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Alliteration or metaphor contest as it relates to this season and our varying levels of despondence.


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Posted

Moderators Note: This thread is the Brainchild of none other than @closetojumping and Helobious was the first reply so we ran with it. Helobious would never have such a good idea, he deserves no credit, in fact you should probably neg him in this post just for fun. Top Rep gets a prize, if you are local it will be something with me - if you are not I can send you $$

Alliteration:

Steve Sark sucks so surely he should surrender playcalling and salvage some of our season, saving surlyites from suicide. 

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Posted (edited)

Helobious harangues Hector hoping his harassment halts Hector’s hesitant heinous hoovering [of] Hispanic [American Football] Hirelings.

 

 

3 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

Helobious is human version of the 2025 Texas Longhorn Offense. 

Adventure Time GIF

Edited by lilMAC25
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Posted
1 minute ago, Park Gothic said:

Guys. There is literally football on every night for the next two months. You gotta save something for the off-season. 

Neither alliterative nor a metaphor - try again.

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Posted

 

But on this most auspicious of nights, permit me then, in lieu of the more commonplace sobriquet, to suggest the character of this dramatis persona. Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation, stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it’s my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.

 

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Posted
Just now, gofuckyourself said:

How much suck could a surly thread suck if a surly thread could suck suck?

Am I doing this right?

Alliteratively? All…

Posted

Fuming, freethinking, foul-mouthed firebrand Frank furiously flung a flurry of fantastically filthy, full-throttle fucks—furled, feathered, and ferociously fast—at the fickle, flimflamming, flat-footed fiasco of a coach, flipping, fizzling, and face-palming as the frayed, fraud-filled framework of an offensive fixes fell flat; “for fuck’s sake,” Frank frothed, “these flimsy, fault-ridden, fly-blown fumbles and interceptions feel like a forever-fest of fruitless, fubar’d folderol,” before furthering the flood with fresh, feverish, free-ranging, furnace-hot fire fan fury: “fix the freaking failed playcalls, flush the flaky pro offensive features, and forgo the faux-pious, finger-wagging press conference feedback,” he fumed, “’cause I’m finished fostering fairy-tale forecasts from feckless, fainthearted, fair-weather fans,” finally, with a final, full-bodied, floor-rattling “FUCK,” forging forward, fists firm, feet flying, and fearlessly fending off every festering, faithless, failure-prone fragment of that farcical, face-planting, fishy-smelling, fun-sucking fracas of an O-line.

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Posted

Timid Texas Longhorns tackled turbulent transitions, tempered towering expectations, traded turnover troubles, then triumphantly throttled their traditional tormentors, testing tenacity throughout their tempestuous 2025 campaign under tireless teamwork.

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Posted

Texas 2025, towering and terrifying with tippity top thinking Title!

A trip to Florida tilts the table, towards trepidation and terror.

Today and tomorrow, and the tomorrow after that.

Will tell the tale of this Texas team, who thought it, was all that!

 

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Posted

fuck fuck fuck, sonofabitch seeing suck, fuck fuck fuck, orgasmic overthrow of ou, fuck fuck fuck, please prove predictions puffery, clangaclangaclangaclanga

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Posted (edited)
5 minutes ago, immamac said:

fuck fuck fuck, sonofabitch seeing suck, fuck fuck fuck, cold beer, c-pap, couch sleepover, orgasmic overthrow of ou, fuck fuck fuck, please prove predictions puffery, clangaclangaclangaclanga

fify

Edited by orange dream
Posted

Squatting Steve Sarkisian sadly steered the stumbling steers, a sluggish, sputtering squad stuck in squandered Saturdays, suffering shattered spirits and shitastic shots at success beneath the scorching southern spotlight

Posted
3 hours ago, Helobious said:

Alliteration:

Steve Sark sucks so surely he should surrender playcalling and salvage some of our season, saving surlyites from suicide. 😡

Absolutely astonishing alliterative acumen always aligns around an agreeing alphabetic answer. Avoid awful, awkward alterations and achieve amazing auditory appeal. Always appreciate alliteration’s awesome allure! 

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Posted (edited)

Can't seem to create something crazily-silly enough for this commie-Surly thread.  Cause similes versus cultish snark, all I got is Cutty Sark.

Edited by dcbc
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Posted
2 hours ago, scramblyn said:

wait so I can enter the alliteration contest with just saying fuck?

fuck fuck fuckity fuck, fucking fuckity fuck fuck fuck. 

what do I win?

 

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Posted
25 minutes ago, Earl Haffler said:

Death around the corner
Football games in perspective
Scores no longer matter

Haiku-thread-is-that-way-man.webp

 

HAIKU HAIKU!

 

Haiku thread is that way, man!

Posted (edited)

Offensive offense obliterating optimism of online oafs

If you want a metaphor, I think the very first snap where Arch turfed a wide open 20 yard gain to Deandre Moore is going to be hard to beat. 

Edited by gmr548
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