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  • you guys aren't going to believe this, but i may have misjudged the potential floor here.

  • closetojumping
    closetojumping

    Aggie - Fisher - Plan 2024 Synopsis, as I've come to hear about it: Spoilered for the tl;dr crowd that doesn't give a shit and doesn't want to scroll.  

  • closetojumping
    closetojumping

    I have to tell you, I don't know if I can handle this if it is true. They are speculating on the aggie 247 board that, because Elijah Robinson is still an employee at Texas A&M and because he is c

Posted Images

  • Popular Post

The Jizzjar's Elbow

1 minute ago, Hookem2147 said:

I am drawing a blank. Who the hell is TJE again?

image.png.0b1ea1ec8c96f76b2da8c11506f7659f.png

Jerod-Ellie a former player and analyst they promoted. 

1 minute ago, Hookem2147 said:

I am drawing a blank. Who the hell is TJE again?

Tony Jerod-Eddie.  Holy fucking shit if true.

2 minutes ago, Hookem2147 said:

I am drawing a blank. Who the hell is TJE again?

image.png.0b1ea1ec8c96f76b2da8c11506f7659f.png

And richw4's avatar is perfect for that post.

  • Popular Post

Welp, Christmas is a wrap.  I don't really need anything else this year.  

That kids dad is a fucking pathetic loser. That kid is so fucked when he hits adulthood and it's 100% because of his dog shit father. 

Daddy is six figs?
1 minute ago, ClubWhatever said:

Is TJE the 77-0 dance guy?

Johnny Jolly. 

3 minutes ago, ClubWhatever said:

Is TJE the 77-0 dance guy?

Not quite…

hqdefault.jpg
 

 

Edited by Pato del Muerto

  • Popular Post

Bateman power rankings

1) Patrick Bateman
2) Jason Bateman
3) Master Batman
.
.
.
.
.
Jay Bateman

  • Popular Post

Holy shit this just keeps getting better.

And I have a feeling they didn't wait 3 weeks because they were looking for people, they waited until today because they knew they were hiring Bateman and wanted to hide it from potential signees. That didn't work to get everyone to sign so now they have to announce it to recruit with him moving forward.

  • Popular Post
Just now, Fud said:

Bateman power rankings

1) Patrick Bateman
2) Jason Bateman
3) Master Batman
.
.
.
.
.
Jay Bateman

Justine somewhere in there. 
 

MALLORY!!!!

4 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Not quite…

hqdefault.jpg
 

 

Yep. The nut grabber

3 minutes ago, Hank Kingsley said:

Looch 2 weeks ago. He knew then.

 

"attainable" is a hilarious word in context.

"Mom, I'd like you to meet my new boyfriend"

"Nice to meet you. You certainly are a very attainable young man."

22 minutes ago, ClubWhatever said:

Lots of people here, some of whom still aren't dead, thought he was a good hire by Mack at UNC. 

and then he proved he was awful and over his head. That was in the shitty ACC. The SEC is going to eat him up.

2 hours ago, DanTheHorn said:

Maybe no one specifically imagined but before the start of the 2021 season I replied to someone that thought aggy was on their way that Michigan and us would be on top before aggy ever was because aggy is aggy and blue bloods always take back their rightful place. It is just the destiny of a blue blood. I mentioned Michigan as a way to illustrate that it does not matter if a blue blood has been down forever they are part of a club.

 

corn-is-alive.jpg

6 minutes ago, Hank Kingsley said:

Looch 2 weeks ago. He knew then.

 

 

2 hours ago, Nivek said:

I believe the correct nomenclature is the worm is turning.

how can they sleep when their beds are burning?

Just when you think aggie can’t aggie more..  

IMG_5246.jpeg

  • Popular Post

So let me get this straight.

Aggy didn't promote ERob because he was a position coach.  They did ask him to coach the bowl game and keep the recruiting class together.  The class turns into a disaster, and he actually took a couple of players with him.

Flash forward two weeks.  They hire a POSITION coach from the only other program that's as big of a dumpster fire as them?!?!

Holy crap. Some of my elementary students have better decision-making skills.

19 minutes ago, ClubWhatever said:

Is TJE the 77-0 dance guy?

He grabs crotches.

  • Popular Post
Just now, Knoxtnhorn said:

So let me get this straight.

