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Best pick up line ever....


UncleCharlie

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Most of mine come from tinder forums..

The dog emoji one that I put in the PoF forum has me 9/9 so far. 

You remind me of my little toe...

I want to turn the lights off and bang you on every piece of furniture I own

You + that **** colored top = second sexiest thing I have seen.

Her: what is number one

You - that **** colored top

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Back in the 90's I would grab my sister's phone book (gold) randomly flip open a page, dial a number, and ask the girl that answered "where are you taking me tonight?"  It worked a lot more often than I thought it would. 

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4 hours ago, BurntEyes said:

Are you ready to leave, go to my house and fuck?

- applied to random chicks in bars throughout my life.

Around sub 5% success ratio but one victory offsets thousands of losses.

 

4 hours ago, BurntEyes said:

To Ex: You down for a quickie before we head out.

Around 1% success ratio, but that 1 offsets thousands of losses.

This guy understands its all a numbers game.

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8 minutes ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

This guy understands its all a numbers game.

...A game in which you only count hits, not at-bats.  Once you come to that realization, your entire outlook changes.  You start swinging at pitches you never would have tried for before.  Because you get an infinite number of strikes....and you only remember the pitches you drive out of the park.

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24 minutes ago, kopp0e said:

#1 line that confuses the hot chicks: "You ever been fucked like your ugly..?" 

#2 line that leaves an impression on a drunk chick: "Welcome to prime time bitch..!"

 

For the confusing drunk girls...

Let’s flip a coin.  Tails you give me head.  Heads you give me tail.

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...A game in which you only count hits, not at-bats.  Once you come to that realization, your entire outlook changes.  You start swinging at pitches you never would have tried for before.  Because you get an infinite number of strikes....and you only remember the pitches you drive out of the park.
Unless you're Vic, in which case you post about all the times you were hit by the pitch
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1 hour ago, BurntEyes said:

Please note, while it's true that nobody got to fuck Phoebe Kates, only one person ends up getting laid in that film.

Quoting myself:

I like chicks that like me.

3, actually. The dude that popped Stacy's cherry, the dude that knocked her up, and Stacy.

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4 hours ago, elfenix said:
4 hours ago, Brisketexan said:
...A game in which you only count hits, not at-bats.  Once you come to that realization, your entire outlook changes.  You start swinging at pitches you never would have tried for before.  Because you get an infinite number of strikes....and you only remember the pitches you drive out of the park.

Unless you're Vic, in which case you post about all the times you were hit by the pitch

Holy shit.

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Worked at a Mexican restaurant in college.  GM hired this hot, new Hispanic chick.  Guys are all peeking into the banquet room to get a look at her.  Being fluent in Spanish I tell them I’ve got this.

I walk up to her and say, “Hola senorita.  Come esta.”

She replies, “I’m from India you idiot.”

My friends never let me off the hook for that one, though, I did get her and another girl into a threesome several months later.

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The true one is that I pulled the larry eustachey line and told a girl she was way to pretty to go to a school like k-state.  In my younger day I used that one about once a quarter.  The secret was to find something that you are the exact polar opposite on and then make a face like you are really let down.  Then drop "You are way too pretty to....." you get to tell the woman she disgusts you and compliment her at the same time.  It worked probably a handful of times for me with reactions ranging from a huge smile and them fucking me to them feeling insulted but needing acceptance and fucking me.  I used to be so awesome at that shit.

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Way back when I was single:

I'll bet you a dollar I can make your boobs wiggle without touching them, you, or your chair. Ok? Ok. Abra-Cadabra! (Wave hands near tits, then grab tits) Aw, what the hell. It's only a dollar.

Sometimes you'd get a laugh, a number, and a fuck.

If not, at least you got to touch their tits and it only cost you a buck.

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1 minute ago, Modessit said:

Way back when I was single:

I'll bet you a dollar I can make your boobs wiggle without touching them, you, or your chair. Ok? Ok. Abra-Cadabra! (Wave hands near tits, then grab tits) Aw, what the hell. It's only a dollar.

Sometimes you'd get a laugh, a number, and a fuck.

If not, at least you got to touch their tits and it only cost you a buck.

and now you would lose your job and have a court case on your hands for sexual assault. 

 

ah, the good old days.

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On 4/13/2018 at 8:30 AM, AM Wood said:

and now you would lose your job and have a court case on your hands for sexual assault. 

 

ah, the good old days.

Yeah that was the good old days.  I can’t count the number of times I didn’t even need a pickup line.  Just see a girl I was into, grab her ass and usually get a positive response of some form.  Worst case was probably her being interested despite pretending she was pissed.

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Best pickup line I ever heard was said to me in college:

"I can give you a blowjob that will knock your socks off."

I had a girlfriend at the time, so I didn't take her up on it. Obviously, I regret that today.

Won't surprise some of you to know she lived in the Scottish Rite Dorm.

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On ‎4‎/‎9‎/‎2018 at 3:08 PM, elfenix said:
On ‎4‎/‎9‎/‎2018 at 2:51 PM, Brisketexan said:
...A game in which you only count hits, not at-bats.  Once you come to that realization, your entire outlook changes.  You start swinging at pitches you never would have tried for before.  Because you get an infinite number of strikes....and you only remember the pitches you drive out of the park.

Unless you're Vic, in which case you post about all the times you were hit by the pitch.  whale

 

 

FIFY

Edited by pepper brooks
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