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Official "Fuck this stupid ass-commercial" thread


Prepuce of Doom

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The Hotel Collection commercials seem to be expanding, it started with the scent crap and now I've laundry detergent and luggage; all pimped by reality "stars", whom I have no idea who these people are.  They look like giant douchebags, I'm sure they pretty much all are.  We have a completely hollow culture.  

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11 hours ago, shadow_operative said:

fuck every single commercial like this one:

 

from the fact that the target demo seems to be rich people who ice skate and have a grandpa that lives in a multi-million dollar cabin in the mountains that has a frozen pond in his backyard complete with lights strung up in the trees to the fact that this heart strings tugging bullshit has nothing to do with a kia, i megaloathe every single ad like this. 

 

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Is commentary on radio commercials allowed?  The Zyppah commercials I hear constantly on the Sirius XM sports channels need to be nuked from orbit.  Whomever decided that horrible New York accents was a good idea needs to be fucked in the ass with a rusty barbed wire dildo.

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On 3/7/2024 at 9:01 PM, shadow_operative said:

fuck every single commercial like this one:

 

from the fact that the target demo seems to be rich people who ice skate to the fact that this heart strings tugging bullshit has nothing to do with a kia, i megaloathe every single ad like this. 

Car commercials are fucking terrible. The two assholes who are drifting through the city, one car chasing another and turns out they’re playing “tag.”  
The family who drags the elderly parents out into the desert to show them home movies they are projecting on the side of a mountain.  Nothing like dragging your frail, elderly parents into the freezing cold to show them movies they could have seen in their living room.  
Every fucking truck or SUV, even cross over unibody glorified station wagons apparently have to show their owners racing off road, ripping Mother Nature a new asshole.  Show the hole in your oil pan you got while playing King of the Hammers in your Honda Pilot. 

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Big Deodorant has decided it's time to dust-off the 20 year full body spray deodorizer campaign.

If you're not spraying aluminized air freshener on everything from the insides of the elbows to the undersides of sexual organs then you're probably going to die.

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38 minutes ago, smuggs said:

Big Deodorant has decided it's time to dust-off the 20 year full body spray deodorizer campaign.

If you're not spraying aluminized air freshener on everything from the insides of the elbows to the undersides of sexual organs then you're probably going to die.

Seriously...I thought people figured out that if you bathe a bit more frequently, you won't have these odor problems...and maybe change your underwear before going out and about.

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3 hours ago, 83Horn said:

Seriously...I thought people figured out that if you bathe a bit more frequently, you won't have these odor problems...and maybe change your underwear before going out and about.

tenor(5).gif.9a66b73a82ba9baa4b13d56ea5d05194.gif

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4 hours ago, 83Horn said:

Seriously...I thought people figured out that if you bathe a bit more frequently, you won't have these odor problems...and maybe change your underwear before going out and about.

Well la-dee-dah, moneybags over here owns multiple pairs of underwear. Most of us can barely afford groceries.

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On 3/11/2024 at 9:23 PM, Lhorn said:

Car commercials are fucking terrible. The two assholes who are drifting through the city, one car chasing another and turns out they’re playing “tag.”  
The family who drags the elderly parents out into the desert to show them home movies they are projecting on the side of a mountain.  Nothing like dragging your frail, elderly parents into the freezing cold to show them movies they could have seen in their living room.  
Every fucking truck or SUV, even cross over unibody glorified station wagons apparently have to show their owners racing off road, ripping Mother Nature a new asshole.  Show the hole in your oil pan you got while playing King of the Hammers in your Honda Pilot. 

Hey smart ass.  I was conceived out there by that mountain.  It's a special place for my family.

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Car commercials are fucking terrible. The two assholes who are drifting through the city, one car chasing another and turns out they’re playing “tag.”  
The family who drags the elderly parents out into the desert to show them home movies they are projecting on the side of a mountain.  Nothing like dragging your frail, elderly parents into the freezing cold to show them movies they could have seen in their living room.  
Every fucking truck or SUV, even cross over unibody glorified station wagons apparently have to show their owners racing off road, ripping Mother Nature a new asshole.  Show the hole in your oil pan you got while playing King of the Hammers in your Honda Pilot. 

The Hyundai spot where suburban family turns into Viking family ravages nature until the boss calls. The dog changes and the wife is hot. The car is basically the same as everyone else’s vista cruiser.
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11 hours ago, shadow_operative said:

“i wanna dance with everybody who came through that door.”

we’re through 1.25 tourney games and im already:

 

giphy.gif?cid=2154d3d7yrxn7oqtf75rauzxpg

The NCAA tournament is my favorite sports event of the year. But it's going to be a long three weeks of nothing but Capitol One and Wendy's commercials. Prepare thy anus. 

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4 hours ago, HornOnTheBayou said:

The NCAA tournament is my favorite sports event of the year. But it's going to be a long three weeks of nothing but Capitol One and Wendy's commercials. Prepare thy anus. 

Don't forget the overdose of Ludacris in all the Nissan commercials. 

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Dick Law Firm.  "Put our name in their mouth."  He looks more like a car salesman than an attorney - but then I've never met the average Surly barrister.

 

"It's easy getting Dick."  "Better get Dick."

Edited by abuelo gringo
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47 minutes ago, abuelo gringo said:

Dick Law Firm.  "Put our name in their mouth."  He looks more like a car salesman than an attorney - but then I've never met the average Surly barrister.

 

"It's easy getting Dick."  "Better get Dick."

He used to have some that said: "When you need a lawyer, get a Dick"

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On 3/20/2024 at 1:20 PM, Prepuce of Doom said:

Don't forget the overdose of Ludacris in all the Nissan commercials. 

Seriously, who the fuck knows who Ludacris is anymore. What has he done lately that would make him still culturally relevant?

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Posted (edited)
51 minutes ago, Pam Cummings said:

Oh right, I'd forgotten those exist. Play on, Luda.

So what you're saying is you don't know him like that?

Just a heads up - if you make one false move, he'll take you douuuwn. 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom
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On 3/22/2024 at 8:32 PM, ztejas said:

The bargain-bin Bruno Mars "don't let me go" iPhone ad with the pictures singing makes me want to track down a marketing director and strangle them in a sink full of water. 

The Uber Teen commercial with the girl cutting a chunk out of her hair.

Staring Episode 2 GIF by The Office

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Holy shit. Had on the news to check the weather, and this ad that sounded like it was for a Monster Truck Show FEATURING TRUCKASAURUS!…and holy shit. It was for…a church.



Where did he pull the 9 inch nails info from? Not the Bible.
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On 3/24/2024 at 11:39 PM, Brisketexan said:

Holy shit. Had on the news to check the weather, and this ad that sounded like it was for a Monster Truck Show FEATURING TRUCKASAURUS!…and holy shit. It was for…a church.
 

Reminds me of the old Esther's Follies skit...   Sunday, SUNDAY, SUNDAY!!!!  

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Probably already mentioned, but I can't believe that an entire Vrbo ad campaign was approved of the premise of "you have to click one whole checkbox on Airbnb to specify that you want the whole place to yourself, but all of our rentals are unshared...let's beat that into the ground!" 

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