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Slutcon (Apropos of Incels, White Male Millennials, Gen Z Nihilism, #MeToo, and Declining Birth Rates)


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Posted

https://slate.com/life/2025/12/women-sex-men-dating-california-trip.html

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Touched for the Very First Time

Can “slut camp” cure America’s stunted young men?

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Deep in California’s East Bay, on a mild fall night, a 32-year-old we’ll call Simon told me that minutes earlier, for the first time in his life, he had felt a woman’s breasts. The two of us were hunched over a firepit on a discreet wooden terrace while he recounted what had happened: The woman, with a charitable smile and some gentle encouragement, had invited his hand to her body. She let him linger there for a spell—sensing her contours, appreciating her shape—before he pulled away. Now Simon was staring into the embers, contemplating these intrepid steps out of the virginity that had shackled him for so long. He seemed in a bit of a daze.

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It’s a dangerous game that Slutcon plays. The organizers entertain the idea that to rehabilitate our decaying norms about intimacy, men need to shake off their fears about sex—with the help of women willing to grant leniency to their erotic forays. Almost a decade removed from #MeToo and the astonishing reckoning it unleashed, it was difficult for me to completely sign off on that. It wasn’t that Slutcon was a reactionary project or was concocting a backward tradwife fantasy. But the event did unambiguously assert that men alone are unable to fix our ailing sexual culture. At Slutcon, masculinity in itself was not toxic. Women too, people here argued, had a hand in this unraveling. And if these men and women could spend a weekend committed to radical empathy between the genders—blurring the line between sex education and sex work—maybe we’d relearn a skill that feels crucial to our survival. As the weekend wore on, I started to see their point.

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On the first night of Slutcon, Aella—the pseudonymous blogger, escort, and internet eccentric who is one of the event’s primary organizers—took the stage at the main pavilion for something of a keynote address. “We are pro-men here,” she said, outlining what the audience could expect from the days ahead. The attendees were reminded that the “flirtees” had consensually opted in to the weekend’s affairs and all were adept at interfacing with clueless suitors. Aella implored the crowd to release inhibitions, to breathe freely, to dig deep within their souls and excavate their inner vixen. Yes, she reminded the room, the women would maintain their personal boundaries, which were always to be respected. (“Some of you will find out in brutal detail that you are giving a girl the ick,” Aella said.) But also, she said, the men here shouldn’t fear bumping against those boundaries—and ought to receive the feedback that resulted graciously, with an open heart. As she wrapped up her remarks, she left the men with a homework assignment: At some point in the next three days, they should ask a woman if they could touch her boobs.

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“I was talking to one of the guys about his time on the incel forums, and another guy about his time in Afghanistan. They seemed to get emotional about it. It was a good talk,” Baca told me later on. “I was honored that they were willing to tell me about that.”

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Among those most in need of help was Gerald, a 34-year-old dressed in a neatly pressed blazer, who told me that for as long as he could remember, he had fantasized about a woman swallowing him whole. It’s not necessarily the idea of being bathed in the saliva of a gargantuan maw that turns him on, though that’s not to say that the idea doesn’t turn him on. Instead, Gerald explained to me, he wants to become one with a digestive system—disintegrated in fizzy stomach acid, squeezed through rubbery pink bowels.

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Chesed, a pseudonymous associate of Aella and one of Slutcon’s chief organizers, told me that possibility represented by far the most stressful element of planning the event. “The most obvious failure we could have is if a girl had a really bad time here or, God forbid, got assaulted,” she said. That’s why the grounds of Slutcon were heavy with reflective vest–donned security personnel, and why the venue’s location had not been disclosed to the public. But maybe the best preventive measure Chesed had put in place was how she screened the flirtees.

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zmyth responded with a story about what she thinks Slutcon stands for. A few years ago, she hit it off with a guy at a party. At the end of the night, when she went to hug everyone goodbye, he slid his hand down her back and touched her butt. “I clenched; I shut down. And I drove away thinking about how I didn’t like that,” she said. But when she recalls the incident now, she wonders what would have happened if, rather than retreating inward, she had immediately spoken up and told him not to touch her that way again.

