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1 hour ago, Celery Man said:

Do you have to tell your porn accountability partner if you pay a pornstar for sex while your third wife is at home with your newborn?

Nope, because they would have seen the videos you took.  Hence the "porn accountability" bit.

 

2 hours ago, RPM said:

 

Thank you for reminding me that Oates has cancer.

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2 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

I mean....everyone with a lick of sense knows that some of the best sex of your young life happens with the "I'm not that kind of girl" types of girls at church camp.

Yep.  I spent a few weeks at church camp and was friendly with one of those kinds of girls, before I had to come back for sports. During my physical, the team doctor was asking if I had any problems with my prostrate/etc., and if I had had any examinations, and I was like "doc, I was just at church camp and I've had things happen to my ass that you people wouldn't believe."

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2 hours ago, 'stache said:

I see we're back to "the predominant form of Christianity practiced by people in power who are using their beliefs to run all of our lives" isn't the real form of Christianity so we shouldn't be so judgy. Sorry, but your little Sunday clubs finally ran amok, and I'm gonna be judgy as shit. It's becoming like the republican party at this point. Sure some of you don't worship the racist fascist fuck face but those in power do so I'm gonna judge the shit out of anyone who votes R at this point. If we want to Make America Great again, how about we treat religion the way the founding fathers did and how it was generally viewed in this country before that shit head Reagan embraced the "Moral Majority" and started manipulating the masses to do their bidding in the name of religion? Yeah, I'm gonna keep judging until you all get your fucking house in order and get that shit out of politics and stop trying to run a fucking theocracy. Worship however the fuck you want in your own lives. Let your kids get blowjobs and anal at Falls Creek. I really don't give a shit until they started using that shit to run our fucking lives and demonize anyone who isn't a rich WASP. Fuck it all.

You are, of course, right, but to play devil's advocate here-- I think the intentions are probably good. At least as I can relate to them and think of how I would want to operationalize the idea of "purity" and "porn advocate"

For one, with respect to purity and specifically for girls, IMO it's generally a good idea for your teenager daughter (assuming sexual maturity age of 14-18) not engage in sexual intercourse with someone who is likely not going to be a long term life partner and introducing risk (as minimal as it might be with modern contraception) of a) health issues/std, unwanted pregnancy and/or b) massive disruption to life plans and goals. Get your freak on when you are out of my house, in other words.

I get the argument is that having a safe and healthy posture towards sex can come from making sloppy overtures at it and learning when you are young and dumb, and that's good when it works out, but much like not allowing alcohol versus introducing alcohol at healthy levels by letting your kids drink wine or something so they don't go crazy at their first keg party in college, I think you can have an expectation (and dare I say, hope) that your little girl doesn't have premarital sex while living in your house as a teenage high schooler, and have that expectation not be because you are a stupid, bigoted, naïve bad parent.

Secondly, IMO it's generally a good idea to not get addicted to porn at any age, but especially as the brain is still developing. There are numerous studies which have been quoted on this site in the past that the access and availability (and extremity in hardcore and fetishes) of viewing porn is unhealthy for developing teenagers. Neurons and pathways and brains and dopamine, etc. This isn't a generation of looking at frontal nudity foldouts while dipping contraband chew in a shed at your best friends house, but you've been online the past 15 years and you know that. It's probably healthy for mature adult men and their sex lives and physical relationships to also not be addicted to pornography, IMO.

Now what is SUPER WEIRD is having your son be your porn accountability partner. Especially if that is a minor and there is a power dynamic of Father/Son still in play. That to me is not only unethical and immoral but almost borderline sexual abuse IMO.

ETA: just read the article, the son is 17. Yuck.

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6 minutes ago, Captainant said:

Purity culture is regressive as hell and teaches young women to be ashamed of themselves and their bodies, and teaches young men that women are little more than objects of desire that you must protect because they're weak. Its incredible unhealthy for interpersonal development and tends to engender all the weird porn obsession because of the forbidden fruit angle.

Stupid shit like "I can't be in a room with a woman on my own because of THE RISK" stems directly from purity culture. 

