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2022 Transfer Thread - It's the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)


closetojumping

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34 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

I'm thinking we see Alabama pull Sarkisian's staff's pants down, then publicly and brutally buttfuck the entire staff on national tv in the second weekend. I'm thinking something that would make Jodie Foster's character in The Accused think the Texas staff got it bad, like 65-10. That begins the process of cycling out the staff, with Kwiatkowski being driven to the city limits and thrown out of a slow rolling vehicle headed north, and Patterson is then named the "interim" DC for the remainder of the year.  

I, too, am optimistic about this upcoming season 

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20 minutes ago, Todd Gack said:

Gotta admit, I did not have "CTJ outed as a Q member" on my offseason bingo card.

The expression precedes the QAnon people from a literary perspective by about, oh, I don't know, 2000 years. I know two other things regarding this post:

1) I don't actually know much about QAnon other than they sound like the right wing version of the Antifa left wing dipshits. What it has to do with children, you'll have to tell me. Or, please don't.

2) Some of you guys have to turn anything into politics. He that is good with a hammer and such. 

13 minutes ago, Redneck Mutha said:

With or without chokehold?

The chokehold buttfuck, as per my understanding, is something generally reserved for close family members at large family gatherings. 

Among the varieties of buttfucks, I have to think the chokehold buttfuck is more gentle than a smooth buttfucking, and the smooth buttfucking is far and away preferential to the rough buttfucking. That considered, the smooth version has to be the most embarrassing, albeit not even remotely on the level of the dirty sanchez or bucking bronco versions. Anywho ...

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3 minutes ago, Fud said:

Dart is on an OV to BYU right now

 

On 1/15/2022 at 3:37 PM, Fud said:

I’ve suspected that Dart has been a BYU lock but is just taking visits to have fun. It’s interesting that BYU isn’t really being mentioned outside of USC and BYU mods 

 

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23 minutes ago, CHIEF said:

I'm hoping Marion can work magic with Washington and Dixon. Washington was an All-American in high school, played in the AA game. Dixon was higher rated than most of the WRs we have been anxious to pull out of the portal. Maybe a developmental coach will be the difference.

CHIEF

Don’t hold your breath on Washington. Dude’s a drop machine. I know he’s a decent blocker but give me a break on those hands. 

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Just now, Theo Aquacates said:

Don’t hold your breath on Washington. Dude’s a drop machine. I know he’s a decent blocker but give me a break on those hands. 

The bigger issue is he's slow 

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2 hours ago, Revolution512 said:

A QB that hasn't played college football. Texas is addressing needs and trying to fill holes. Somehow this staff decided it didn’t need to pursue OL help from the portal.

 

39 minutes ago, Burt Macklin said:

There have been a ton of good OL in the portal again this year. Guys that would be immediate starters and upgrades. Ole Miss got a western Kentucky OL who was all conference, UVA had multiple good OL transfer and there’s many more. We haven’t gone after them. 

in the era of the portal, there’s no fucking reason to go into next year hoping on a whim that Majors finally learns to anchor as your only real option at Center. Grab a transfer OL so you have more than option at finding a quality starter at one of the most important positions in the offense. 

If winning games in 2022 is more important to you than building towards 2024, then you can burn scholarships on a Rent-A-Jag O-lineman or two for 2022. Otherwise, if you like all of the incoming OL Freshmen and expect to give them lots of reps and experience this year, there's no need to go out and get portal OL help. 

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5 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

The expression precedes the QAnon people from a literary perspective by about, oh, I don't know, 2000 years. I know two other things regarding this post:

1) I don't actually know much about QAnon other than they sound like the right wing version of the Antifa left wing dipshits. What it has to do with children, you'll have to tell me. Or, please don't.

2) Some of you guys have to turn anything into politics. He that is good with a hammer and such. 

The chokehold buttfuck, as per my understanding, is something generally reserved for close family members at large family gatherings. 

