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Alabama recommends fun be eliminated from recess


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No Red Rover?

Physical education teachers in Alabama should avoid such recess staples as tag, dodgeball and Duck, Duck Goose due to the games' lack of physical stimulation and high chance of embarrassment for students, according to a guidance document from the Alabama State Department of Education.

 
 
AUM share sets off social media debate

The document, first posted two-years ago but updated this week, was shared Tuesday by the Auburn University at Montgomery Physical Education Program and quickly spread on social media. The document has since been removed from the ALSDE website, however, much of it remains in the Alabama Physical Education Instructional Guide which is still available online.

 
 
Inappropriate Activities/Games/Practices

Titled "Inappropriate Activities/Games/Practices," the document lists activities that are "highly recommended and suggested...not be allowed in a physical education program in Alabama." It cites a list of reasons for the warnings, including high likelihood of injury; potential for embarrassment or singling out a student in front of the class or focus on eliminating a student from participation; or over emphasis on fun with no purpose or objective.

 
Yoga
Yoga Journal Conference
Yoga

The first activity on the list is yoga. In 1993, Alabama lawmakers passed a law prohibiting the teaching of yoga in schools, citing a connection between the practice and Hindu religious training. In 2006, then Superintendent Dr. Joseph Morton sent a letter to school saying yoga was not to be offered during regular school hours or after school hours to students on any public school campus in Alabama.

 
Duck, duck, goose

What ALSDE had to say:  "A game of minimal participation, the chosen "goose" attempts to get up from a sitting position and try to catch the "ducker" who only has to go about 60 feet and already had a full running head start. Everyone else just sits and screams at ear-shattering pitch and decibel levels."

 
 
Dodgeball

The avoid list included Dodgeball, or any variation of the game.

"There are no standards in the Alabama Court of Study: Physical Education for any grade that supports/justifies this activity...where a student or students are targets of thrown objects."

 
Giants, Elves and Wizards

Also known as Cranes and Crows, the game is similar to team tag.

"Participation time is at a bare minimum, the rules take forever to explain and even then, the students are confused. The game usually ends when two students crash heads together," the ALSDE said.

 
 
 
Kickball

The classic game kickball has all sorts of issues, according to the ALSDE:

"A game students can organize and play quite well all by themselves as early as second grade. Combine that with minimal activity for 90 percent of the students, the potential for embarrassment when a kicker misses the rolling ball, the opportunity to get players "out" by hitting them as hard as possible with the thrown ball."

 
Musical chairs

Another no-no.

"A classic elimination game in which the least skilled and least attentive students and immediately eliminated and then sent to improve their abilities by sitting on the floor, spinning mindlessly in circles and waiting 15 minutes for the winner (almost always the same student) to be determined."

 
 
Relay races

Relay races can open up a student to ridicule, the ALSDE document contends.

"An eight-minute activity in which a student gets one 20 second chance to "go" and either succeed of fail in front of classmates' eagerly watchful eyes. Successes are generally ignored but failures are fodder for continuing ridicule at least through dismissal at the end of the day."

 
Steal the bacon

The premise of the game is this: Two opposing players come out the center of the court where they compete to grab a small object  - or "bacon" - before the other person.

"Any activity with this potential for embarrassment and absolutely minimal activity time easily qualifies as terrible," ALSDE said.

 
 
Line soccer

ALSDE called this game "a more dangerous version of Steal the Bacon."

"Two opposing players compete in front of the entire class with the final glory being the opportunity to kick a soccer ball as hard as possible directly at the head, stomach or other body part of a member of the defending line."

 
Messy Backyard

Here's how you play Messy Backyard: Students are divided into two teams. The teams then compete to see who can throw the most objects - usually small balls - over the net to the other side in order to "clean" their area.

ALSDE said the game was "misbegotten and mindless."

 
 
Red Rover

Red Rover, Red Rover, send John right over...

Not so fast.

This is a another game on the recommended list of activities to avoid.

"This game is a relic from a time when football and wrestling coaches taught PE to occupy the time during the day and apparently did not care at all about the safety of our students."

 
Simon Says

ALSDE takes a hard line on Simon Says, singling it out for including "gleeful teacher deception."

