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Texas Recruiting Notes 2023: Strippers, Monkeys, and 5-Stars


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38 minutes ago, Dr. Teeth said:

If we get Manning, I think the package deals go away. Every kid will have an excuse. Cook and Owens will say they are going to do what is best for them. It will be based on A&M’s best offer. At least DJ’s dad is being honest. Hopefully we will still get a healthy group of WRs, but I doubt it will be the ones linked to Manning now. 

go fuck yourself middle finger GIF

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3 hours ago, RaysBoomBoomRoom said:

Internet jokes galore, maybe they should do a video on the Aggy trophy room

u

 

Being from Desoto, Cook should know.  They won a football championship in 2016 and couldn't fire that coach fast enough.

 

Luckily, they were able to re-hire his predecessor who has not won yet.  This despite having enough talent to be favored on a couple of occasions.

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38 minutes ago, Jabberwocky said:

Not yet. He has visited Stanford, Auburn, Texas, Florida State,  and Florida recently. (As far as I can tell from his timeline).

I would guess that he will be going to the Aggie spring game this weekend.

After reading the article it just feels like aggy will offer him when he visits and commit a month or two after.  

EDIT:  He does have a Texas pick from Sam Spiegelman.

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36 minutes ago, Elmer_Fudd said:

After reading the article it just feels like aggy will offer him when he visits and commit a month or two after.  

EDIT:  He does have a Texas pick from Sam Spiegelman.

Yeah, there's always one or two big rural/exburban white OL that are aggy legacy auto-commits for them. Literally every class.

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I hate myself for asking this (well, more than usual) but seeing Bohls eviscerated in the spring football thread for comparing Murphy to Jalen Hurts reminds me I’ve seen emails from the AAS promoting a paywall article in which Ol Kurt and Ced Golden claim odds are against us landing Arch. Anyone know what they are talking about? Yes, I know Statesman writers are usually way out of the loop, just curious. (And paying $1 for a six month subscription is still overpriced.)

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2 hours ago, Helobious said:

That’s blowing up on Instagram too. Sad part is he’s not totally wrong. Better than A&Ms at least

This is a statement made out of ignorance and self-loathing as a fan.

Texas has won 4 titles in CFB in the era in which legitimate-ish titles were given. In terms of legitimate titles, that's in the top 10. No one can compare to Bama, then USC or ND on that front, and then there's a bunch of teams bunched between 3 and 7. Schools like Pitt and Michigan State and Tennessee claim a bunch of fake retroactive shit and if Texas did that, we'd be able to claim like 9-11 total.

Outside of that, Texas has titles in like 12 other fucking sports. They've dominated in a few sports, including S&D. Texas wins NTs almost every single year, including this school year. Very few schools outside of UT, Stanford, and whoever is dominating gymnastics or wrestling can claim any of that. 

 

2 hours ago, Jabberwocky said:

 

This dipshit will wind up going somewhere like ATM, which has won one title in the same year Hitler invaded Poland. Or OU, where they last one a title a half decade beyond UT's. 

I will never understand why Texas even fucking bothers trying to recruit overhyped fuckwads from DeSoto where they're coached by that fuckface Claude Mathis.

58 minutes ago, Elmer_Fudd said:

After reading the article it just feels like aggy will offer him when he visits and commit a month or two after.  

EDIT:  He does have a Texas pick from Sam Spiegelman.

After viewing what's available in this cycle, are you interested in Stroh being one of the 3-5 OLs that Texas takes? He's just not a guy that I can get excited about as a recruit.

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35 minutes ago, Vito Andolini said:

I hate myself for asking this (well, more than usual) but seeing Bohls eviscerated in the spring football thread for comparing Murphy to Jalen Hurts reminds me I’ve seen emails from the AAS promoting a paywall article in which Ol Kurt and Ced Golden claim odds are against us landing Arch. Anyone know what they are talking about? Yes, I know Statesman writers are usually way out of the loop, just curious. (And paying $1 for a six month subscription is still overpriced.)

I did myself the disservice of listening to their podcast on this topic.  Their argument is that the Manning’s are an SEC family and we won’t be in the SEC until at least 2 years.  Which on the face of it is stupid, since no matter where he goes he’s very unlikely to start his freshman year, putting him on the bench for what is likely our last year in the Big 12.  So, no, they did not appear to have any unique insight, other than the uniqueness of their stupidity. 

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22 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

 

I will never understand why Texas even fucking bothers trying to recruit overhyped fuckwads from DeSoto where they're coached by that fuckface Claude Mathis.

 

I almost pointed to Von Miller but he graduated before Mathis got there. Guess he can still hang his hat on Jalen Mills.

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51 minutes ago, Vito Andolini said:

I hate myself for asking this (well, more than usual) but seeing Bohls eviscerated in the spring football thread for comparing Murphy to Jalen Hurts reminds me I’ve seen emails from the AAS promoting a paywall article in which Ol Kurt and Ced Golden claim odds are against us landing Arch. Anyone know what they are talking about? Yes, I know Statesman writers are usually way out of the loop, just curious. (And paying $1 for a six month subscription is still overpriced.)

It's bad

Spoiler

1. Will Arch Manning end up committing to Texas?

Bohls: I’ll say no. Steve Sarkisian definitely has a shot, and the signs are encouraging. But I’ll believe it when I hear it from Manning’s mouth. I do believe he’s smitten with Austin, very much likes the school and is intrigued by Sarkisian’s reputation with quarterbacks. But I say in the end, he doesn’t want to save a franchise and instead becomes a Georgia Bulldog.

