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Official 2021 Bitch about family/Holiday Insanity


GhostOfTomJoad

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I’ve got a buddy who eats Granny Smith apples with sharp cheddar. He would eat this.

This is also the same guy that volunteered to be shot bare-chested by a paintball gun at full velocity from point blank range when we were kids, so take it with a grain of salt.

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Don't get too close to him when you ask...he'll likely try and cut you for the sacrilege.

No mofo in their right mind messing up hot apple pie with fuckin kraft cheese. 

You can put whipped cream or vanilla ice cream but cheese is some inbred Amish shit that the rest of the world don't need to know about...like the sister fucking. Yuk.

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We're hosting this year with the new house. Neither of us feel much like cooking so the wife decided to outsource this year to the local religious nuts that run Homestead Heritage (super nice people though). I just got the damn bill for $240+ tax for the 6 of us for Turkey, Potato Casserole, Cornbread, Green Bean Casserole, and Pumpkin Pie.

 

 

If they hadn't torn down the damn Luby's then I would've had more pics of the worst of humanity waiting 1.5 hours for Luby's Thanksgiving. 

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First job was cashier at a diner/restaurant type place in a smallish Central Texas town. I was responsible for stocking and cutting the various desserts in the display case. I’d say the majority of people who went with a slice of cheese on the apple pie we’re older folks. I’d say if I cup up 10 slices, one of those was gonna come with a request for a slice of cheese. Damndest thing

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2 hours ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

My first job was at Bill Miller BBQ (store #19...183 and Balcones; there's a lube joint there now). I started on Memorial Day weekend. I had no idea what was to come 6 months later. The weekend before Thanksgiving I was told "whenever you're not slicing meat or washing dishes you're gonna assemble boxes." WTF? I'd just moved here from Minnesota. Nobody bought Thanksgiving dinners. I think it was $30 for a "smoked" turkey, pie and a couple shitty sides. At one point a solid third of the tables in the back were moved out of the way for the prepped dinners. 

It was hell, but my birthday fell on Thanksgiving that year and my reward for working late the night before was a beej from Kirsten, the cashier, in my '79 Le Baron in the parking lot of the old Skaggs Alpha Beta across the parking lot.

 

so many questions .............

1. is the salsa made in store ? it's damn good

2. any secrets to the wonderful tea ?

3. do people actually order the bbq ?

4. comment : their chicken fried steak is sneaky good 

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I lived in Kansas City for 12 fucking years, probably attended 15+ Turkey day meals ( had to do 2 a few times over the years) and 10+ Christmas meals there and  i've never seen nor heard of this abomination posted on this page. 

 

who in the fuck wants cheese on their pie

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6 hours ago, burntorangebongos said:

I love sharp cheddar and raw apples. Love to pair that with wine too. That don't mean it goes on apple pie. Some people need Jesus. 

Sorry for the derail, but take pics of your cheesed apple pie and put it in the Vic Food thread. I seriously need to see what the fuck, man.

Don't put it in the Vic thread because I won't see it then.  Start a new thread and include a poll.  My fist inclination is that apple pie goes only with vanilla ice cream, but I do love green apples with some cheese.  I bought some green apples tonight to eat with some sharp cheddar this weekend.  I may actually enjoy the cheese with the apple pie as I have more of a savory pallet than a sweet one.

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7 hours ago, tx 3 putt said:

 

so many questions .............

1. is the salsa made in store ? it's damn good

2. any secrets to the wonderful tea ?

3. do people actually order the bbq ?

4. comment : their chicken fried steak is sneaky good 

I worked there in '87 so it was very different then. They paid $4/hour which was 50 cents more than the kids across the street at McDonalds. The store manager (Mr. Strange...5' tall and damn near as round) hired the hottest looking high school girls he could to work up front. They got an extra 25 cents an hour for "forgetting" to button their top button on their uniform so the male customers could stare down their shirts when going through the line. At that time, all of the food came from the commissary in San Antonio. The only thing made in the store was hash browns, cole slaw, fried chicken and the tea. I hated their tea, BTW. As far as the secrets to making it, a shit ton of  pure cane sugar. The cashiers/line girls always bitched about having to clean the urns out at night because of the 6" of sugar in the bottom.

Some people really loved their BBQ, but other than their brisket sandwich I never ate it. The chop beef sandwich was made from the fat trimmings from the brisket. It was stored in a 30 gallon trash can in the cooler & when it was full it got shipped back to SA, was mixed with some meat and sauce and came back as the chopped beef. Rumor was they got busted by some state agency who told them if they didn't increase the amount of meat in the product they wouldn't be able to sell it as chopped beef. They reportedly didn't want to make the adjustment & considered just selling it as the "chopped sandwich", but gave in.

I worked there a year and when I quit to start at UT (and a job as a night janitor paying $6.50/hr...high cotton back then when tuition was cheap), Mr. Strange tried to talk me into staying and going through their management program. He told me that he was the best worker he'd ever hired, and in "3 or 4 years you could be assistant manager. Maybe have your own store by the time you're 30!"

Somehow I resisted his sales pitch. The only time I've eaten there in over 30 years is to get some breakfast tacos which are surprisingly good. They didn't offer breakfast when I worked there.