"This has all the other problems inherent with elimination games, too: removal of unskilled or inattention students, singling out participants for ridicule; and low participation time."

 
 
Spud

A more complicated version of Dodge Ball, ALSDE calls this "another human target bombardment game where students try to hit, hurt and humiliate other classmates with a thrown object.

"At least in Dodgeball, students have a chance to feint, dodge and try to avoid being hit. In this classic game, students are told to "freeze" and then just have to stand there and hope they don't get hit in the teeth."

 
Tag

The ALSDE calls tag a "self-defeating elimination game" that targets "slow and unskilled players" who are left waiting around for the "fastest and best players" to finish. The same players are generally eliminated in every round, the document said. Tag does have some positive attributes, however, and ALSDE said a "creative teacher can fix the problems."

 
 
 
Tug of war

This one is a "throwback to our paramilitary roots," and involves two large groups each grabbing opposite ends of a rope, waiting for the signal to start pulling and then attempting to drag the other group over a center line - preferably into mud.

"Apart from pointless isometric straining for a few seconds or perhaps a minute, is there any real benefit? Does this game actually satisfy any of the criteria for appropriate physical education teaching practice? And it's dangerous! Children get rope burns on their hands, get dragged along the ground, and get trampled on by their teammates."

 
Capture the flag

The ALSDE said this game is a "dinosaur,"  and made the list due to the "large sided/low participation" rates that excludes "the slowest and least-skilled movers."

 
 
Rope climbing

Here's why rope climbing made the list: "The negative aspects of this relic are the low participation rates, the element of  danger, the "made for a lawsuit" thin mat under the rope, the inattentive spotter, the rope burns on  the hands and legs, and the grand spectacle of one student attempting to climb while the rest of the class sits and watches."

 
Scooter soccer

Scooter Soccer teams using riding toys to play soccer. The game leaves many students just sitting on their scooters and others "unengaged" and amounts to a "waste of time," ALSDE said.

 
 
 
 

The documents also lists what ALSDE classifies as "inappropriate teaching practices," including:

 
 
Student on display

This includes any thing where one student performs a routine, skill or tests while everyone else is watching.

"It can be fine for the most talented or confident, but devastating to the fragile self image of low and middle level performers."

 

 
 
 
Other inappropriate teaching practices

Physical education teachers should avoid anything that involves only a portion of the students participating in an activity while others stand around and wait; exercise as punishment; or withholding physical activity as punishment.

 
 
Don't let student captains choose teams

Another thing to avoid: Letting students pick their own teammates.

"This practice turns students looks on one another to humiliate, embarrass, degrade, scar, and damage classmates in front of their peers. There's no need to subject students to this teacher- sanctioned psychological torture."

 
 
 
 
No shirts vs. skins

The practice of dividing boys' teams into shirts - who leave their shirts on  -  vs. skins - who remove their shirts  - is "inappropriate."

"Not only does this suggest the large-sided games we are trying to avoid but the prospect of going shirtless is absolutely horrifying for those students who have low self esteem and poor body images."

 
 
Other things to avoid

Other things to avoid include taking attendance while students sit in lines (a "waste of time") or posting skills test results or grades in a public place.

https://www.al.com/expo/news/erry-2018/08/00d517d6fe1227/tag-kickball-red-rover-musical.html

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17 minutes ago, MadBurgerMaker said:

I wonder if they still play some version of smear the queer.

In the 1970s, they made us change the name to "Pitch Up And Smear". Seriously. Looking back, a better name would have been "Grab the Ball, then Flatten Each Smaller Child One by One as They Imagine They Can Tackle You."

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25 minutes ago, RDCanecutter said:

In the 1970s, they made us change the name to "Pitch Up And Smear". Seriously. Looking back, a better name would have been "Grab the Ball, then Flatten Each Smaller Child One by One as They Imagine They Can Tackle You."

In the 80s, we always just called it Tackle the Man with the Ball when we weren't calling it Smear the Queer.

So what PE games are appropriate for Alabama now other than sister fucking?  Even with soccer and basketball, slow kids just stand around.

Edited by FondrenRoad
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Sister fucking is always done at home. At recess now, they appear to be out and running around screaming happily at the school down the way. I would go closer to see if it's soccer (probably, with the encroachment of communist thought) or something else, but the nice judge told me that I was on my last chance.

