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Dumbass Shit on Nextdoor

Sbbruin

By Sbbruin
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TornACL

TornACL 7666

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, Dr Fear said:

This was an odd one I got the other day...

 

Hello neighbor. I had the same one pop up on my feed even though I'm not in Crestwood but just down a few blocks. I enjoyed the guy who replied and said FWPD was setting up a false flag operation. I hope he was trolling, I doubt he was.

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Don’t start no shit, Juan be no shit.

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FriendofaFriend

FriendofaFriend 93

Posted
Posted
15 hours ago, Sbbruin said:

I also see the description of “suspicious”characters in the neighborhood.  The description will be something along the lines of “5’10”, black curly hair, hoodie sweatshirt.”  Intentionally leaving out key descriptors that might really be helpful in identifying said characters.  That would be racist.

Yeah we get a lot of those posts as well (West Houston/Katy area).  One time there was a post about a suspicious person but it actually said African American (since she was too scared to say black?) and what car the person was driving. A couple of posts later the person in question responds saying "Hello, this is your neighbor, the suspicious African American male. I have lived here for over 4 years now. Sorry for scaring you." 

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DaggerHorns

DaggerHorns 3046

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, honolulu horn said:

One of the rare positives I've gotten from NDN is the old guy a block over who posts crazy shit just to get people riled up. I know the guy and he's awesome, and he loves stirring the pot. At one point he reported that the city was going to combat the Japanese beetle infestation by using drones with chemical deployment. He wrote it up in a convincing way, especially if you were a dumbass. The outrage and hand-wringing was awesome to witness.

Dude, I think we live in the same “hood.”

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PencilPusher

PencilPusher 454

Posted
Posted

I am going to enjoy contributing to this thread as I absolutely detest the "NextDoor Ninnies" in my neighborhood. Too lazy to dig back on all the past shenanigans, many flavors of which have already been mentioned in this thread, but I am sure there will be many more entries in these categories. Hoping the entitled millennial wife brigade living in the "gated" section of non-custom homes, the HOA conspiracy theorists, or the "OMG we live in such a crime infested neighborhood because my car was broken into even though I left my car outside with the doors unlocked" people start acting up again so I can reveal their shenanigans in all their glory.

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Jameslaw121

Jameslaw121 4440

Posted
Posted

I swear this was basically mine a couple of weeks ago.

 

- Still have Golden retriever puppy if anyone is looking. Going to have to take it to the pound tomorrow!

- Just checked the pound!!!! No sign of our Golden Retriever Puppy!!!!!

- I can't keep this puppy! Hoping to find owner - Husband says he things its a Golden retriever.

- Has anyone seen my Golden Retriever puppy - I've posted a couple of times already! Desperate!!!

- I still have someones puppy - its brown

- Still missing my brown puppy

- I found a dog - anyone missing one?

-Lost Dog!

 

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Baboontyme

Baboontyme 2806

Posted
Posted
5 hours ago, Baboontyme said:

That duck shit had me rolling. Especially the crosses.

I got kicked off of next door for "not using my real name". I was using my real address and something very close to my real name and had no issues for months but then when one day I made a comment about the busy bodies being "a bunch of old angry white people", and next thing I know my access is gone and I have an email from Nextdoor saying I was banned for not using my real name.

I went to go reactivate my account tonight with my real name due to this thread and they actually sent me an email that I am required to scan a copy of my DL and send it to them for verification. Fuck them. Absurd. 

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GSU&UT

GSU&UT 1798

Posted
Posted (edited)
4 hours ago, FriendofaFriend said:

Yeah we get a lot of those posts as well (West Houston/Katy area).  One time there was a post about a suspicious person but it actually said African American (since she was too scared to say black?) and what car the person was driving. A couple of posts later the person in question responds saying "Hello, this is your neighbor, the suspicious African American male. I have lived here for over 4 years now. Sorry for scaring you." 

