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Prepuce of Doom

Official "Fuck this stupid ass-commercial" thread

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On 8/21/2018 at 8:29 PM, PittsburghTiger said:

Drug commercials suck, especially the ones that use songs from the 1970s. The fatass from the Toujeo commercial who dances and struts everywhere is fucking awful.

Trips me out, the list of "side effects" are normally longer & just as severe as what is attempted to be remedied...

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watching MNF en español, and the first three commercials i see are all commercials i am already familiar with (and hate), only in spanish; first the "real people/not actors" in spanish, followed by a "dilly dilly" commercial in spanish (deely deely), and finally a boost mobile commercial where the entire family can stream/watch what they want, including el esposo and his novelas románticas. there is no escaping shitty commercials.

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Does radio ads count?  Because if I have to listen to that dumbass Scott Crossett on another Apple Leasing commercial on 104.9, I'm going to commit a drive-by shooting. 

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5 hours ago, UTCzech III said:

Enough with the goddamn Ed Helms cell phone commercial already.

The only thing that commercial accomplishes is remembering what that guy's name is. Still couldn't tell you what they're selling. Good for Ed Helms.

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Decrepit real Larry King doing paid commercial fake Larry King show fake interview with some slime merchant con artist and his fake miracle product.

Does real Larry King really need money that bad? He probably ain't got long to spend it.

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On 9/17/2018 at 12:05 PM, DougO said:

Decrepit real Larry King doing paid commercial fake Larry King show fake interview with some slime merchant con artist and his fake miracle product.

Does real Larry King really need money that bad? He probably ain't got long to spend it.

Doesn't he have six ex-wives to support though?

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On 8/21/2018 at 8:29 PM, PittsburghTiger said:

Drug commercials suck, especially the ones that use songs from the 1970s. The fatass from the Toujeo commercial who dances and struts everywhere is fucking awful.

Big Pharma's creating illnesses by citing the dozens of symptoms their nasty meds _may_ cause.  Thank God for the DVR.  And who dreams up these bizarre med names: "Xyloco (frickzetafellatio)"

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13 hours ago, Bama Llama said:

Big Pharma's creating illnesses by citing the dozens of symptoms their nasty meds _may_ cause.  Thank God for the DVR.  And who dreams up these bizarre med names: "Xyloco (frickzetafellatio)"

while I realize there must be many people impacted by all these ailments, I do love discovering a brand new illness that I had previously never heard of, because there is now a cure for that illness.

 

My current favorite in terms of sheer audacity is Opdivo,  It announced itself to great fanfare about 2 years ago as "A CHANCE TO LIVE LONGER!!!!!!!"   and bragged how people who used this medication that were diagnosed with advanced non-small cell lung cancer  (whew say that 3 times fast)  LIVED LONGER!!!!

of course if you read the small print, the folks that used this drugs lived something like 9.8 months after diagnosis vs 5.x months without using it.    oh great, so the folks that used it still died, and they only lived about 4-5 months longer  (in excruciating pain I might add).....   but hey they lived longer by using this drug.

oh yeah, and I was bored one day and looked up the cost of this Opdivo fucker,  Upwards of $300k the first year !    Holy shit are you kidding me?   So you spend $250-330 k for the right to live about 5 months longer in massive pain.... and reduce your inheritance by a quarter million dollars?

 

I understand the will to live, but living 5 months more in extreme pain seems to be a really fucking stupid choice.

 

We are the only country in the world that lets brand name drugs advertise themselves.

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On 9/11/2018 at 10:55 AM, UTCzech III said:

Enough with the goddamn Ed Helms cell phone commercial already.

I didn't even know that was his name. I just always said, "that guy from the Hangover".

Edited by PittsburghTiger
grammar

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16 minutes ago, irockalltherocks said:

I want to throat punch that guy.

......especially since the lead female singer in that ad looks like a girl that stalked me in college.

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On 8/13/2018 at 2:00 PM, Prepuce of Doom said:

The Coke commercial featuring the Texas fan who has never heard of hummus. 

Not only is it stupid and annoying at the superficial level, but closer consideration suggests that the man was expecting to hear of some other popular tailgate snack that begins with "hum" but he was utterly flummoxed by just the second syllable of the word due to the fact that he says "Hum-WHAT?" 

