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Nice Guy Eddie

Official 2019 bitch about family/holiday drama thread

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Same.  I have to live vicariously through you fuckers.

Thanksgiving - will be in India
Christmas - will have just moved 1,000 miles away from my godawful family 10 days prior.  Just me, my dog and our first white Christmas.  How God intended it to be. 

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This thread makes the holidays tolerable.  Sadly, I don't think I'll have much to contribute.  My crazy stepmother is getting old and frail.  She no longer has the energy to be a dumb fuck.

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I am sure I will be able to contribute this year.  Going to be at the in-laws for Thanksgiving and usually we do Thanksgiving at our house and I do the turkey etc.  But not this year so I am going to be out of my comfort zone and not happy about it.

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Just now, Moby Ric said:

I am sure I will be able to contribute this year.  Going to be at the in-laws for Thanksgiving and usually we do Thanksgiving at our house and I do the turkey etc.  But not this year so I am going to be out of my comfort zone and not happy about it.

One or two words: liquor and weed.

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We generally go to my sister in law's house for Thanksgiving. When everyone attends, we have 20 people there. Its a good time, fry a couple of turkeys, watch football.

2 years ago, my parents joined us. They had never joined us before, but we were going to the game the next day and wanted to get the visits in one shot. It was a big deal to get them to drive to Austin for this. As my parents and my family arrive at my sister in law's house, sister in law says to my wife "T was throwing up a few hours ago, but he is better now and will stay up stairs while everyone is here. I disinfected everything too."

My family and my parents were all sick by Saturday afternoon. Bottom line, 18 of the 22 people in attendance got the stomach flu at some point during the next four days.

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Thankfully I am on call this Thanksgiving. Had to send my insane mother a pic of the schedule so she would stop raving that I was making it up. JFC. 

Off for the last week of this year and first of the next. Still not sure what i am going to do. Was thinking Beg Bend but no dogs allowed, so maybe back to PINS or some shit. 

Edited by MissingInAction

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Parents and inlaws getting old (late 80’s) with dementia/Parkinson’s turns my favorite time of the year into the worst. And with the grand kids getting married and doing their own thing and/or moving away or having difficult work schedules just makes the parents even more pissed off about their situation.

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Just got the news that my parents decided to take all of us and our spouses to the Bellmead Luby's for Thanksgiving Lunch.

 

Related image

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Last year's Thanksgiving with the in-laws was a train wreck.  It involved cold food being brought in and a dead puppy.  Good fucking times.  Taking refuge in the Jacksonville Best Western was the highlight of my day.  Never again.

This year.  New house, badass new kitchens (both in and out), our menu, our schedule.  

I made it known to all relevant family and friends as to where I would be this year.  And very specific about where I will NOT be.  When our guest rooms fill up, I will gladly put people up in the myriad of decent hotels down the street.  Any and all are welcome to come.  Or don't.  Don't really care either way.  I'm cooking the same amount of food whether 2 or 20 show up.  

The astute people in my circle are already locking in their RSVPs now.....

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I'm going to my family's place for Christmas with the girlfriend. We haven't celebrated Christmas together since 2015 ever since I moved to Oregon. Last year on Christmas my aunt had a heart attack, and just recently my grandma and Aunt had to go to the hospital for heart attacks. Hopefully they're still alive by the time we get there.

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I love that I get to mix several stiff bourbon and gingers for my cousin (he was like my big brother growing up). He doesn't drink often, but says the bourbon and gingers at our place on thanksgiving are his favorite of the year.  He's a happy drinker, the best, and only acceptable kind.

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Best thread of the year.   FIL has already bought some Weller for me.  It will be needed once my MIL starts complaining about every aspect of life but forgets she hasn't worked in 30 years and vacations a few times a month.  

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3 hours ago, SimonBolivar said:

Just got the news that my parents decided to take all of us and our spouses to the Bellmead Luby's for Thanksgiving Lunch.

