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elfenix

Trivial things that make you surly

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12 hours ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

What about zoom lap dances ???

So that file tab on my zoom app that says, "Champagne Room"...that thing is real?  

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35 minutes ago, Lobo said:

So that file tab on my zoom app that says, "Champagne Room"...that thing is real?  

Yes, but there's no sex there.

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I don't know about you man, but the zoom calls I'm on lately are getting pretty spicey.  

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5 hours ago, PilotsError said:

This is some pathetic bullshit, Taco Cabana.815a65eccc992811e3f424c2e61e9750.jpg

taco c has really gone downhill in the last decade.  pretty sad. 

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On 5/3/2020 at 5:19 AM, 52-80 said:

Draconian password restrictions.  Holy fuck i thought UT EID was the worst, this one is deloitte:

 

In order to ensure the privacy of your data we require your new password meet the following requirements:

  • Passwords must be at least 10 characters in length.
  • You cannot reuse your last 24 passwords.
  • Passwords must contain characters from at least three of the following four classes:
    1. English uppercase letters: A, B, C...Z
    2. English lowercase letters: a, b, c...z
    3. Westernized Arabic numerals: 0, 1, 2...9
    4. Nonalphanumeric (special characters): !, @, #, %, &, *, etc.
  • Passwords should not contain:
    1. Your username
    2. Your first and/or last name
    3. Dictionary words with or without (i) numbers or special characters at the beginning or end, or (ii) letters, numbers, or character exchanges (e.g., Summer2017, ?Happyman, H3llofr!end?)
    4. Words or numbers connected with you such as family names, pet names, birthdays, addresses, or phone numbers
    5. Common terminology, acronyms, or names associated with the Deloitte Firms or their clients
    6. Any sequencing of letters and numbers that follow the order of a keyboard (i.e., keyboard walk patterns such as 1234qwerASDF, 1qazXSW@3edc

I'm not sure this one counts as trivial.  Wait until the next time you have to change your password on Best Buy's website.  It required more complication than any other website I've ever used up to and including all my banks, (USAA, Citi) retirement accounts (Schwab, Fidelity), and post tax investment holdings (ETrade).  So, compared to every dollar to my name, my Best Buy account is (theoretically) more secure even though the rewards balance value varies pretty reliably between 4 and 11 dollars.

I've had two security breaches in the last handful of years across my entire life...my Best Buy account ordered an iPad Pro for shipping to Maryland and I had a credit card number compromised by guess who*?

There is a 0% chance I can actually buy something at Best Buy right now without going through the lost password routine and generating another one that meets all their rules that I similarly won't remember.  If Circuit City still existed, this would cause me to change my buying behavior entirely.

*I can't actually prove Best Buy was at fault, but the story is a lot better if they were.

 

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On 11/22/2019 at 10:39 AM, HiggyBaby said:

When people say “potato, potato” in American and the Queen’s English. They say it the same dammit. Try tomato, tomato instead. That one actually works. And references the actual song it came from.

 

you say tomato, I say mater

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On 5/15/2020 at 1:42 PM, VolenteHawk said:

I'm not sure this one counts as trivial.  Wait until the next time you have to change your password on Best Buy's website.  It required more complication than any other website I've ever used up to and including all my banks, (USAA, Citi) retirement accounts (Schwab, Fidelity), and post tax investment holdings (ETrade).  So, compared to every dollar to my name, my Best Buy account is (theoretically) more secure even though the rewards balance value varies pretty reliably between 4 and 11 dollars.

I've had two security breaches in the last handful of years across my entire life...my Best Buy account ordered an iPad Pro for shipping to Maryland and I had a credit card number compromised by guess who*?

There is a 0% chance I can actually buy something at Best Buy right now without going through the lost password routine and generating another one that meets all their rules that I similarly won't remember.  If Circuit City still existed, this would cause me to change my buying behavior entirely.

*I can't actually prove Best Buy was at fault, but the story is a lot better if they were.

 

I hate Best Buy as much as the next guy, and I don't disagree that this is a fucking beating to deal with, but it seems like a real "chicken and the egg" situation to me. 

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People who refer to themselves as mommy or daddy to their pets, even if it is post coital
I thought this was a no kink shaming zone

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adults "rocking" things and referring to everything as a "daily driver"

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How are they using "Daily Driver" out of morbid curiosity?  Referring to cars, golf clubs, ?  

