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Posted
5 minutes ago, Horn Dog said:

I can tell you that those of us in medicine can universally attest that people will shove just about anything in their ass.

Here's a list (along with penis and vaginal insertions)

https://defector.com/what-did-we-get-stuck-in-our-rectums-last-year-5

 

Quote

Do you realize that this is the 12th year we've run this series? Time really flies when you don't have something lodged up your butt. But for those of you who do, read on to see if you made this year's list of the weirdest stuff that entered America's orifices. If not, there's always next year.

All reports are taken from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's database of emergency room visits, all descriptions are verbatim, and all the entries below involved some very poor decisions.

 

Spoiler

Penis

AIRPOD

PEN CAP

PEN

COFFEE STIRRER

SCREW

PAPER CLIP

WAX STRAW

4 INCH METAL TUBE

"TOOK A PIECE OF PLASTIC COATED PAPER FROM A MILK CONTAINER, ROLLED IT TIGHTLY, WRAPPED IT WITH TAPE TO THE SIZE OF 'GREATER THAN A CRAYON' AND INSERTED IT AS FAR AS HE COULD INTO HIS PENIS SEVERAL HOURS AGO"

HANDLE OF PLASTIC SPOON

PLASTIC FORK

GLUE

ROLLED UP MAGAZINE PAGE

RING FROM POWERADE BOTTLE

DOMINO

PHONE CHARGING CABLE

THERMOMETER

 

Vagina

PLASTIC CUBE

PLASTIC TRICERATOPS

BOBBY PIN

SHOT GLASS

STATUE

TOY FIRE TRUCK

EGG

"PATIENT REPORTS PARTNER WAS WEARING AN ENHANCEMENT APPARATUS THAT BECAME STUCK FOLLOWING INTERCOURSE"

SPORK

BAR OF SOAP

DEODORANT

PERFUME BOTTLE

PENCIL

2 PENCILS

PENCIL, SIDEWAYS

"PLACED A DEVICE THAT HAS A VAGINAL SEX TOY AND AN ANAL PORTION WHICH ARE CONNECTED BY RUBBER CORD BOTH INTO HER VAGINA.THEY WERE UNABLE TO RETRIEVE. THEY DID HAVE SOME ALCOHOL THIS EVE"

CURLING IRON

DRY ERASE MARKER

SPOON

KNIFE

BAG OF SOIL

"WAS ROUGHHOUSING WITH HER HUSBAND WHO LIFTED HER UP AND ACCIDENTALLY DROPPED HER ON A HOT DOG COOKER. VAGINAL BLEEDING"

KEYS

CANDLE

CLIMBING PEG

FINGER PUPPET

MICROCHIP

 

Rectum

"PATIENT STATES THAT HIM AND HIS WIFE 'GOT CARRIED AWAY' AND A PORTION OF A PLASTIC SCREWDRIVER HANDLE IS IN HIS RECTUM"

XYLOPHONE MALLET

FOAM BALL

12-INCH RATCHET EXTENDER, "DOESN'T KNOW WHY"

CYLINDRICAL WOODEN BLOCK

COOKING SPRAY

"PATIENT STATES SHE BELIEVES SHE HAS A VIBRATOR IN EITHER HER RECTUM OR VAGINA"

SHAMPOO BOTTLE

LOTION BOTTLE

CAN OF DEODORANT

PLASTIC BOTTLE WITH THE BOTTOM CUT OFF

"ANKLE, ABDOMINAL, AND NECK PAIN AFTER JUMPING OFF OF A 2ND FLOOR BALCONY. FOREIGN BODY IN RECTUM"

BROOMSTICK

18-INCH DILDO

DILDO FROM 4 DAYS AGO

"SHOVED A BAG CONTAINING 20 HYDROXYZINE PILLS INTO HIS RECTUM FOR 'STREET CRED'"

3 AAA BATTERIES

2 AA BATTERIES

1 D BATTERY

"TRIED TO 'REMOVE POOP' WITH A PEN FEW DAYS AGO, LOST PEN IN RECTUM"

50 CENT PIECE

SCRUB BRUSH

"HAS A PLASTIC BABY BOTTLE UP HER RECTUM. PATIENT STATES SHE AND HER MALE PARTNER WERE 'GETTING KINKY'"

WIRE HANGER

ENEMA BOTTLE

2 PLASTIC BOTTLES AND A SHOT GLASS

TAIL OF TOY DINOSAUR

"PATIENT STATES HE TRIPPED IN THE SHOWER AND FELL BACKWARDS AND LANDED ON A SHAMPOO BOTTLE WHICH BECAME LODGED IN HIS ANUS"

"PATIENT STATES SLIPPED AND FELL IN THE BATHTUB LANDING ON A SHARK TOY"