Among the varieties of buttfucks, I have to think the chokehold buttfuck is more gentle than a smooth buttfucking, and the smooth buttfucking is far and away preferential to the rough buttfucking. That considered, the smooth version has to be the most embarrassing, albeit not even remotely on the level of the dirty sanchez or bucking bronco versions. Anywho ...

My post was made in jest.  A "joke" if you will...

Secondly, the fascinating thing about Q anon is not the politics aspect, but more so the cult-like human psychology aspect.  Watch the HBO doc if you're so inclined, I won't go into details to derail this thread since I have nothing to say about cheese or chicken fried steak.

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1 minute ago, Todd Gack said:

My post was made in jest.  A "joke" if you will...

Secondly, the fascinating thing about Q anon is not the politics aspect, but more so the cult-like human psychology aspect.  Watch the HBO doc if you're so inclined, I won't go into details to derail this thread since I have nothing to say about cheese or chicken fried steak.

What about Harry Potter?

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1 minute ago, Hornlover said:

 

If winning games in 2022 is more important to you than building towards 2024, then you can burn scholarships on a Rent-A-Jag O-lineman or two for 2022. Otherwise, if you like all of the incoming OL Freshmen and expect to give them lots of reps and experience this year, there's no need to go out and get portal OL help. 

So now the goalpost is at 2024, when Bijan, Worthy, and Ewers are all likely long gone. Great. 

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2 hours ago, Burt Macklin said:

Nope. He plays DE/edge and had a first rounder ahead of him basically every year. 

Lol wut. We’re running back the same, shitty OL from last year except without our best Tackle. so we’ll be hoping Christian Jones and a true freshman who isn’t an early enrolled to start at Tackle. And we’ll eithe be running out Majors, who got killed all last year, or a guy who’s never played Center at that spot. I’d say those are some glaring weaknesses. 
 

We would also still have holes at edge, ILB, and in-line TE. A guy like Moody is way too much of a question make to assume he’ll fix that. And Our DL is still the same DL that got run all over last year.

To be clear--in addition to Ewers, Watts, Billingsly, Neyor, Mathis, Brini, Moody--in the portal you would like to add: OT, OT, C, Edge, ILB, TE, DL, DL, DL.  16 total transfers. Am I missing anyone?  

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5 minutes ago, Fud said:

So now the goalpost is at 2024, when Bijan, Worthy, and Ewers are all likely long gone. Great. 

This is funny. Like it is a surprise that 2022 Texas isnt going to win a championship. 

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3 minutes ago, Codaxx said:

This is funny. Like it is a surprise that 2022 Texas isnt going to win a championship. 

The post I responded to said nothing about a championship 

Build towards 2024 while losing a lot of games in 2022 and 2023 likely will send recruiting down the tank and lower the ceiling for the 2024 team

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1 hour ago, FloridaHorn said:

Worthy, Billingsly, Neyor, Whittington and Thompson sounds pretty good to me, although I would prefer Rice, Irvin, Moss and Megatron as well.

Addison needs to try Whataburger or at least look inside the bag.

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1 hour ago, closetojumping said:

Huh. I guess that's the aggie way to see it. Mostly, I think it's just the fact that Nick Saban is an Imp of Satan and enjoys violently buttfucking other grown men in public against their will. It might help keep him young, along with feeding on the fresh blood of small children.

You’ve been spending to much time around Satya.  Not that you are wrong but fuck that little dwarf Saban and the Brocks.  I’ll probably need to lock up every bit of alcohol, in my house, for that game.   That will definitely be the wrong week for me to stop sniffing glue. 

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3 minutes ago, Fud said:

The post I responded to said nothing about a championship 

Build towards 2024 while losing a lot of games in 2022 and 2023 likely will send recruiting down the tank and lower the ceiling for the 2024 team

Year 1 the new coach get a grace period. Year 2, he has to show progress. Year 3, has to start showing results. Sark needs to win 8 this year to sell progress. 9 would be perfect. You have to take as many recruits as you can and then try to plug holes. Not the other way around. Hope Sark ruthlessly turns over the roster. Believe in Sark or dont , but the best thing for Texas is to bring in talent. Mostly importantly, bring talent across the DL and OL.