 

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You humble bragging sonovabitch

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Good news for me, bad news for you assholes.  My 80+ year old inlaws finally decided to give up driving long distance.  Hot Springs is about 5 hours from me so my house qualifies as "long distance".  There is a high likely hood they will never be at my house again.  So my stories of locking myself outside with cases of beer will cease.  Gone are the days of my wife hiding 50+ bottles of booze and cases of beer before her church of christ parents arrive.  

Edited by chesthair
.

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4 hours ago, SimonBolivar said:

Just got the news that my parents decided to take all of us and our spouses to the Bellmead Luby's for Thanksgiving Lunch.

 

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Guarantee many here will be envious. 

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We are staying on the northeast this year, so no family visit back to Texas for us. I’m super excited, actually, for the peace and quiet. We’ll end up at a friends on Christmas to get hammered and have a merry good time.

Ordered my Greenberg Turkey last week, too. 

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4 hours ago, SimonBolivar said:

Just got the news that my parents decided to take all of us and our spouses to the Bellmead Luby's for Thanksgiving Lunch.

 

Related image

To be fair, that is one of the better Luby's

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Delayed harvest means there's zero expectations that I be anywhere on Thanksgiving, because I'll be working that day (unless it's actively raining or snowing).  In-laws get Christmas Eve, my mom gets Christmas Day, and my dad doesn't give a shit about Christmas so that should work out smooth.

No new drama on the horizon.  My parents are still divorced and hate each other, my BIL still lives at home in his (late) 20's, in-laws still enable his borderline-crippling weed habit (yes, it's actually possible - at least in terms of being a regular adult), and their dog is still a complete fucking cunt. 

The only real development is my nephew turning 4 and starting to figure out the world, and how to push people's buttons.  He's a fairly smart kid, and funnier than hell.  He stresses my brother out endlessly because he's such a little shit, and it's total payback - my brother was absolutely obnoxious at that age as well.  When he wants to sass my SIL (his mom - she's full Japanese), he starts yelling at her in fake racist Japanese gibberish just going "ching chong ching chong" and shit like that.  Of course he isn't quite savvy enough to realize he's dunking on himself, which makes it even funnier.

Love this thread.

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2 hours ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

I love that I get to mix several stiff bourbon and gingers for my cousin (he was like my big brother growing up). He doesn't drink often, but says the bourbon and gingers at our place on thanksgiving are his favorite of the year.  He's a happy drinker, the best, and only acceptable kind.

 

Rye and ginger is better, imo.

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1 hour ago, Al_4_ISU said:

When he wants to sass my SIL (his mom - she's full Japanese), he starts yelling at her in fake racist Japanese gibberish just going "ching chong ching chong" and shit like that.  Of course he isn't quite savvy enough to realize he's dunking on himself, which makes it even funnier.

Holy shit, I'm guessing she doesn't slap him upside his head?

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1 hour ago, The Ace of Aces said:

We are staying on the northeast this year, so no family visit back to Texas for us. I’m super excited, actually, for the peace and quiet. We’ll end up at a friends on Christmas to get hammered and have a merry good time.

please get a designated driver, or you might go to page 20 with some innocent people.

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Holy shit, I'm guessing she doesn't slap him upside his head?

 

She has a PhD in Early Childhood Psychology.

 

Your guess is correct.

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34 minutes ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

Rye and ginger is better, imo.

Well, it's all personal taste of course, and I love an old fashioned with a good rye whiskey, but I also like a Jim Beam, and Northern Neck ginger ale with a twist of lime.  My cousin wouldn't appreciate the difference, and he's happy with my Beam and gingers.  No sense rocking' the boat.

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3 minutes ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

Well, it's all personal taste of course, and I love an old fashioned with a good rye whiskey, but I also like a Jim Beam, and Northern Neck ginger ale with a twist of lime.  My cousin wouldn't appreciate the difference, and he's happy with my Beam and gingers.  No sense rocking' the boat.

So a Moscow Mule, but with Jimmy instead?

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30 minutes ago, workswithseed said:

So a Moscow Mule, but with Jimmy instead?