Golden: It won’t happen. Manning seems to be really enamored with our city, but at his core, he’s an SEC legacy with NFL aspirations, which means coming to a program that's still looking for its sea legs doesn’t work in his favor long term. He'll end up at Alabama or Georgia because Nick Saban and Kirby Smart are coaching perennial title contenders in the best conference in college football. Texas has too many unanswered questions — on the field and on its coaching staff — for Manning to become part of a rebuild.

 

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6 hours ago, Hiphopopotamos said:

Can we all agree that the On3 NIL valuations and Prediction 'algorithms' are fucking worthless.  Maybe some day there will be enough data for NIL - but there will never be a computer that can predict the decisions of a 17year old kid.

Bullshit. I've been working on an algorithm that accurately predicts most 17 year olds with astonishing accuracy:

if isBoy() {
   for choice in choices {
     if isPussy(choice) return choice ;
     else if isPorn(choice) return choice;
     else if isLotsOfMoney(choice) return choice;
     else if isWatchYoutube(choice) return choice;
     else if isHijinks(choice) return choice;
     else if isLazy(choice) return choice;
     else choices = generateNewChoices;
   }
}
if isGirl() {
    randomNumber = generateRandomNumber();
    if randomNumber in (12, 25, 36, 37, 44, 93,99){
      return maxCrazy(choices);
    }
    else return choices[randomNumber];
}

 

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14 minutes ago, Elmer_Fudd said:

Crystal balled to Texas by Roach, but nobody else on other sites have any picks in.

He’s a bit of a project but has some pass rushing upside that other edge guys in the class might not have. He’s the type who goes to Oklahoma State and bakes in the oven for a few years before becoming an all conference player.

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24 minutes ago, Hookem2147 said:

He’s a bit of a project but has some pass rushing upside that other edge guys in the class might not have. He’s the type who goes to Oklahoma State and bakes in the oven for a few years before becoming an all conference player.

I thought Byron Vaughns was going to be good.

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3 hours ago, closetojumping said:

This dipshit will wind up going somewhere like ATM, which has won one title in the same year Hitler invaded Poland. Or OU, where they last one a title a half decade beyond UT's. 

I will never understand why Texas even fucking bothers trying to recruit overhyped fuckwads from DeSoto where they're coached by that fuckface Claude Mathis.

 

2 hours ago, Helobious said:

I almost pointed to Von Miller but he graduated before Mathis got there. Guess he can still hang his hat on Jalen Mills.

Miller is the only NFL star, but Desoto has produced plenty of good college players. Laviska Shenault, James Proche, the Orr brothers, Tatum Bell, etc etc.

And one of our more promising DL on the current roster, Byron Murphy, is from Desoto too.

Mathis is a shithead, but it’d be stupid to ignore Desoto.

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3 hours ago, closetojumping said:

After viewing what's available in this cycle, are you interested in Stroh being one of the 3-5 OLs that Texas takes? He's just not a guy that I can get excited about as a recruit.

I have gone back and forth on this. If in doubt, recruit size on the lines. I just picture a line with Cam Williams and Stroh on the same side, it would almost be like having another lineman on the field. But if we lose him, I am not really going to wring my hands. If he goes to aggy at this point after us being so far in front of his recruitment then he was never going anywhere else.

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54 minutes ago, Vertigo said:

I have gone back and forth on this. If in doubt, recruit size on the lines. I just picture a line with Cam Williams and Stroh on the same side, it would almost be like having another lineman on the field. But if we lose him, I am not really going to wring my hands. If he goes to aggy at this point after us being so far in front of his recruitment then he was never going anywhere else.

I don’t know if it’s fair to say we’re “in front”. There was a quote from him a while back that was something like “if I get an A&M offer, I wouldn’t necessarily commit immediately.”  Which, of course, sounds like a guy that wants to commit to A&M given the chance. 

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Bullshit. I've been working on an algorithm that accurately predicts most 17 year olds with astonishing accuracy:
if isBoy() {  for choice in choices {    if isPussy(choice) return choice ;    else if isPorn(choice) return choice;    else if isLotsOfMoney(choice) return choice;    else if isWatchYoutube(choice) return choice;    else if isHijinks(choice) return choice;    else if isLazy(choice) return choice;    else choices = generateNewChoices;  }}if isGirl() {   randomNumber = generateRandomNumber();   if randomNumber in (12, 25, 36, 37, 44, 93,99){     return maxCrazy(choices);   }   else return choices[randomNumber];}

 


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15 hours ago, Thiefery said:

Ketch talked about this a few weeks ago on one of his YouTube videos.  UT is the only school that Arch has put on the uniform for on any of his visits.

https://twitter.com/GoatHouseBama/status/1405926382228627461?s=20&t=Jf3hT6CBzn4OPwllsuTc-A

 

Sorry I'm late, but why the fuck are you believing anything that Ketch says? 

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11 hours ago, Lonestar88 said:

 

Miller is the only NFL star, but Desoto has produced plenty of good college players. Laviska Shenault, James Proche, the Orr brothers, Tatum Bell, etc etc.

And one of our more promising DL on the current roster, Byron Murphy, is from Desoto too.

Mathis is a shithead, but it’d be stupid to ignore Desoto.

The guy steers his quality recruits away from Texas even when they’re interested. Fuck him and fuck anyone equivocating for his sorry fucking ass. If you, as a Desoto honk, apparently, want to waste time pining for gifts from Claude Mathis, have a ball. I’m hoping this staff finds better ways to waste their time elsewhere. 

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13 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

The guy steers his quality recruits away from Texas even when they’re interested. Fuck him and fuck anyone equivocating for his sorry fucking ass. If you, as a Desoto honk, apparently, want to waste time pining for gifts from Claude Mathis, have a ball. I’m hoping this staff finds better ways to waste their time elsewhere. 

C'mon, can't I hold onto the hope that Chris Gilbert will use his connections to build a DeSoto pipeline? Lancaster and SOC both practically border DeSoto.

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