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elfenix

Trivial things that make you surly

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The Num Lock key.

Yeah. Fuck that thing. Replace it with an “Any” key and it would be less irritating.

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People in front of you in the check out line who, after paying for their stuff, have to spend ten minutes reorganizing their billfold/purse/pockets after spending the previous ten minutes digging through them trying to find 37 cents because they are mortified of the idea of having to put 63 cents in change back into them.

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On 11/24/2019 at 4:10 PM, Walden Ponderer said:

Overheard recent order: garlic cheese-bread, but without the garlic, because "garlic is bad for you."

 Literally the only honest-to-goodness healthy ingredient in that order, and it's the one getting called out.

Lucy made a mistake back there on the Serengeti. Humanity never should have come down from the trees.

Be around me for the next six hours after I eat some and you might agree with them.

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On 11/25/2019 at 9:34 PM, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:


Brother? Shit drives me nuts. Same thing happens with water.
Lemon is for cleaning fish.

 

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12 minutes ago, Patricio Swayze said:

Hearing “put his foot in the ground” for the millionth time in the 2019 season. Stop.

High pointed the ball, when the ball is not even close to the apogee of its arc.

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Getting your feet wet in super cold water.
 



Our cat actually nailed this move the other morning. She knows I’ll get up and feed her even though I’m trying to sleep in. I was watching her sit on the night stand next to me when I wriggled my feet under the comforter.
She went airborne. BOOM.
Nailed the landing.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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Basketball: referring to six consecutive points as a "run", e.g., "a 6-0 run", especially outside of the last couple minutes of a close game.

Six doesn't feel like enough to be called a "run". 

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Basketball: referring to six consecutive points as a "run", e.g., "a 6-0 run", especially outside of the last couple minutes of a close game.
Six doesn't feel like enough to be called a "run". 

Minimum 7+ or a 10+ differential.

14-2 run is a run.

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16 hours ago, SwanderedTalent said:

Basketball: referring to six consecutive points as a "run", e.g., "a 6-0 run", especially outside of the last couple minutes of a close game.

Six doesn't feel like enough to be called a "run". 

"Spurtability"

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I generally agree with the argument that it's sometimes overused (though it doesn't bother me - sometimes it's helpful for when you're not paying super close attention to the game, etc.) but I would suggest that the overall flow of the game itself should determine the shortest length of a run. In some bullshit UVA vs. Drying Paint 34-32 final score rock fight, a 4-0 run is a run. 

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On 11/27/2019 at 12:21 PM, HenryJames said:

The Num Lock key.

I’m assuming you mean the number pad should always be on, otherwise you and I are no longer friends 

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20 hours ago, OrangEngr said:

I’m assuming you mean the number pad should always be on, otherwise you and I are no longer friends 

Username checks out

STEM freak

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I-fuckng-35 fom Ft Worth to Hillsboro.

Who needs Yosemite when you can camp in the left hand lane all day.

I don’t necessarily believe in the death penalty, but these fuckers need a Sidewinder up the tailpipe.

 

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The new design of fast food drive thrus. I can't be the only person to notice that newer fast food drive thrus are designed to lock you in. So if you're behind someone whose vehicle shuts down or the kitchen staff is short a few workers and orders are taking a long time, you're in it for the long haul. We used to drive out to Lubbock for Christmas and we'd always get dinner at McDonalds. Well one time there was a long line and we had to decide whether or not to commit to it or not. I go inside to take a piss and see if I can order. Kill 2 birds with 1 stone. There was only 1 employee there and she said that her coworkers had called in so it was just her. Order was a minimum 2 hour wait. Hell no we drove away. The drive thru was that locked in style so unless you could convince the people in front of you to drive off or the people behind you to back up, you're there for 2 hours.

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^^ i was stuck at a taco bell drive through for an hour back in college (~20 years ago).  if i'd have been in a truck i would have gone over the curb, car probably would have gotten high centered and left a bumper cover. 

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Trivial road design issue that makes me surly: why doesn't the far north end of Lamar extend that last little bit to Howard Lane? There's a southbound connector from Howard/I35 to Lamar, but If you want to take Lamar **northbound** to Howard it forces you to turn back on the southbound 35 service road.

*Unless you can cut through that school campus off the left, which is still not ideal

 

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1 hour ago, elfenix said:

^^ i was stuck at a taco bell drive through for an hour back in college (~20 years ago).  if i'd have been in a truck i would have gone over the curb, car probably would have gotten high centered and left a bumper cover. 

Hello Josh Gordon, guess the username means your career is about to rise from the ashes? I guess the wacky weed made the wait more tolerable. 
https://www.espn.com/college-football/news/story?id=5658519

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Shitty bowl names.

