are nil, and the triangle area is a nicer place to live than the bcs area?

but this isn’t a case of not knowing what he was signing up for, having been there previously. 

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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, BurntOrange&White said:

Who is the last obese coach to win a national title? Bowden in 99? Was he even fat in 99? 

Probably Fulmer the year before.

1999 - Bowden

2000 - Dick Eater

2001 - Coker

2002 - Sweater Vest Pussy Rubber

2003 - Satan

2004 - Carroll

2005 - Killing himself in Florida

2006 - Horseshoe Bay Hoe

2007 - Lester

2008 - Horseshoe Bay Hoe

2009 - Satan

2010 - Squarejaw McBlockface

2011 - Satan

2012 - Satan

2013 - Dumbo

2014 - Horseshoe Bay Hoe

2015 - Satan

2016 - Dabo

2017 - Satan

2018 - Dabo

2019 - Farmer Fran

2020 - Satan

2021 - Kirby

2022 - Kirby

2023 - Harbaugh

2024 - Pedo

I asked google AI this question and the breakdown is hilarious.

The provided search results do not explicitly state the number of obese coaches who have won college football championships. However, they discuss the topic of overweight and obese coaches in football, including some who have won championships. 
Specifically, the results mention Mark Mangino, the former head coach of Kansas, as being "absolutely huge" and potentially "the biggest coach in the history of football". He won the Orange Bowl in 2008. While not explicitly stated as having won a national championship, his success with a significant physique is notable.  
Other coaches mentioned as being overweight or obese include Mike Holmgren and Mike McCarthy, both of whom have won Super Bowls but were not college coaches at that time. The query focuses on college football championships, so these examples are not directly relevant to the user's specific request. 
The available information does not provide a definitive count of championship-winning college coaches who meet the criteria for obesity.
Edited by Fondren & Main
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Posted
1 minute ago, Pato del Muerto said:

The payday at Duke was decent already, the expectations are nil, and the triangle area is a nicer place to live than the bcs area?

but this isn’t a case of not knowing what he was signing up for, having been there previously. 

He was making 3.9M at Duke.  He's making 7M at A&M.  That's quite a bump.  He'd have been stupid not to take it.

 

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Posted (edited)

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6 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

The payday at Duke was decent already, the expectations are nil, and the triangle area is a nicer place to live than the bcs area?

but this isn’t a case of not knowing what he was signing up for, having been there previously. 

 

2 minutes ago, utee94 said:

He was making 3.9M at Duke.  He's making 7M at A&M.  That's quite a bump.  He'd have been stupid not to take it.

 

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Edited by BurntEyes
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Posted
14 minutes ago, BurntEyes said:

I take all of Elko's comments in more of a Graham/Loochador perspective. I really don't think he's stupid, in fact I think he's pretty wise. You can't feed the aggie throngs facts and reality. They will revolt. You have to feed them hype and bullshit. If you aren't helping get the roller-coaster up the hill, you're not a "true aggie" and "don't get it". Sure, he needs to put a little hedge in now and again for future fall back post loss, but he knows that. 

I don't hate Elko cause he won't win and doesn't come off to me as a completely POS like some coaches in the game.

Yeah kind of a weird situation where I don't hate Elko or Venables. Might be projecting, but I feel like Elko really gets how ludicrous the whole aggie thing is and he helps keep multiple diners and liquor stores in our state in business. In Venables' case, I love the guy. He's a complete lunatic and presents no threat to Texas. You can nitpick, but I don't think he's a terrible person by P5 head coach standards. He's clearly suffering from severe CTE, holds hilarious press conferences and is sabotaging our chief rival to the point where they'll need years to recover. 

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Posted
1 hour ago, BurntOrange&White said:

Who is the last obese coach to win a national title? Bowden in 99? Was he even fat in 99? 

I heard that Charlie Weiss won the national pie eating title one year... does that count? 

Posted
2 hours ago, Harvdog said:

I think it’s hilarious that Aggies think they are going walk into South Bend and beat ND.  I hear them all say 10-2 or at worse, 9-3.  I don’t see it. I see 7-5 with 8-4 being their best case scenario.  They will lose to ND, LSU, Texas and Florida.  They could also lose at Arkansas and Missouri. I don’t know how people think they are a playoff team. 

Shit, they could expand it to a 64 team playoff and those window lickers would still miss out. 

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Posted

Is Elko the fattest HC in FBS right now? I’m probably forgetting a couple of truly giant lardasses. Still, gone are the days of Ralph Friedgen and Mark Mangino. Those were the halcyon days of gluttons roaming CFB sidelines. 

Posted
1 hour ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Did Bert slim down?

 

1 hour ago, closetojumping said:

Aggies talking conference title smack. Just outstanding. 

That’s a good one. He’s got to weight 400#+ given his height. 

It’s none of y’all’s fucking business!!

Friday Movie Running GIF

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Posted
2 hours ago, Getafix said:

 

Ol' Dash saying it like it is ... go to College Station.  To be "apart" of something great.

 

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Poor guy - all were missing is the “station is lit” comment 

Posted

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3rd or 4th rnd pick? 🤣😂🤣😂🤣

The most recent media hot take is that Saban will come out of retirement to join whichever team drafts him next year. 

I still think he starts 2 years under Sark, but the media can't help themselves. 

Posted
3 hours ago, JesusSweatDuck said:

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Quote

Reed has a better chance of becoming the next
Johnny Football if that answers your question

If he has the same drug supplier that’s a given for his off the field potential.

Posted
3 hours ago, Getafix said:

 

Ol' Dash saying it like it is ... go to College Station.  To be "apart" of something great.

 

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Aggy, apart, and greatness: words aptly used together

Posted
6 hours ago, BurntEyes said:

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You'll have to excuse me...I'm a little slow.  You're not saying Jimbo was stupid to take the Aggy job are you?  Because from where I'm standing, that was brilliant.

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