I guess then my question is, what is purity culture? If it's engaging in the performative purity balls, then yea, that's over the top and ill-fated and like you said has unintentional consequences (and intentional ones as people are just going through the motions to please their parents). But if purity culture means, as I said above, clearly and responsibly and fairly communicating an expectation of sexual purity and lifting that up as a healthy behavior in your personal and own home for your teenage daughters, then I disagree.

But like with anything else, if you are a bad and lazy parent and don't communicate or parent effectively within your 4 walls and you outsource your parenting to anything--whether that be teachers and public schools or church or "purity balls"-- then your children are going to start with one hand tied behind their back anyways when it comes to being a healthy, well-rounded and moderate prosocial adult IMO.

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19 minutes ago, BeardIP said:

You are, of course, right, but to play devil's advocate here-- I think the intentions are probably good. At least as I can relate to them and think of how I would want to operationalize the idea of "purity" and "porn advocate"

For one, with respect to purity and specifically for girls, IMO it's generally a good idea for your teenager daughter (assuming sexual maturity age of 14-18) not engage in sexual intercourse with someone who is likely not going to be a long term life partner and introducing risk (as minimal as it might be with modern contraception) of a) health issues/std, unwanted pregnancy and/or b) massive disruption to life plans and goals. Get your freak on when you are out of my house, in other words.

I get the argument is that having a safe and healthy posture towards sex can come from making sloppy overtures at it and learning when you are young and dumb, and that's good when it works out, but much like not allowing alcohol versus introducing alcohol at healthy levels by letting your kids drink wine or something so they don't go crazy at their first keg party in college, I think you can have an expectation (and dare I say, hope) that your little girl doesn't have premarital sex while living in your house as a teenage high schooler, and have that expectation not be because you are a stupid, bigoted, naïve bad parent.

Secondly, IMO it's generally a good idea to not get addicted to porn at any age, but especially as the brain is still developing. There are numerous studies which have been quoted on this site in the past that the access and availability (and extremity in hardcore and fetishes) of viewing porn is unhealthy for developing teenagers. Neurons and pathways and brains and dopamine, etc. This isn't a generation of looking at frontal nudity foldouts while dipping contraband chew in a shed at your best friends house, but you've been online the past 15 years and you know that. It's probably healthy for mature adult men and their sex lives and physical relationships to also not be addicted to pornography, IMO.

Now what is SUPER WEIRD is having your son be your porn accountability partner. Especially if that is a minor and there is a power dynamic of Father/Son still in play. That to me is not only unethical and immoral but almost borderline sexual abuse IMO.

ETA: just read the article, the son is 17. Yuck.

Good points, but what the ever living fuck does religion and Christianity have to do with this topic? As far as I can tell, the people fucking the most in junior high and high school were doing it at church camp, Falls Creek Oklahoma. The points you make are logical, but tying it to morality, and religious morality in particular, is demonstrably problematic for many, many, many reasons. Primarily, if the only reason to refrain from this stuff is displeasing an invisible deity, then it's really easy to say "oops I guess I can make this one up with prayer and forgiveness." Remember that the religious purity types are against sex education or discussing sex at all. I have an 11 year old daughter and I know what's coming. I'm not going to tell her that sex is bad or immoral, I'm going to tell her (we've already started these conversations) that it comes with incredible emotional baggage, and of course stds, pregnancy, derailing your life, etc. She's already seeing the emotional part with her friends having boyfriends and whatnot at that age and she's just not into it. She's also seeing that boys can be really shitty to girls sometimes, we tie that into making good choices when you get older when it comes to boys. She's also told us that she thinks she might like girls, so that's gonna be a whole other pandoras box for me when it comes to how the religious types will treat her if that's who she ultimately becomes.

The porn issue is pretty concerning for my son who isn't that age yet but it'll come for sure. But I know for sure I don't want him crying himself to sleep and torturing himself emotionally the way I did ever time I masterbated because I thought that god and all my dead ancestors were watching and that I was going to hell for having the desires and failing to suppress them. I still have a lot of thinking to do to figure out how to avoid the harmful parts of porn addiction, etc., but I'm sure as fuck not going to make it about guilt for having natural feelings and acting on them in your own fucking room. Again, religion is just so harmful in this context. It's not only unnecessary, it's actively harmful. Like someone said above, the former vice president of the fucking United States refused to be in a room with a woman alone because of his fucked up religious views on sexuality. It's super demeaning to women that he reduces them to sex objects that must be avoided. Fuck him, fuck the speaker, and fuck religion. I'm just done pretending to be nice about it when it's causing such active harm. 

