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Urban Meyer or bust

BurntOrange&White

By BurntOrange&White
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Posted by Rimbo,

i was told to post this by my source:    hey @futureman...

Keep up

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Posted by Nicole44,

—————— ‘‘Twas the night before Christmas when all thru the thirsty 40, not a whiff of credible news, what happened to that gal port o potty? The BDE was really hung by the firepit with flare. Surlies guzzling whisky/whiskey waiting for Urban to show up there.  The 9.95’ers were restless spewing their usual nonsense and dread while visions of desperate subscribers twerked in their heads. Nightcrew rocking the hope while the Daycrew rocking the clap, Eltife’s already gathered t

A Christmas Tale worth telling!

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Burt Macklin
Burt Macklin
urbanisnotcominghere
urbanisnotcominghere

Just had to hop on Surly to say that I have never seen so many people setting themselves up for such a huge letdown! I love it!!

immamac
immamac

Can everyone plz retweet this  

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troph

troph 24498

Posted
Posted
Just now, Nicole44 said:

We have the ability to get him. Unless it is so bad he doesn’t want even a challenge. Is it really that bad?

Make that $100 million and TWO thousand dollars. /raises her paddle again.

Unfortunately I think our athletic department is a mess. 

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Rimbo

Rimbo 25705

Posted
Posted
9 minutes ago, Happy Gilmore said:

Say Less 

The Winslow is a small, green, fuzzy, reptilian creature measuring 66 centimeters from nose to tail.

It possesses a rudimentary intelligence, and is capable of speech, although one might as well not bother listening.

The Winslow is indestructible and immortal.

It is also the main focus, or at least a major component of, three quarters of the known religions existing in the Gallimaufry.

The preceding four paragraphs are all that is really KNOWN about The Winslow. Upon this bare framework have been hung the combined irrationalities of the known Galaxy.

The Winslow is worshipped, hated, adored and feared with an intensity that sentients usually reserve for that final five minutes before their sun goes nova.

This depth of feeling is all the more incomprehensible, as The Winslow does not vanquish evil, provide a code of ethics, heal the afflicted, blight the crops, convert the heathen, call down the lightning, corrupt the innocent, eat the moon, answer the phone before it rings, or indeed, display ANY of the fourteen Accepted Signs of Divinity (except, of course, for number fourteen itself, which is: Be The Winslow).

There are endless reasons given why The Winslow is so singularly regarded, but a depressingly large number of these have a circular aspect to them that quickly makes one's head throb (The Winslow is divine because it is the same size, color and shape as the Perfect Lizard of Love, which incidently, is The Winslow).

When all of that sort of reasoning is sifted out, we are left with these three facts:

  1. The Winslow is Indestructible. (This is impressive.)
  2. The Winslow is apparently Immortal. (This is unproven, but at this point seems to be a pretty safe bet, and is also impressive to those races that die.)
  3. Everybody ELSE thinks it's Pretty Damn Important.

It is this last that is The Winslow's greatest asset.

Everybody in the Galaxy has been told that The Winslow is this Amazing Being, which EVERYBODY should want, or at the very least, keep anybody else from having. Take this to its illogical extreme and you get religious hysteria, interplanetary jihads, unspeakable genetic experiments, et cetera, which is not conductive to Business As Usual.

Naturally, if you wanted to put a stop to this nonsense, your best bet would be to go to the most advanced, powerful, and supremely logical beings you could find, show them the wretched creature, and hope that once they had a good laugh, they would talk a little sense into everybody else in an enlightened, Superior Being sort of way.

This might even have worked, except that our local Omnipotent Superbeings, The Prime Movers, declare that The Winslow is the most important being in creation.

They refuse to say WHY, but do mention that it is not for ANY of the reasons anyone THINKS it is.

This is the sort of enigmatic, condescending and totally useless statement that makes a large majority of the scientists and philosophers of The Gallimaufry yearn to pound The Prime Movers' ever-so-superior heads in with a large cosmic tire iron.

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ousux

ousux 5581

Posted
Posted
I'm fully expecting a Aggy-esq guaranteed contract to a man with a history of health issues that bails a few years in and rides off into the sunset with a massive payout.....so fucking pissed.  
If he rides off into the sunset with at least one championship ring with a longhorn on it..and leaves a stacked roster for the next guy, I'd say money well spent.

Still not buying that he's coming though, I'm resigned to one more season of turtle ball with a depleted roster.
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Bevo14

Bevo14 8226

Posted
Posted (edited)
6 minutes ago, LTtxfan said:

So I guess this happens again tomorrow...

23507473-1F33-4752-A651-2383BA570BA3.png

Dammit man. That's the kinda shit that can wait till morning.

Also, who was it that threw out that rumor about Mensa lobbying for the South Carolina job a few weeks ago? That dude(ette) can take a bow i guess.

Edited by Bevo14
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Modessit

Modessit 5586

Posted
Posted
Shit. Saw a text from a peep who knows me on here. Said I’m giving up too much personal information and it’s too easy to figure out who I am. Meaning last name.  Oh well. Fuck it. 
 
