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Trivial things that make you surly


elfenix

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People who ask questions and end them in no. "Sam Ehlinger is now a senior, no?". "You're a season ticket holder, no?". "Stop signs are red, no?". Am I the only one who says yeah or yes? It doesn't make sense to use no. Nobody talks like that! "Sam Ehlinger is now a senior, wrong?" or "Sam Ehlinger is now a senior, right?". Jesus christ it drives me crazy.

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1 hour ago, HRSchenker said:

People who ask questions and end them in no. "Sam Ehlinger is now a senior, no?". "You're a season ticket holder, no?". "Stop signs are red, no?". Am I the only one who says yeah or yes? It doesn't make sense to use no. Nobody talks like that! "Sam Ehlinger is now a senior, wrong?" or "Sam Ehlinger is now a senior, right?". Jesus christ it drives me crazy.

That really bothers you, doesn't it?

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On 1/31/2020 at 9:59 AM, Iceman said:

My teacher friends complaining about how long and tough January was.

Motherfuckers, you had two weeks off rolling into this bitch.

LOL.  I'm a teacher.  We went back the 6th, had MLK Day off, and had an inservice day.  We only had students for about 15 days this month.

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On 1/26/2020 at 11:57 AM, ImissWallyPryor said:

I like black pepper on just about anything not labeled as a dessert. Most sane people would call it too much pepper. Restaurant shakers usually don’t have holes big enough to let the pepper flow freely, so I have to take the top off like I'm a Neanderthal.

Same goes for crushed red pepper shakers. And yes, I know what all about pepper mills. 

Brother?

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26 minutes ago, cabowabo said:

Charcoal bags. Those fucking pull tabs never work.

pull the thread on the right hand end of the single stitch side... feed sack out front shoulda told ya.

or just stab the bag with your husband's knife.

 

 

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On 2/1/2020 at 11:42 AM, HRSchenker said:

People who ask questions and end them in no. "Sam Ehlinger is now a senior, no?". "You're a season ticket holder, no?". "Stop signs are red, no?". Am I the only one who says yeah or yes? It doesn't make sense to use no. Nobody talks like that! "Sam Ehlinger is now a senior, wrong?" or "Sam Ehlinger is now a senior, right?". Jesus christ it drives me crazy.

So....you mean British people, don't you?  Their questions always end with a negative, dontit?

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1 hour ago, 52-80 said:

95% of hotels where the duvet is so warm that you can't sleep under it unless the room is a frigid 60*.

And there's 12 pillows and they're all mushy bullshit that offer no support at all.

Amen, brother. Just got back from two weeks overseas. 4 different hotels. All with the exact same problem described above. 
And the hotel room thermostats that are bricked, with no functionality. 

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37 minutes ago, Armybrat said:

Not so trivial yesterday was when I got home with my Sweet & Spicy (hold the cheese) burger it was a gottdam mushroom & jalapeño burger... with fookin’ cheese! 😡

Somewhat related I hate it when they ask me if I want cheese on my hamburger. I point out that their menu already distinguishes between the two and I’m not a total regard

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I

2 minutes ago, elfenix said:
On 2/7/2020 at 6:04 AM, Armybrat said:
Not so trivial yesterday was when I got home with my Sweet & Spicy (hold the cheese) burger it was a gottdam mushroom & jalapeño burger... with fookin’ cheese! emoji35.png

Sounds like they upgraded you

I don’t do fungus, and already use Metamucil.

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Fuck all you Memorial area stay at home moms that drag your raggedy ass kids to HEB on Sunday afternoon and make it such a clusterfuck for people who actually have a job and need to go on the weekends. I’m sorry your weekdays are too full with Pilates and Zumba classes to go while your kids are in school or with the nanny. I hope your husband runs off with his 23 year old executive assistant that he’s banging when he stays late at the office and I hope that all your little blonde daughters catch an STD and get pregnant before they’re 16. I hope all that makes you so miserable that you can only find solace in ice cream and Big Macs and blimp up to 200lbs and are too embarrassed to put on yoga pants and fuck up my HEB anymore.