Edited by 'stache
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7 minutes ago, 'stache said:

Good points, but what the ever living fuck does religion and Christianity have to do with this topic? As far as I can tell, the people fucking the most in junior high and high school were doing it at church camp, Falls Creek Oklahoma. The points you make are logical, but tying it to morality, and religious morality in particular, is demonstrably problematic for many, many, many reasons. Primarily, if the only reason to refrain from this stuff is displeasing an invisible deity, then it's really easy to say "oops I guess I can make this one up with prayer and forgiveness." Remember that the religious purity types are against sex education or discussing sex at all. I have an 11 year old daughter and I know what's coming. I'm not going to tell her that sex is bad or immoral, I'm going to tell her (we've already started these conversations) that it comes with incredible emotional baggage, and of course stds, pregnancy, derailing your life, etc. She's already seeing the emotional part with her friends having boyfriends and whatnot at that age and she's just not into it. She's also seeing that boys can be really shitty to girls sometimes, we tie that into making good choices when you get older when it comes to boys. She's also told us that she thinks she might like girls, so that's gonna be a whole other pandoras box for me when it comes to how the religious types will treat her if that's who she ultimately becomes.

The porn issue is pretty concerning for my son who isn't that age yet but it'll come for sure. But I know for sure I don't want him crying himself to sleep and torturing himself emotionally the way I did ever time I masterbated because I thought that god and all my dead ancestors were watching and that I was going to hell for having the desires and failing to suppress them. I still have a lot of thinking to do to figure out how to avoid the harmful parts of porn addiction, etc., but I'm sure as fuck not going to make it about guilt for having natural feelings and acting on them in your own fucking room. Again, religion is just so harmful in this context. It's not only unnecessary, it's actively harmful. Like someone said above, the former vice president of the fucking United States refused to be in a room with a woman alone because of his fucked up religious views on sexuality. It's super demeaning to women that he reduces them to sex objects that must be avoided. Fuck him, fuck the speaker, and fuck religion. I'm just done pretending to be nice about it when it's causing such active harm. 

The only thing I'll add (because I largely agree with your overarching points) is that there is a distinction between being a lazy and bad parent (and spiritual follower of whatever flavor) when you say "Don't do X because I / Vishnu / God / Allah said so". You will get kids giving hj's at the church / synagogue / mosque teenage lock-in that way, as you've alluded, because it's just a dumb roadblock that makes no sense.

When you explain that the reason you don't do XYZ and why your higher power doesn't want you engaging in XYZ, is because life is fuller and better and it's for your greater good and you try to articulate the bigger vision and roadmap of XYZ, that you can get some internal buy-in that actually sticks.

We've all met and can distinguish between the types of people-- those who hold a personal belief and have some moral discipline and those who only outwardly do so because it's never been internalized and it's performative for the culture they were brought in. It's the difference between an internal and external locus of control.

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39 minutes ago, BeardIP said:

I guess then my question is, what is purity culture? If it's engaging in the performative purity balls, then yea, that's over the top and ill-fated and like you said has unintentional consequences (and intentional ones as people are just going through the motions to please their parents). But if purity culture means, as I said above, clearly and responsibly and fairly communicating an expectation of sexual purity and lifting that up as a healthy behavior in your personal and own home for your teenage daughters, then I disagree.

That ain't purity culture. There's nothing clear and responsible with telling children that all sex is wrong and evil and even thinking about it is a sin. Like stache shared, it can and inevitably does lead to a complex of shame and a complete lack of emotional skills to handle when they get to the big day. 

It leads to shit like people rushing to get married only so they can finally fuck, and then learning that neither of them have a healthy relationship with sex. I was the best man at one of those weddings, and boy howdy those Hardin-Simmons grads are some weirdly repressed motherfuckers.