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5 minutes ago, smuggs said:

Which version of dodgeball lacks physical stimulation? In middle school we played from baseline to baseline - it was a guaranteed 45 minutes of solid dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge.

Not to mention the toughening up by getting hit with all those wrenches.

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when I was in 6th grade (before the era of athletic classes separate from normal PE), our version of dodgeball was called bombardment, and it was a class with 6-8th graders. cross court on half a basketball court with the giant net partitioning off the other half of the gym. One single volleyball was used for this game, and it was very inflated and could be thrown very hard by bigger kids.  If you got hit, point to the other team and you were out. If the ball was thrown and hit the retracted bleachers on the fly, point to the team that threw it. if you threw it and it was caught by the other team in the air, you were out. 

So not only was the ball coming extremely fucking fast, there was only one ball in play so everyone was watching. The age gap from a 6th grader to 8th grader made for a MASSIVE difference in size, strength, and ability. 6th graders typically would get absolutely obliterated by older kids. several of the 8th graders had mustaches and one guy allegedly drove to school...I would pay big money to have video of these games today. My shining moment was catching (with mostly my chest)a ball hurled at me by the legendary, practically mystical 3rd time 8th grader named Alex, a stoner (jelly- anyone else use that term then?) with vascular arms, shaggy dirty blond hair  and mustache, and rode a Red Line BMX bike that everyone knew was stolen. It was the first time anyone could remember one of his throws being caught, let alone by a mere 6th grader. He was NOT pleased...        

I can't imagine how many angry mamas,  news crews, and lawyers would be stampeding a school that tried that game today...the entire PE staff would be fired, if not arrested as well...fun times!         

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When my mom was teaching, she'd have the kids play a game where they line up in two teams across the court from each other.  She'd number the kids 1-15 on each side, and place a soccer ball in the middle of the court.  Then she'd call out a random number (1-15), and that numbered kid from each side would sprint to the ball and try to kick it first.  It was kind of like that football league that had a similar deal for the opening 'kickoff.'  Inevitably the 2 kids would smack into each other and then collapse on the concrete floor. 

The kids loved it and my mom thought it was hilarious.

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49 minutes ago, Dennis Taylor said:

when I was in 6th grade (before the era of athletic classes separate from normal PE), our version of dodgeball was called bombardment, and it was a class with 6-8th graders. cross court on half a basketball court with the giant net partitioning off the other half of the gym. One single volleyball was used for this game, and it was very inflated and could be thrown very hard by bigger kids.  If you got hit, point to the other team and you were out. If the ball was thrown and hit the retracted bleachers on the fly, point to the team that threw it. if you threw it and it was caught by the other team in the air, you were out. 

So not only was the ball coming extremely fucking fast, there was only one ball in play so everyone was watching. The age gap from a 6th grader to 8th grader made for a MASSIVE difference in size, strength, and ability. 6th graders typically would get absolutely obliterated by older kids. several of the 8th graders had mustaches and one guy allegedly drove to school...I would pay big money to have video of these games today. My shining moment was catching (with mostly my chest)a ball hurled at me by the legendary, practically mystical 3rd time 8th grader named Alex, a stoner (jelly- anyone else use that term then?) with vascular arms, shaggy dirty blond hair  and mustache, and rode a Red Line BMX bike that everyone knew was stolen. It was the first time anyone could remember one of his throws being caught, let alone by a mere 6th grader. He was NOT pleased...        

I

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3 hours ago, MadBurgerMaker said:

I wonder if they still play some version of smear the queer. 

E: "They" being kids just having fun, not as an organized game during pe, of course.

My kids play some stupid fucking game called "snag."  One kid throws a ball into a group of kids.  The kid who catches it in the air then gets to be the thrower.

At least they also still play "wall ball." 

Edited by Don Johnson
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13 minutes ago, Don Johnson said:

My kids play some stupid fucking game called "snag."  One kid throws a ball into a group of kids.  The kid who catches it in the air then gets to be the thrower.

At least they also still play "wall ball." 

BTW the correct way to play wall ball is with a racketball, 1 ball for every 10 kids playing. If you have to spread em, every ball is used.  

