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Goredho

covid-19 mental health

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Take time for yourself.  Be it exercising by yourself, or walking the dog, a nap, whatever. It seems like many people are overloaded with family contact, working too much because the computer is right there, etc. 

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Stop obsessively reading the news...pick up a book that I would read on vacation 

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Lately -- it's been almost all anxiety and virus-related dreams.


I’ve had several dreams lately where I’m at a grocery store and there are swarms of people in masks fighting over things. It’s getting annoying.

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I’ve installed a new ceiling fan (another one lined up for Saturday), painted the side of the house, dug a trench and installed 60’ of pipe to fix a drainage problem...

I may be getting to the end of the home projects. Normally by now baseball and college basketball take up all my spare time.

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Not sleeping well but enjoying the new, long bike rides with my HS senior daughter.

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2 hours ago, LABEVO said:

Stop obsessively reading the news...pick up a book that I would read on vacation 

This. I’m not reading the news or watching the news or any shows virus/pandemic related. I’m filling the void with historical dramas or miniseries. 

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Got a kick ass night’s sleep last night with some Mary Jane.  Used edibles to not compromise my lungs.  I tend to do this a couple times a week anyway, but that may have to become more frequent.

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14 hours ago, BrazilHorn said:

My 13 yo was fucking with my 10 yo Ipad so my 10 yo changed the password and now of course has forgotten it. Can't get stupid thing to trigger factory reset. So my mental health getting ready to be impacted if I have to listen to more crying over this fucking device.

Dude.  Just leave the house now and don't look back.  There is no other way out of this.

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My son is home from UTSA and he had kept is job at HEB here on some weekends the whole time so he's still working now. I've been pretty good through this but now the wife is starting to freak out about the son working there.  I mean his grades are shit, and all I hear him doing in his room is playing video games, and he's got no money while still needing to pay rent for the apartment he doesn't live in.  Seems he should work every day, but not sure how to address the wife's concern that his working adds risk to our household getting sick.  There is added risk, but I don't know how much.  And there's something strange about asking to go on leave when so many others are losing jobs.  Long story short...the wife stressing the fuck out is going to stress me out!

 

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In my experience, you just take the loss pussy when there is a disagreement with a mama bear over her cub.  If you “win”, you will wish you hadn’t.

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Brisket, KE and I did a virtual happy hour on Zoom last night. I figured we might talk for 45 minutes or so, but we were closing in on 2 hrs when I had to drop to go pick up our Chuy's curbside. It's amazing how much it improved my mood just being able to see and bullshit with friends. I'm on zoom video meetings all day every day, but it  was much more relaxing with friends. 

Anyway, hope you guys are all hanging in there, and if you have an option to do a virtual HH with friends, do it. 

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Cool, glad they were able to be your Wilson and vice versa.   Curious, how much of that two hours was spent talking about covid-19 vs other subjects?

My wife and I started discussing a vacation when all this shit has passed.  Something epic, so we haven’t settled on anything.  The idea being this gives us something to look forward to and talk about other than the coronavirus.

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We really didn't talk about covid much at all, aside from talking about our grocery store "scores". We talked about work stuff at a high level (being super busy despite WFH), stuff we've cooked, or were planning to cook, stuff our kids were up to...just bullshitted mostly. 

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Two attorneys, two toddlers 4 or younger. We're going on 3+weeks without a break from the kiddo madness or quiet enough to get substantial workday in. I don't know how we're going to do it, other than we have to.

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On 4/3/2020 at 5:58 AM, Goredho said:

Got a kick ass night’s sleep last night with some Mary Jane.  Used edibles to not compromise my lungs.  I tend to do this a couple times a week anyway, but that may have to become more frequent.

Did that on Thursday, then d&d yesterday. It was a good time.

