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Official "Fuck this stupid ass-commercial" thread

Prepuce of Doom

By Prepuce of Doom
in Movies and TV

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pops

pops 6946

Posted
Posted
11 minutes ago, RamjetFDO said:

They recut the Northwestern Mutual commercial with the sweaty dad mowing the yard and the annoying "DaaaaaadUH!" daughter wanting to be taken to her friend's house.

After he looks up, exasperated, she dances while looking at her phone, rather than the original teenage disgust stomp off screen.

Not really better.

Still annoying.
 

Their adman clearly has cunts for daughters. Same ones behind the readheaded little bitch that is so put out she has to be in Hawaii. I don't know what Northwest mutual does, but I guarantee I will not patronize them. 

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Dennis Taylor
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So, like an OnlyFansville? 

Goo Punch
Goo Punch

man FUCK all of these bullshit-ass holiday commercials trying to tug at your fuckin heart strings like that has fucking dick to do with buying a car or a computer or whatever. this latest one i saw wa

Jameslaw121
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The other day at work, we had about 10-12 people in out lobby - probably 20' by 30' room, but the cleaning crew was trying to finish vacuuming. I was trying to get people out of their way when one of

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NorthLoop

NorthLoop 13906

Posted
Posted
9 hours ago, pops said:

Their adman clearly has cunts for daughters. Same ones behind the readheaded little bitch that is so put out she has to be in Hawaii. I don't know what Northwest mutual does, but I guarantee I will not patronize them. 

Holy shit I didn't realize that's the same company. Yeah fuck both of those commercials for the same reasons. 

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Prepuce of Doom

Prepuce of Doom 20856

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Posted (edited)
On 4/6/2019 at 6:24 PM, NorthLoop said:

Holy shit I didn't realize that's the same company. Yeah fuck both of those commercials for the same reasons. 

Considering the common theme, I have to assume that there's a deliberate subtext of "your kids are ungrateful cunts - quit scrimping now in order to leave them a nice inheritance, and instead, before you die, you should spend your money mostly on yourself but in ways that your kids might also get some enjoyment out of - if they quit being an asshole long enough to appreciate you."

Probably plays pretty well with the Boomers, actually. 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom
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Trey3216

Trey3216 15298

Posted
Posted
18 hours ago, RamjetFDO said:

KFC Chicken and Waffles commercial.

Is it a tiny Colonel dancing with a regular sized Mrs. Butterworth, or is it a giant Mrs. Butterworth dancing with a regular sized Colonel?

Either way. Disturbing.

Could you imagine the uproar if it were Aunt Jamima instead of Mrs. Buttersworth

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jimmyjazz

jimmyjazz 45055

Posted
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This may have been nominated, but I am currently and permanently disgusted by the girly singer covering "The Times They Are A-Changin'".  I'm not sure if Bob Dylan maintains the rights to that song, but if he licensed it to WGU for that commercial he should have his Nobel prize revoked just because.

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Lhorn

Lhorn 4862

Posted
Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, Goo Punch said:

This galaxy commercial with all of the mongoloid strangers charging each other's phones. 

Ha. They do always have to be hipster stereotypes studying (I’m guess they’re all going to doctor school) in a coffee shop.  You want to know what’s better than freely leaching off strangers? Being prepared, charging you own damn phone and not having to panhandle electrons from a stranger. 

 

Reminds me of one of the phone commercials from a few years ago where you could point phones at each other and “beam” data from one another in a few seconds. And how did they present this magical teleporter of information on the commercial?  You got it..... two hipster millennials beaming “play lists” to each other. What’s more important in life than beaming a list of songs that your friend likes to your phone?  I’ve so much time to kill that I want to spend it seeing in what order my friend likes to listen to his music.  I’m going to guess they aren’t  actually beaming mp3 files because that would be piracy. So if I’m fortunate to have spent 1.29 per song on the same songs my friend bought I can actually listen to his playlist.  It’s a great time to be alive my friends. 