 

Ultimately, it's WRONG to teach children that the core of their value and worth is their sexual purity. And that's the essence of purity culture. 

Edited by Captainant
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21 minutes ago, Captainant said:

That ain't purity culture. There's nothing clear and responsible with telling children that all sex is wrong and evil and even thinking about it is a sin. Like stache shared, it can and inevitably does lead to a complex of shame and a complete lack of emotional skills to handle when they get to the big day. 

It leads to shit like people rushing to get married only so they can finally fuck, and then learning that neither of them have a healthy relationship with sex. I was the best man at one of those weddings, and boy howdy those Hardin-Simmons grads are some weirdly repressed motherfuckers.

 

Ultimately, it's WRONG to teach children that the core of their value and worth is their sexual purity. And that's the essence of purity culture. 

100% agree with everything you just said and I didn't mean to conflate anything otherwise, if it appears I did so.

As I stated in the opening, I can see how, at one point in the beginning of time with these things, the intention was probably good. Over time it's been perverted, pun intended, to these purity balls and borderline sex abuse of porn stuff with your son.

Maybe I am inherently biased and assume too much positive intent because I think the intentions and the heart of the problems they are trying to solve for are good, though.

And you know, as Mike Johnson would probably say himself as a cultural Christian, "The road to Hell is paved with good intentions", and that's where he finds himself.

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54 minutes ago, tx ind said:

image.gif.9ac346c1460f778f08d8bce6579027ff.gif

Fucking A.

 

I didn't go to my senior prom because they tried to make is sign a pledge not to drink and fuck essentially. The previous year a few got a little carried away with the pregame drinks lol.

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Rhett and Link from Good Mythical Morning also had some great reflections on their growing up inside the fundagelical movement and purity culture.

Spoiler

 

 

The last one they did, they invited their wives on to share their experiences and the female experience in purity culture as children and young women. 

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13 minutes ago, G650 said:

Fucking A.

 

I didn't go to my senior prom because they tried to make is sign a pledge not to drink and fuck essentially. The previous year a few got a little carried away with the pregame drinks lol.

We just had to sign a pledge not to drink and drive... Your school sounds cray cray...  Religious School?

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3 minutes ago, locodos said:

We just had to sign a pledge not to drink and drive... Your school sounds cray cray...  Religious School?

No, actually kind of liberal private school. I don't think that was the exact verbiage for obvious reasons but it was pretty all encompassing. One girl from my grade passed out in the foyer in at the principals feet, another in their party tried to fight an admin. IIRC there was some sexing going on in some folks houses where a bunch of us crashed and some parents got wind and got all bent out of shape

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29 minutes ago, conVINCEd said:

We had a cop at the door with a breathalyzer.

That guy had to be questioning his life choices...  Now in S Florida they have a cop with an AR.  The school resource officer at my kids' school was a short woman and the muzzle always looked like it was going to scrape the ground.  True story  

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One of the issues I have with it is what you've outlined above but it's worth noting that the emphasis is primarily on females. Which leads to the second issue, simply the word 'purity' and this was mentioned before as well. The opposite of pure is soiled, dirty, impure, to be held at arm's length. Having the belief, as many evangelicals do, that the male is the head of household and dominant over all, it funnels as does much of religious (extremism in particular) thought towards females are the sin eaters of society. Every guilty thought, every illicit act, every dirty desire that soils the soul, every sin and it's resulting consequence is always the fault of the female forever and ever, amen. Males can say, 'oh no, women have their role within our church, we venerate them for being obedient wives and mothers, etc' but after some discussion one realizes that the flow chart returns back to that one overarching belief that women are to suffer for not being male and to take that suffering and never blame males for it.
Those who would like a theocracy in this country are not so different from those currently ruling Afghanistan. Ask their young women over the age of ten how their education and futures are going....

Bingo. It’s about teaching women that they are property.
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@Mrs Whiggins nails a lot of it. It’s very similar to obsession with purity in super-rigorous Muslim cultures.  
 