GTFO my lawn    

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6 hours ago, smuggs said:

Which version of dodgeball lacks physical stimulation? In middle school we played from baseline to baseline - it was a guaranteed 45 minutes of solid dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge.

We played a politically incorrect version in school called "indian dodgeball". Bowling pins were set on the back line and the goal was to knock all of the opposing team's pins down. It actually encouraged you to sacrifice your body to keep the pins up. I could never figure out why indians had bowling pins.

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4 hours ago, Don Johnson said:

My kids play some stupid fucking game called "snag."  One kid throws a ball into a group of kids.  The kid who catches it in the air then gets to be the thrower.

At least they also still play "wall ball." 

We called wall ball buns up. 

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7 hours ago, Don Johnson said:

My kids play some stupid fucking game called "snag."  One kid throws a ball into a group of kids.  The kid who catches it in the air then gets to be the thrower.

 

We played this game all the time back in the day with a football. This was mid 90s. Can't recall exactly what we called it. If the ball was not caught and hit the ground, the same guy threw it again.

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17 hours ago, RDCanecutter said:

In the 1970s, they made us change the name to "Pitch Up And Smear". Seriously. Looking back, a better name would have been "Grab the Ball, then Flatten Each Smaller Child One by One as They Imagine They Can Tackle You."

From the CSB desk...I'd been playing Smear the Queer in my next door neighbor's yard while my dad and stepmother were having a Sunday afternoon cocktail party. One of the guests was Townes Van Zandt, and old friend of my dad's who my stepmother hated. And to add a little more background, my dad's brother was gay, and my stepmother loved him probably more than she loved my dad or me. 

Anyway, I was about 11 and I came in to the party all sweaty, grass stains all over my pants, maybe a cut or two, and go over to talk to Townes and my stepmother. "Whatcha been doin'?" she asked. And I said "Nothin' much, playin' Smear the Queer."

Her thin lips went white and she smacked me across the face in front of the whole party. Townes was dying laughing.

"What did you use for the ball? Your uncle?" he cackled. Stepmother wanted to smack his ass too but she didn't dare. 

Edited by MaybeACoordinator
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15 hours ago, Dennis Taylor said:

when I was in 6th grade (before the era of athletic classes separate from normal PE), our version of dodgeball was called bombardment, and it was a class with 6-8th graders. cross court on half a basketball court with the giant net partitioning off the other half of the gym. One single volleyball was used for this game, and it was very inflated and could be thrown very hard by bigger kids.  If you got hit, point to the other team and you were out. If the ball was thrown and hit the retracted bleachers on the fly, point to the team that threw it. if you threw it and it was caught by the other team in the air, you were out. 

So not only was the ball coming extremely fucking fast, there was only one ball in play so everyone was watching. The age gap from a 6th grader to 8th grader made for a MASSIVE difference in size, strength, and ability. 6th graders typically would get absolutely obliterated by older kids. several of the 8th graders had mustaches and one guy allegedly drove to school...I would pay big money to have video of these games today. My shining moment was catching (with mostly my chest)a ball hurled at me by the legendary, practically mystical 3rd time 8th grader named Alex, a stoner (jelly- anyone else use that term then?) with vascular arms, shaggy dirty blond hair  and mustache, and rode a Red Line BMX bike that everyone knew was stolen. It was the first time anyone could remember one of his throws being caught, let alone by a mere 6th grader. He was NOT pleased...        

I can't imagine how many angry mamas,  news crews, and lawyers would be stampeding a school that tried that game today...the entire PE staff would be fired, if not arrested as well...fun times!         

Yup, middle school dodgeball between physically mature and immature kids was scary as fuck, as an immature kid.  We had multiple balls, both red and volleyballs.  All semi deflated.  A 175 lb eighth grader exploded a 110 lb sixth grader's face with one once.  It was like the openng scene in SPR on a teen/pre-teen scale.

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At the local HS football games, there is always a pack of kids playing "Butts Up" against a wall under the bleachers. My youngest (7) can't catch worth shit, so he is constantly getting his back and ass lit up by barrages of tennis balls thrown by older, bigger kids. He doesn't GAF, he just wants to show how tough he is by being able to take it, and if he gets lucky, maybe dish it back out.

Warms my heart.