 

Makers Wanted Bahamas Bowl

Tropical Smoothie Cafe Frisco Bowl

Cheribundi Boca Raton Bowl

Cure Bowl

R+L Carriers New Orleans BOwl

Bad Boy Mowers Gasparilla Bowl

San Diego County Credit Union Holiday Bowl

 

what?

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holiday bowl used to be a pretty big deal.  or maybe i just thought that because it seems like we always ended up in san diego.

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2 minutes ago, Buffsoldier said:

I used to laugh my ass off every time I heard the phrase, 'Poulan WeedEater Bowl'.

That was the beginning of the end.

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1 hour ago, elfenix said:

holiday bowl used to be a pretty big deal.  or maybe i just thought that because it seems like we always ended up in san diego.

Wasn't it the Big 12 second place team tie in? Seems like around the early 2000s?

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It was really the third place...Fiesta/BCS was 1, Cotton was 2, Holiday was 3, Alamo quickly rises to 4 in the Big XII, Insight.com was 5 I think.  

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it's december 9th there's a cold front blowing through in about 2 hours and so i don't particularly want to turn on the AC but it's too goddamn warm to sleep. 

Edited by elfenix

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On 12/6/2019 at 5:23 PM, Iceman said:

I-fuckng-35 fom Ft Worth to Hillsboro.

Who needs Yosemite when you can camp in the left hand lane all day.

I don’t necessarily believe in the death penalty, but these fuckers need a Sidewinder up the tailpipe.

I mean, I guess. But I’d suck off a homeless guy to drive that stretch instead of Salado to Austin.

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On 12/8/2019 at 3:09 PM, nnm said:

Hello Josh Gordon, guess the username means your career is about to rise from the ashes? I guess the wacky weed made the wait more tolerable. 
https://www.espn.com/college-football/news/story?id=5658519

That isn’t even the Taco Bell drive thru Big 12 champ.

https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1999-nov-19-sp-35414-story.html

 

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dude at the post office who was trying to figure out how to mail a bomb to antarctica. all i needed was a goddamn label which the clerks jealously guard like mithril.  and this asshole take 15 goddamn minutes to mail a fucking package. 

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I-fuckng-35 fom Ft Worth to Hillsboro.
Who needs Yosemite when you can camp in the left hand lane all day.
I don’t necessarily believe in the death penalty, but these fuckers need a Sidewinder up the tailpipe.
 
Don't you mean from Hillsboro to Fort Worth? Only communists use N to S.

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7 minutes ago, Cody2422 said:

How about assholes on a plane sitting behind you that insist on deboarding before you 

Had a lady do this on one of our legs on one of our trips this summer.  The kicker was she boarded on a wheelchair.  She stood up most of the flight talking to friends of hers and then when the plane stopped she starts weasling her way back to the front of the plane.

Another plane issue... Flew Southwest over a year ago.  We were in the high As so I was hopefuly to get a exit seat.  Any way this elderly couple (high 70s at the youngest) grabs the last available aisle.  The attendant asks them can they handle the duties involved.  The husband nods there is no verbal or physical response from the wife, attendant walks off and the wife asks they husband "What did she say?".  

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23 minutes ago, Cody2422 said:

How about assholes on a plane sitting behind you that insist on deboarding before you 

If that pisses you off, don't fly in China. I sweater god, they start to deboard the plane when the landing gear come down.

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Also bugs me for flights with assigned seats and boarding groups, American Airlines, for instance, why board the front of the plane in the first group?  To make them feel special?  We all leave at the same time, if they boarded the back in group 1, the process would go so much smoother.  I’m flying home today, I’m surly

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52 minutes ago, Cody2422 said:

How about assholes on a plane sitting behind you that insist on deboarding before you 

I will block them out harder than Charles Barkley on the low block.  Next thing they’re gonna do is ‘accidentally ‘ whack you in the head with their bag out of the overhead.

Fuck those people.  You’ll get off when it’s your turn, motherfucker.

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On 12/8/2019 at 1:35 PM, HRSchenker said:

The new design of fast food drive thrus. I can't be the only person to notice that newer fast food drive thrus are designed to lock you in. So if you're behind someone whose vehicle shuts down or the kitchen staff is short a few workers and orders are taking a long time, you're in it for the long haul. We used to drive out to Lubbock for Christmas and we'd always get dinner at McDonalds. Well one time there was a long line and we had to decide whether or not to commit to it or not. I go inside to take a piss and see if I can order. Kill 2 birds with 1 stone. There was only 1 employee there and she said that her coworkers had called in so it was just her. Order was a minimum 2 hour wait. Hell no we drove away. The drive thru was that locked in style so unless you could convince the people in front of you to drive off or the people behind you to back up, you're there for 2 hours.