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Posted (edited)

So good to see this thread.  Surly does come together at times and help instead of bicker. Good lord, I was starting to write a book here, so deleted all that.  Worried about closing on a house with an impending economic collapse (put this a few times in the real estate thread where they graciously put up with me).  Worried for my kids who I moved to a new town who now cannot make/continue to make friends in school.  Wife's job has shut down which we had planned for economically, but not with the idea that she was going to have be the one full time in charge of their education and their entire days.  The random bickering out of nowhere is wild and I can't drown it out in my home office during calls. 

Sometimes though, in the very same day there are good times and emotions and things that we all enjoy.  I turned 50 (good lord) the other day, and the family was amazing to me and each other that whole day.  I will never forget it.  I'm learning to 'longboard' which while I'm doing it keeps my mind off of everything (other than constant lookout for anyone getting too close).  Son and I are going through all the Marvel movies on Disney + in order (he had not seen them yet as he wasn't old enough).  I'm trying to do more pushups/pullups/e.tc.  Oh, and legal weed.  Praise be for legal weed.  Don't dox me, bro.

Edited by MC Fresh Breath

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Brisket, KE and I did a virtual happy hour on Zoom last night. I figured we might talk for 45 minutes or so, but we were closing in on 2 hrs when I had to drop to go pick up our Chuy's curbside. It's amazing how much it improved my mood just being able to see and bullshit with friends. I'm on zoom video meetings all day every day, but it  was much more relaxing with friends. 
Anyway, hope you guys are all hanging in there, and if you have an option to do a virtual HH with friends, do it. 

I’m actually kinda floored at how much that HH did for my mental health. Seriously, I highly recommend.
I think we have some instinct AGAINST that sort of thing - think about it, guys don’t talk on the phone with each other for two hours. Our wives might, but we don’t. It’s not how we roll.
But in these times, the video HH...it’s good stuff. Made me really want to go fishing, though.

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On 4/2/2020 at 4:45 PM, Spankytoes said:

Started playing online poker with a group of friends. We settle up with Venmo. We’ve had a text stream of about 14 guys for a few years. Good to keep in touch.

What site did you use? We had a group of 8 or 9 of us that tried this last night and had a hell of a time finding a good technology to use.

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I just found out a close family friend who was also my HS principal just died from CoV in Fort Worth.  He was a good guy.  Probably one of the last old school administrators that kept a ventilated paddle full of signatures from 30 years of licks on his desk.  It’s hitting me a bit harder than it would have without it being covid-19, not sure why.  I guess because it’s probably the start of a series of untimely deaths for people that we’re prominent figures at some time in my life.  Hello, cannabis, my old friend...

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Been getting together with buddies for cards weekly with a google hangout included. So damn great.

Try this site, it allows you to play free hand just like regular deck of cards, we play some wildass drop/guts games and bourre. Servers have been slammed of late but it works perfectly.


http://playingcards.io

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On 4/2/2020 at 6:59 PM, MNLonghornFUKM said:

Moved our kids bedtime up an hr. To 8pm, that’s our goal to make it to that time. This is tough with a 4 and an out of control 1 year old. Couldn’t imagine being a single parent

It snowed and shit ice today, so we’d normally go for a drive around town around 2 to break up the day and get a nap in for 1 yr old.

Imagine what it'd be like right now had the melt come fast and we were all sandbagging right now.  You'd hafta completely scrap social distancing and just hope.  I'd been worrying about that since mid-Feb.  We missed that one, thankfully.

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On 4/2/2020 at 5:51 PM, BrazilHorn said:

My 13 yo was fucking with my 10 yo Ipad so my 10 yo changed the password and now of course has forgotten it. Can't get stupid thing to trigger factory reset. So my mental health getting ready to be impacted if I have to listen to more crying over this fucking device.

Burn it. I find that fire solves many of life's problems.

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Posted (edited)
On 4/2/2020 at 4:45 PM, Spankytoes said:

Started playing online poker with a group of friends. We settle up with Venmo. We’ve had a text stream of about 14 guys for a few years. Good to keep in touch.

What websites offer the ability to host a private table without real funds?  Nvm.  Answered.