“I know he would have said, ‘Oh my God, I’m so sorry.’ The night would have moved on, and I wouldn’t have held it against him,” she said. “Essentially, I want to build a culture where we are speaking up for ourselves. We’re so afraid of it—I’m afraid of it—but that reinforces a world where we’re scared to reject someone. It doesn’t mean it’s going to be comfy, but it’s important to encourage that behavior.”

Azmyth was gliding over some important caveats. Politeness is just one reason someone might fear rejecting a man—violence and personal or professional retaliation also come to mind. Nevertheless, the other flirtees in the building had taken up her charge, and some had found it uncommonly invigorating. Rather than making themselves small and relying on the typical evasive tactics when an attendee violated their boundaries—excusing themselves to the bathroom, stepping away to receive a fake phone call, enduring the interaction through gritted teeth—the volunteers were encouraged to slam the door on a prospective suitor, no questions asked. It connected back to Slutcon’s foundational thesis: Ideally, this is a pro-man environment defanged of manospheric tendencies. Whether they liked it or not, attendees would learn to weather the rejection. And more importantly, after being curtly dismissed by a flirtee, they might realize that it wasn’t so bad after all.

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Posted
17 minutes ago, chainsaw said:

Rather than making themselves small and relying on the typical evasive tactics when an attendee violated their boundaries—excusing themselves to the bathroom, stepping away to receive a fake phone call, enduring the interaction through gritted teeth—the volunteers were encouraged to slam the door on a prospective suitor, no questions asked

“Slutcon” sounds like false advertising 

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Posted (edited)

WTF?   Anyone who’s met me IRL (Immamac, Bolverk holla) can truthfully testify under oath that one Gatorubet is not a handsome man.

And yet, even my pathetic self convinced 30 or so females to be willing sexual partners when I was a yute. 

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What the hell is going on?

After our company Christmas party, I wound up in the French Quarter that, as always, is filled to brim with holiday partiers.    There were lots of really attractive younger women roaming  around.  But I noticed they were all in groups of five or six, and there was never any man with them.    It was weird, just a huge number of really attractive women and no men to be seen.  They were decked out in their cocktail dresses and wearing their Christmas finery.   If I was 30-40 years younger, it would’ve been an amazing target rich environment. 

Again, what the hell is going on?

Edit: having said that, literally hundreds of evidently smart women told me to go fuck myself…

Do we have a generation of snowflakes that are so sensitive that after being shut down by some women, they just refused to swing the bat again?

Swing. The. Fucking. Bat!!!

Edited by Gatorubet
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Posted
Just now, Celery Man said:

Flash forward 6 months


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you say the defendant engaged you sexually and led you on emotionally, all while draining your bank account to zero. And you met her at… what was this event called?

 

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Posted
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Among those most in need of help was Gerald, a 34-year-old dressed in a neatly pressed blazer, who told me that for as long as he could remember, he had fantasized about a woman swallowing him whole. It’s not necessarily the idea of being bathed in the saliva of a gargantuan maw that turns him on, though that’s not to say that the idea doesn’t turn him on. Instead, Gerald explained to me, he wants to become one with a digestive system—disintegrated in fizzy stomach acid, squeezed through rubbery pink bowels.


GIF by moodman

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Posted
4 hours ago, chainsaw said:

a 32-year-old we’ll call Simon told me that minutes earlier, for the first time in his life, he had felt a woman’s breasts.

Damn, I played with titties for the first time in 7th grade. I can't even fathom waiting until I was 32 to touch a titty. 

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Posted
26 minutes ago, F250 said:

Damn, I played with titties for the first time in 7th grade. I can't even fathom waiting until I was 32 to touch a titty. 

At birth I came out of the womb and immediately started playing with titties.

Since then I have spent the majority of my life trying to play with titties and get back in the womb. 
 

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Posted
8 hours ago, F250 said:

Damn, I played with titties for the first time in 7th grade. I can't even fathom waiting until I was 32 to touch a titty. 

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Posted
11 minutes ago, Iceman said:

$1000 to $9000 per ticket.  

Incels will spend money on anything to meet women, except personal grooming, a gym membership and nicer clothes.  Because those things make you approachable. 

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Posted
18 minutes ago, Js1 said:

Incels will spend money on anything to meet women, except personal grooming, a gym membership and nicer clothes.  Because those things make you approachable. 

The real thing they're spending the money on isn't meeting women, it's meeting women who can't say no. 