I'd like to add that the dual lane drive thru has no place in this current society of absolute morons...you get in one of these without an employee giving specific instructions on which vehicle to follow and it's like fucking Thunderdome...McDonalds, fuck me, all I want is a damn coffee not a fucking daily demolition derby initiated by some asshole who wants to cut the line to get his disgusting McGriddle 

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2 hours ago, michaelpshayes said:

I'd like to add that the dual lane drive thru has no place in this current society of absolute morons...you get in one of these without an employee giving specific instructions on which vehicle to follow and it's like fucking Thunderdome...McDonalds, fuck me, all I want is a damn coffee not a fucking daily demolition derby initiated by some asshole who wants to cut the line to get his disgusting McGriddle 

I mean, you could park your car and walk an extra 15 steps to get your coffee and avoid all of it.  But, fuck it.  You do you 

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9 hours ago, Cody2422 said:

Also bugs me for flights with assigned seats and boarding groups, American Airlines, for instance, why board the front of the plane in the first group?  To make them feel special?  We all leave at the same time, if they boarded the back in group 1, the process would go so much smoother.  I’m flying home today, I’m surly

Because the peasants at the back of the plane will take all of the overhead bin space if allowed. 

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Had a lady do this on one of our legs on one of our trips this summer.  The kicker was she boarded on a wheelchair.  She stood up most of the flight talking to friends of hers and then when the plane stopped she starts weasling her way back to the front of the plane.
Another plane issue... Flew Southwest over a year ago.  We were in the high As so I was hopefuly to get a exit seat.  Any way this elderly couple (high 70s at the youngest) grabs the last available aisle.  The attendant asks them can they handle the duties involved.  The husband nods there is no verbal or physical response from the wife, attendant walks off and the wife asks they husband "What did she say?".  

Big pet peeve of mine. Why the FA’s don’t call the olds out to move in an exit row I don’t know.

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It never effing fails.  At a hotel in San Antonio.  Go down for breakfast.  Want coffee.  The coffee portion of the table is at least 10 feet wide.  HOWEVER, fat fuck Bertha has to pour her coffee, add 6 sugars, 4 creams, stir, and put the lid on RIGHT in front of the coffee urn.  I stood there for almost 3 mins today before I could pour my cup.

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Quote

Zappos.com <2012action@zappos.com>

12:40 PM (8 minutes ago)
   

PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO READ THIS EMAIL


Dear elfenix,

You should have received an email in mid-October about a proposed class action settlement, stating that because you were a customer of Zappos in January 2012, you are entitled to receive a 10% discount on your next Zappos purchase.  This discount was part of a settlement reached in the lawsuit filed because of the data breach that occurred in January 2012. 

We wanted to reach out again to remind you that you may use your discount code between now and the end of the year (December 31, 2019 at 11:59 pm pacific time to be exact).  Here are some highlights for using your discount code:

• You may combine it with other promotions, discounts or points that you have on your Zappos account. 
• You can use it on ANY merchandise available on the Zappos app or website, including items that are on sale. 
• Your discount code is good on your entire order, no matter how many items you have in your shopping cart.
• There is no limit to how much you can save on your purchase. 
• Or, if you prefer, you can simply transfer the code to someone else to use. 
 
Once you've selected the items you want to purchase, select “Proceed to Checkout” and you’ll have a chance to enter your code. 

• For Desktop Users: Under “2. Payment Method,” you’ll see a dropdown for “Add gift card or promo code (including a VIP code)”. Simply enter the code there, click “Apply,” and continue checking out.

• For App Users: Select “Gift Codes” in the top right corner, enter your code, select save, and continue checking out.

For additional information regarding the settlement, please visit www.Zapposdatasettlement.com, which is the only official settlement website.  Thank you for your patience and understanding and, as always, we’re here to help. If you need help with placing an order, please don’t hesitate to reach out by contacting us at 2012action@zappos.com or (877) 927-2332.  If you need information about the settlement, please write to:  Zappos Settlement Administrator, P.O. Box 43434, Providence, RI  02940-3434, or telephone 1-855-263-1060. 

We appreciate you,

Your Friends at Zappos

is it illegal to mail a flaming bag of dog shit to the lawyers who "represented" me in this?  10% off coupon that's good for 10 weeks?  fuck you!

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1 hour ago, elfenix said:

is it illegal to mail a flaming bag of dog shit to the lawyers who "represented" me in this?  10% off coupon that's good for 10 weeks?  fuck you!

Here’s another 10% coupon for Zappos. I’d like $50,000 for my representation. Send check to NNM, Esq.  Thanks. 
https://www.retailmenot.com/offer/XP2KFK3EIJFVZJD6C7O7G6N6ZI/

Edited by nnm

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