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18 hours ago, Al_4_ISU said:

I’ve got a buddy who eats Granny Smith apples with sharp cheddar. He would eat this.
 

This i understand and to me is different.

17 hours ago, burntorangebongos said:

I love sharp cheddar and raw apples. Love to pair that with wine too. That don't mean it goes on apple pie. Some people need Jesus. 

This.  Apple pie is not just the apples but the sweet filling besides the apple.  Furthermore, I'm not opposed to dutch apple its just too sweet imo.  Double crust is not sweet enough and too much crust.  Lattice is perfect.  I probably do need help.  Jesus take the wheel.  

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19 hours ago, Al_4_ISU said:

I’ve got a buddy who eats Granny Smith apples with sharp cheddar. He would eat this.

This is also the same guy that volunteered to be shot bare-chested by a paintball gun at full velocity from point blank range when we were kids, so take it with a grain of salt.

Good share, cheese slices (not melted, and the real stuff) on an apple slice is great as well. 

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Am i the only one with some hope that some of the few posters that most of us have on ignore will, for once, make a decision to post in a thread some of us might be able to bare their bullshit?  Surely they have a million stories and reasons of how and why they ended up the way they did.  Not gonna name names....  

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44 minutes ago, Longboard Horn said:

Cheese on apple pie talk not going away….

c’mon y’all… this is a place where we vent and bitch about how much we hate in-laws and other family members and share miserable yet funny stories. I don’t mind desert talk every now and then, but where is all the fucking hate?! 

We're like two weeks out from the gatherings.  Patience.

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33 minutes ago, RollLeft said:

Am i the only one with some hope that some of the few posters that most of us have on ignore will, for once, make a decision to post in a thread some of us might be able to bare their bullshit?  Surely they have a million stories and reasons of how and why they ended up the way they did.  Not gonna name names....  

I have myself on ignore and have never been invited to my own holiday events.  Is that anything?

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17 hours ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

My first job was at Bill Miller BBQ (store #19...183 and Balcones; there's a lube joint there now). I started on Memorial Day weekend. I had no idea what was to come 6 months later. The weekend before Thanksgiving I was told "whenever you're not slicing meat or washing dishes you're gonna assemble boxes." WTF? I'd just moved here from Minnesota. Nobody bought Thanksgiving dinners. I think it was $30 for a "smoked" turkey, pie and a couple shitty sides. At one point a solid third of the tables in the back were moved out of the way for the prepped dinners. 

It was hell, but my birthday fell on Thanksgiving that year and my reward for working late the night before was a beej from Kirsten, the cashier, in my '79 Le Baron in the parking lot of the old Skaggs Alpha Beta across the parking lot.

Due to Covid we got ours from Bill Miller last year and it was so good we are doing it again.  It's good turkey and dressing.  The gravy and rolls are good too.  We do our own mashed taters and other sides, but for the price it's a no-brainer if you don't want to cook.

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17 hours ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

My first job was at Bill Miller BBQ (store #19...183 and Balcones; there's a lube joint there now). I started on Memorial Day weekend. I had no idea what was to come 6 months later. The weekend before Thanksgiving I was told "whenever you're not slicing meat or washing dishes you're gonna assemble boxes." WTF? I'd just moved here from Minnesota. Nobody bought Thanksgiving dinners. I think it was $30 for a "smoked" turkey, pie and a couple shitty sides. At one point a solid third of the tables in the back were moved out of the way for the prepped dinners. 

It was hell, but my birthday fell on Thanksgiving that year and my reward for working late the night before was a beej from Kirsten, the cashier, in my '79 Le Baron in the parking lot of the old Skaggs Alpha Beta across the parking lot.

damn-sluts.gif

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3 hours ago, Longboard Horn said:

Cheese on apple pie talk not going away….

c’mon y’all… this is a place where we vent and bitch about how much we hate in-laws and other family members and share miserable yet funny stories. I don’t mind desert talk every now and then, but where is all the fucking hate?! 

 

 

also, things I don't hate : your mom !

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6 minutes ago, Bevo&Pevo said:

Gotta watch out, mom may have her own cheese.

My paramedic son-in-law has some horror stories. One is about the boob cheese that fermented under the folds of a morbidly obese woman. He gags just telling the story, and he’s seen some pretty heinous stuff. He says the smell is indescribable. 

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On 11/11/2021 at 6:11 AM, GhostOfTomJoad said:

I worked there in '87 so it was very different then. They paid $4/hour which was 50 cents more than the kids across the street at McDonalds. The store manager (Mr. Strange...5' tall and damn near as round) hired the hottest looking high school girls he could to work up front. They got an extra 25 cents an hour for "forgetting" to button their top button on their uniform so the male customers could stare down their shirts when going through the line. At that time, all of the food came from the commissary in San Antonio. The only thing made in the store was hash browns, cole slaw, fried chicken and the tea. I hated their tea, BTW. As far as the secrets to making it, a shit ton of  pure cane sugar. The cashiers/line girls always bitched about having to clean the urns out at night because of the 6" of sugar in the bottom.