Edited by Nice Guy Eddie

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What websites offer the ability to host a private table without real funds?  Nvm.  Answered.


Do tell

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Magnesium helps with sleeping. So does not drinking too much (easier said than done).

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I just found out a close family friend who was also my HS principal just died from CoV in Fort Worth.  He was a good guy.  Probably one of the last old school administrators that kept a ventilated paddle full of signatures from 30 years of licks on his desk.  It’s hitting me a bit harder than it would have without it being covid-19, not sure why.  I guess because it’s probably the start of a series of untimely deaths for people that we’re prominent figures at some time in my life.  Hello, cannabis, my old friend...

Sorry for your loss.

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My problem (or perspective?) is that I'm a lot angrier. I still have to go to work every day and it allows me to think about shit. I'm angry at the people in my office that get to work from home. I'm angry at celebrities who talk all kinds of shit about "stay at home!" when then can't comprehend that some people actually have to go the fuck to work and can't isolate themselves in a multi-million dollar home. I'm angry at douchebags that talk about how they're "ON LOCKDOWN" or "OMG I"M QUARANTINED". Motherfucker, you still go to the store, gas up your car, hit the drivethru and take walks around the block. That's not quarantine, asshole. You just can't go to the mall. I know a few people that have already lost their jobs because of this and that's another shitty thing that bothers me.

I try to look at the positives: I don't know anyone who's caught the virus, nor do I know anyone who's died from it. My family is healthy. My job is secure. I just hope that, if this shit continues, I can find an emotional balance.

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I have enjoyed people staying the fuck away from me...


True. Who would have ever thought that “Get the fuck away from me!” would become a valid public service announcement?

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yeah, the weather up here in the Top O Texas was spectacular yesterday with high of 62, calm winds, and sunshine.  I lost an uncle to liver cancer last year,  and while I was mowing & doing yard work, the moment just struck me- this is a day Charles would have loved...to have played 36 holes.

Times like these tend to make me more contemplative and sentimental about the good memories in life.

It's what gets me through...

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The weather was great today, so I took the wife out for a spin in my old Miata. We live right off of Route 66 in OK, so we always cruise west when the weather cooperates. Man, it really cleared out the mental cobwebs. I felt great after we made it back into town, didn't even take an hour to make a big change in my attitude. I need to do this more often.

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I started jogging 5k's again to destress and lose some weight. I'm naming my runs Corona Run 1, 2 3 .. I'm on 6. Going to see how high I can get and how much weight I can lose while we're all home. The main thing still stressing me is my graduate school research paper is still due in 3 weeks and I haven't started. It requires an oral presentation to the rest of the class over the web. Don't want to sound like a dumbass. Little time to prepare. 

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something about sundays...the past two have been really bad for me. 

so today i took a leisurely 28.5 mile drive around Austin...2222 to 360, southbound over Pennybacker, back north across Town Lake, exited Enfield then up through downtown, past campus back north... 

i didn't stop anywhere and i didn't touch nothing. i cried more than once. 

i needed to see my city. it was still beautiful. 

i did marvel that i was able to drive on Guadalupe from MLK to the Triangle without stopping for traffic once. i actually set cruise control. incredible. 

anybody know of really scenic bluebonnet/wildflower fields near Austin? i'm thinking if weather permits i'd like to see some of those this week, i think it will help me. i don't need to be able to stop, just see them...

this is getting tougher. but we're blessed, even with a torn up house. 

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Took a long drive as well yesterday:

https://www.blm.gov/visit/lower-crooked-river-back-country-byway

Stopped along the way to just roam a little bit with nobody near.  At one on the drive saw a black bear in the distance.  Not a good enough range to get good pics--could basically see the outline and movement, but wow that's not something you see every day.   Once we hit the part where the river is visible saw plenty of fly fishermen (all of whom seemed to be maintaining safe social distancing).  Drive turned incredible beautiful for quite a few miles.  Plenty of future camping spots once (if/when) this is all over.  