Purity codes developed for a time a place when STDs killed, and illegitimate children exploded social bonds and communities.  That’s also why girls were married away at about the time today’s Americans hold these “purity balls.” That’s why dads took it seriously, he would literally lose money if his daughter was “impure.” 
 

I actually agree with a lot of what @BeardIP says.  There are lots of reasons that a high view of human sexuality would encourage sex in committed monogamous relationships at  an age where you are grown up to handle it. It’s good for your interpersonal relationships to not be addicted to porn. I think that’s equally true for boys so I don’t get why you frame it as especially true for girls aside from the old adage that boys can’t become pregnant. 
 

Besides being totally creepy, purity culture is misogynist as hell and incidentally, if you’re into that sort of thing— very much opposed to the gospels and epistles where physical purity rituals are constantly dismissed as legalistic and at odds with a high view of grace. Not that sexual ethics were discarded, but the idea of ritual impurity for any person was.  I mean, he kind of says this explicitly when he forgives a woman accused of it and then elsewhere goes onto say that any man who looks at a woman with lust (something he realizes everyone does and will do) has broken the law just the same.  

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47 minutes ago, 956 Worldwide said:

I actually agree with a lot of what @BeardIP says.  There are lots of reasons that a high view of human sexuality would encourage sex in committed monogamous relationships at  an age where you are grown up to handle it. It’s good for your interpersonal relationships to not be addicted to porn.

 

Our girls, esp teenagers, are reporting very high rates (nearly 60% in some reports) of persistent sadness, loneliness, and despair.  Those rates have been trending up, esp in the last decade or so. Also, very high rates of suicidality and forced sex and sexual violence. Obviously multi-factorial, lots of influences and factors at play. I think that some of the things being discussed here around healthy sexual relationships, pornography access, expectation setting, social media, etc. are playing a role at some meaningful level...man its a very different world compared to when most of us were growing up for teenagers, for both girls and boys. I don't think that a parent choosing to build messaging with their children around abstinence and marriage etc. is particularly toxic. I am unsurprised if some dipshit fundamentalists decide to drop in into a powerpoint slide deck and make a performative gesture out of the thing. That is kinda what they do.   

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6 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

I At that point, I leaned over to my mom and said "so....when I get up, should I mentioned that we all saw her daughter Jane getting fingered by my buddy Steve in the back of the bus on the way back from the basketball game last week?"  

It’s a shame we didn’t have iPhones back then.

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3 minutes ago, Anastasis said:

 

Our girls, esp teenagers, are reporting very high rates (nearly 60% in some reports) of persistent sadness, loneliness, and despair.  Those rates have been trending up, esp in the last decade or so. Also, very high rates of suicidality and forced sex and sexual violence. Obviously multi-factorial, lots of influences and factors at play. I think that some of the things being discussed here around healthy sexual relationships, pornography access, expectation setting, social media, etc. are playing a role at some meaningful level...man its a very different world compared to when most of us were growing up for teenagers, for both girls and boys. I don't think that a parent choosing to build messaging with their children around abstinence and marriage etc. is particularly toxic. I am unsurprised if some dipshit fundamentalists decide to drop in into a powerpoint slide deck and make a performative gesture out of the thing. That is kinda what they do.   

I think your 'expectation setting' is a good point.  When we grew up, if somebody got laid...you were jealous and frustrated but it was just a story.  "Hey, Mikey got some pussy!"  But it was just Mikey's story.  Now, you can see the nudes he got sent, and watch porn, and read about the escapades on social media and think, "Well, why can't I gets mine?"  And the little asshole takes it out on a girl on a date who isn't comfortable getting sexual.  And then she gets shamed and gets sad and depressed, or uses substances, or worse.  

The technology has changed, the landscape has changed, we get it.  But the song remains the same...the shit hits girls the hardest.  They're always on the receiving end whether it's violence, or shaming, or suicide, or being called a prude, or the church judging her, family shunning, etc.  But two things to me really stand out that don't often get talked about, outside of some sort of strange documentation over punch and cake with his daughter.

