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Trivial things that make you surly


elfenix

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10 hours ago, Superhero said:

Team Brawny Tear a Square.

6” is fine. But don’t need 12” girth. 

I hate the select a size paper towels.  I use bounty and it's getting hard to find the rolls that only have the full sheet.  When real man use a paper towel they want, no they need, a full size paper towel, not some hobbit sized shit.

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3 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I hate the select a size paper towels.  I use bounty and it's getting hard to find the rolls that only have the full sheet.  When real man use a paper towel they want, no they need, a full size paper towel, not some hobbit sized shit.

Damn man just how sloppy are you ?

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7 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I hate the select a size paper towels.  I use bounty and it's getting hard to find the rolls that only have the full sheet.  When real man use a paper towel they want, no they need, a full size paper towel, not some hobbit sized shit.

So use two sheets. You don’t have to tear them off one-at-a-time.

That said, if I had rolls of full size sheets, I’d come up with tasks that make for good uses of full size sheets. Collecting excess grease from recently tried food is a good use for full size sheets. Which reminds me, I’ve got some bacon that needs frying. 

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4 hours ago, Armybrat said:

Driving through the neighborhood dodging Karens/soccer moms jogging/walking in the street while pushing their babies & toddlers in strollers.

Use the gottdamned sidewalks you dumb idiots.

Was just about to post something similar.  The funniest is when the biker has to swerve into traffic from the bike only lane because some stupid mom is pushing her baby in the bike lane rather than on the sidewalk.  

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5 hours ago, Armybrat said:

Driving through the neighborhood dodging Karens/soccer moms jogging/walking in the street while pushing their babies & toddlers in strollers.

Use the gottdamned sidewalks you dumb idiots.

Except in my neighborhood we have front driveways/garages. and about every 4th house some fucker is parked on the sidewalk. 

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14 minutes ago, Trey3216 said:

The .22 LR is highly accurate, and pretty damn quiet.  

A green beret I knew, who did some scary stuff in Vietnam, told me all you had to do was put a few drops of oil down the barrel and tape a balloon over the muzzle to silence one pretty well.

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It's very progressive of them to use "don't let THEM"...as in, "Come in he, she, they, multiple partners at a time...whoever...just don't let 'em see it."  

Of course, whoever "Them" is in your sexual scenario...they have every right to wonder why your dick is brown and green.  Kind of a red flag during foreplay.  

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1 minute ago, Lobo said:

It's very progressive of them to use "don't let THEM"...as in, "Come in he, she, they, multiple partners at a time...whoever...just don't let 'em see it."  

Of course, whoever "Them" is in your sexual scenario...they have every right to wonder why your dick is brown and green.  Kind of a red flag during foreplay.  

How else does an aggy sneak up on a sheep?

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Just now, Js1 said:

How else does an aggy sneak up on a sheep?

Asking for an Aggie friend, but if you're gonna fuck livestock.  And let's be honest...it happens.  Do you even bother wearing a condom?  It's the nation's foremost Veterinary School of Medicine.  Obviously they know pregnancy is not a risk.  If they're gonna do that, do you even mess with a prophylactic?  And if you do, wouldn't a Lambskin Condom make more sense for obvious reasons?  Or does that kill the mood with a sheep, to fuck it with a dick clad in one of its relatives?  

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52 minutes ago, Lobo said:

^

Must be a true badass to survive versus Charlie given that a Green Beret blowing up pink birthday balloons in the jungle probably stood out a bit to enemy snipers.

Don't think he blew it up before putting it over the muzzle. And yes this guy was scary badass. From what I gleaned from him, they would go and set markers at enemy fuel/supply sites. They had to stick around and help rescue a pilot if he was shot down. So when shit started exploding the Vietnamese knew they were still in the area and started looking for them. I gathered they used .22's because they were easy to silence and you could put a shot through someone eye at 75 yards without being heard. Maybe someone on here served there and could verify.  

