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My Timeline is All F'ed Up


Ghost of LL

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8 minutes ago, atomheartbevo said:

When you make a joke about something over Macho Grande or get into a discussion about Hall and Oates and a lot of people understand it and want to discuss it,,,,

I'm old enough to remember when Hall and Oates came out. Being a country kid, I actually thought their name was "Haulin' Oats". I was puzzled that they didn't really sound country.

CHIEF

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5 hours ago, Gatorubet said:

The harsh reality of my age hits me when I see photographs of the hot young women I used to bang/lust over.  

I recently saw pictures from my 50th high school reunion. I did not go.  There was a short clip of what looked to be a bunch of octogenarian women doing line dances. Those were my classmates. FML.   

 

Daguerreotypes not loading.

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35 minutes ago, Gatorubet said:

Not really. Not looking for re-branded hookers. 

Most are. Some are just nice girls going through a rough time and need a bit of help, like food. You posted, Surly answered. 

Shit man, just move to Latin America. Dive all you want AND have hot young women around who won't have any idea what you are talking about. 

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34 minutes ago, CHIEF said:

I'm old enough to remember when Hall and Oates came out. Being a country kid, I actually thought their name was "Haulin' Oats". I was puzzled that they didn't really sound country.

CHIEF

Haulin' Oats will be the name of my Rockabilly Punk band.

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10 hours ago, Biff Tannen said:

It trips me the fuck out to think that my dad was my current age in 1991. 

Yea, I do NOT like that in many of my childhood memories, my dad was my age, if not younger than I am now. He always seemed old as fuck.

This really struck home when my wife and I went to USVI for our babymoon a couple years ago. I realized my dad was the same age when my parents did a Virgin Islands trip and left us kids at home with friends. I can still see the snorkel ID guide they brought back for me. 

Heading to college still feels like it should be 2/3 into my life, not the midpoint. 

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Caught up on the rest of the thread. I didn't mean to throw my relative youth in your wrinkly faces. I really do feel like a switch turned somewhere in my early 30's.

I had delusions of still being a young adult as I entered the pandemic a baby-faced 32 year-old. Fast forward a couple of years and it seemed I re-entered the world suddenly middle-aged.

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59 minutes ago, longhornmatt said:

He means a site for young women whose daddy issues are that their fathers raised them to be too frugal, low maintenance, and genuinely attracted to balding overweight middle aged guys not as a byproduct of any trauma.   

Oh, like I want to be the daddy that causes the trauma.

 

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2 minutes ago, MissingInAction said:

Oh, like I want to be the daddy that causes the trauma.

 

Wouldn't let THAT stop me. I know for a fact I'm responsible for AT LEAST one girl's serious issues. If not two.

 

Edit: Oh. I guess they're not "girls" any more. They're 40/50somethings now. FUCK!

Edited by Rimbo
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1 hour ago, longhornmatt said:

To rub more salt in the wound for the GenX crowd:  it's been 25 years since Ricky Williams won the Heisman and Bill Clinton was impeached.  We all probably remember that like yesterday, right?  Now think back to 1998.  Twenty-five years before that was Watergate.   Earl Campbell winning the Heisman was in 1977.  Think of how Earl Campbell and Watergate were ancient history to your 1998 self.  You're welcome.

Anyway, the evolution of these message boards is pretty illustrative of where most of the users are, particularly the - ahem - NSFW portions:

1. Original Hornfans Austin 3:16:  Pro Wrestling!   Cool!

2. Fully-formed Hornfans Austin 3:16:  Holy shit, we can have sex with women?  This changes everything!

[Fast forward]

3. Shaggybevo:  Hey, check out this group of hot college girls!  I mean, yeah, maybe we're a little older, but it's not creepy ... right?  Right?

4. Surlyhorns:   Need advice on my divorce and my hip replacement.  Can give you my fax number via PM to discuss offline.

The first time I felt really “old” was tuning into an NFL game and every player being younger than me. 
 

The first time I felt super gotdam old was when I went back to a football game and joined my grad school’s tailgate for a few beers with the professors I stayed in touch with and one of the students asked me whose dad I was. I was still on the left side of 40 at the time and took great umbrage. 

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4 hours ago, StassneyHorn said:

In 2004-2007 girls were wearing tight paints and low rise jeans every day. Every single day you got to see thong, like in Superbad.

Now every girl dresses like a shitty Billie Eilish knock off

We had this foreign exchange chick from Brazil my senior year who wore a thong bikini to the pool and it was a huge scandal at school the next day. Now all of the girls wear thong bikinis and it's no big deal. Teenage me would be so damn jealous.

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1 hour ago, longhornmatt said:

He means a site for young women whose daddy issues are that their fathers raised them to be too frugal, low maintenance, and genuinely attracted to balding overweight middle aged guys not as a byproduct of any trauma.   

Thai?

you have a passport, bro?

