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Purity Balls ….


tx 3 putt

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On 12/21/2023 at 11:42 PM, Anastasis said:

It’s something most Christians have never heard of before but is getting some play in the media because politics does politics and our media is garbage. 

And we get a thread about it here cause Twitter. Hope that sums it up. 

This isn’t true. 

Purity _______ has been around for forever. When I was in high school, the largest church in our town (FBC) was doing purity shit left and right, and this was the late 90s into 2000. Rings, signed forms, wristbands, etc. The weirdest part was the youth pastor who was promoting this was always seen around high school at lunch, showing up to athletic events (which isn’t too weird but was weird), and generally still trying to be a high school student.

Purity balls (like actual events) still happen in West Texas as my friend went with his daughter back in 2012. I just quickly changed the subject because he believes in that shit but also drunkly told me he was gay. 

So no, it’s not something “most Christian’s have never heard of” and in fact, it’s the complete opposite—they’ve heard about and know about these purity balls and tests but because of the blowback of how indoctrinatory it combined with this general creepiness, they keep quiet about it.

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16 minutes ago, Pancho said:

This isn't true

I think that this sub is significantly over representative of people raised in evangelical/funda/conservative christian households, many in small-medium town texas. It's clear in many discussions, esp those where anything related to christianity is discussed, not just this one.

Edited by Anastasis
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28 minutes ago, Anastasis said:

I think that this sub is significantly over representative of people raised in evangelical/funda/conservative christian households, many in small-medium town texas. It's clear in many discussions, esp those where anything related to christianity is discussed, not just this one.

Or perhaps in Texas, that IS the predominant christian experience? 

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I think that this sub is significantly over representative of people raised in evangelical/funda/conservative christian households, many in small-medium town texas. It's clear in many discussions, esp those where anything related to christianity is discussed, not just this one.

Yeah…I was born and raised in Houston. Purity rings and other rituals were some well-known bullshit there even 30 years ago.
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Yeah, completely anecdotal...but I grew up surrounded in working class neighborhoods, by hardcore Catholics who were Hispanic, Irish, Italian, and Polish.  Granted there was the traditional Catholic baggage that came with sexuality.  But having lived now in Texas for ~27 years, you fucking Southern Baptists and Southern Evangelicals (like Louisiana's Mike Johnson) take this shit to a whole other sublime level.  

I mean, I don't think I've met a Texas dad of an older girl who hasn't told me the same old story about sitting her boyfriend down with a shotgun to tell him about how to behave like a proper gentleman for 15 minutes.  But a gala about your daughter's hymen and circling your son into your government-issued phone to watch your porn search history...and causing both of them decades of psychological damage that will echo throughout the lives of your grandchildren.  That's kind of a big deal.  

Mike Johnson openly, from the Speaker's Podium as "Head of House", critiques the kinds of treaties and executive orders signed by our Executive Branch & Senate.  Meantime, he himself is signing "Head of the House" protective orders of his underage daughter's vagina.  
I mean, I get the mental hoops Trumpers/Mike Johnson lovers gotta jump through to get through another day or owning the Libs and destroying women's integrity as human beings.  But c'mon...this is fucked up shit and we all know it.  Show me in the bible where this is encouraged as a practice of faith.  I'll hang up and listen.

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12 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:


Yeah…I was born and raised in Houston. Purity rings and other rituals were some well-known bullshit there even 30 years ago.

Don’t remember anything like a purity ball in 1990s Austin. And I went to HP for a portion of that time. 

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18 minutes ago, Anastasis said:

Fair enough. There is a fairly narrow experience amplified here, funda/evangelical, 90s-2000s upbringing, etc. 

Maybe you are over amplifying your narrow experience as the norm. 

I grew up in Austin, in the Lutheran church, and even they had elements of this shit. Not over the top "purity balls" but definitely signing pledges when you are a young teen and lots of fear mongering at church camps and events. 

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Purity culture was definitely a thing, likely still is. Seems like the 1990s and 2000s were the peak. There were different levels of engagement, just like people are differently religious. Most people didn’t do the ball and father pledge thing, but elements were around. 

If you were in or around conservative-leaning Protestant churches, or FCA, or prayer groups…it was definitely a thing. Big enough for it to have been part of the Jonas Brothers’ shtick and to get a South Park send-up. 
 

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One of the more wack displays of this was at a youth group thing.  One of the teenage girls sat on the stage with a rose in her hand.  Then a boy would come up, take the flower and compliment its beauty, and pluck a petal.  This thing kept going till the petals were gone and the last boy went up and commented that the flower was all used up and he didn’t want it. 