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This is some pathetic bullshit, Taco Cabana.815a65eccc992811e3f424c2e61e9750.jpg


TC breakfast tacos are horrible. I can’t think of a worse fast food breakfast item that I’ve ever ordered.

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Synergies.

Best practices.

Deep dives.

Thirty thousand foot views.

Officing.

Safe spaces.

The ask is that you...

Loop him in...

Run it up the flagpole...

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Posted (edited)
7 hours ago, TexArcher said:

Synergies.

Best practices.

Deep dives.

Thirty thousand foot views.

Officing.

Safe spaces.

The ask is that you...

Loop him in...

Run it up the flagpole...

Lean in.

I still don't know where the fuck that stupid expression came from, but they love the fuck out of it.

Edited by Iceman

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21 hours ago, 52-80 said:

adults "rocking" things and referring to everything as a "daily driver"

I use daily driver to describe my old car.  It's  a pretty prevalent term among car collectors.  It makes you surly from over use ?

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Lean in.
I still don't know where the fuck that stupid expression came from, but they love the fuck out of it.

And “in this space.” Hate that term.

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I just got done with an office space/CRE webinar because we're putting something interesting in here in Austin in the next few years.  

And I thought "coworking space" or "flexspace" was overused.  Holy shit.  If I had a dollar for each time these guys just said, "A sense of place", I'd have my own building.  WTF?

I can sorta tolerate it from an architect or urban planner but from straight up white CRE douchebags...don't say, "Sense of place".  You're talking about bailing out your shitty strip centers, you're not "reinventing a sense of place."  You fucked up, you doubled down on mini-blind shoppes and Quizno's...you're not inventing anything except your balance sheet.  

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6 minutes ago, Lobo said:

I just got done with an office space/CRE webinar because we're putting something interesting in here in Austin in the next few years.  

And I thought "coworking space" or "flexspace" was overused.  Holy shit.  If I had a dollar for each time these guys just said, "A sense of place", I'd have my own building.  WTF?

I can sorta tolerate it from an architect or urban planner but from straight up white CRE douchebags...don't say, "Sense of place".  You're talking about bailing out your shitty strip centers, you're not "reinventing a sense of place."  You fucked up, you doubled down on mini-blind shoppes and Quizno's...you're not inventing anything except your balance sheet.  

Chill man. They are just trying to move the needle for their enterprise where there's low hanging fruit. Obviously it's mission critical for their results driven, core competency which needed a paradigm shift/rightsizing. Being customer-centric they were early adopters to this new-normal ecosystem and establishing bandwidth in this whitespace.

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People who start out conversation with or reply "I mean...." sound very dumb

This can happen in person or on social media. Having given no prior statement as to what they may be clarifying. They are just starting out with "I mean". There is no clarification needed if that's your statement.

I mean, I'm a dumbass who starts sentences\statements in social media, public, workplace and I sound like a dumbass.

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10 hours ago, Lobo said:

I just got done with an office space/CRE webinar because we're putting something interesting in here in Austin in the next few years.  

And I thought "coworking space" or "flexspace" was overused.  Holy shit.  If I had a dollar for each time these guys just said, "A sense of place", I'd have my own building.  WTF?

I can sorta tolerate it from an architect or urban planner but from straight up white CRE douchebags...don't say, "Sense of place".  You're talking about bailing out your shitty strip centers, you're not "reinventing a sense of place."  You fucked up, you doubled down on mini-blind shoppes and Quizno's...you're not inventing anything except your balance sheet.  

+rep for "shoppes."

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7 hours ago, Bash Riprock said:

People who start out conversation with or reply "I mean...." sound very dumb

This can happen in person or on social media. Having given no prior statement as to what they may be clarifying. They are just starting out with "I mean". There is no clarification needed if that's your statement.

I mean, I'm a dumbass who starts sentences\statements in social media, public, workplace and I sound like a dumbass.

Let me be honest...

Wait. You've been lying to me up until now?

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My wife sometime installs a roll of toilet paper with the paper hangin out the bottom instead of it looping around the top of the roll. 

