Jump to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Surly Horns

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.
Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

Featured Replies

16 minutes ago, BrickHorn said:

Biden might be the Dems’ W, but I’ll take it.  It’s early morning in America.  As in 1:59 AM at the Dirty 6th shots bar.  This is no time to be picky.    

 

13 minutes ago, Dnaguy said:

Joe Biden:

America’s Presidential slump buster.

Staff:  Joe, we know you can't jump over a Volkswagen.

Joe:  What's your point?

Staff:  My point is that I think it's a bad idea that you've scheduled a televised event where you're gonna attempt to jump over a Volkswagen.

Joe:  You might be on to something.  It should be an American car.  Let's do a Ford Taurus.

Staff:  They'll love ya for trying, Joe.  It's a great idea.

  • Replies 43.7k
  • Views 2.8m
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Most Popular Posts

  • Let me be candid and honest here my man. I cannot be sympathetic to your comments because this is how adult life has always been. From the moment I stepped out of my home and headed off to college I h

  • Francisco 2.0
    Francisco 2.0

  • henrygandorf
    henrygandorf

    it won't matter if his taxes ever come out.  it won't matter if his taxes don't ever come out.  you wanna know why?  because we already know what's in them. since early 2017 when people starting

Posted Images

23 minutes ago, henrygandorf said:

i think mitch and company will forget who donald trump is the minute he stops being president.

"i might've taken a picture with this trump guy, but i don't really know him.  i take pictures with a lot of people."

That's why it is our job to NEVER FORGET.  Step 2 is getting rid of the Rs.  This war doesn't end if we get the dotard out.  It would be nice to take them all out in one fell swoop, but that's unlikely.  They have the dotard albatross FOREVER.  And it is up to us to punish them.

19 minutes ago, Chooky said:

 

Staff:  Joe, we know you can't jump over a Volkswagen.

Joe:  What's your point?

Staff:  My point is that I think it's a bad idea that you've scheduled a televised event where you're gonna attempt to jump over a Volkswagen.

Joe:  You might be on to something.  It should be an American car.  Let's do a Ford Taurus.

Staff:  They'll love ya for trying, Joe.  It's a great idea.

6af9040514f84bcccd232ac2e79cdd22--childh

20 minutes ago, Chooky said:

 

Staff:  Joe, we know you can't jump over a Volkswagen.

Joe:  What's your point?

Staff:  My point is that I think it's a bad idea that you've scheduled a televised event where you're gonna attempt to jump over a Volkswagen.

Joe:  You might be on to something.  It should be an American car.  Let's do a Ford Taurus.

Staff:  They'll love ya for trying, Joe.  It's a great idea.

 

1443727312-knievel.gif?crop=1xw:1.0xh;ce

9 minutes ago, Chooky said:

55582-ddc15943d55ecc233f74b1ed899d71ac.j

I believe at one time, when Biden was less relevant to my interests, I thought that was real.  Obviously I didn't look at it real hard.

Edited by TwiceHorn

3 minutes ago, TwiceHorn said:

I believe at one time, when Biden was less relevant to my interests, I thought that was real.  Obviously I didn't look at it real hard.

The Onion’s Biden shtick was amazing. 

”Advising the 1,500 new graduates to “check out this shit,” Vice President Joe Biden reportedly lost control of his rapidly twirling butterfly knife Saturday while delivering the commencement speech at the University of South Carolina.”

It's not a spray tan it's makeup. Ask Trump to clarify this in a debate. 

I'd be even more supportive of Biden if that Trans Am pic were real.

Edited by jimmyjazz
don't type good

The mental gymnastics of Trumpers trying to get around Trump's hoax comments are hilarious, and sad, very sad.

26 minutes ago, BrickHorn said:

The Onion’s Biden shtick was amazing. 

”Advising the 1,500 new graduates to “check out this shit,” Vice President Joe Biden reportedly lost control of his rapidly twirling butterfly knife Saturday while delivering the commencement speech at the University of South Carolina.”

The Mexico one is a work of art.

Quote

According to aides, Biden has reached out to President Obama and asked him to explain his sudden disappearance to his wife, Jill.

"Come on, Barry, you know how to talk to her," Biden was overheard saying into a payphone outside a local taqueria. "Jilly knew what she was getting into the day she married me, but brother, I don't think flowers are gonna cut it this time."

On Tuesday, the Senate received a postcard of topless women wearing green, red, and white bikini bottoms from Biden. A personal message apologized for his extended absence and provided contact information and instructions to call his buddy Blaze if they needed a tiebreaking vote.

 

Edited by Bateshorn

The article where he hazed freshmen senators by having them box an Irish longshoreman for 50 rounds was my favorite.  

2 minutes ago, Bateshorn said:

The Mexico one is a work of art.

"

JUÁREZ, MEXICO—In an effort to let the heat die down a little, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly skipped town Saturday, telling White House officials that he was going to be lying low in Mexico for a spell.