1)  Females, for 80-90% of human history started being pair-bonded off and having their own children in their teenage years.  That's not good, bad, or indifferent.  That's how the species procreated and thrived.  That's how we got to 110-120 billion humans throughout history.  Once we started civilization and agriculture/animal domestication, then came organized religion (not just local tribal lore).  And women didn't need to have babies so young and so frequently.  We just didn't need as many people as we did before for our family, our band, our tribe, or species to survive.  And so women engaging in sex for non-procreative purposes were suddenly viewed and treated differently.  And the shaming began.  

2)  As far as we've come.  The progress we've made.  Men still have to subjugate women after all these tens of millennia.  It comes in different cloaks and fables and purity galas.  But the message is always the same.  You are less than.  And every single evangelical 'Christian' man I know says the exact same thing, "My wife is the real boss of the house, ha-ha.  I raise my daughters to be independent and strong and never ashamed of who they are."  And what do those same 'men' do, they make sure the other 164,999,997 females in this country are treated as beneath.  If you value women, fucking vote like it.  Don't hide behind the Church or Pledges (not directed at you Ana, but all of us).  

I can't keep telling myself, "Well, it's online porn and pressure to get nudes" that's making boys pressure girls.  We're raising boys in an environment where the men they look up to maybe treat mom okay, but they treat the rest of female society like shit.  Maybe we could start there.  

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2 hours ago, BeardIP said:

100% agree with everything you just said and I didn't mean to conflate anything otherwise, if it appears I did so.

As I stated in the opening, I can see how, at one point in the beginning of time with these things, the intention was probably good. Over time it's been perverted, pun intended, to these purity balls and borderline sex abuse of porn stuff with your son.

Maybe I am inherently biased and assume too much positive intent because I think the intentions and the heart of the problems they are trying to solve for are good, though.

And you know, as Mike Johnson would probably say himself as a cultural Christian, "The road to Hell is paved with good intentions", and that's where he finds himself.

The intention was to show that when you auctioned your daughter off to a husband for money, that the buyer was getting a virgin and not some used up slut that might let questions about the paternity of the children which might them fuck up property and titles.

God you're so gross even with the beard.

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Aw shit man, even I don't do mom insults at Christmas.  I was actually thinking of another yarn of tales you were telling about somebody else in your life/former life.  Sorry, honest mistake where I thought you were going with the joke..  Don't know you in real life, but like me, you seem to cope with stuff with a great sense of humor.  

Alright, thread deflection........................

This holiday season, D.C.'s hottest club is "Purity Balls."  This place has everything:  https://abcnews.go.com/US/speaker-mike-johnson-daughter-profiled-attending-purity-ball/story?id=105785626  

German Correspondents, Bundt Cake, Conga Lines, Contractually obligating 13 year olds with no sense of irony, virgin mojitos, and evangelical bouquets.  

"Evangelical Bouquets, Steffon?" 

Yeah, it's like that thing where like a flower wants to spread its seed but it can't because Mike Johnson notarized the paperwork saying it can't until it's dead but comes again. 

"Okay, well what about families looking to do something more wholesome this holiday season in the nation's capital."

INSURRECTION and STORM, BITCHES! 

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18 hours ago, atomheartbevo said:

That and the third-in-line to the Presidency participated in this weird shit.

Yeah, I mean, I know that a fairly significant percentage of Christians are batshit crazy, obsessed with sexual repression, handle poisonous snakes because reasons, etc.

But when the lunatic fringe gets this close to the freaking nuclear codes, yeah, it's newsworthy.

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1 hour ago, 956 Worldwide said:

I think that’s equally true for boys so I don’t get why you frame it as especially true for girls aside from the old adage that boys can’t become pregnant. 
 

Besides being totally creepy, purity culture is misogynist as hell and incidentally, if you’re into that sort of thing— very much opposed to the gospels and epistles where physical purity rituals are constantly dismissed as legalistic and at odds with a high view of grace. Not that sexual ethics were discarded, but the idea of ritual impurity for any person was.  I mean, he kind of says this explicitly when he forgives a woman accused of it and then elsewhere goes onto say that any man who looks at a woman with lust (something he realizes everyone does and will do) has broken the law just the same.  

