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Just now, tbone_ said:

Are people not aware of homelessness?

Yeah yeah.  

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    From earlier this evening...   My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the

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34 minutes ago, tbone_ said:

Are people not aware of homelessness?

no one is aware of breast cancer, that's why we all wear pink ribbons.

52 minutes ago, BearSchlong said:

I have a friend when faced with an unpleasant task always says "I'd rather blow a hobo than . . ."

I chortle every time. What an awful task, blowing hobos.

I use “suck off a homeless guy” pretty often, though I use it more as a bartering tool than in the face of dread. I’m not 100% sure when I started it, but I think it was during a KU ass-whipping at a sports bar when I declared (drunkenly) that I’d suck off a homeless guy to have Mark Mangino back.

 

Edited by VolenteHawk

6 hours ago, VolenteHawk said:

I use “suck off a homeless guy” pretty often,

 

I'm sure it's less often than you do it.

Whatever the opposite of goodwill is, that is the only currency wives deal in.

Goodwill???

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On 1/8/2019 at 2:09 PM, Cheeseweasel said:

Well, now I know where I got this fucking cold.

Dayum Mac came in you too?

The stupidest thing on this thread is husbands complaining about their wives cleaning their house. Jesus people, wtf is wrong with you all?!

I think the point is It ain’t cleaning if it ain’t dirty...
43 minutes ago, William_Cannon said:


I think the point is It ain’t cleaning if it ain’t dirty...

Said no man ever . . . cleaning not dirty shit is better than not cleaning anything.

On 1/8/2019 at 4:25 PM, lateshow said:

Again, this is not the humble brag thread.

And an odd one to say the least. 

Said no man ever . . . cleaning not dirty shit is better than not cleaning anything.

Agree marriage to someone with OCD cleaning habits is better than marriage to a slob. However, it’s important to note that these OCD behaviors are a pain in the ass. Yes your house is clean but there are certainly trade offs that make you wonder if they outweigh the benefit. For example, a clean ass kitchen is amazing but not being able to use it because OCD rules are too complex to follow. Or listening to the constant complaining about how no one helps or how everyone is a slob can be a pain too... you can say grow a pair and be the man of the house all you want, but OCD is not exempt from being undefeated... not only that but not all clean freak ocd wives are all created equally. Some may go ape ship over a few things and completely ignore others. I know a few clean OCD wives and it’s not as glamorous as you think. Let those dudes vent without judgement, it ain’t a humblebrag.
My wife has a thing for the floors like it’s a sensory thing. To help me deal with it some level of compassion, I pretend she’s on the spectrum.
7 hours ago, William_Cannon said:

. To help me deal with it some level of compassion, I pretend she’s on the spectrum.

They are all on the spectrum.

23 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

They are all on the spectrum.

I think all of us are.

2 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

They are all on the spectrum.

No doubt.  And a scale.

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2 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:
8 minutes ago, TrashMaster G said:
No doubt.  And a scale.
hot-crazy2.jpg

Still one of the greatest tutorials ever

 

and one of the most accurate. 

Background: wife wants to quit her job.

Me: Hey babe, since I just got this promotion, I think that we can make this work and maybe you can quit your job before the kids gets off for Summer.

Her: Hell yes, I am excited. I got so many ideas and things to do with the kids. 

Me: Can we talk about level setting expectations with regards to the kids and household stuff if you aren't working anymore. I just want to be clear on how things would be different in the future than they are today.

Her: 

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27 minutes ago, Upgrayedd said:

Expectations for more cable repair

He fixes the cable?

I work from home, so expectation is that the cable gets fixed on the regular. 

I never noticed that the crazy axis starts at 4. 


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We travel a lot and often come across pockets with little to no cell phone service. My wife thought she could enable the hot spot on my phone to get wifi on hers.

She straight up believed that enabling the hot spot, when no cell service is available, automatically “gets internet”.

It took several different attempts to explain how it truly works.

Ummm I have no idea how that hotspot shit works and when the hell cellular data is turned on or any of that mess. 30-something yo male... but then again, I was also stumped by the dude berating his wife for not knowing how city grids and addresses are derived. 

1 hour ago, bluto said:

Ummm I have no idea how that hotspot shit works and when the hell cellular data is turned on or any of that mess. 30-something yo male... but then again, I was also stumped by the dude berating his wife for not knowing how city grids and addresses are derived. 

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2 hours ago, Anastasis said:

Background: wife wants to quit her job.

Me: Hey babe, since I just got this promotion, I think that we can make this work and maybe you can quit your job before the kids gets off for Summer.