BABY SHARK TOY

CIGARETTE LIGHTER

TOOTHBRUSH HOLDER

"TOOK CLONAZEPAM DOSE THREE TIMES INSTEAD OF ONCE AND HAS A BATTERY IN RECTUM AND HAS NAUSEA"

LIGHT BULB

LIGHT BULB, BROKEN

"TOOK VIBRATOR OUT OF ANUS, NOTICED BATTERY HAD FALLEN OUT"

BOTTLE OF GHB

BOARD GAME PIECE

METAL TOILET PAPER HOLDER

"MOTORIZED TIRE PUMP INSERTED IN HER RECTUM AND WAS INSUFFLATED FOR A DURATION OF APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES"

MARBLES

DARTS

PLASTIC LEMON

FAKE BANANA

JELL-O MOLD

"PATIENT REPORTS 'I JUST GOT MARRIED' PRESENTS WITH A SEX TOY STUCK INSIDE HIS RECTUM"

 

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Posted
19 minutes ago, Horn Dog said:

I can tell you that those of us in medicine can universally attest that people will shove just about anything in their ass.

Yea and that’s just those of us that work in medicine, the patients are even crazier

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Posted
9 minutes ago, Francisco 2.0 said:

Here's a list (along with penis and vaginal insertions)

https://defector.com/what-did-we-get-stuck-in-our-rectums-last-year-5

  Reveal hidden contents

Penis

AIRPOD

PEN CAP

PEN

COFFEE STIRRER

SCREW

PAPER CLIP

WAX STRAW

4 INCH METAL TUBE

"TOOK A PIECE OF PLASTIC COATED PAPER FROM A MILK CONTAINER, ROLLED IT TIGHTLY, WRAPPED IT WITH TAPE TO THE SIZE OF 'GREATER THAN A CRAYON' AND INSERTED IT AS FAR AS HE COULD INTO HIS PENIS SEVERAL HOURS AGO"

HANDLE OF PLASTIC SPOON

PLASTIC FORK

GLUE

ROLLED UP MAGAZINE PAGE

RING FROM POWERADE BOTTLE

DOMINO

PHONE CHARGING CABLE

THERMOMETER

 

Vagina

PLASTIC CUBE

PLASTIC TRICERATOPS

BOBBY PIN

SHOT GLASS

STATUE

TOY FIRE TRUCK

EGG

"PATIENT REPORTS PARTNER WAS WEARING AN ENHANCEMENT APPARATUS THAT BECAME STUCK FOLLOWING INTERCOURSE"

SPORK

BAR OF SOAP

DEODORANT

PERFUME BOTTLE

PENCIL

2 PENCILS

PENCIL, SIDEWAYS

"PLACED A DEVICE THAT HAS A VAGINAL SEX TOY AND AN ANAL PORTION WHICH ARE CONNECTED BY RUBBER CORD BOTH INTO HER VAGINA.THEY WERE UNABLE TO RETRIEVE. THEY DID HAVE SOME ALCOHOL THIS EVE"

CURLING IRON

DRY ERASE MARKER

SPOON

KNIFE

BAG OF SOIL

"WAS ROUGHHOUSING WITH HER HUSBAND WHO LIFTED HER UP AND ACCIDENTALLY DROPPED HER ON A HOT DOG COOKER. VAGINAL BLEEDING"

KEYS

CANDLE

CLIMBING PEG

FINGER PUPPET

MICROCHIP

 

Rectum

"PATIENT STATES THAT HIM AND HIS WIFE 'GOT CARRIED AWAY' AND A PORTION OF A PLASTIC SCREWDRIVER HANDLE IS IN HIS RECTUM"

XYLOPHONE MALLET

FOAM BALL

12-INCH RATCHET EXTENDER, "DOESN'T KNOW WHY"

CYLINDRICAL WOODEN BLOCK

COOKING SPRAY

"PATIENT STATES SHE BELIEVES SHE HAS A VIBRATOR IN EITHER HER RECTUM OR VAGINA"

SHAMPOO BOTTLE

LOTION BOTTLE

CAN OF DEODORANT

PLASTIC BOTTLE WITH THE BOTTOM CUT OFF

"ANKLE, ABDOMINAL, AND NECK PAIN AFTER JUMPING OFF OF A 2ND FLOOR BALCONY. FOREIGN BODY IN RECTUM"

BROOMSTICK

18-INCH DILDO

DILDO FROM 4 DAYS AGO

"SHOVED A BAG CONTAINING 20 HYDROXYZINE PILLS INTO HIS RECTUM FOR 'STREET CRED'"

3 AAA BATTERIES

2 AA BATTERIES

1 D BATTERY

"TRIED TO 'REMOVE POOP' WITH A PEN FEW DAYS AGO, LOST PEN IN RECTUM"

50 CENT PIECE

SCRUB BRUSH

"HAS A PLASTIC BABY BOTTLE UP HER RECTUM. PATIENT STATES SHE AND HER MALE PARTNER WERE 'GETTING KINKY'"