That was a good one for morale.  Just being out for a while and seeing some epic nature.  

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9 hours ago, mchookem said:

 

anybody know of really scenic bluebonnet/wildflower fields near Austin? i'm thinking if weather permits i'd like to see some of those this week, i think it will help me. i don't need to be able to stop, just see them...

 

eastern Williamson Co.....head north from Manor just take any county road...all the way up to Walburg then cut over to Granger and head back south to Elgin again trying to stay on county roads for best bluebonnet effect

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I've always had good luck on the road between Llano and Burnet, hwy 29. They must have seeded the shit out that hwy because it is lousy with pretty flowers.

Also RR 1323 near Frederickburg. It's called Willow City and it was on the day tripper. It is supposed to be pretty but you need to hurry up for the bluebonnets, they are waning. 

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Gah,

Days are running together WFH sucks and it's like I don't know when the day starts or ends.  Need to develop better discipline to compartmentalize it when sitting in the same chair for work and home stuff does not work. 

I miss spicy foods (My wife is so bland on food)

Going out for a bike ride.

 

 

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Buy Tabasco and Julio's serrano salsa( in refrigerated section of HEB where they keep the cold salsas) Add to everything. Also, those red pepper flakes for pizzas will add bite too. Trust me, it works to spice up bland food.  

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Posted (edited)

Dealing with some family issues.  I’m mentally drained from this and not sleeping well.

My son is with me much more which is nice.  Me and the ex have a pretty good schedule going right now, since we both still have to go into the office.

Days are running into each other like crazy.

Cooking a ton, which I love.  Spending more at the store than I would at Happy Hour.

Honestly thinking of all the things I can sell; purge and be completely debt free.

Bought a Jeep. WTF

And about 3 days a week, this keeps me sane.

90288644_3177169128969720_14158848329693

Edited by Rip76

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I’m a little surprised that I haven’t gone off the deep end...yet. We have 3 young daughters including a colicky 3-month old infant, a3-year old daughter fighting for attention, and homeschooling the 6-year old who can’t focus and having emotional meltdowns herself.

Wife’s company had to lay off most of their employees and the executive team is essentially working for free. She’s transitioning out of maternity leave into working for free. Of course she’s been emotional and needy plus one of her best friends(and fiancée) in NY both tested positive for COVID 19.

I’ve been super busy at work and as a more experienced employee, have more on my plate. I’m the only one with more than 1 young child as well. Most have older or no children but I’m depended on more including training my direct supervisor who has less experience.

I do most of the cooking and washing clothes and just don’t have time in the day to work out. Im the one who picks up groceries or any other errands. I’m worn out but not to the point if breaking down, surprisingly. Wife takes most care of the infant, homeschools the 6-year old, and prepares kids’ food mostly. The infant has been very draining.

We all just need to try our best to keep positive and like another poster said, stay away from the news and media. Even social media(except for the memes). We’re lucky to be physically healthy and financially stable unlike many.

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On 4/3/2020 at 7:58 AM, Goredho said:

Got a kick ass night’s sleep last night with some Mary Jane.  Used edibles to not compromise my lungs.  I tend to do this a couple times a week anyway, but that may have to become more frequent.

God I want to try that so bad to get a solid nights sleep I could scream.

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On 4/5/2020 at 11:13 PM, mchookem said:

something about sundays...the past two have been really bad for me. 

so today i took a leisurely 28.5 mile drive around Austin...2222 to 360, southbound over Pennybacker, back north across Town Lake, exited Enfield then up through downtown, past campus back north... 

i didn't stop anywhere and i didn't touch nothing. i cried more than once. 

i needed to see my city. it was still beautiful. 

i did marvel that i was able to drive on Guadalupe from MLK to the Triangle without stopping for traffic once. i actually set cruise control. incredible. 

anybody know of really scenic bluebonnet/wildflower fields near Austin? i'm thinking if weather permits i'd like to see some of those this week, i think it will help me. i don't need to be able to stop, just see them...

this is getting tougher. but we're blessed, even with a torn up house. 