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On 12/21/2023 at 10:17 PM, Brian Fantana said:

I....what

Can one of you weirdo Christians please explain this to me

We didn't have this shit when I grew up.  Heck, dating/ fucking( off premisis😁) was part of the allure of going to church in high school.

Edited by slorch
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4 minutes ago, 956 Worldwide said:

One of the more wack displays of this was at a youth group thing.  One of the teenage girls sat on the stage with a rose in her hand.  Then a boy would come up, take the flower and compliment its beauty, and pluck a petal.  This thing kept going till the petals were gone and the last boy went up and commented that the flower was all used up and he didn’t want it. 

All used up and the weirdos don't want her? Bah gawd that's @tx 3 putt's music! 

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16 minutes ago, 956 Worldwide said:

One of the more wack displays of this was at a youth group thing.  One of the teenage girls sat on the stage with a rose in her hand.  Then a boy would come up, take the flower and compliment its beauty, and pluck a petal.  This thing kept going till the petals were gone and the last boy went up and commented that the flower was all used up and he didn’t want it. 

I remember hearing those tales from other youth groups we'd do retreats with at the same camps in Wisconsin or Michigan.  We'd be hanging out with them playing sports or games or co-worship of different denominations or whatever.  And they'd break off for "Hey we gotta do our rose petal, purity ceremony...we'll see you guys for dinner and yahtzee later!"  And we'd be like, "okay cool, we're gonna go smoke a joint and try to get a handjob.  Way not to judge like Jesus said!"  

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1 hour ago, 956 Worldwide said:

One of the more wack displays of this was at a youth group thing.  One of the teenage girls sat on the stage with a rose in her hand.  Then a boy would come up, take the flower and compliment its beauty, and pluck a petal.  This thing kept going till the petals were gone and the last boy went up and commented that the flower was all used up and he didn’t want it. 

Hell, that flower's just now gettin good at pluckin.

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The goal is not protect purity, but to make people feel guilty. As Orwell showed, making people guilt/shame about sexual pleasure is a powerful way to control/suppress their existential desire for freedom/liberation. Hence the "Anti-Sex League." 

Of course, behind the scenes, sex was totally happening among the Party Elite. Not unlike Moms For Liberty founder threesomes and whatever sex MGA-GQP power brokers are in to. Amazing how Orwellian is the Party of Freedoms!

 

Orwell.jpg

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2 hours ago, slorch said:

We didn't have this shit when I grew up.  Heck, dating/ fucking( off premisis😁) was part of the allure of going to church in high school.

Yeah, we're about the same age (graduated HS in '89) and both from small town West Texas. In this instance, it was a good thing that trends took a few years longer to make it out there back then. So far as I know, it wasn't a thing in my hometown back then.

Of course, due to my high school teacher dad's grudge against the superintendent who went to the same church, we pretty much stopped going except for special occasions by the time I was in high school.

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On 12/22/2023 at 5:16 PM, YGIFS said:

I think your 'expectation setting' is a good point.  When we grew up, if somebody got laid...you were jealous and frustrated but it was just a story.  "Hey, Mikey got some pussy!"  But it was just Mikey's story.  Now, you can see the nudes he got sent, and watch porn, and read about the escapades on social media and think, "Well, why can't I gets mine?"  And the little asshole takes it out on a girl on a date who isn't comfortable getting sexual.  And then she gets shamed and gets sad and depressed, or uses substances, or worse.  

 

Yeah, this wasn't exactly where I was going with expectation setting. 

Something something, look guys, most human beings have gag reflexes, and that is ok. 

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22 hours ago, Anastasis said:

I think that this sub is significantly over representative of people raised in evangelical/funda/conservative christian households, many in small-medium town texas. It's clear in many discussions, esp those where anything related to christianity is discussed, not just this one.

This is something that I actually agree on. I have mentioned it before, but I find it wild how many churchgoers or people that grew up as churchgoers post here. That just wasn't my experience growing up in Virginia Beach

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2 minutes ago, G650 said:

This is something that I actually agree on. I have mentioned it before, but I find it wild how many churchgoers or people that grew up as churchgoers post here. That just wasn't my experience growing up in Virginia Beach

When you’re a kid you don’t have a choice.  Weddings and funerals are the only way to get my ass into a church these days, but little conVINCEd was drug to church every Sunday as a wee lad.  Probably explains my disdain for all things organized religion.