Kentucky or Texas mule with the brown liquor ?? I'm flexible on that. To be honest it's hard to find a good mule.  Places that do them well really do, but if they're not done well they're just meh.  There's a great little Asian fusion place in Park City, Shabu that does a great one, and the best I've ever had was a place in Lewisberg, WVA.

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1 hour ago, Al_4_ISU said:

 

She has a PhD in Early Childhood Psychology.

 

Your guess is correct.

That is fucking awesome.

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Man, I’d reconsider that if I were you. Chad’s private parts have fallen on some pretty tough times lately. That house can’t be good right now. 

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5 minutes ago, Kennythetiger said:

Man, I’d reconsider that if I were you. Chad’s private parts have fallen on some pretty tough times lately. That house can’t be good right now. 

No shit. There's some things not even Scotchgard can protect against.

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Thanksgiving has been good lately.  Instead of Mrs. ABSR stressing about it, we make some dishes and head over to a good friends house who do Turkey three ways (Roast, Smoked and Deep Fried) and who have plentiful booze and outdoor and indoor accommodations for watching football.  Great friends, food and booze.  

However, we have been told that Mrs. ABSR's mom (undiagnosed Bi-Polar hypochondriac) has taken a turn for the worse and is not only physically frail but has entered mid-stage Alzheimers.  So we get to load up on a plane and fly to Cincinnati for Thanksgiving.

It's the right thing to do and it may be a last visit before she gets too far gone.  Additionally, Mrs. ABSR's dad is a good guy who could probably use some support/family as he deals with this shit.

However a good holiday will now be a chore and expensive.  While they have a 6 bedroom house, she has been a packrat and there are only 3 usable bedrooms (others filled with boxes of shit).  Two of the "available" bedrooms are shrines to the kids that are gone with the same single beds from their youth and Howie Mandel posters and the like on the wall.  Really. The rooms are unchanged from when they left for college. 

So at least we get to stay in a hotel!

And for Thanksgiving we are going to someones house who is Kosher.  Now there are some great Kosher chefs...but 90% of people who keep Kosher suck at cooking.   And likely don't drink much...if at all.  Or watch football.   I am setting my expectations low...well actually I am setting them at likely, but maybe I will be surprised!

Edited by ABSR

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2 hours ago, wd40 said:

please get a designated driver, or you might go to page 20 with some innocent people.

Mrs. Ace doesn’t drink, so I married a built-in DD. 

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11 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

One of my favorite threads.

Indeed 

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48 minutes ago, ABSR said:

Howie Mandel posters and the like on the wall. 

Probably makes it tough to sit down for that Thanksgiving meal 

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lol i might have won this thread last year...

mom spent entire 2018 holiday season (thanksgiving thru new year) in hospital with liver failure.

saturday 12/22, on way to houston to 'celebrate' at mom's house, husband projectile vomited out the car window at 65mph down 290 🤮 bad sign. he was out of commission until Christmas eve. 

Christmas day, he (having survived) came back to austin to take care of animals, i stayed to be with mom. mid-afternoon in hospital i started feeling...not great 🤢

by 6pm Christmas day i was alone at mom's house, she was dying at nearby hospital, i'd started my period, and i was having violent stomach flu attacks every 18 mins for the next 8 hours 🤒🤢🤮😭

thank god a bff was at her sister's place not far away, i finally had to ask for help! 😢

mom died January 3. 

WORST.CHRISTMAS.EVER.

Sugar Bowl was the only bright spot. at least it was really bright. 

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Just now, burntorangebongos said:

The projectile vomiting on the Hwy part made me lol. I guess I'm the bad people your mama warned you about.

She liked at the beginning of her story, so you ain't the only bad bouncing bongos

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i felt really bad for the car following us..."wtf is that a SHRIMP??" haha

it actually was laughably terrible. i laugh about it :) just one of life's moments.

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We’re having an early Thanksgiving as my wife’s sister doesn’t have her kids for Thanksgiving this year, which works out well because her sister’s boyfriend is an ultra right wing QAnon conspiracy theorist.

Christmas will be interesting, however.

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