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Posted
14 hours ago, Gatorubet said:

Do we have a generation of snowflakes that are so sensitive that after being shut down by some women, they just refused to swing the bat again?

Swing. The. Fucking. Bat!!!

More than anything else, it's this.  It's cowardice ingrained as a result of a sheltered existence.  We don't know how to fail/suffer rejection anymore.  You only succeed....after you've failed.  Often after you've failed a LOT.  I distinctly remember the mental epiphany of "wait....right now, she's not going out with me.  If I go up to her and flirt and ask her out and she says no....she's still not going out with me.  I've lost absolutely nothing."  Which led me to swing the bat, plenty.  And the cool thing is, you only care about the hits.  Nobody is counting the strikeouts, they don't fucking matter.  Their are 3.5 billion women in the world.  All but a dozen or so have never hooked up with me, and never will.  Yet I'm still winning.  Pretty awesome when you realize that's how shit works.

24 minutes ago, Js1 said:

Incels will spend money on anything to meet women, except personal grooming, a gym membership and nicer clothes.  Because those things make you approachable. 

And this.  Truly, it's interesting listening to my son talk about his peer group, and how the dynamics break down.  He has nothing but disdain for the socially stunted losers who just retreated into video games and porn and don't understand why women don't want to get with their socially stunted slightly smelly selves.  As he puts it, "it takes so little damned effort.  Take a little bit of care of yourself, put yourself out there, and talk with women like they are human beings."  That's it.  And I remember figuring various elements of that out at his age as well, as I assume most of us did.

Is this sort of convention helpful?  The sad thing is, it may be.  Truly, an experience with an escort, who can actually guide a naive man a little bit into knowing what women respond to positively, really might help some of these guys.  I dunno.  At this point, a dude in his 30s who's never touched a boob needs some pretty serious measures to get him on track.

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Posted

Women will almost never be able to help a guy get other women because they rarely ever understand why they get with the guys they do. 

For that reason, these controlled interactions are only useful if it gets those guys more comfortable with the idea of women in general.

Even then, if people ever found out about their participation in this event, they would be irreversibly diminished in whatever decent social circle they make their way into. 

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Posted
46 minutes ago, Js1 said:

Incels will spend money on anything to meet women, except personal grooming, a gym membership and nicer clothes.  Because those things make you approachable. 

She nails it perfectly, especially about how easy it is to get laid. “Just take up kayaking, women will fuck you” or something along those lines.  
 

 

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Posted (edited)
8 minutes ago, Anastasis said:

Symptoms of a failing culture and society. 

It sort of makes sense that people who are afraid of women and rejection would be willing to pay big money for exposure therapy. There are some incomplete thoughts raised in the story that are worth further exploration. The problem is that there's no way to shake the overwhelming urge to point and laugh at these guys, nor any way to avoid the impression you got which is that we're in a failing society. As a result, none of those incomplete thoughts are explored.

If we're being totally honest though, there have always been men who would have paid for this, if it had been possible to organize in their day. So I'm not sure I agree that this is some sort of novel social ill.

Edited by chainsaw
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Posted
1 hour ago, atomheartbevo said:

She nails it perfectly, especially about how easy it is to get laid. “Just take up kayaking, women will fuck you” or something along those lines.  

Get a really friendly dog, go to the dog park at the same time every day, you'll meet people (women)

 

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Posted
17 minutes ago, Js1 said:

Get a really friendly dog, go to the dog park at the same time every day, you'll meet people (women)

 

I tried this, but my dog is an asshole to other dogs. Now I'm all out of ideas!

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Posted
2 hours ago, wildcat09 said:

The real thing they're spending the money on isn't meeting women, it's meeting women who can't say no. 

Always Sunny GIF by hero0fwar

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Posted

To take that a step further: hit the gym, wear better fitting/matching clothes, and groom yourself, then get someone to take a ton of pics of you and said dog in the park along with a few other activity/well dressed pics and put them on the main dating apps and you’ll have more women than you’ll know what to do with. 
 

Even if you suck in person, you’ll get better from all that failure if you’re willing to experiment and adapt.