 

Edited by Lhorn
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NorthLoop

NorthLoop 13906

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Lhorn said:

 

Reminds me of one of the phone commercials from a few years ago where you could point phones at each other and “beam” data from one another in a few seconds. And how did they present this magical teleporter of information on the commercial?  You got it..... two hipster millennials beaming “play lists” to each other. What’s more important in life than beaming a list of songs that your friend likes to your phone?  I’ve so much time to kill that I want to spend it seeing in what order my friend likes to listen to his music.  I’m going to guess they aren’t  actually beaming mp3 files because that would be piracy. So if I’m fortunate to have spent 1.29 per song on the same songs my friend bought I can actually listen to his playlist.  It’s a great time to be alive my friends. 

 

Ha I remember that - I've also never ever once seen someone do that with their phones in the time since that commercial aired. 

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Lhorn

Lhorn 4862

Posted
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21 hours ago, NorthLoop said:

Ha I remember that - I've also never ever once seen someone do that with their phones in the time since that commercial aired. 

LMAO. You’re not beaming your playlists?  It’s 2019 bro. How exactly are you sharing a list of songs you like with others pray tell?  Northloop and all the other blue hairs probably sitting at a desk by candle light  with a 3 foot long peacock feather fashioned into a quill writing out his playlist  like nana did a 100 years ago. Priceless. 

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Goo Punch

Goo Punch 4275

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Verizon. Ugh. First they run the ad that goes, "Here's why Steve chose Verizon", and the dude proceeds to tell a story of his dumb ass climbing and then falling out of a tree and then calling his wife for help. Really? That's why he chose Verizon? In case his dumb ass fell out of a tree?

Now they have some goofy ginger hipster talking about how Verizon got him front row seats to see Justin Timberlake. So that's another reason to choose Verizon? Because they give ugly hipsters tickets to concerts? Okie dokie.

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Beau Vine

Beau Vine 53625

Posted
Posted
On 4/18/2019 at 10:49 PM, Goo Punch said:

Now they have some goofy ginger hipster talking about how Verizon got him front row seats to see Justin Timberlake. So that's another reason to choose Verizon? Because they give ugly hipsters tickets to concerts? Okie dokie.

That dude seriously makes me want to go back to AT&T, and AT&T was the fucking worst.  

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Goo Punch

Goo Punch 4275

Posted
Posted

I would pay an exorbitant percentage of my net worth to watch these two epic chodes beat each other to death:

f6017a9054773c479c6f9caf59b3eaa9.jpg

9e0c8b337cad8cd03f63fcad4038d61c.jpg

I'd rather watch Flo and Jamie's sex tape on a 24 hour loop than listen to either of these megachodes speak for fifteen seconds. Especially the TD Ameritrade guy.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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Lhorn

Lhorn 4862

Posted
Posted (edited)
11 hours ago, Goo Punch said:

I would pay an exorbitant percentage of my net worth to watch these two epic chodes beat each other to death:

f6017a9054773c479c6f9caf59b3eaa9.jpg

9e0c8b337cad8cd03f63fcad4038d61c.jpg

I'd rather watch Flo and Jamie's sex tape on a 24 hour loop than listen to either of these megachodes speak for fifteen seconds. Especially the TD Ameritrade guy.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

The “can you hear me” guy I can handle. That other bearded lump of shit I can’t  stand. 

 

Those TD Ameritrade commercials are so pretentious (not sure if that’s the best word).  The scenario is this: he meeting with a person or couple who clearly are intelligent successful people with some assets but they are perhaps a bit undecided about what to do. Sitting down causally talking with them he is so brilliant that he knows exactly the perfect thing for them to do even though he just met them.  He doesn’t want to be paternalistic and tell them what to do so he asks them just the right question in the perfect way that he leads them to have an epiphany and figure out for themselves what he already knows. He so fucking brilliant that he’s solve one of the biggest problems of your life without knowing jack shit about you. But he cool as hell so he lets you think you figured it out for yourself.  Yeah right

Fuck that asshole. 