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I don't need verification.  I totally believe you.  My Dad was serving in the Navy then, but my uncle who was ar-cav infantry (Black Horse) and said in a pinch, a balloon or condom could be a nice muzzle.  I'm guessing he was referring to his rifle, not his gun.  Obviously they weren't giving away their position by accidentally blowing up balloons too big and popping them.  I mean, I bet it happened once and god rest that one man's soul. 

He also told me one of the most emotionally damaging things that happened to him over there was one night they had to knock out a fellow patrol team member because he just couldn't stop snoring no matter what position they put him in (and it was that monstrous sounding kind that sure as shit didn't blend in with the jungle night soundtrack...apparently white people also snore differently than Asians---I dunno).  They were right on top of any enemy position but had decided to sleep in shifts and wait for dawn.  This guy just couldn't help it (obviously mid-1960's portable sleep apnea equipment was in its infancy).  Some guys talked about literally killing him to save the rest of the patrol.  Instead, they knocked him the fuck out and covered up his body and one guy stayed with him down low.  Rest completed the maneuver at dawn and returned back successfully.  They fucked the guy up really bad, but for their own good.  I'd like to think they tried to cheer him up by offering him brightly colored balloons.  My uncle would laugh at that, he's got a really fucked up sense of humor.  

Back to trivial things...people using leaf blowers on holidays.  Knock it off! 

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31 minutes ago, Superhero said:

A majority of people can't spell or pronunciate my name. It's a traditional spelling of a relatively common name. But I get emails, even from people I work relatively closely with, with my name spelled incorrectly.

I would empathize with you more had you not declared spelling bullshit, followed by the word "pronunciate"  

I'm consistently blown away at humanity.  My last name follows the very simple rule of "i before e, except after c"  obviously there's hundreds of exceptions, but two vowels go a walking, the second one does the talking and that's how you pronounce my last name.  Anyway, when I have to spell it in person...I will state the first consonant (not C).  And then say "i" and then just pause and then say "e" and the rest of the spelling at a regular pace.  4 times outta 5, the person will write the first letter, listen to me, then write "e" and then "i" despite me waiting for them to write the "i" first before I proceed.  It's fucking amazing.  It's like I'm in on some 40-year parlor trick that only me and some desk clerks know about.  I have these all these useless super powers, one of which is...just by talking in condescending fashion, I can make any educated adult write the letter by "E" by saying the letter "i" to them.  Maybe I could get into bank forgery or something.  

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2 hours ago, Lobo said:

I would empathize with you more had you not declared spelling bullshit, followed by the word "pronunciate"  

It's an uncommon spelling for sure, but it's a real word.

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/pronunciation

Quote

Essential Meaning of pronunciation

1: the way in which a word or name is pronounced

What is the correct pronunciation of his name?
I haven't learned proper pronunciation of French words.

2: a particular person's way of pronouncing a word or the words of a language
He has flawless pronunciation. [=he pronounces words flawlessly]

 

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On 12/19/2021 at 4:13 PM, Superhero said:

When I’m on vacation and the Ring camera in the living room detections motion. I hear noises, possibly from a neighbor (but who can be sure?), and there’s nothing I can do about it. 

Our subscription only covered the front door. As of 15 minutes ago I upgraded the plan to over all the cameras, and also buying a shit ton of extra cameras. 

Costco comes with a year of ring protect.   Doublecheck the prices before your order ships.

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25 minutes ago, Ag with kids said:

Ha...

My name is FOUR letters long.  It's a common word.

And I have to spell it almost every time.

Mine is 5.  I am utterly amazed at how people fuck it up.

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My wife needed two forms of ID- one of which could be an expired DL.
If an expired license can be a valid form of ID, then why does she need to get a new one?

It’s a trap. I just got my new license in the mail today and the letter says I must immediately destroy the old one because it is unlawful to have two DLs in your possession.
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