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I'll be the one to say it. The OL played good enough to win in about 4 or 5 of our 7 losses. They improved as the season went on.

I've seen much crappier lines in the past. To say we are running back "the same shitty line as last year" is just battered fan syndrome. We are only 7 years removed from starting a guy at tackle who's nickname was no contact allowed because he didn't like contact.

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2 minutes ago, stork642 said:

You’ve been spending to much time around Satya.  Not that you are wrong but fuck that little dwarf Saban and the Brocks.  I’ll probably need to lock up every bit of alcohol, in my house, for that game.   That will definitely be the wrong week for me to stop sniffing glue. 

Do I a) schedule a mountain trip like I did for this year's OU game, which ended up being an inspired choice, or b) watch it somewhere on the 1% chance we don't get brutally violated. Hrm.

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Just now, Hookem2147 said:

I'll be the one to say it. The OL played good enough to win in about 4 or 5 of our 7 losses. They improved as the season went on.

I've seen much crappier lines in the past. To say we are running back "the same shitty line as last year" is just battered fan syndrome. We are only 7 years removed from starting a guy at tackle who's nickname was no contact allowed because he didn't like contact.

Camrhon Hughes was ass, but Sedrick Flowers is the worst starting OL I have ever seen in my life.

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Just now, texifornia said:

Camrhon Hughes was ass, but Sedrick Flowers is the worst starting OL I have ever seen in my life.

I'm impressed that you can remember Flowers' name. I must have blocked him out completely.

image.thumb.png.d867a9a6753f61983421b08251dd3d0f.png

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3 minutes ago, stork642 said:

You’ve been spending to much time around Satya.  Not that you are wrong but fuck that little dwarf Saban and the Brocks.  I’ll probably need to lock up every bit of alcohol, in my house, for that game.   That will definitely be the wrong week for me to stop sniffing glue. 

You think you've got it bad, I'll be at the game, having to listen to @SydneyCarton speak declaratively about myriad subject matter of which he has no legitimate background or experience, as he gets progressively more drunk, profane, belligerent and incomprehensible.

I do plan on going down towards the tunnel and heckling Sixty-Point Loss Steve again while the fat 55 YO Karens clutch their pearls, gasp, and tell me I am a meanie. Basically, a direct repeat of this year's OSU game, only with a more embarrassing loss coupled with the creeping, dreadful sense of inevitable program failure.

Also, I just realized that my fucking bama friends, longhorn turncoats, will be there visiting and gloating as well. Fuck me, fuck you, and fuck this. 

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Just now, closetojumping said:

You think you've got it bad, I'll be at the game, having to listen to @SydneyCarton speak declaratively about myriad subject matter of which he has no legitimate background or experience, as he gets progressively more drunk, profane, belligerent and incomprehensible.

I do plan on going down towards the tunnel and heckling Sixty-Point Loss Steve again while the fat 55 YO Karens clutch their pearls, gasp, and tell me I am a meanie. Basically, a direct repeat of this year's OSU game, only with a more embarrassing loss coupled with the creeping, dreadful sense of inevitable program failure.

Also, I just realized that my fucking bama friends, longhorn turncoats, will be there visiting and gloating as well. Fuck me, fuck you, and fuck this. 

I mean, if you want to find one of the 7 wealthy Alabama fans who are travelling, I'm more than happy to unload our tickets and pay for half the season's tickets, sir. 

 

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Just now, Hookem2147 said:

I remember people thinking Cuney was good just because his snaps hit the QB in the chest and we weren't used to seeing that

I remember when Cuney was ranked as the #1 center in the country (or was it Texas) and literally every one who pays attention knew his 250 lb ass was going to suck balls. 

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4 minutes ago, texifornia said:

Do I a) schedule a mountain trip like I did for this year's OU game, which ended up being an inspired choice, or b) watch it somewhere on the 1% chance we don't get brutally violated. Hrm.

There’s a chance of brutal violation on a mountain trip.  At least with the game you can turn it off.   