Edited by Lhorn
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Underdog

Underdog 27966

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Posted

That kind of ad doesn’t bother me, it’s the stupid shit that makes no sense like the current Wendy’s spot about the Biggie Bag.  Some tool is sitting on a bus stop bench with a Wendy’s bag wide open and so neatly creased you’d think it just came back from the cleaners.  It goes back to the KFC ads where a family of four are sitting at the kitchen table with a plate full of bird and sides, yet the bucket is still full and sides look like they haven’t been touched. 

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ztejas

ztejas 42744

Posted
Posted
43 minutes ago, F250 said:

Mtailor commercial. I don't even know what is being advertised because of the chick talking.

Jaclyn Kelly Shaw

MV5BNjA0OWU0ODQtYjIyNi00ZWEyLWFhMWItY2U2

The perfect solution for her would be going on a date with me and letting those sweater puppies breathe afterwards.

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ztejas

ztejas 42744

Posted
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On 4/18/2019 at 10:49 PM, Goo Punch said:

Verizon. Ugh. First they run the ad that goes, "Here's why Steve chose Verizon", and the dude proceeds to tell a story of his dumb ass climbing and then falling out of a tree and then calling his wife for help. Really? That's why he chose Verizon? In case his dumb ass fell out of a tree?

This one is especially heinous. I BROKE MY PELVIS.

The fuck does that have to do with a cell phone carrier..

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Okie State

Okie State 3687

Posted
Posted
There is a TV commercial for it, too.

 

As someone who drove a Camry years ago, there is nothing lit about it.

I don't even understand the angle they're taking. I thought Camry drivers had accepted that their car was for commuting and nothing else. Are there people out there who buy Camrys for status or because they love cars or to take to a car show?

 

Actually now that I think about it, a guy I used to work with made the comment that the new Camry looked 'badass', so maybe there are.

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ChickenSandwich

ChickenSandwich 9749

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15 hours ago, Underdog said:

That kind of ad doesn’t bother me, it’s the stupid shit that makes no sense like the current Wendy’s spot about the Biggie Bag.  Some tool is sitting on a bus stop bench with a Wendy’s bag wide open and so neatly creased you’d think it just came back from the cleaners.  It goes back to the KFC ads where a family of four are sitting at the kitchen table with a plate full of bird and sides, yet the bucket is still full and sides look like they haven’t been touched. 

The Wendy’s one feels like it’s missing a punch line or scene. 

Why is The Penguin even there?

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Lhorn

Lhorn 4862

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6 hours ago, Okie State said:

I don't even understand the angle they're taking. I thought Camry drivers had accepted that their car was for commuting and nothing else. Are there people out there who buy Camrys for status or because they love cars or to take to a car show?

 

Actually now that I think about it, a guy I used to work with made the comment that the new Camry looked 'badass', so maybe there are.

It’s the way of the world. People need other people to blow smoke up their ass and tell them how awesome they are even when they clearly aren’t.

Camerys are a compromise car but we need to be believe how luxurious and sporty they are. 

mazda and Honda do the same thing with their mini vans. “Sure it’s a minivan but it has the heart of a sports car.”  Yeah right.... in the real world you say that you’d get laughed at. And you should expect to and you should appreciate the honesty o the person laughing at you because they are right. 

 

Theres a Honda commercial running right now for the Pilot I believe with a Honda sponsored race car driver telling how sporty it is.  No, it’s not.  I have that very vehicle.  There is nothing sporty about the way it handles or accelerates.  Zero.  Compared to a 89 Suburban -maybe.  COmpared to clapped out 92 Accord with 278 thousand Miles on it - the accord is far sportier.  

Fat chicks with guts and lumpy asses in bathing suits are told the same thing by the media. “You look good!”  no, you don’t. 

 

Its so fucking stupid that we can’t accept reality

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