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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do


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Team Dyson, but my wife actually got it on one of those 'Deal Days" or whatever( ask 52-80) and got it for 60%off.

I'm not a pig and clean up after myself.  That vacuum cleaner is light as hell and sucks like no other.  Now the wife on the other hand...

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Buddy sent a text today...said his wife decided to shop vac their fireplace and clean up all the ash. When she finished, she turned around and didn’t realize the shop vac lid wasn’t really seated, so

From earlier this evening...   My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the

Serving #4: as a shot with strawberry jelly I should have used the jelly as a chaser. It was thicker and sunk to bottom so when I took the shot the peanut awfulness came first, which caused me to g

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3 minutes ago, Paco said:

She actually got irritated because, after embarrassing herself at Mazda, she drove over to Nissan and pulled into the service bay like they told her to do when she called.
Service dude says, no you have to go inside to get your plates. So she's annoyed but gets her plates finally.

Then it dawned on her that she had actually called Mazda too.

That last line killed me.

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6 minutes ago, Paco said:

She actually got irritated because, after embarrassing herself at Mazda, she drove over to Nissan and pulled into the service bay like they told her to do when she called.
Service dude says, no you have to go inside to get your plates. So she's annoyed but gets her plates finally.

Then it dawned on her that she had actually called Mazda too.

I'm guessing she said "y'all look alike to me".

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50 minutes ago, nnm said:

We have a fountain in our courtyard. It has minimal upkeep. You only need to put in some bleach every month or so to keep the algae down. No problem. 
Mrs. NNM sees some algae today and goes to get the bleach. Bleach is empty. She thinks “what could kill that algae?  Oh, I know, Oxy Clean!”

 

57C3372B-EFEE-4047-B958-C435B7BBFED0.jpeg

Billy Mays here?

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We have a fountain in our courtyard. It has minimal upkeep. You only need to put in some bleach every month or so to keep the algae down. No problem. 
Mrs. NNM sees some algae today and goes to get the bleach. Bleach is empty. She thinks “what could kill that algae?  Oh, I know, Oxy Clean!”
 
57C3372B-EFEE-4047-B958-C435B7BBFED0.thumb.jpeg.fcfa034702122b17a9c7bbb02b4aa232.jpeg

How’s the clean up in the living room going after the fireplace incident the other day?
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On 1/16/2021 at 8:02 AM, SHOOTER12 said:

Dyson,OK 

Electrolux/Kirby... Fucking rip-off

well fuck me I guess. I bought a Sanitaire (by electrolux) vacuum and a hard wood carry around thing from Sanitaire. Traded in a Riccar that bit the dust

 

 

 

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18 hours ago, nnm said:

We have a fountain in our courtyard. It has minimal upkeep. You only need to put in some bleach every month or so to keep the algae down. No problem. 
Mrs. NNM sees some algae today and goes to get the bleach. Bleach is empty. She thinks “what could kill that algae?  Oh, I know, Oxy Clean!”

 

57C3372B-EFEE-4047-B958-C435B7BBFED0.jpeg

Put this picture on your refrigerator, please. 

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42 minutes ago, markstanco said:
45 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:
Update: humblebragging the fuck out of my 1% neighborhood by taking a daytime pic. Strong flex, sir

Looks like each lot is .4 acres. Not 1%

And no trees. New build in LeanderPark Hill.

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This one is a little bit intellectual, but Mrs CL mentioned to me the other day that she had never read Animal Farm or 1984

I jokingly told her last night that her preteen children are now more well read than she is since they have now read Orwell. 

She responds, "I don't care. That whole War of the Worlds thing was terrible."

"Do you mean "H.G. Wells or Orson Wells, because neither one wrote 1984?"

"Obviously the first guy. Wasn't Orson Wells a fat guy who sold wine?"

I give her half credit on that one answer. 

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My 5 year old daughter out on a longhorn shirt, drew a longhorn then grabbed her stuff beco and some other loosely texas related toys to show me how much loves Texas. My wife then said she didn’t care if she went to a&m. Despite the fact that she is a foreigner, I am considering divorcing her. Jesus fucking Christ I feel like I have failed.

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10 hours ago, Patricio Swayze said:

Wow, I just realized how bad Apple autocorrect is. I am too lazy to go back and clarify my last post. The important part is my wife is ok with my kids being Aggy, if they so choose. I am not. And as long as I am alive, I will fight to not let happen.

The wife and I had this exact conversation and we agreed that we’d grudgingly accept the kids going to aggy if want to be veterinarians since they obviously favor their undergrads for admission.

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5 hours ago, TKthunder2 said:

The wife and I had this exact conversation and we agreed that we’d grudgingly accept the kids going to aggy if want to be veterinarians since they obviously favor their undergrads for admission.

Nah. Show your kids that UCDavis, NC State, Ohio State, Cornell all have higher rated Vet Schools. Even Purdue has a decent vet school.

No aggy. Bad aggy.

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13 minutes ago, Lidig8r said:

Nah. Show your kids that UCDavis, NC State, Ohio State, Cornell all have higher rated Vet Schools. Even Purdue has a decent vet school.

No aggy. Bad aggy.

I know that, but dummies in this state respect an aggy vet right or wrong.  But yes obviously will try to push them elsewhere.  I think Colorado State would be a good spot.

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