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11 minutes ago, conVINCEd said:

When you’re a kid you don’t have a choice.

Oh, I know. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying churchgoing culture is something very foreign. It just wasn't a thing here, it in my mind was like a relic from the 1950s. The few church going people I knew were very much outliers

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Just now, G650 said:

Oh, I know. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying churchgoing culture is something very foreign. It just wasn't a thing here, it in my mind was like a relic from the 1950s. The few church going people I knew were very much outliers

I’ve spent 3 days in Virginia Beach in my life, and to be completely honest, it didn’t make a very good impression on me.  I’m a little surprised that there’s not a strong catholic contingent there. 

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4 minutes ago, conVINCEd said:

I’ve spent 3 days in Virginia Beach in my life, and to be completely honest, it didn’t make a very good impression on me.  I’m a little surprised that there’s not a strong catholic contingent there. 

Ha. Yeah not super big catholic community. I think I went to one catholic wedding ever, and thankfully they did the short short version.

 

Virginia Beach is two pockets of pretty cool areas, and 95% suburban wasteland.

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Just now, G650 said:

Ha. Yeah not super big catholic community. I think I went to one catholic wedding ever, and thankfully they did the short short version.

 

Virginia Beach is two pockets of pretty cool areas, and 95% suburban wasteland.

I was in town for a wedding a few years ago, and we stayed on the beach.  So our non-wedding activities were somewhat limited, but my general impression of the place was Jersey Shore: Mid-Atlantic edition, hence the catholic comment.

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2 minutes ago, conVINCEd said:

I was in town for a wedding a few years ago, and we stayed on the beach.  So our non-wedding activities were somewhat limited, but my general impression of the place was Jersey Shore: Mid-Atlantic edition, hence the catholic comment.

Shit, unfortunately we did not know each other, or I could have given you some options. We actually have an amazingly good food scene if you know where to look.

 

I'm sure you know the Arrested Development gif I have the worst lawyers. Substitute tourists for lawyers, and you have it nailed. I feel our motto should be "At least we are better than Myrtle Beach"

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33 minutes ago, G650 said:

Shit, unfortunately we did not know each other, or I could have given you some options. We actually have an amazingly good food scene if you know where to look.

 

I'm sure you know the Arrested Development gif I have the worst lawyers. Substitute tourists for lawyers, and you have it nailed. I feel our motto should be "At least we are better than Myrtle Beach"

We had 2 meals that weren’t pre-planned.  One was breakfast at some place that is known for their pancakes and walking distance from the hotel, and the other one I googled oysters and went to the first place that had a decent website on our way back to the airport.  We’ve derailed the thread enough, back to fathers claiming ownership of their daughter’s vaginas.

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5 minutes ago, conVINCEd said:

One was breakfast at some place that is known for their pancakes and walking distance from the hotel

 

I'm assuming Pocahontas Pancakes where you have to wait outside in a mass of humanity to get a table.

But anyway, yes it's fascinating and terrifying to me this whole purity thing

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I'm assuming Pocahontas Pancakes where you have to wait outside in a mass of humanity to get a table.
But anyway, yes it's fascinating and terrifying to me this whole purity thing

“Pocahontas Pancakes” sounds dirty. Like, “I gave her the old Pocahontas Pancake.” I’m not sure exactly what it means…but it HAS to be something dirty.
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7 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:


“Pocahontas Pancakes” sounds dirty. Like, “I gave her the old Pocahontas Pancake.” I’m not sure exactly what it means…but it HAS to be something dirty.

Well it involves syrup, so yeah...

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40 minutes ago, DaysOff said:

I'll never understand why women would want to be involved with any of the 3 main monotheistic religions. They are treated so well.

This.  But perhaps another thread for another time.  There's just so much weird shit to unpack about the 3rd highest ranking member of the most powerful government the world has ever known.  Good news is there's no annoying bank statements to unpack, he just "opted out", apparently taking his government paystubs to a check cashing place in Belluvue D.C., conveniently located near a massage parlor and liquor store.  

The whole thing with women and the Big 3 was when they're brought up with it as a youth, it comes to make them feel comfortable and familiar.  That's it.  The messages and lessons are horrifying for women, but they associate the services, rituals, and community events with a feeling of security and time with family and being protected.  That's the trick, it's the opposite actually.  From purity balls to confirmation to weddings, the whole thing is, "You're property.  Maintain clean title.  Do this, don't do that.  And eventually you have a fancy party to celebrate you being transferred to another man to make more babies for the faith."  

