Jump to content
Awful horrible bad shit is happening in the USA right now, if you are afraid of your fucking feelings getting hurt this isn't the website for you. ×
SquishMitten

Gettin Laid: 2019

Recommended Posts

Some losers on TOS always started this thread. Didn’t see one here yet, but I wanted to brag about the lazy handy I got from the wife a bit after midnight. Suck it, nerds!

 

*Married life

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Checking in... Finally boned this bartender that I've been after for a couple of weeks.  She sent me a text at 2:30 when she left work.  Came over after having a few shots at the end of her shift.  Knocked it out, got her out by 9, went back to sleep until noon.  My birthday is coming up in 2 weeks so I might make a trip to vegas, NOLA, or PR for something dirt nasty.  Stting the goal at 15 pieces of strange for this year.  I expect it to break down as such:

6-7 girls from random man whore weekends like NOLA or something out of the country.

1-2 girls that hang around for 2-3 months.

6-8 girls that are 2-4 daters where you just stop talking to them after a couple of weeks and bang sessions.

I feel like that will keep me satisfied as well as keep me from chasing pussy non-stop so I can focus on work.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

In. Just after midnight. Been trying to get some more today, but the wife isn’t having it. Told her she’ll just have to watch me jack off then. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
32 minutes ago, Jhawk said:

Checking in... Finally boned this bartender that I've been after for a couple of weeks.  She sent me a text at 2:30 when she left work.  Came over after having a few shots at the end of her shift.  Knocked it out, got her out by 9, went back to sleep until noon.  My birthday is coming up in 2 weeks so I might make a trip to vegas, NOLA, or PR for something dirt nasty.  Stting the goal at 15 pieces of strange for this year.  I expect it to break down as such:

6-7 girls from random man whore weekends like NOLA or something out of the country.

1-2 girls that hang around for 2-3 months.

6-8 girls that are 2-4 daters where you just stop talking to them after a couple of weeks and bang sessions.

I feel like that will keep me satisfied as well as keep me from chasing pussy non-stop so I can focus on work.

A man, a plan, a canal....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
48 minutes ago, 3adays said:

In. Just after midnight. Been trying to get some more today, but the wife isn’t having it. Told her she’ll just have to watch me jack off then. 

Wow.  She’s never turned me down. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Fred Willard said:

Wife is menstrating...for approximately the next 365 days she said.

If that is an obstacle for you, you need to reevaluate 1) your priorities, and 2) your game.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, 3adays said:

In. Just after midnight. Been trying to get some more today, but the wife isn’t having it. Told her she’ll just have to watch me jack off then. 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
35 minutes ago, CooterBrown said:

 


Make a fist and tell her, her mouth ain’t bleeding. Yet.

 

Settle down, Zach. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
8 hours ago, Jhawk said:

Checking in... Finally boned this bartender that I've been after for a couple of weeks.  She sent me a text at 2:30 when she left work.  Came over after having a few shots at the end of her shift.  Knocked it out, got her out by 9, went back to sleep until noon.  My birthday is coming up in 2 weeks so I might make a trip to vegas, NOLA, or PR for something dirt nasty.  Stting the goal at 15 pieces of strange for this year.  I expect it to break down as such:

6-7 girls from random man whore weekends like NOLA or something out of the country.

1-2 girls that hang around for 2-3 months.

6-8 girls that are 2-4 daters where you just stop talking to them after a couple of weeks and bang sessions.

I feel like that will keep me satisfied as well as keep me from chasing pussy non-stop so I can focus on work.

That just sounds....exhausting. (Disclosure: I’m married)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, Rockwell Torrey said:

He is married too.

I was actually supposed to get married at 4:30pm 2 days ago.  Didn't go.

 

11 hours ago, CrownKing said:

That just sounds....exhausting. (Disclosure: I’m married)

It is really fucking exhausting to get laid.  For some reason just going to bars and getting laid doesn't work as well at 34.  Luckily plans always seem to work when you implement correctly.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
20 hours ago, mulletpelini said:

pretty sure I did, too drunk to know for sure though.

Was there blood when you wiped?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Got laid by three different women last week. One was my wife (avatar).

(she knows and highly approves, for any of y’all that aren’t familiar with my posts)

Edited by LTbear

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, LTbear said:

Got laid by three different women last week. One was my wife (avatar).