WIRE HANGER

ENEMA BOTTLE

2 PLASTIC BOTTLES AND A SHOT GLASS

TAIL OF TOY DINOSAUR

"PATIENT STATES HE TRIPPED IN THE SHOWER AND FELL BACKWARDS AND LANDED ON A SHAMPOO BOTTLE WHICH BECAME LODGED IN HIS ANUS"

"PATIENT STATES SLIPPED AND FELL IN THE BATHTUB LANDING ON A SHARK TOY"

BABY SHARK TOY

CIGARETTE LIGHTER

TOOTHBRUSH HOLDER

"TOOK CLONAZEPAM DOSE THREE TIMES INSTEAD OF ONCE AND HAS A BATTERY IN RECTUM AND HAS NAUSEA"

LIGHT BULB

LIGHT BULB, BROKEN

"TOOK VIBRATOR OUT OF ANUS, NOTICED BATTERY HAD FALLEN OUT"

BOTTLE OF GHB

BOARD GAME PIECE

METAL TOILET PAPER HOLDER

"MOTORIZED TIRE PUMP INSERTED IN HER RECTUM AND WAS INSUFFLATED FOR A DURATION OF APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES"

MARBLES

DARTS

PLASTIC LEMON

FAKE BANANA

JELL-O MOLD

"PATIENT REPORTS 'I JUST GOT MARRIED' PRESENTS WITH A SEX TOY STUCK INSIDE HIS RECTUM"

 

It's not the exact video I wanted but we'll have to make do:

 

Posted
15 minutes ago, Horn Dog said:

I can tell you that those of us in medicine can universally attest that people will shove just about anything in their ass.

I knew a guy that worked in an ER part-time during college. Said a guy came in with a beer bottle up his ass, big end first.  When they asked him how it got there he said he "fell" on it in the shower. Then not telling his wife he drove himself to the ER. When they went to remove it, it broke inside his anus. So kids do not shove glass objects inside your orifices.

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Posted
2 minutes ago, Jhawkmvp said:

I knew a guy that worked in an ER part-time during college. Said a guy came in with a beer bottle up his ass, big end first.  When they asked him how it got there he said he "fell" on it in the shower. Then not telling his wife he drove himself to the ER. When they went to remove it, it broke inside his anus. So kids do not shove glass objects inside your orifices.

 

Posted

Remember when the Clintons were free basing adrenochrome from blood children with Jay Z and Beyoncé? Weird that the people freaking about that don’t care about the very real child rapists we’re now seeing.

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Posted

These are all communications made by people who never in a million years believed they would ever face any kind of consequences, EVEN AFTER Epstein had actually been convicted of and did time for pimping minor girls. This is how little they think of you. Of all of us.

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Posted
I'm starting to think one of the Epstein victims died and that's the cover-up.  That's the "secret" between Trump and Epstein.

Yep, he beat a child to death after she laughed at his mushroom dick. It would be on tape because Epstein filmed everything.
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Posted
Just now, CooterBrown said:

It would be on tape because Epstein filmed everything.

They probably recorded a director's commentary on the snuff film, pressed a batch of limited edition DVDs, and distributed them to their inner circle as a gag gift.

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Posted
On 11/12/2025 at 5:56 PM, The Dog said:

Remember- the problem for Trump and the GOP is that this is THEIR baby. 

They are the ones who campaigned on this all throughout 2024.

It was people like Patel and Boingboing who promoted the conspiracy theory around these files.

They are the ones who released a bunch of binders (PHASE ONE!) to MAGA influencers - who discovered it was stuff they already knew.

It was AG Blondie who said “THE FILES ARE ON MY DESK!”

Democrats didn’t give a shit. 

THEN…

The FBI found Trump’s name all over the files. 

Blondie and Kash tell Trump.

Trump tells them to kill it, resulting in the infamous “nothing to see here case closed” memo.

MAGA goes ballistic on Blondie.

Blondie tries to throw Kash and Boingboing under the bus.

Kash and Boingboing retaliate.

Democrats say “heeyyy….maybe releasing these files isn’t a bad idea!”

And guess what? MAGA AGREES!

The Democrats didn’t a great job just applying gentle pressure, simply saying “Release the Epstein Files” as a retort to any idiotic thing MAGA reps said.

Now the GOP is stuck in a trap of their own creation, and cannot make it go away.

Glorious.

For 'tis the sport to have the engineer / Hoist with his own petard

Posted
1 hour ago, Hank_Hill said:

Remember when the Clintons were free basing adrenochrome from blood children with Jay Z and Beyoncé? Weird that the people freaking about that don’t care about the very real child rapists we’re now seeing.

Even better was Tom Hanks and Oprah Winfrey who were doing adenochrome to look young.

Even though both pretty much look every day of their ages.

And they get real sheepish when you tell them "well maybe you were right, maybe Epstein didn't kill himself."



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