Her: Hell yes, I am excited. I got so many ideas and things to do with the kids. 

Me: Can we talk about level setting expectations with regards to the kids and household stuff if you aren't working anymore. I just want to be clear on how things would be different in the future than they are today.

Her: 

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LOfuckingL, wife hasn’t really worked in years other than off and on for side projects I have that need some things. That whole discussion has taken place a few times. Supper at a decent time that you cook sure would be nice, nope. Let’s get rid of the housekeeper and you can clean during the 5 days you are home alone, nope. What about the grass or pool, nope. Spend money on shit no one needs, get your nails done with the girls over a nice lunch out, etc is how that really works out.

There are a lot of benefits, but they screw up my premise.

Agree marriage to someone with OCD cleaning habits is better than marriage to a slob. However, it’s important to note that these OCD behaviors are a pain in the ass. Yes your house is clean but there are certainly trade offs that make you wonder if they outweigh the benefit. For example, a clean ass kitchen is amazing but not being able to use it because OCD rules are too complex to follow. Or listening to the constant complaining about how no one helps or how everyone is a slob can be a pain too... you can say grow a pair and be the man of the house all you want, but OCD is not exempt from being undefeated... not only that but not all clean freak ocd wives are all created equally. Some may go ape ship over a few things and completely ignore others. I know a few clean OCD wives and it’s not as glamorous as you think. Let those dudes vent without judgement, it ain’t a humblebrag.

My wife has a thing for the floors like it’s a sensory thing. To help me deal with it some level of compassion, I pretend she’s on the spectrum.

One day I decided I clean for me and my need for a clean house and no one else. My girlfriend has legit bonafides in the slob category. Just took her coffee in bed and returned to the kitchen with 2 moldy cups of old coffee and a couple of used water glasses from her night stand and this was only a two day stack. I pick up her clothes and put them back in the closet several times a week. I throw away her daily used contact cases every morning. The list is a mile long. I don’t say anything. And fair disclosure she told me up front she wasn’t much for picking things up. Toilet paper replacement is the one I laugh at the most. She cannot put new TP on the roll always on the counter.

 

Anyway, I pick up my living room and return it to its order every night before bed so my coffee mornings can be peaceful and I clean my kitchen 2-3 times a day so that at all times I can walk into the center of our living and it not scream “we are out of control” but what I DON’T do? I don’t ask anyone to participate in my OCD and I don’t blame them for their standard of cleanliness that is far below mine. I do make my kids participate in basic chores but their rooms are not cleaned to my standard. I’m mild to moderate OCD or sensory something no doubt.

 

Took a lot of years and ultimately realizing wanting a clean house was connected to wanting a happy life and being pissed bc others wouldn’t clean or keep clean with me wasn’t making me happy, so I decided I do it for me and me only. Now I’m happy and everyone has a maid!! Ha.

 

You're also a doormat for unacceptable basic human behavior.

You're also a doormat for unacceptable basic human behavior.

Not if it doesn’t truly bother me. And on occasion I do ask for help. But I’d rather spend my time standing up for what I need in other places. The balance works.

 

13 hours ago, Anastasis said:

Background: wife wants to quit her job.

Me: Hey babe, since I just got this promotion, I think that we can make this work and maybe you can quit your job before the kids gets off for Summer.

Her: Hell yes, I am excited. I got so many ideas and things to do with the kids. 

Me: Can we talk about level setting expectations with regards to the kids and household stuff if you aren't working anymore. I just want to be clear on how things would be different in the future than they are today.

Her: 

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At least she was up front about it.  In my experience,  they usually just agree to whatever conditions are set and then the mushroom cloud goes off once you remind them of the still unfulfilled terms they agreed to in order to get whatever they already received.

This phenomenom is also known as Corrolary 2 to Briffaults Law-If a woman in a relationship promises a man something in the future in exchange for a benefit received from him today, her promise becomes null and void as soon as the benefit is rendered. 

Wife decided she wanted to make “healthy” blueberry muffins.  

Wife: wow these came out awful!

me:  yeah these really aren’t good

I am now in deep shit for being “such an asshole”

 

18 hours ago, Anastasis said:

Background: wife wants to quit her job.

Me: Hey babe, since I just got this promotion, I think that we can make this work and maybe you can quit your job before the kids gets off for Summer.

Her: Hell yes, I am excited. I got so many ideas and things to do with the kids. 

Me: Can we talk about level setting expectations with regards to the kids and household stuff if you aren't working anymore. I just want to be clear on how things would be different in the future than they are today.