Aggy didn't promote ERob because he was a position coach.  They did ask him to coach the bowl game and keep the recruiting class together.  The class turns into a disaster, and he actually took a couple of players with him.

Flash forward two weeks.  They hire a POSITION coach from the only other program that's as big of a dumpster fire as them?!?!

Holy crap. Some of my elementary students have better decision-making skills.

Literally could have promoted Robinson and let him call plays, kept the recruiting class and team together and if he sucks you fire him next year. Instead they decided to burn it all down for Dwight Schrute

1 minute ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

So let me get this straight.

Aggy didn't promote ERob because he was a position coach.  They did ask him to coach the bowl game and keep the recruiting class together.  The class turns into a disaster, and he actually took a couple of players with him.

Flash forward two weeks.  They hire a POSITION coach from the only other program that's as big of a dumpster fire as them?!?!

giphy.gif?cid=ecf05e4785cjvagsle87oonfzy

3 minutes ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

So let me get this straight.

Aggy didn't promote ERob because he was a position coach.  They did ask him to coach the bowl game and keep the recruiting class together.  The class turns into a disaster, and he actually took a couple of players with him.

Flash forward two weeks.  They hire a POSITION coach from the only other program that's as big of a dumpster fire as them?!?!

Holy crap. Some of my elementary students have better decision-making skills.

delicious emma stone GIF

29 minutes ago, billfromlaketravis said:

So Bateman cheated while coaching at a real military academy. How does aggy square that? 

Yeah, I didn't remember that scandal so I read an article about it.  One of the radio guys at Wake Forest was a former coach there who didn't like the new head coach.  He gave out all of Wake's Offensive plays to at least 3 schools, one of which was Army.  Bateman was an assistant at Army at the time and who the radio guy gave the plays to.

Edited by kevwun

5 minutes ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

So let me get this straight.

Aggy didn't promote ERob because he was a position coach.  They did ask him to coach the bowl game and keep the recruiting class together.  The class turns into a disaster, and he actually took a couple of players with him.

Flash forward two weeks.  They hire a POSITION coach from the only other program that's as big of a dumpster fire as them?!?!

Holy crap. Some of my elementary students have better decision-making skills.

I honestly think they'd be in a better position if they just consulted ChatGPT for each of these decisions. 

6 minutes ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

So let me get this straight.

Aggy didn't promote ERob because he was a position coach.  They did ask him to coach the bowl game and keep the recruiting class together.  The class turns into a disaster, and he actually took a couple of players with him.

Flash forward two weeks.  They hire a POSITION coach from the only other program that's as big of a dumpster fire as them?!?!

Holy crap. Some of my elementary students have better decision-making skills.

I mean, Bateman does have 15+ years of calling a defense

55 minutes ago, Chuckie Finster said:

Holy shit, this is the guy they waited three weeks for?  How many people must have told Elko no?

Think how much worse yesterday would have gone for them if they had announced this hire beforehand. 

  • Popular Post
56 minutes ago, South Austin said:

Strong to quite strong resume:

Coaching career

After graduating from Randolph–Macon in 1995, Bateman went to work for a company that sold paper machinery. He got into coaching when the owner sold the company, working as an assistant coach at Benedictine High School in Richmond.[1] He got his first job in the college ranks at Hampden–Sydney College in 1997 as a graduate assistant, working with the defensive line and linebackers. He was named the defensive coordinator at Siena College in New York in 1999, and was promoted to head coach in 2000. At the time of his promotion, he was said to be the youngest head coach in Division I football at 26.[2] After the football program was shut down in 2003, he joined the coaching staff at Richmond in 2004 as their assistant secondary coach, on a coaching staff that had future college and NFL assistants, such as Mike Elko, Patrick Graham, and Marcus Satterfield. He also had assistant coaching stints under Pete Lembo at Lehigh, Elon, and Ball State.[3]

Army

Bateman was named the defensive coordinator at Army in 2014. He was suspended in 2017 when it was revealed that he had received improper information from former Wake Forest radio announcer Tommy Elrod.[4] In addition to the suspension, he was also fined $25,000 and forced to attend an ethics training program.[5]