 

59 minutes ago, Anastasis said:

 

Our girls, esp teenagers, are reporting very high rates (nearly 60% in some reports) of persistent sadness, loneliness, and despair.  Those rates have been trending up, esp in the last decade or so. Also, very high rates of suicidality and forced sex and sexual violence. Obviously multi-factorial, lots of influences and factors at play. I think that some of the things being discussed here around healthy sexual relationships, pornography access, expectation setting, social media, etc. are playing a role at some meaningful level...man its a very different world compared to when most of us were growing up for teenagers, for both girls and boys. I don't think that a parent choosing to build messaging with their children around abstinence and marriage etc. is particularly toxic. I am unsurprised if some dipshit fundamentalists decide to drop in into a powerpoint slide deck and make a performative gesture out of the thing. That is kinda what they do.   

I framed it as especially true for females because there is this stubborn idea that females have all the power: we can say no or we can say yes, we can use birth control or not, we can give birth or end the pregnancy, but in every case is that truly females having the power if at every turn there is a judgement (by males and society) that we are flawed no matter which of those we 'choose'? Make no mistake, this is as harmful to males as it is to females, but as soon as females begin exercising the choice to get educated and gain some autonomy (admit to having a sex drive, wanting a career, voting, having financial independence), here comes society saying, "yeah no and here are a bunch of reasons why we need you to go back to the way things were when you couldn't do any of those things." SEE: Media articles outlining recent legislation, population decline, etc etc etc.

Females certainly have plenty to answer for with respect to the choices we make, but perhaps it is the very real awareness of some pretty smart and educated young people females who see their position in the impossible dilemma in which they've been placed and the communities around them (families, friends, online communities, influencers, media, etc) that consistently buzz in their ear like a thousand mosquitos about who and what they're supposed to be or THEY ARE WRONG AND AT FAULT. None of that matters anyway because they are always wrong and at fault. Hell, it makes me pretty sad on their behalf.

Having said that, we certainly parented our children with a mixture of sexual education and guidance towards understanding choices and consequences and boundaries that they ought to consider as they navigated adolescence and young adulthood. Abstinence for the right reasons is not 'bad,' but the culture of shame surrounding the female sex drive is abhorrent.

 

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12 minutes ago, Mrs Whiggins said:

 

I framed it as especially true for females because there is this stubborn idea that females have all the power: we can say no or we can say yes, we can use birth control or not, we can give birth or end the pregnancy, but in every case is that truly females having the power if at every turn there is a judgement (by males and society) that we are flawed no matter which of those we 'choose'? Make no mistake, this is as harmful to males as it is to females, but as soon as females begin exercising the choice to get educated and gain some autonomy (admit to having a sex drive, wanting a career, voting, having financial independence), here comes society saying, "yeah no and here are a bunch of reasons why we need you to go back to the way things were when you couldn't do any of those things." SEE: Media articles outlining recent legislation, population decline, etc etc etc.

Females certainly have plenty to answer for with respect to the choices we make, but perhaps it is the very real awareness of some pretty smart and educated young people females who see their position in the impossible dilemma in which they've been placed and the communities around them (families, friends, online communities, influencers, media, etc) that consistently buzz in their ear like a thousand mosquitos about who and what they're supposed to be or THEY ARE WRONG AND AT FAULT. None of that matters anyway because they are always wrong and at fault. Hell, it makes me pretty sad on their behalf.

Having said that, we certainly parented our children with a mixture of sexual education and guidance towards understanding choices and consequences and boundaries that they ought to consider as they navigated adolescence and young adulthood. Abstinence for the right reasons is not 'bad,' but the culture of shame surrounding the female sex drive is abhorrent.

 

To be clear, I was asking why @BeardIP focused on especially girls needing to be advised not to have sex, and not asking you why you rightfully called out this subculture.

  • Hook 'Em 1
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There are posters here that have/had purity pledges with their daughters 

There is/was one poster, I think maybe the recurring animal/tobacco guy, who said he told his wife/daughters to lay back and try to disassociate if ever sexually assaulted and that they should keep a baby if such an assault resulted in a pregnancy.

Also, in a separate post, wanted to send his daughter to Baylor “for the culture.”
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