I'd love to hear Mike Johnson's opinions on how enabling and empowering his faith is for his daughter(s).  But everytime he talks, he just reminds me of Beck Bennett doing a bit from SNL so I want to laugh and also hurt him.  

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3 hours ago, DaysOff said:

I'll never understand why women would want to be involved with any of the 3 main monotheistic religions. They are treated so well.

A serious response to why? Well, it starts with the facts that:

1. People don’t choose in a vacuum, they are constrained by culture and facts. Religion is neither downstream or upstream of culture, it’s more like a pond where both culture and religion mix into each other. 
 

2.  The default setting for humans is oppressive patriarchy and so most women in most places make the best choice available to them.  Matriarchy is an anthropological curio. Secular egalitarianism as we conceive of it almost unknown outside of the Western world and places influenced by the West.  It probably is not possible without antibiotics and birth control.  There’s some cultural factors at play as well. 
 

With these constraints, monotheism in a lot of places— maybe most— worked out better for women than the available options.  The early Christian church was viewed as a religion for women, children, slaves, and the poor. Thats not Christian propaganda, either, that’s what Roman pagans alarmed at the rise of the faith wrote about it. One big reason was that they viewed it as a bad influence on women that led them to abandon domesticity for service and semi-leadership roles in the church. Another reason is that Christians did not practice infanticide, which in the Greco-Roman world (as everywhere, even today) affected girls far more than boys. 
 

Pagan husbands of Christian women were what early Christians viewed as prime conversion targets. It’s not hard to see why wives might prefer the religion where a night at the brothel was forbidden rather than expected of men.  Again, antibiotics and whatnot.  Before them, sexual mores we view as repressive were a lot more feminist. 
 

This carried on into the Middle Ages and modern era. No coincidence that many of the women’s voices we have preserved are from nuns.  Liberation was a not an option, and if you wanted some autonomy and education, the church was one of the few places that offered that. The oldest girls school in the United States, as elsewhere, is a church school.

It’s hard to peer back into the Bronze Age and Judaism. For Islam, women absolutely experienced a step up from their status under Arabian paganism.  And for all these faiths, for most of history, for most people— it wasn’t like your husband stopped going to church or mosque and became an enlightened feminist.  Usually, if that happened it meant he was going to go drinking and philandering (again, antibiotics!) Not getting married wasn’t an option. It’s easy to forget that the temperance movement went hand in hand with suffragism, it was both religious women and progressive politics driving that bus because they viewed alcohol as driving poverty, abuse, and neglect.  Again, this was a rational choice at the time for the place most women found themselves. 
 

And to this day this still holds true in a lot of places.  You’ve mentioned monotheism.  But the largest polytheistic faith (Hinduism) as widely practiced is hardly more woman-friendly than even the most hide-bound evangelical and likely a lot less.  It was the British, after all, who stamped out suttee, a practice that can’t be called very feminist at all.  The status of women in traditional Buddhist or Confucian societies is also not at all better than in monotheistic ones, nor can most traditional animistic societies be called egalitarian.  
 

That’s not a defense of the misogynistic elements baked into monotheistic faiths.  They’re bad!  And antibiotics and secular options and choices for women are good!  It’s a good thing that women don’t have to depend on the graces of organized religion to improve their lot in our society. 
 

It’s just how things were and still are for most women through time and space.  TL;DR, women aren’t irrational and have long had good temporal, not just spiritual, reasons for being religious. 

 

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On 12/23/2023 at 12:02 PM, RDCanecutter said:

During my enforced Evangelical attendance, I found out they'd confiscate comic books but they'd let you sit there and read a Bible. And huge chunks of the Bible are all about killin and fuckin.

My youth pastor tried to confiscate my cassette of The Dead Milkmen "Big lizzard in my backyard" but the wholesome cover persuaded him it was safe. Then we played V.F.W. on the speakers in the church gym and chaos ensued.

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46 minutes ago, Zepol87 said:

I remember going to an FCA thing in middle school because rhe football coach pretty much made you and they talked about signing a purity pledge paper thing 

Our H.S. head coach made us "voluntarily" attend FCA meetings that he ran.

One day, we had a bad practice and he started off a speech by saying "Let's set aside that FCA stuff I've been talking about for a minute." lulz

Then he began a rant, "Ya'll play football like a bunch of little shit balls. You know what that means? Ya'll are a bunch of pieces of shit clinging to a hairy ass."

Edited by F250
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