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7 hours ago, Steamboat1874 said:

What the fuck is Duck, Duck Goose?

Christ.  What kind of childhood did you have if you didn’t play duck duck goose?

Today the kids at our schools play pick up games of touch football and soccer.  And Gaga ball... fucking Gaga ball. 

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On 8/30/2018 at 12:38 AM, Dennis Taylor said:

when I was in 6th grade (before the era of athletic classes separate from normal PE), our version of dodgeball was called bombardment, and it was a class with 6-8th graders. cross court on half a basketball court with the giant net partitioning off the other half of the gym. One single volleyball was used for this game, and it was very inflated and could be thrown very hard by bigger kids.  If you got hit, point to the other team and you were out. If the ball was thrown and hit the retracted bleachers on the fly, point to the team that threw it. if you threw it and it was caught by the other team in the air, you were out. 

So not only was the ball coming extremely fucking fast, there was only one ball in play so everyone was watching. The age gap from a 6th grader to 8th grader made for a MASSIVE difference in size, strength, and ability. 6th graders typically would get absolutely obliterated by older kids. several of the 8th graders had mustaches and one guy allegedly drove to school...I would pay big money to have video of these games today. My shining moment was catching (with mostly my chest)a ball hurled at me by the legendary, practically mystical 3rd time 8th grader named Alex, a stoner (jelly- anyone else use that term then?) with vascular arms, shaggy dirty blond hair  and mustache, and rode a Red Line BMX bike that everyone knew was stolen. It was the first time anyone could remember one of his throws being caught, let alone by a mere 6th grader. He was NOT pleased...        

I can't imagine how many angry mamas,  news crews, and lawyers would be stampeding a school that tried that game today...the entire PE staff would be fired, if not arrested as well...fun times!         

BART?

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It’s at almost every elementary school in Austin now.  It’s an octagon pit with wooden waist-high walls.  The whole class gets in and they slap a kickball at each other and off the walls while jumping over and around the ball.  Free-for-all.  No catching, no kicking. If it hits your legs you’re out.  Last man standing wins.  No idea where the name came from.  It’s serious business for 2nd-4th graders  

 

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On 8/31/2018 at 2:48 PM, JimmyJames said:

They never had wall ball in Alabama? That ball hitting your back fuckin hurt. That’s probably been bannned in Texas. 

I only attended one Alabama school system in the 70s, so cannot confirm the doings of all Alabamians past or present. This is my first knowledge of Wall Ball. But due to local variation I never heard of white bbq sauce either until my 40s. Like the many demons cast into the pig, multiple PE coaches would have had their own ideas for torturing kids.

In Junior High we played "Battle Ball" in the gym where you'd sprint to grab three balls in the middle, then it was on, 7th and 8th grade lesser goblins vs the 9th grade uruk-hai. There was a rule that you weren't "out" if they hit you in the head, but trust me, you might be out anyway.

Battle Ball was the only truly fun thing we did. It got banned when one child, fleeing backwards, smashed a window in an exit door and gave himself a concussion. I am sure they did not want to pay for more windows.

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On 9/2/2018 at 10:00 AM, RDCanecutter said:

I only attended one Alabama school system in the 70s, so cannot confirm the doings of all Alabamians past or present. This is my first knowledge of Wall Ball. But due to local variation I never heard of white bbq sauce either until my 40s. Like the many demons cast into the pig, multiple PE coaches would have had their own ideas for torturing kids.

In Junior High we played "Battle Ball" in the gym where you'd sprint to grab three balls in the middle, then it was on, 7th and 8th grade lesser goblins vs the 9th grade uruk-hai. There was a rule that you weren't "out" if they hit you in the head, but trust me, you might be out anyway.

Battle Ball was the only truly fun thing we did. It got banned when one child, fleeing backwards, smashed a window in an exit door and gave himself a concussion. I am sure they did not want to pay for more windows.

Yep Battle Ball was a thing up in TN too. 

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22 minutes ago, MaybeACoordinator said:

Yep Battle Ball was a thing up in TN too. 

Come to think of it, in my medium-sized Alabama county there were at least 6 junior high schools. They might as well have been in different states; I have zero idea what they were playing at the other 5.  It could have been completely different at each one.

We are truly the blind men trying to describe the elephant.

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