Bateman was named a finalist for the Broyles Award in 2018, the award given to the top assistant coach in college football.[6] In his tenure with Army, he improved the Black Knights defense from 91st overall in 2014 to 8th in the country in 2018.[7]

North Carolina

Bateman was named the co-defensive coordinator and safeties coach at North Carolina on December 9, 2018.[8] He and co-coordinator Tommy Thigpen oversaw the position change and development of former quarterback Chazz Surratt into an all-conference linebacker and NFL draftee and brought in several top defensive recruits to the program, being a key player in the Tar Heels' recruiting upswing. After three years leading the Tar Heel defense, Bateman and UNC agreed to part ways after the 2021 season, which featured the worst defensive unit of his tenure.[9]

Florida

In January 2022, Bateman joined Billy Napier's staff at Florida as the inside linebackers coach. [lulz]

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jay_Bateman

So he went from working at a paper company into a job that he wasn't qualified for and then proceeded to fail spectacularly at for multiple stops?

MV5BNDM5MTA2MzEwNF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwNDA3

  • Popular Post
6 minutes ago, RGBIII said:

Literally could have promoted Robinson and let him call plays, kept the recruiting class and team together and if he sucks you fire him next year. Instead they decided to burn it all down for Dwight Schrute

Assistant to the defensive coordinator

57 minutes ago, South Austin said:

Strong to quite strong resume:

Coaching career

After graduating from Randolph–Macon in 1995, Bateman went to work for a company that sold paper machinery. He got into coaching when the owner sold the company, working as an assistant coach at Benedictine High School in Richmond.[1] He got his first job in the college ranks at Hampden–Sydney College in 1997 as a graduate assistant, working with the defensive line and linebackers. He was named the defensive coordinator at Siena College in New York in 1999, and was promoted to head coach in 2000. At the time of his promotion, he was said to be the youngest head coach in Division I football at 26.[2] After the football program was shut down in 2003, he joined the coaching staff at Richmond in 2004 as their assistant secondary coach, on a coaching staff that had future college and NFL assistants, such as Mike Elko, Patrick Graham, and Marcus Satterfield. He also had assistant coaching stints under Pete Lembo at Lehigh, Elon, and Ball State.[3]

Army

Bateman was named the defensive coordinator at Army in 2014. He was suspended in 2017 when it was revealed that he had received improper information from former Wake Forest radio announcer Tommy Elrod.[4] In addition to the suspension, he was also fined $25,000 and forced to attend an ethics training program.[5]

Bateman was named a finalist for the Broyles Award in 2018, the award given to the top assistant coach in college football.[6] In his tenure with Army, he improved the Black Knights defense from 91st overall in 2014 to 8th in the country in 2018.[7]

North Carolina

Bateman was named the co-defensive coordinator and safeties coach at North Carolina on December 9, 2018.[8] He and co-coordinator Tommy Thigpen oversaw the position change and development of former quarterback Chazz Surratt into an all-conference linebacker and NFL draftee and brought in several top defensive recruits to the program, being a key player in the Tar Heels' recruiting upswing. After three years leading the Tar Heel defense, Bateman and UNC agreed to part ways after the 2021 season, which featured the worst defensive unit of his tenure.[9]

Florida

In January 2022, Bateman joined Billy Napier's staff at Florida as the inside linebackers coach. [lulz]

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jay_Bateman

- REAL ARMY

- helped rundown Mack's program (LONG GAME)

- STOLEN from a sitting SEC team

big. boy. football.

Just now, CHEF RIBS W/ THE HAMM YALL said:

Will he go by:

J-Bate

Ja-Ba (Jabba)

Jay-Bae

It’ll be worse. Something juvenile. Something they falsely think is cool yet portrays a sense of toughness. Something everyone on the outside immediately cringes at.

Batman. 

9 minutes ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

So let me get this straight.

Aggy didn't promote ERob because he was a position coach.  They did ask him to coach the bowl game and keep the recruiting class together.  The class turns into a disaster, and he actually took a couple of players with him.

Flash forward two weeks.  They hire a POSITION coach from the only other program that's as big of a dumpster fire as them?!?!

Holy crap. Some of my elementary students have better decision-making skills.

It would appear you have astute grasp of the situation.  They really did all that dumb shit.