(she knows and highly approves, for any of y’all that aren’t familiar with my posts)

My new years resolution is to look at more of your photos from such escapades in U in Her B... So get to posting, por favor 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 1/1/2019 at 2:32 PM, Jhawk said:

Checking in... Finally boned this bartender that I've been after for a couple of weeks.  She sent me a text at 2:30 when she left work.  Came over after having a few shots at the end of her shift.  Knocked it out, got her out by 9, went back to sleep until noon.  My birthday is coming up in 2 weeks so I might make a trip to vegas, NOLA, or PR for something dirt nasty.  Stting the goal at 15 pieces of strange for this year.  I expect it to break down as such:

6-7 girls from random man whore weekends like NOLA or something out of the country.

1-2 girls that hang around for 2-3 months.

6-8 girls that are 2-4 daters where you just stop talking to them after a couple of weeks and bang sessions.

I feel like that will keep me satisfied as well as keep me from chasing pussy non-stop so I can focus on work.

This guy f***ks!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
8 hours ago, LTbear said:

Got laid by three different women last week. One was my wife (avatar).

(she knows and highly approves, for any of y’all that aren’t familiar with my posts)

Tom!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just experienced my first ever Finnish sauna. I saw a couple naked chicks. Kind of like getting laid except being naked in front of one another is not sexual here. That is what the manual said for Americans. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The wife and I had an impromptu session last night, first of the year.  I expect my next piece to come sometime in late February if we follow our current pattern.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 1/3/2019 at 12:34 AM, mulletpelini said:

Na, Chip's ass bled enough all season for everyone.

Does Chip have a phone number?  Asking for a friend. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
The wife and I had an impromptu session last night, first of the year.  I expect my next piece to come sometime in late February if we follow our current pattern.


Someone is forgetting their St Valentine’s Day dry handy

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Met up with a gal on saturday night after a round  of golf and the KU game.  She was already a little drunk when I met up with her and another couple (who she randomly met at a bar but wanted to hang with).  Get there and get 3 drinks in me and she being rude as fuck to everyone in the place.  I say "fuck it she's just drunk."  I toss her in the car and we head to a mexican joint for some food.  When we get there she immediately goes to the bathroom while I sit at the bar and some British chick starts hitting on me.  75% of me wanted to tell the brit that my date was in the bathroom but I'll leave with you if we go right now but I refrained.  Date gets back, decides she wants sushi.  In the car we go.  Get sushi, she decides she wants it to go and that we should eat it after fucking at my house.  I'm cool with that but she is a bitch.  We get back to my house and she bags on everything all the way to my apartment and then bags on my apartment the second we walk through the door.  Specifically, she tried to rip down a 8' x 12' american flag I have.  Nope.  I told her to get the fuck out even going as far to threaten that I'm calling the cops.  I get her out of my apartment and start walking to the elevator to show her out.  She isn't behind me.  I go back and she says she can wait outside my door... No bitch.  You'll wait outside the building for your uber.

Let her out the front door, ran to my car out the back and went back to the mexican place to find the brit.  No luck.  Got smashed at the casino.

What in the fuck is up with drunk women being cunts?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 1/6/2019 at 2:26 AM, Telegraph_it said:

I just experienced my first ever Finnish sauna. I saw a couple naked chicks. Kind of like getting laid except being naked in front of one another is not sexual here. That is what the manual said for Americans. 

well then they won't mind my non-sexual boner. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 1/6/2019 at 3:07 PM, Doc Reeves said:

wife wanted to have sex last night, but i was sleeping on sick baby vomit and didn't feel like it. 

#babytwinlife

Baby vomit or not, you gotta seize that opportunity when the window opens.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've been divorced( just once) for almost 10 years and have had more than my fair share of quality tail since then, but only one that I even thought about something long term with. I came very close to marrying her a year or so ago, but things just went to shit after we got engaged. It was tough at first but eventually I felt like I dodged a bullet that things worked out the way they did. I had about decided I'm good with being a single dude from here on out.

So I met someone new on Dec 1 that I've been taking things very slow with, which is not my norm. She is so gorgeous and so fucking awesome in just about every way...I can actually see myself settling down with her for good....more than just thinking about it I must admit. I took her out dancing last night and she ended up staying the night at my house after we got back, which I wasn't expecting her to do. Holy fuck that was amazing. I might just have to hang up the bachelor life for good.

#tl/dr, got laid, might be in love

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


mpu


Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Recruiting ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Help ... For Sale ... Politics ... Board Discussion
×
×
  • Create New...