Some people really loved their BBQ, but other than their brisket sandwich I never ate it. The chop beef sandwich was made from the fat trimmings from the brisket. It was stored in a 30 gallon trash can in the cooler & when it was full it got shipped back to SA, was mixed with some meat and sauce and came back as the chopped beef. Rumor was they got busted by some state agency who told them if they didn't increase the amount of meat in the product they wouldn't be able to sell it as chopped beef. They reportedly didn't want to make the adjustment & considered just selling it as the "chopped sandwich", but gave in.

I worked there a year and when I quit to start at UT (and a job as a night janitor paying $6.50/hr...high cotton back then when tuition was cheap), Mr. Strange tried to talk me into staying and going through their management program. He told me that he was the best worker he'd ever hired, and in "3 or 4 years you could be assistant manager. Maybe have your own store by the time you're 30!"

Somehow I resisted his sales pitch. The only time I've eaten there in over 30 years is to get some breakfast tacos which are surprisingly good. They didn't offer breakfast when I worked there.

 

less about the shitty food, more about Kirsten the cashier please.

 

 

So, my mom, who is pretty trumpy but is vaxxed, has decided not to have christmas this year because one of my sisters, and her husband, refuse to get vaxxed. Apparently my other sister who works in a hospital is pissed about that, and my third sister, who is a physician's assistant with a doctor husband (both who deal with dying anti-vaxxers daily) and has two kids who are too young to get vaxxed refuse to go if the anti-vaxxer sister is there. My mom just decided to say "fuck it" instead of dealing with all that drama. 

I'm calling that a win for me, but a loss for this thread. Sorry/not sorry guys.

 

 

 

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On 11/8/2021 at 3:07 PM, Js1 said:

Well my sister called yesterday to tell me that recently widowed mom (not even been 6 months) is seeing a new guy (yeah I get it, she's in her 60s now and doesn't want to be alone) and this guy wants to host the holidays at his house.  My sister has met him twice and I've never met him because I'm still in Denver.  

They all had lunch yesterday for my oldest nephew's 15th birthday.  Basically:

  • He wants us all to come over to his house in The Woodlands and spend the WHOLE FUCKING DAY there
  • My sister, who lives in Clear Lake, was like, yeah I really can't, I have a dog and a teenager and a 1 year old.
  • New guy offers to have a limo pick her up in Clear Lake and drive them to The Woodlands.  Sister reiterates she has a dog at home and can't leave it that long.
  • Dude offers to hire a dog sitter so they can stay all day and even stay the night and have a limo drive them back on Friday.
  • And he gave my 15 year old nephew $200 cash for his birthday.

This all rubs me the wrong way.  It's the first holiday in a decade without my stepdad, who died from cancer in May of this year.  I missed the holidays last year because of COVID, so I don't really want to do anything with this new guy.  Now I have to figure out how to call my mom and be like "I'm not going to this thing.  If you want to, that's fine.  But I am not coming back home to be uncomfortable at some dude's house." 

I'm also staying at her house for 10 days between my moving back and when I move into the new place.  I fully expect that to be awkward and icy once I put my foot down.  I just wanted a quiet holiday with my mom, my sister and my 2 nephews and the obligatory "eat and run" appearance at my dad's. 

How does your mom feel about all of this?  If you haven't discussed it with her, try to look at it from her point of view and the point of view of the new guy trying to get your mom through the first holiday season since loosing her husband.  Maybe new guy is just trying to take any holiday hassles off of your mom's plate.  Maybe your mom expressed that she just wanted to spend the day with her family and he is trying to make that happen.  I would err on the side of spending the day with mom on Thanksgiving.  Just a thought.

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2 minutes ago, Jerry Callo said:

How does your mom feel about all of this?  If you haven't discussed it with her, try to look at it from her point of view and the point of view of the new guy trying to get your mom through the first holiday season since loosing her husband.  Maybe new guy is just trying to take any holiday hassles off of your mom's plate.  Maybe your mom expressed that she just wanted to spend the day with her family and he is trying to make that happen.  I would err on the side of spending the day with mom on Thanksgiving.  Just a thought.

She hasn't approached me about it, which I find weird.  But I've been busy trying to get packed up so I haven't had a chance to talk to her in detail about it.  My sister and I were already planning on handling everything for Thanksgiving. 

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On 11/12/2021 at 4:56 PM, Jerry Callo said:

How does your mom feel about all of this?  If you haven't discussed it with her, try to look at it from her point of view and the point of view of the new guy trying to get your mom through the first holiday season since loosing her husband.  Maybe new guy is just trying to take any holiday hassles off of your mom's plate.  Maybe your mom expressed that she just wanted to spend the day with her family and he is trying to make that happen.  I would err on the side of spending the day with mom on Thanksgiving.  Just a thought.

New dude is trying too hard but trying in a good way. I’d suck this one up and go. Call your sister and tell her the dog excuse is weak. 
 

Try to talk to the guy a bit and put him at ease, let him understand he doesn’t need to give out cash and book limos, he just needs to be nice to your mom and be cordial to the rest of you. It’s not him, it’s you— really, and that’s fair because you’re mourning and there’s no right way to do it. 

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