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33 minutes ago, cabowabo said:

My wife sometime installs a roll of toilet paper with the paper hangin out the bottom instead of it looping around the top of the roll. 

That means her boyfriend (or girlfriend) has a mullet. 

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On 5/20/2020 at 11:35 PM, Bash Riprock said:

People who start out conversation with or reply "I mean...." sound very dumb

This can happen in person or on social media. Having given no prior statement as to what they may be clarifying. They are just starting out with "I mean". There is no clarification needed if that's your statement.

I mean, I'm a dumbass who starts sentences\statements in social media, public, workplace and I sound like a dumbass.

i mean, fuck you.

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Posters who don't have avatars, so only have a generic letter by their handle. Go to the can you help me or board discussion for some help, lame asses. This is mostly directed at Chooky. Come one, man!

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On 5/18/2020 at 10:46 PM, TexArcher said:

Synergies.

Best practices.

Deep dives.

Thirty thousand foot views.

Officing.

Safe spaces.

The ask is that you...

Loop him in...

Run it up the flagpole...

Wow I don’t miss corporate America and I think it has only gotten worse since I left in 2011.  And, sorry to the above poster for not having an avatar.  Can you reach out to hank hill for some new material and I will update with that.  Thanks in advance.  

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On 5/18/2020 at 11:46 PM, TexArcher said:

Synergies.

Best practices.

Deep dives.

Thirty thousand foot views.

Officing.

Safe spaces.

The ask is that you...

Loop him in...

Run it up the flagpole...

“The ask”, Jesus Fuck. When hell did “ask” become a goddamn noun?

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12 hours ago, Ignatius said:

“The ask”, Jesus Fuck. When hell did “ask” become a goddamn noun?

Yep, “my three asks” phrase is irritating. 

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5 hours ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

Yep, “my three asks” phrase is irritating. 

Are you a genie?

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Posted (edited)

I was looking forward to drinking this new CBD seltzer I found at the liquor store.  

Some research at home then revealed that in fact, I would not be getting stoned by drinking said seltzer.  I am enraged by this.  Well, maybe that's a bit strong of a word.  I am surly.

Edited by Bullneck

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18 minutes ago, Bullneck said:

I was looking forward to drinking this new CBD seltzer I found at the liquor store.  

Some research at home then revealed that in fact, I would not be getting stoned by drinking said seltzer.  I am enraged by this.  Well, maybe that's a bit strong of a word.  I am surly.

lulz

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1 minute ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Did you really think they had suddenly started selling pot in every strip shopping center in Texas

Well, if ya know who to ask it's for sale in every strip mall in America.

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7 hours ago, NorthLoop said:

"Action item" 

Fucking hate that term. Just say you're gonna do it.

How about "I got this" ?

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38 minutes ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

How about "I got this" ?

Covid speak?

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vague titles and subjects be it in email or bulletin board or other

 

"quick question"

"i need to ask you something"

"something for discussion"

 

dont be meta about it.  use the subject field as it was intended - to represent the goddamn subject.  i wish i can punch people who do this

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On 5/24/2020 at 6:19 AM, Onboard 2.0 said:

How about "I got this" ?

Depends. Are we both chasing a fly ball in the gap?

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People who throw their dog poo bags away in my trash can after it is left open on the street on trash days. 

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18 hours ago, Biff Tannen said:

People who throw their dog poo bags away in my trash can after it is left open on the street on trash days. 

Personally, I don’t toss dog poop bags into strangers’ trash bins, but this is an interesting social norm. I’ve had this discussion with several of my friends. Is it really taboo to toss a dog poop bag, or a stray plastic bottle, or anything else, into a neighbor’s curbside trash bin?  I say yes on the dog poop bags, but my 80+ yo parents have no problem with it in their neighborhood. 
I run almost every day, and I frequently pick up the stray plastic bottle or construction nail that I find on the street. If I find an open bin before I get home, you’d better believe I’m putting the stray trash in there rather than continuing to carry it. I think that’s fine, but have not put dog poop bags in because no one wants extra stink in their bin, especially when it’ll be another week before it gets picked up. 

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Just now, nnm said:

Is it really taboo to toss a dog poop bag, or a stray plastic bottle, or anything else, into a neighbor’s curbside trash bin?

Are you paying my garbage fees? Then keep your shit outta my shit.

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