 
Most people do this. I'm sure we could dox 80% of the members here (if we cared) based on some of the stuff they mention - including me. Most of us aren't creepy bastards though. Based on my old job, I've probably been in some of the houses of our more wealthy Austin members and neither of us knew we both post here (or the old place).
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ztejas

ztejas 43191

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, Modessit said:
1 hour ago, Nicole44 said:
Shit. Saw a text from a peep who knows me on here. Said I’m giving up too much personal information and it’s too easy to figure out who I am. Meaning last name.  Oh well. Fuck it. 
 
 

Most people do this. I'm sure we could dox 80% of the members here (if we cared) based on some of the stuff they mention - including me. Most of us aren't creepy bastards though. Based on my old job, I've probably been in some of the houses of our more wealthy Austin members and neither of us knew we both post here (or the old place).

Yep. I don't give a fuck who any of you are and I don't give a fuck if any of you know who I am. 

What are you going to do, find people I know and show them Surly screencaps? That would be hilarious. Please do.

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ztejas

ztejas 43191

Posted
Posted (edited)
1 minute ago, Bevo14 said:

Hold up, tree Diddy members get infinite rep?

Yes. And you can edit your posts no matter how old they are, too. (Can also edit titles of threads you've started)

I found this out like a month ago.

Edited by ztejas
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ImissWallyPryor

ImissWallyPryor 9044

Posted
Posted (edited)
3 hours ago, IDIOTsavant said:

 

89b9b216-636a-4d3b-a244-5fb5e5a50327_text.gif

I was drinking beer with some guys back in HS, and one redneck grabbed another redneck’s can of Copenhagen. Before redneck #2 could grab it back, redneck #1 put a pinch in his lip, spit it out, and decked redneck #2. He had filled his Copenhagen can with Skoal. Nobody dipped Skoal at my HS. Unwritten rules and shit. 

Edited by ImissWallyPryor
/csb
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pops

pops 6971

Posted
Posted
4 hours ago, jinx said:

Goddammit!!  I hate every thread on this site right now.  Should I start a new thread for that? Can this admin please shit or get off the fucking pot. Soooooooooooo fucking sick of it.  

Go to day crew. Not what we do in the shadows

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immamac

immamac 42390

Posted
Posted
12 minutes ago, Bevo14 said:

Hold up, tree Diddy members get infinite rep?

You also get 10G of storage and a bunch of other shit like access to discord for gamedays and streams. You get the badge and a few other little things. Also it's guaranteed ad free forever. 

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Bevo14

Bevo14 8226

Posted
Posted (edited)
28 minutes ago, JesusSweatDuck said:

Yes

 

28 minutes ago, ztejas said:

Yes. And you can edit your posts no matter how old they are, too. (Can also edit titles of threads you've started)

I found this out like a month ago.

 

15 minutes ago, immamac said:

You also get 10G of storage and a bunch of other shit like access to discord for gamedays and streams. You get the badge and a few other little things. Also it's guaranteed ad free forever. 

Well the editing feature wouldn't save me anyway now thanks to you guys.  I'll just save everybody the trouble:

200.gif

Edited by Bevo14
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RGBIII

RGBIII 22764

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, RGBIII said:

Well been drinking for awhile. Spray with apple juice when it’s looking dry but if you’re lookin you ain’t cookin. Pour another drink, wrap when internal is about 160

About 160, wrap time and maybe my drunk ass will get some sleep

14E777AD-B201-4A13-A263-B11A2CC82EF0.jpeg

5972982C-5FD7-49BD-9016-48F4862957C8.jpeg

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atomheartbevo

atomheartbevo 89304

Posted
Posted
54 minutes ago, ztejas said:

Yep. I don't give a fuck who any of you are and I don't give a fuck if any of you know who I am. 

What are you going to do, find people I know and show them Surly screencaps? That would be hilarious. Please do.

"Oh, we thought you were spending all your time on the internet looking at porn."

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ClubWhatever

ClubWhatever 12082

Posted
Posted
9 hours ago, jinx said:

Goddammit!!  I hate every thread on this site right now.  Should I start a new thread for that? Can this admin please shit or get off the fucking pot. Soooooooooooo fucking sick of it.  

The Urban thing on top of the season itself has mentally damaged the the fan base.  Not just this site.  Others are pretty toxic too.  We need football Moses to lead us out of the wilderness.   

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immamac

immamac 42390

Posted
Posted
58 minutes ago, ClubWhatever said:

The Urban thing on top of the season itself has mentally damaged the the fan base.  Not just this site.  Others are pretty toxic too.  We need football Moses to lead us out of the wilderness.   

I am here to lead you to coach urban meyer. 

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

Posted
Posted
5 minutes ago, TejasPedro said:

Has anyone checked the fax machine to make sure it is plugged in, turned on. and has paper, not trusting this feckless bunch.

This is a good point, during pandemic...I know I'm checking my postal box with far less frequency.  del Conte should send an intern downstairs to check the P.O. Box.  Urban's acceptance letter is probably down there, probably even notarized.  

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