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Posted
1 hour ago, Brisketexan said:

More than anything else, it's this.  It's cowardice ingrained as a result of a sheltered existence.  We don't know how to fail/suffer rejection anymore.  You only succeed....after you've failed.  Often after you've failed a LOT.  I distinctly remember the mental epiphany of "wait....right now, she's not going out with me.  If I go up to her and flirt and ask her out and she says no....she's still not going out with me.  I've lost absolutely nothing."  Which led me to swing the bat, plenty.  And the cool thing is, you only care about the hits.  Nobody is counting the strikeouts, they don't fucking matter.  Their are 3.5 billion women in the world.  All but a dozen or so have never hooked up with me, and never will.  Yet I'm still winning.  Pretty awesome when you realize that's how shit works.

The shotgun approach, this is also something I learned as a teenager.

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Posted
30 minutes ago, chainsaw said:

If we're being totally honest though, there have always been men who would have paid for this, if it had been possible to organize in their day. So I'm not sure I agree that this is some sort of novel social ill.

Agreed.  Those inclined towards doomsday scenarios (like those indoctrinated by the doomsday cult that currently dominates our country) will see everything they don't like or understand as the sign of a failing society, because it's what they're conditioned to see.  This behavior is what makes cable news so successful.    In reality, this is not a large percentage of people, and the only reason incels are worth noting at all is that they have contributed a certain amount of violence to our society.  The folks who are driving that anger for their own benefit are more worthy of concern.

As for the bigger picture, the birth rate isn't falling because young people aren't fucking.  That's nonsense, even if they're doing so at a slightly lower rate than past generations.  People don't want to raise kids anymore.  It's too expensive and a giant pain in the ass.  I get why young people are avoiding it.  They're still fucking, though.  Lower teen pregnancy is the primary driver of the lower birth rate in recent years, so perhaps teens aren't fucking as much, I guess.  It could just as easily be the case that they're just smarter and more of them use protection.

The story in the OP is more about grifters making an easy buck off of sad losers than it is about any deep-seated societal ill, unless we want to discuss how open range capitalism allows for such grifters to operate with impunity. 

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Posted

A few months ago it was a glorious Fall day on a Friday morning.. the first day that it wasn't 100 degrees, so like 83 but a beautiful day. On the way to the grocery store, I pass by a Gamestop. There's a line out the door and it's wrapped around the building. It was all dudes in their 20's waiting to buy some Japanese anime sorcery bullshit. In the line outside, I counted 7 umbrellas. So these dudes in their 20's were holding umbrellas on a perfect day to shield themselves from the sun. I couldn't help but feel bad for them and humanity.

Sorry if it was any of you guys in that line FWIW, but get a life 

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Posted
9 minutes ago, texashorne said:

There's a line out the door and it's wrapped around the building. It was all dudes in their 20's waiting to buy some Japanese anime sorcery bullshit. In the line outside, I counted 7 umbrellas. So these dudes in their 20's were holding umbrellas on a perfect day to shield themselves from the sun

I guess they never got the memo.

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Posted
47 minutes ago, Js1 said:

Get a really friendly dog, go to the dog park at the same time every day, you'll meet people (women)

 

One of my sons got in some trouble as a teenager and had to do community service at a local animal shelter. He only had to do a few weeks of community service but kept going there long after he was required. 

I finally asked why he was still going to the animal shelter and he said it's the best place to meet girls. There was a well trained german shepherd at the shelter that wasn't up for adoption. He would show up and walked that dog until he ran across a girl then offer a tour of the place.

All the benefits of having a great dog but without the responsibility of ownership. Plus he played up the volunteer aspect.

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Posted
5 minutes ago, Schulz2.0 said:

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In the parlance of Slutcon, these professionals are referred to as its “flirt girls” or, more colloquially, its “flirtees.” Wearing plastic green wristbands that designated their consent, they darted between the men, sultry and warm, prepared to host anyone who endeavored an approach. Men brave enough to try would be rewarded with their most coveted desire: a chance to speak with, caress, or, hell, maybe even have sex with someone they were attracted to in a controlled environment, where fears of offense were nullified. After all, Slutcon is what its founders call “a place to experiment without getting canceled.”

Basically, a frat party with training wheels.

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Posted
Just now, Brisketexan said:

you want some poontang?

It's deeper than that. They're pathologically afraid of women. Like a small child who never played catch because they're afraid of the ball.

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