I took a drive to Balcones Canyonlands via 1431 not too long ago. There was a really thick patch of Indian Paintbrushes right at the entrance to the NWR, but in general, that's just a really nice drive. I didn't keep going to Marble Falls but I imagine that's not a bad way to spend a few hours with the weather we've been having.

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Posted (edited)
On 4/5/2020 at 6:02 AM, Buzzrock said:

Magnesium helps with sleeping. So does not drinking too much (easier said than done).

True, it's just hell on the waking up part.....Sheeeeeiiiiiit.

 

Edit,

Fuck early morning reading comprehension with a hangover...good night y'all....

Edited by SHOOTER12

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Yeah, sleep cycle ain't great.  Some nights it works okay, others, not so much.  So many anxiety dreams as well.  Lots to worry about -- long-term economic prospects for folks in general, for my business, for my family.  Health concerns for my parents and other vulnerable folks.  And the expected mental pressures of the moment -- cabin fever, loneliness, missing routines, etc.

There's a place I know of where the trailhead is open, and its about a 1.5 mile hike to some fishable water.  Dewberries grow out there, too.  May load the family up on Sunday and go for a hike, some fishing, and hope to find some cobbler fixings.  It's some sort of healthy distraction.  Sigh.

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Just got a big promotion at work and took time off to go fishing with my family at a friend's dock.  I'm very excited for the new job it is a better fit for me and good raise.  That will raise the spirits. 

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Quote

...

When we’re feeling grief there’s that physical pain. And the racing mind. Are there techniques to deal with that to make it less intense?

 

Let’s go back to anticipatory grief. Unhealthy anticipatory grief is really anxiety, and that’s the feeling you’re talking about. Our mind begins to show us images. My parents getting sick. We see the worst scenarios. That’s our minds being protective. Our goal is not to ignore those images or to try to make them go away — your mind won’t let you do that and it can be painful to try and force it. The goal is to find balance in the things you’re thinking. If you feel the worst image taking shape, make yourself think of the best image. We all get a little sick and the world continues. Not everyone I love dies. Maybe no one does because we’re all taking the right steps. Neither scenario should be ignored but neither should dominate either.

Anticipatory grief is the mind going to the future and imagining the worst. To calm yourself, you want to come into the present. This will be familiar advice to anyone who has meditated or practiced mindfulness but people are always surprised at how prosaic this can be. You can name five things in the room. There’s a computer, a chair, a picture of the dog, an old rug, and a coffee mug. It’s that simple. Breathe. Realize that in the present moment, nothing you’ve anticipated has happened. In this moment, you’re okay. You have food. You are not sick. Use your senses and think about what they feel. The desk is hard. The blanket is soft. I can feel the breath coming into my nose. This really will work to dampen some of that pain.

You can also think about how to let go of what you can’t control. What your neighbor is doing is out of your control. What is in your control is staying six feet away from them and washing your hands. Focus on that.

Finally, it’s a good time to stock up on compassion. Everyone will have different levels of fear and grief and it manifests in different ways. A coworker got very snippy with me the other day and I thought, That’s not like this person; that’s how they’re dealing with this. I’m seeing their fear and anxiety. So be patient. Think about who someone usually is and not who they seem to be in this moment.

...

https://hbr.org/2020/03/that-discomfort-youre-feeling-is-grief

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Sleep cycles are definitely off. "Early" for me is before 11 am. CHIEF Jr. is in the middle of a 27 hour "nap". Went to bed about 7 this morning after shooting bows at our archery range for about 12 hours, he says he is way behind on sleep. People are sleeping 10-12 hours a day, and still feel tired. I don't understand that.

CHIEF

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wish i could sleep.

i have always been a night owl, and i can't nap. which was fine when i could actually live life. 

right now, i'd like to sleep 18 hours a day. 

 

 

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