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16 minutes ago, DaggerHorns said:

I can’t remember where I learned this hack but it works.

I usually take the year someone is talking about, then I subtract it from the current year. The result helps me understand how long ago it was.

It works like every time.

In case you haven't noticed, the olds here can't figure out the year people are referencing.

Someone mentions the TV series Lost.

Surly posters...

Calculate Figure It Out GIF

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3 hours ago, CHIEF said:

I'm old enough to remember when Hall and Oates came out. Being a country kid, I actually thought their name was "Haulin' Oats". I was puzzled that they didn't really sound country.

CHIEF

 

2 hours ago, Francisco 2.0 said:

 

 

 

Ahem:

 

 

 

 

Take this to CR

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Before the super bowl last year(?) maybe two years ago(?), I was talking with a couple of undergrads who were working in the lab I work in, and somehow the conversation turned to our earliest super bowl memories.

I mentioned Hall of Famer Jackie Smith dropping a touchdown pass in superbowl 13 (Dallas vs Pittsburg (Pittsburg beat the Oilers in the AFC championship game)), Dallas having to kick a field goal instead, then scoring two touchdowns in the final minutes only to lose by four points.

Dudes were astonished. "Superbowl 13? Damn you are old."

 

Half the time, I can't remember my birthday, but I remember that game like it was yesterday.

 

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1 hour ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

Before the super bowl last year(?) maybe two years ago(?), I was talking with a couple of undergrads who were working in the lab I work in, and somehow the conversation turned to our earliest super bowl memories.

I mentioned Hall of Famer Jackie Smith dropping a touchdown pass in superbowl 13 (Dallas vs Pittsburg (Pittsburg beat the Oilers in the AFC championship game)), Dallas having to kick a field goal instead, then scoring two touchdowns in the final minutes only to lose by four points.

Dudes were astonished. "Superbowl 13? Damn you are old."

 

Half the time, I can't remember my birthday, but I remember that game like it was yesterday.

 

I was a huge Mark McGwire fan in the late 80's, because back then the 61 homerun record was a huge deal and he hit 49 in his rookie year. He seemed to be the best chance for a historical record in my lifetime. I was in middle school and seriously into card collecting, although that mostly was shoplifting cards from walmart on my wya home from school with my friends. I think I got the entire Topps set in my back pocket at Walmart. Turned me into a A's fan and a bash brother's fan. Had the posters on my wall.

When crippled Kirk Gibson stepped up to the plate in the 88 world series and knocked it over the wall I was heartbroken and punched a dodger friend of mine the next day at school.

I rememeber details of the Oakland A's line up that year, but I'm llucky if I remember my anniversary

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My earliest sports memory was USA being chanted in 1980 for the mircle on ice. DId not understand much about it except that we were essentially the ultimate badasses just by the fact we were americans.

Then an understaning  that the Dallas Cowboys were the best football team ever, which led to a huge haul of Cowboys stuff for christmas 1980, and then my first experience with sports disappointment when dwight clark made the catch.

I blamed myself for that forever, since I didn't watch it. My parents made me go to some kids birthday party at mcdonald's (remember the 80's birthday parties at mcdonald's). We heard the catch on the radio on the way home. I had set up all my cowboys paerphanalia facing the tv in our den. when I got home some of it had fallen down.

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6 hours ago, MissingInAction said:

I was called "Sir" the other day, and liked it.

For the first time it wasn't followed by, "please leave", or "don't touch that".

Wait till you figure out that by being polite and using "Ma'am" is now insulting because you should be using "Miss"

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I've always loved Billy Ocean for some reason. I remember dancing to "Suddenly" with Mrs. CHIEF, in our room naked, on our honeymoon. 

Here is Billy singing it, and this video is 14 YEARS OLD:

He is on my bucket list to see, he occasionally hits the US with a couple of shows, but plays more locally around London. It will probably involve a trip across the pond.

CHIEF

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16 hours ago, atomheartbevo said:

Didn't realize Geraldo Rivera was in a pop group when he was young, but that's another thing.

One can make a joke about and Geraldo Al Capone's vault on Surly, and dozens of people instantly get it.  My friends who are below the age of 35 or 40 never get it.

I get it. It just wasn't ever all that funny. I thought somebody would've told you.

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1 minute ago, Eastwood said:

Most of the users on this site are now older than the main cast of Old School when it was filmed. And as I remember how old they looked to me when I first saw that movie, my day is now utterly ruined. 

The first Lee Harvey's happy hour was 15 years ago. 

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  • 4 months later...

I watched an episode of Caroline in the City on TV Land.

My first thought was Lea Thompson looks cute and I used to have the hots for Amy Pietz. Then I thought, "why do they look so much younger than me, they were older babes"?

So I looked up the show date and it was almost 30 years ago.

 

My brain as the calculations of my age then and now start running in my head.

Wake Up Wow GIF by Offline Granny!

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