That was @Snacks and his gray slacks.

Edited by GSU&UT
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Apep

Apep 645

Posted
Posted
Another thing common on next door is selling old shit for stupid prices . Seen people try to get 50+ for a crt tv, or 400 for a DLP.

People way overvalue shit



My favorite overpriced item was a $400 office chair that might retail for under $100 new.

My Nextdoor isn’t too bad. My suburb requires solicitors to wear yellow vests with badges, which we all know now thanks to Nextdoor. So anyone who isn’t wearing the vest is some sort of criminal.
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EZ$

EZ$ 2102

Posted
Posted

I recently got my lake house set up on the app. Not a humble brag because the house is on the “poor side” of the lake, but apparently has some very concerned citizens.  

I found one post with a bunch of replies about a suspicious guy driving slowly around the neighborhood around 5-6 am. They’ve seen him out a couple times around the same time and some have followed him taking pics of his vehicle and license plate....and posted them. After calling the cops several times and making them run the plates....yup, it’s the newspaper guy. 

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Loose Stool

Loose Stool 112

Posted
Posted
28 minutes ago, EZ$ said:

I recently got my lake house set up on the app. Not a humble brag because the house is on the “poor side” of the lake, but apparently has some very concerned citizens.  

I found one post with a bunch of replies about a suspicious guy driving slowly around the neighborhood around 5-6 am. They’ve seen him out a couple times around the same time and some have followed him taking pics of his vehicle and license plate....and posted them. After calling the cops several times and making them run the plates....yup, it’s the newspaper guy. 

LOL, that was my first thought.  Idiots...

 

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Okie State

Okie State 3747

Posted
Posted

We had a pretty good post this past week about some creep at the local HEB getting off watching women load groceries into their cars.

 

I've had limited success selling things on there, but people are exceptionally cheap. List a chair for $20 and not even a nibble. Update to Free and every person within five miles wants it.

 

 

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AUS-97HORN

AUS-97HORN 11644

Posted
Posted (edited)
On 4/10/2018 at 2:27 PM, Judge Roybeanbag said:

Every time anyone shoots off fireworks in our neighborhood (except 4th of July proper and New Year's Eve), you get the inevitable 3 or 4 "Gunshots!" posts.

 

Ive got the same thing on facebook's neighborhood page.

real conversation from Feb 15th (Chinese New Year) and yeah, Im leaving their names, stupidity deserves ridicule

Quote

Kathy Graves Oh man that reallllly sounded like shots

Vicki Shoenfel Ok WTH was that? 8 sounded like shots somewhere near Burrell/Villanova maybe...

Kathy Graves I heard 9

Katy Morrow I heard at least that many. I’m at Putnam and Teton, sounded like it was coming from closer to 183 area
 
Wesley Bohannon Well police are on the way
 
POSTED AT EXACTLY THE SAME TIME:
Derek Law Just fireworks. On Kromer towards 183.
Alexis Piotrowski How do you know it's fireworks?
Michael Linder because I saw them out my front window.
 
Derek Law Yep it's why I posted. Sounded like shotguns. Didn't want people worried.
 
Kathy Graves  I should have checked first but I’m well versed in gunshots and that was pretty distinct. I am sorry to have caused any trouble for anyone.[/b]
 
Uh No Kathy Graves, you arent fucking versed in gunshots, you wanted to act like you give a shit and create panic.
 
this conversation (with different people) was repeated on New Years Eve, New Years Day, and a few times the week leading up to New Years
 
whole god damned group is convinced we are under attack weekly.    I dont ever respond, I just keep my membership for the lulz
 
*PS all these gunshots that keep going off........I constantly have to stop myself from trolling the shit out these people who keep calling the cops for gunshots........ because no one has found a single shell, nor has there been a single bullet hole in any houses or trees in the neighborhood......
Edited by AUS-97HORN
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Ldogg53

Ldogg53 514

Posted
Posted
21 hours ago, honolulu horn said:

She then hypothesized that perhaps terrorists had taken it. Seriously.