Her: 

200.gif

Tone

And for fuck's sake you olds post the video and give this man his credit:

 

We travel a lot and often come across pockets with little to no cell phone service. My wife thought she could enable the hot spot on my phone to get wifi on hers.

She straight up believed that enabling the hot spot, when no cell service is available, automatically “gets internet”.

It took several different attempts to explain how it truly works.
My wife thought using her Bluetooth headphones used cell data.
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6 hours ago, Anwar Namtut said:
On 1/11/2019 at 11:03 PM, TTU13 said:
We travel a lot and often come across pockets with little to no cell phone service. My wife thought she could enable the hot spot on my phone to get wifi on hers.

She straight up believed that enabling the hot spot, when no cell service is available, automatically “gets internet”.

It took several different attempts to explain how it truly works.

Read more  

My wife thought using her Bluetooth headphones used cell data.

My wife has no clue that there is a difference between wifi and cell data. 

She also asked me if today was superbowl Sunday. For fuck's sake today is Saturday. 

Well, the Super Bowl should be on a Saturday.  

On 1/11/2019 at 9:24 PM, Anastasis said:

Background: wife wants to quit her job.

Me: Hey babe, since I just got this promotion, I think that we can make this work and maybe you can quit your job before the kids gets off for Summer.

Her: Hell yes, I am excited. I got so many ideas and things to do with the kids. 

Me: Can we talk about level setting expectations with regards to the kids and household stuff if you aren't working anymore. I just want to be clear on how things would be different in the future than they are today.

Her: 

200.gif

I'm hoping it went something like...

 

 

10 hours ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

My wife has no clue that there is a difference between wifi and cell data. 

 

I don’t either. In fact I don’t know how any of this tech shit works.

45 minutes ago, Dennis Taylor said:

I'm hoping it went something like...

I look forward to Mrs. Anastasis' adventures in opening a boutique shop.

On 1/8/2019 at 9:57 PM, Trey3216 said:

We were unhealthily drunk on a Sunday afternoon one time and I bought the domain names for hobotheater and hobotheatre .com/.org/.net      The thought process was, we were going to go around big cities with scripts from Shakespeare, big broadway productions and the like, and pay homeless people $25 or so to perform the parts which we would document on video, then use it to help raise awareness for homelessness.  Kind of wish we would’ve done it.   /Wrong thread.  CSB

I so want to neg you for not following through with this.

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My wife is constantly walking around the house turning off lights when she gets hot.  I tell her the light bulbs are not giving off enough heat to cause her to be hot, she needs to turn the air conditioner up.  She believes I am completely full of shit and that by turning off the lights she will be cool and comfortable.  Last night she was complaining about being cold and I told her to just turn on the lights and she should be fine.  Tone.

1 hour ago, UTEX90 said:

My wife is constantly walking around the house turning off lights when she gets hot.  I tell her the light bulbs are not giving off enough heat to cause her to be hot, she needs to turn the air conditioner up.  She believes I am completely full of shit and that by turning off the lights she will be cool and comfortable.  Last night she was complaining about being cold and I told her to just turn on the lights and she should be fine.  Tone.

Admittedly this kinda deserves tone. It's friggin' awesome, but deserves the tone.

  • Popular Post
My wife is constantly walking around the house turning off lights when she gets hot.  I tell her the light bulbs are not giving off enough heat to cause her to be hot, she needs to turn the air conditioner up.  She believes I am completely full of shit and that by turning off the lights she will be cool and comfortable.  Last night she was complaining about being cold and I told her to just turn on the lights and she should be fine.  Tone.


Shit, I'd give your wife credit for turning off a light regardless of the reason.
4 hours ago, UTEX90 said:

My wife is constantly walking around the house turning off lights when she gets hot.  I tell her the light bulbs are not giving off enough heat to cause her to be hot, she needs to turn the air conditioner up.  She believes I am completely full of shit and that by turning off the lights she will be cool and comfortable.  Last night she was complaining about being cold and I told her to just turn on the lights and she should be fine.  Tone.

Do you still have halogen and incandescents?

Even if you don’t, it could be almost Pavlovian at this point. 

7 hours ago, UTEX90 said:

My wife is constantly walking around the house turning off lights when she gets hot.  I tell her the light bulbs are not giving off enough heat to cause her to be hot, she needs to turn the air conditioner up.  She believes I am completely full of shit and that by turning off the lights she will be cool and comfortable.  Last night she was complaining about being cold and I told her to just turn on the lights and she should be fine.  Tone.

That's funny. My response is dramatically different when your wife gets hot and turns out the lights. 

15 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

That's funny. My response is dramatically different when your wife gets hot and turns out the lights. 

 

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