"I need to steer clear of D.C. until some shit blows over," said Biden, sitting in the far corner of a Mexican cantina with his back to the wall and taking a long swig from a bottle of Tecate Light. "It's nothing I can't handle, but let's just say there was a little misunderstanding. Somebody didn't get something they were supposed to get."

https://politics.theonion.com/biden-to-cool-his-heels-in-mexico-for-a-while-1819571718

That Mexico one is probably my favorite. So vaguely seedy.  And I love that his friends outside the office are all clearly sketchy biker dudes.  Blaze, Worm, etc.

Edited by BrickHorn

The one where he wakes in a morgue is also pretty solid. 

Quote

“Sure as shit isn’t my first rodeo in the meat locker,” said Biden, who reportedly grabbed a forceps from a nearby surgical table and attempted to jimmy open a locked exit door. “Just gotta get a handle on some stuff before I wake up in a pine condo. Plenty of juice left in this ticker.”

“Diamond Joe’s not going to the boneyard without a fight,” added Biden.

 

I had forgotten about so many of these.  When he orders the grow light to the White House under an alias and forges Obama’s signature to make December, Dokken month.  Holy shit.  I am crying In my car right now.  

20 minutes ago, BrickHorn said:

That Mexico one is probably my favorite. So vaguely seedy.  And I love that his friends outside the office are all clearly sketchy biker dudes.  Blaze, Worm, etc.

After watching Jill Biden take out that protester, I would say she could handle herself pretty well, too.

58 minutes ago, TwiceHorn said:

I believe at one time, when Biden was less relevant to my interests, I thought that was real.  Obviously I didn't look at it real hard.

How do you look at it without getting real hard? 

38 minutes ago, Bateshorn said:

The one where he wakes in a morgue is also pretty solid. 

 

“Sure as shit isn’t my first rodeo in the meat locker,” said Biden, who reportedly grabbed a forceps from a nearby surgical table and attempted to jimmy open a locked exit door. “Just gotta get a handle on some stuff before I wake up in a pine condo. Plenty of juice left in this ticker.”

“Diamond Joe’s not going to the boneyard without a fight,” added Biden.

If Biden knew what’s good for him, he should counter the whole ‘Sleepy Joe”’ nickname thing with ‘Diamond Joe’... and start referring to himself in the third person.

Hell, his whole campaign slogan should be:

“Diamond Joe’s not going to the boneyard without a fight.”

-Biden 2020

"I ain't bloatin' until the keg is floatin' Biden/Blaze 2020

“ Ain’t no party like a Scranton party, ‘Cause a Scranton party don’t stop.- Michael Scott“

    - Joe Biden

Man, I had totally forgotten about those. I'm cracking up now.

3 hours ago, Chooky said:

55582-ddc15943d55ecc233f74b1ed899d71ac.j

I thought that was Roger Stone, which would totally have made sense as a real pic.

Edited by DixonHur
beer and thc

Well, a day or so ago Trump was blaming Obama for the state of the military that was deeded over, and blamed it for the exploding deficit.  Problem, the actual budget doesn't show that.

Gaslight much, asshole?

14 minutes ago, Mapache said:

Fuck this sonofabitch

 

That was the R plan.  The dotard has no plan, he's a squirrel.

1 minute ago, Biff Tannen said:

That was the R plan.  The dotard has no plan, he's a squirrel.

The squirrels, eh?  Well, we have no deal with them!  /Pelosi 

3 hours ago, jimmyjazz said:

Well, a day or so ago Trump was blaming Obama for the state of the military that was deeded over, and blamed it for the exploding deficit.  Problem, the actual budget doesn't show that.

Gaslight much, asshole?

Who are you going to believe, what some people are saying is the greatest President in the history of the United States or your fucking lying eyes?

Just heard it on Washington Week. Not surprising that Renfield is out. Meadows is a tool so I expect just more of the same. 

Just now, Ghost of LL said:

Jesus—nothing says “we have this shit under control” quite like a staff shakeup.

pence has already been contradicting trump on availability of tests.  the table is set...

1 minute ago, henrygandorf said:

pence has already been contradicting trump on availability of tests.  the table is set...

VP Ivanka. Trump/Trump 2020

Just when I think donny has reached peak dumb, he proves me wrong.  He’s very reliable in that regard.

3 minutes ago, RPM said:

VP Ivanka. Trump/Trump 2020

Imagine Ivanka on the debate stage. 

Meadows chaired the Freedom Caucus from 2017 to 2019. I'm sure he will temper Trump. Did I say temper? I meant stoke.

  • Author
6 minutes ago, RPM said:

VP Ivanka. Trump/Trump 2020

Pardon Roger Stone, then name him for the lulz.

 

2 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Imagine Ivanka on the debate stage. 

Clothed? It's much easier naked.

3 minutes ago, RPM said:

Clothed? It's much easier naked.

Speaking. 

1 minute ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Speaking. 

She can talk?

4 minutes ago, RPM said:

She can talk?

No. That's the point. 

 

Just now, WhatTheBuck said:

No. That's the point. 

 

I thought these were the points.

ivanka-trump-unga.jpg?w=656

1 minute ago, RPM said:

I thought these were the points.

ivanka-trump-unga.jpg?w=656

If you can pry your eyes away from the nips, what the fucking fuck is that thing on her skirt?  It it supposed to be a rose?  IT looks like a fish jumping out of the water to take a fly.

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.