About 5-6 years ago in my hood some lady posted a picture of a beat up cardboard box along the curb in an intersection.  She flipped the fuck out worrying about the box and terrorists and bombs and shit.  This was a pretty mangled looking box that had clearly fallen out of the garbage truck.  About 3-4 people jumped in with her on the paranoia, and then about 20-30 more started piling on making fun of her.  That was a fun day.

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txhorns

txhorns 2405

Posted
Posted
On Tuesday, April 10, 2018 at 2:27 PM, Judge Roybeanbag said:

Every time anyone shoots off fireworks in our neighborhood (except 4th of July proper and New Year's Eve), you get the inevitable 3 or 4 "Gunshots!" posts.

I had people complaining that I was shooting off fireworks last 4th of July.  Probably 15-20 people were on the app complaining about the fireworks going off nearby so late at night.  It was 9pm and I was 2 miles outside city limits.

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uoftorange

uoftorange 1386

Posted
Posted

My favorite recurring one is "who ran over the duck?"  We have had 3 in 8 years here.  There are a stupid amount of ducks in our neighborhood.  And they are freaking fearless when walking across the street at all times day or night.  Lazy fuckers can fly and still walk across traffic.  Each time the duck was found in the morning dead or hurt and you should have seen the insanity when it happens.  "Ducks are living souls"  "Ducks have feelings, why can't you people just slow down" "Crazy drivers have KILLED MULTIPLE DUCKS, when are you IDIOTS going to learn to slow down???"

But the absolute best part?  One of the ladies who complained the most hit the last duck that was killed.  schadenfreude at it's best.  You could feel her crying through the screen as she is admitting what she did.  "I was only driving 20!  It jumped out of nowhere at 11PM at night.  I'm so sorry!!"  Yeah no shit lady, it's a dumbass duck, that's what they do.   

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Jerry Callo

Jerry Callo 8646

Posted
Posted

A couple weeks ago there was a reported attempted abduction of a child.  Turned out to be a false report, but Nextdoor had plenty of theories in the meantime.  My favorite was the guy that suggested that extra scrutiny should be directed at "the renters."   Oh, that started a shit storm with the renters and former renters.  I couldn't tell if he was serious or just trolling, but it was enjoyable.

A week or so ago, a lady posted pictures of footprints she noticed at the park behind the neighborhood with her obvious conclusion that it was a mountain lion.  WTF?  The park trails that people walk big dogs on all day - but these footprints were a deadly, large cat.

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Cheeseweasel

Cheeseweasel 26437

Posted
Posted
19 minutes ago, uoftorange said:

My favorite recurring one is "who ran over the duck?"  We have had 3 in 8 years here.  There are a stupid amount of ducks in our neighborhood.  And they are freaking fearless when walking across the street at all times day or night.  Lazy fuckers can fly and still walk across traffic.  Each time the duck was found in the morning dead or hurt and you should have seen the insanity when it happens.  "Ducks are living souls"  "Ducks have feelings, why can't you people just slow down" "Crazy drivers have KILLED MULTIPLE DUCKS, when are you IDIOTS going to learn to slow down???"

But the absolute best part?  One of the ladies who complained the most hit the last duck that was killed.  schadenfreude at it's best.  You could feel her crying through the screen as she is admitting what she did.  "I was only driving 20!  It jumped out of nowhere at 11PM at night.  I'm so sorry!!"  Yeah no shit lady, it's a dumbass duck, that's what they do.   

We have NO DEAL with the ducks!

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Judge Roybeanbag

Judge Roybeanbag 11771

Posted
Posted

One on mine from a couple weeks ago.  Look out, we have a badass!