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1 minute ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Fuck all you Memorial area stay at home moms that drag your raggedy ass kids to HEB on Sunday afternoon and make it such a clusterfuck for people who actually have a job and need to go on the weekends. I’m sorry your weekdays are too full with Pilates and Zumba classes to go while your kids are in school or with the nanny. I hope your husband runs off with his 23 year old executive assistant that he’s banging when he stays late at the office and I hope that all your little blonde daughters catch an STD and get pregnant before they’re 16. I hope all that makes you so miserable that you can only find solace in ice cream and Big Macs and blimp up to 200lbs and are too embarrassed to put on yoga pants and fuck up my HEB anymore.

Sounds like somebody has a case of the Sundays....  Sad panda....

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Took me fucking 2 hours to go to the Bunker Hill HEB today.  And fuck you bitch, if you don’t want me staring at your ass quit going to Pilates and Zumba classes and wearing yoga pants to HEB.  Also, fuck you because in 10 years I’ll probably be putting one dollar bills in your daughter’s G string.

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1 hour ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Took me fucking 2 hours to go to the Bunker Hill HEB today.  And fuck you bitch, if you don’t want me staring at your ass quit going to Pilates and Zumba classes and wearing yoga pants to HEB.  Also, fuck you because in 10 years I’ll probably be putting one dollar bills in your daughter’s G string.

And then marry her

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Had to stop by Walmart on the way home because I was literally out of food and drink. Had $40-50 worth of groceries, but since it was after 10pm they only had 1 cashier open (fuck using self checkout). The young 20something couple in front of me had scratchoffs. Mind you they didn't know if they winning tickets, but let's check just for the fuckall of it. Cashier Edna (*I'm going to call her Edna because she looked like an Edna) has no idea wtf to do and calls for a supervisor. Clock is running, my frozen shit is on the belt thawing out. 5 minutes go by before a supervisor Gladys comes to "help" (and I use that term loosely). They scan the ticket, the machine beeps, they get a puzzled look on their face. Reset the register and try again. Lather, rinse, repeat. 10 minutes go by. Scan, beep, confused, ad nauseam.

Here I am, a customer wanting to give them money and I'm waiting while they try to figure out if they have to give somebody that ain't buying shit, lottery money. On a side note rant, why the fuck does anyone go to Walmart to cash in a scratch off? There are 5 convenience stores within walking distance.

I finally said fuck it and walked away. Let them worry about putting my groceries back after they figure out if that was a winning ticket or not.

Stopped at Allsups, bought a burrito and a 12 pack of Coke. I'll survive.

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Self check out saves time, as long as one is open; i.e. the idiot lottery fucks aren't ahead of you in that line too.

 

Doesn't make me surly, but I have no idea what so many people's hang-up is with the self check out.  You get your stuff in the bag you want, bread's not mashed, product's not fucked up as they try to straighten out the upc barcode, and you don't have to fake conversation with somebody about whom you give no fucks...

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I’ll start doing self checkout when the store starts paying me minimum wage for the time I spend doing it. First they took our full serve gas stations and we did nothing, now they’re taking our incompetent minimum wage checkers and we are doing nothing. What’s next, they take our valet parking attendants and make us park our own cars?

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4 minutes ago, RPM said:

Self checkout is automation taking human jobs.

 

Just like ATMs and masturbation, right?  How many people do you know who have applied for a job at a grocery store/ WM and gotten turned down, who are otherwise viable candidates?

They are hiring like a motherfucker...and have been, even since the advent of the self-checkout.  For one, the curbside motherfuckers are all through the stores picking people's shopping lists for them... but let's focus on self check-out because it's so fucking scary.

 

LOLZ>  

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10 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Just ring up your organic broccoli as regular broccoli. 

Yeah, are we not supposed to be doing that?  Because I do that.  Only time they come over to check on things is when you're buying wine/beer.  

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3 hours ago, Iceman said:

For one, the curbside motherfuckers are all through the stores picking people's shopping lists for them... but let's focus on self check-out because it's so fucking scary.

Those store pickers push their carts through the store like madmen running over the real shoppers and further clogging up our store.  I hope all you fuckers that are too lazy to do your own shopping enjoy the meat the picker selected that has an expiration date of tomorrow and all your half wilted produce that the store needs to get rid of.  I can't wait for the apocalypse to get here.  I'll be enjoying my attic full of freeze dried emergency food buckets with a shelf life of 25 years while you fuckers are starving to death because you can't call HEB to deliver your food.

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