I'm betting Mark Stoops would have put together a fairly decent staff (better than the Elk).  Also, Stoops is getting some solid portal guys at Kentucky compared to what the Elk is doing.

55 minutes ago, RGBIII said:

My only regret is we never got to see Sweat and Murphy absolutely destroy Bryce Foster & Co

Every single fucking time I dont think the aggy destruction can get funnier and then they hired a dude who worked at Dunder Mifflin. Holy fuck this is hilarious

 

34 minutes ago, Hookem2147 said:

I am drawing a blank. Who the hell is TJE again?

image.png.0b1ea1ec8c96f76b2da8c11506f7659f.png

 

4 minutes ago, Vertigo said:

So he went from working at a paper company into a job that he wasn't qualified for and then proceeded to fail spectacularly at for multiple stops?

MV5BNDM5MTA2MzEwNF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwNDA3

Damn it, all the office jokes already made but seriously... Is this the assistant to the regional manager?

They tell you that in your darkest hour there will always be some light.  How did we get so lucky to both be in the playoffs and watch an Aggy version of the Strong regime happen before our eyes?  

Even Strong was a passable recruiter with a longer track record of success.  And as bad as his staff was, they are way, way better than this

And remember, this guy is teaming up with the DL coach from that hot garbage Forida defense as well.

8 minutes ago, CHEF RIBS W/ THE HAMM YALL said:

Will he go by:

J-Bate

Ja-Ba (Jabba)

Jay-Bae

The Bate

  • Popular Post
11 minutes ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

So let me get this straight.

Aggy didn't promote ERob because he was a position coach.  They did ask him to coach the bowl game and keep the recruiting class together.  The class turns into a disaster, and he actually took a couple of players with him.

Flash forward two weeks.  They hire a POSITION coach from the only other program that's as big of a dumpster fire as them?!?!

Holy crap. Some of my elementary students have better decision-making skills.

image.jpeg.a467c2a1f2fe62366c02246c1bc9c66d.jpeg

I get THSCA love Elko, but do college coaches not like him or think highly of him?? Only thing I can figure considering his odd choices.

Aren't these type of hire supposed to be able to recruit at least??

I guess all the young up and comers said "Hell No"

Edited by MonkeyDoughnut

31 minutes ago, Hank Kingsley said:

Looch 2 weeks ago. He knew then.

 

5 seconds.

Then I was out.

3 minutes ago, Hank Kingsley said:

Batemen's tweets from yesterday 

 

wonder how many of those guys ask out of the NLI?

edit:

didn't expect to see our old friend Jason Higdon tagged lol

Edited by NoName

37 minutes ago, Huckleberry said:

Holy shit this just keeps getting better.

And I have a feeling they didn't wait 3 weeks because they were looking for people, they waited until today because they knew they were hiring Bateman and wanted to hide it from potential signees. That didn't work to get everyone to sign so now they have to announce it to recruit with him moving forward.

But @satyanash told us that them hiring their defensive staff was going to be really bad for us flipping Evans

36 minutes ago, Fud said:

Bateman power rankings

1) Patrick Bateman
2) Jason Bateman
3) Master Batman
.
.
.
.
.
Jay Bateman

I hope he had Bone with Scylian Rail lettering on his card.  Maybe a watermark if he’s a baller. 

IMG_1122.webp

  • Popular Post

The fact Elko didn't want to announce it before signing day speaks volumes IMO.

Edited by MonkeyDoughnut

22 minutes ago, RGBIII said:

Literally could have promoted Robinson and let him call plays, kept the recruiting class and team together and if he sucks you fire him next year. Instead they decided to burn it all down for Dwight Schrute

I'm not sure Robinson was ever going to stay. I'm not sure the recruits were ever going to stay. That place has been a steaming pile of shit for years, spanning several coaches. For all the "WRTS!" bullshit, there have been lots and lots of red flags including a ton of transfers out. Even when people like Josh Pate have carried their water, a lot of people have seen through the veneer and surely recruits have heard lots of the warnings from different directions. This reminds me of Joseph Ossai waking up and bailing on them several years ago.

Painted on championships aren't real championships. Recruiting championships aren't real championships. 20__ trophies aren't real trophies. Air doesn't actually fill up a "Hall of Champions." Self-declared best fanbase in America and best alumni network in the world are not really the best fanbase or alumni network.

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