 

Quote

That sucks, Sean. If you ever need a little extra muscle, I'm right down Brodie. We had some weird dude with a flashlight shining it on my wife from about 25 feet away on the sidewalk as she was adjusting our Christmas wreath on our front porch around 10 pm in late December. Kinda checking her out in a creepy sort of way, I guess. She came to get me, I ran out ready to confront the guy, at a minimum, but no sign of him. Then a few weeks later, someone was flashing some sort of light into our front windows, which are not very close to the sidewalk. By the time I got downstairs, whoever it was had left. Then, a few weeks ago, some guy with a female companion (wife?) and a dog were shining flashlights into our front windows. My wife came to get me, thinking it was the same weird guy. I ran out there and asked them why they were shining flashlights into our home, and as it turns out, under the bushes around our house and into the second floor windows on the side. Again, weird, but what was really odd was that the guy went from 0 to 100 on the faux-rage scale and began screaming about it being a public sidewalk. He is/was a jerk. He was trying to do the bully thing, and failed miserably. I asked them nicely several times, and then firmly several more times to stop shining flashlights into our home's windows. He was trying to do the "hold me back" bit with his wife, but I wasn't fazed. I told them, asking once more quite firmly, to cut it out, and then went back inside. I did not call the police, as I handled the situation myself. If he had come at me, I would probably have taken him down in about 15 seconds or less, as he looked somewhat inebriated and out of shape and all bluster. Haven't seen him since. Hate to think he was casing the house, but if he was, his cover's blown now.

 

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jimmyjazz

jimmyjazz 45426

Posted
Posted

When we built our house a few years ago the guy on the corner had been there since 1958 -- his Mom was the original owner and he inherited it.  He was some kind of retired cop, and a very conspiracy-friendly guy.  Our conversations always centered on one of two topics:

1.  the new bridge over the creek was not adequately designed and he was measuring erosion on a monthly basis

2.  if I wanted he could include me in the secret neighborhood group making plans for an ISIS invasion, which (shhhh) included stacking all of our cars at either end of the neighborhood so the Mooslems couldn't get through.

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uoftorange

uoftorange 1386

Posted
Posted
35 minutes ago, jimmyjazz said:

2.  if I wanted he could include me in the secret neighborhood group making plans for an ISIS invasion, which (shhhh) included stacking all of our cars at either end of the neighborhood so the Mooslems couldn't get through.

I think you know what has to be done...

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Baboontyme

Baboontyme 2806

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, jimmyjazz said:

I'm heading home to rename my wifi network right now.  Suggestions?  I'm thinking "Cul de Ballsack".

Maybe something like "pEyeRowmaineea" and you could start leaving suspicious half burned brushpiles in neighbor's yards at night. Then all you have to do is log in and enjoy. 

Either that or "ikillducks".

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honolulu horn

honolulu horn 6156

Posted
Posted

"Hi Neighbors, I was walking dogs around the park today and noticed strange looking dough or bread balls placed all around the parameter of the park. They all looked the same and were saturated with something?! Very suspicious and my first thought was maybe the were bait or poison. I've contacted both non emergency police and parks and recreation."

 

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honolulu horn

honolulu horn 6156

Posted
Posted

"I had two separate encounters within minutes late this afternoon at the park with men who own aggressive dogs. The first man was merely an Entitled Jerk, while the second one was an Entitled AND Threat-Making Jerk. If you control your dog, great. If not, I'll be the "Crazy Bitch" (as I was so lovingly called today) who'll be taking photos/videos of those owners and their dogs and turning that info over to Animal Control. I'll also be calling Animal Control tomorrow to ask them to step up patrols of the park, and I'll be purchasing and carrying pepper spray or mace starting tomorrow just in case. I'll also be turning in the photos/video I took of Threatening Man and his license plate to the police."

Seems like "Crazy Bitch" is an accurate read on this woman. I don't like dogs off leash in the park either, but I ain't taking photos of them, license plates etc. She posts about once a week on this same topic. What a miserable life.

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