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1 hour ago, Hiphopopotamos said:

No, but I'm fine believing Moody is better than the guy who started in the middle for Texas in 2021. 

A Bama special teams demon and noted guy who should get more chances on the field vs a walk-on with a torn ACL?

giphy.gif

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2 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

I remember when Cuney was ranked as the #1 center in the country (or was it Texas) and literally every one who pays attention knew his 250 lb ass was going to suck balls. 

Wasn't he Mack's only OL take until Strong came along and took some more bread?

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4 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

You think you've got it bad, I'll be at the game, having to listen to @SydneyCarton speak declaratively about myriad subject matter of which he has no legitimate background or experience, as he gets progressively more drunk, profane, belligerent and incomprehensible.

I do plan on going down towards the tunnel and heckling Sixty-Point Loss Steve again while the fat 55 YO Karens clutch their pearls, gasp, and tell me I am a meanie. Basically, a direct repeat of this year's OSU game, only with a more embarrassing loss coupled with the creeping, dreadful sense of inevitable program failure.

Also, I just realized that my fucking bama friends, longhorn turncoats, will be there visiting and gloating as well. Fuck me, fuck you, and fuck this. 

This is sounds like a can’t miss made for TV docudrama that I would pay a stupid amounts of money to witness.  This is what  LHN should be sending out.  

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8 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

You think you've got it bad, I'll be at the game, having to listen to @SydneyCarton speak declaratively about myriad subject matter of which he has no legitimate background or experience, as he gets progressively more drunk, profane, belligerent and incomprehensible.

I do plan on going down on Sixty-Point Loss Steve again while the fat 55 YO Karens clutch their pearls, gasp, and tell me I am a meanie. Basically, a direct repeat of this year's OSU game, only with a more embarrassing loss coupled with the creeping, dreadful sense of inevitable program failure.

Also, I just realized that my fucking bama friends, longhorn turncoats, will be there visiting and gloating as well. Fuck me, fuck you, and fuck this. 

FIFY. Amazing how two little letters can add so much missing context to the rest of the post. 

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18 minutes ago, texifornia said:

Camrhon Hughes was ass, but Sedrick Flowers is the worst starting OL I have ever seen in my life.

pretty sure we had a 3-star converted DT starting at LT at some point. Mark Hutchins or whatever.

No line we field will ever be as bad as that one.

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3 minutes ago, satyanash said:

pretty sure we had a 3-star converted DT starting at LT at some point. Mark Hutchins or whatever.

No line we field will ever be as bad as that one.

Jake McMillon. He was surprisingly good. 

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5 minutes ago, satyanash said:

pretty sure we had a 3-star converted DT starting at LT at some point. Mark Hutchins or whatever.

No line we field will ever be as bad as that one.

Genuinely have no recollection of this man who apparently started 13 games for us.

https://texassports.com/sports/football/roster/marcus-hutchins/5907

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The 2017 OL rivaled 2014 as the worst I've ever seen and that was the year Herman said 2 days before the season opener it was the best OL he'd seen in his career. We had Tristan Nickelson and Denzel Okafor starting at the two tackle spots after Connor Williams went down.

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11 minutes ago, Fud said:

Wow, this guys a stud. I think LSU finished second in his recruitment 

 

Also his position coach just left for LSU

If this is a wide open and not premeditated destination portal, Bama probably makes sense to, as they don't have a returning WR1

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1 hour ago, Burt Macklin said:

There have been a ton of good OL in the portal again this year. Guys that would be immediate starters and upgrades. Ole Miss got a western Kentucky OL who was all conference, UVA had multiple good OL transfer and there’s many more. We haven’t gone after them. 

in the era of the portal, there’s no fucking reason to go into next year hoping on a whim that Majors finally learns to anchor as your only real option at Center. Grab a transfer OL so you have more than option at finding a quality starter at one of the most important positions in the offense. 

Probably because of the num…er the sum total of people at the position group and/or team. 

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  • closetojumping changed the title to 2022 Transfer Thread - It's the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)

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