It doesn't make any fucking sense. 

your-opinions-are.jpg

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Nothing too great.  She finally got the msg and began stalking a friend of mine.  One night she was visiting and apparently unlocked his window from the inside.  Later on she left.  About 2 in the morning I hear my friend yell.  She had climbed a tree, opened the 2nd floor window, and hid under his covers completely nude until he went to bed.  Fun times. 

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On 9/11/2018 at 8:59 AM, South Austin said:

Does radio ads count?  Because if I have to listen to that dumbass Scott Crossett on another Apple Leasing commercial on 104.9, I'm going to commit a drive-by shooting. 

They just started with a new version of the Tatiana commercial again.

No offense if you know or are married to Tatiana, but she sounds so fucking vapid on the ad its mind boggling.

"I'm on my fourth Apple lease in 9 years  because I got into an accident with my new leased car",     she goes on " the dealership fixed everything just fine, but I no longer felt safe in the car, so I owed a shitload still, but Scott let me lease another car"

The idiocy of that statement just makes me lose my mind... the leasing company didnt let you move into another car out of the goodness of their hearts, they charged you a shitload of money to do it.

 

P.S.  the last round of the Tatiana commercials from a year ago mentioned that she was on her 4th lease in 8 years.... I think she's forgotten how many times Apple has fucked her over.

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Sharon fucking Moore and her fucking dollars and cents minutes. Shut up with your homey wisdom and shitty quips. 

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I am old enough to remember when commercials for bras could only show a bra on a mannequin, or on top of clothes. I just saw a commercial on CNN for Peyronie's disease and talked about a misshaped erection. Times they have changed. 

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1 hour ago, Lat22 said:

The Pizza Hut commercial where the little Pittsburgh Steeler fan is screaming and growling like a rabid dog. 

Came here to say that I hope someone rips her in half like a pizza box. 

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3 hours ago, Lat22 said:

The Pizza Hut commercial where the little Pittsburgh Steeler fan is screaming and growling like a rabid dog. 

This one is annoying.  

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2 things about the Salmon Sisters commercial

 

1. They never show their faces. Are they hot? I have no idea. 

2. They never say what these bitches do. Are they fishermen? Are they graphic designers? Why do they need a Surface Pro? 

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every single surface pro commercial since they've come out is "you can doodle on the screen!"

 

"i'm a sherpa at mount bonnel so being able to doodle on the screen is super great for my job, i love my surface pro".

 

ya ok for sure 

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2 hours ago, NorthLoop said:

2 things about the Salmon Sisters commercial

1. They never show their faces. Are they hot? I have no idea. 

2. They never say what these bitches do. Are they fishermen? Are they graphic designers? Why do they need a Surface Pro? 

#1.  no:

20170610-_DSC7768_grande.jpg?v=149862457

 

#2   sounds like they started as helpers on their parents boats, inherited them, and the girls are about 50/50 fisherwomen, and "the men" fish year round, and they ladies are part time designers of clothes and graphics:

The Company

Original designs by two young Alaskan fishermen, born and inspired by the wilderness of Alaska and the sustainable fisheries of the North Pacific. Salmon Sisters products are designed in Alaska, inspired by nautical tradition, and made for a community of fishermen, adventurers, and ocean-enthusiasts. Salmon Sisters strives to make their garments the ones you dress up and dress down, get dirty and wear holes through, because they’re just too cool and comfy to take off. For every product sold, we donate one can of wild salmon to the Food Bank of Alaska.

The People

Emma Teal and Claire grew up on a homestead called Stonewall Place on the Aleutian Islands of Alaska. They have worked on their family’s commercial fishing boat in the Bering Sea since they were young. Born from summers fishing with their family, Teal and Claire developed an appreciation for their unique upbringing and for the sustainable fisheries that became central to many of their opportunities.

Salmon Sisters is currently based out of Homer, Alaska. Claire and Teal split their year between fishing for salmon in Prince William Sound and for halibut in the Aleutians, and spending the winters running Salmon Sisters.

Sustainably Sourced, Family owned 

Our family's boats, the F/V Stanley K and F/V Oracle, fish year round for salmon, Pacific Cod, Sablefish, and Halibut. In the springtime, our family prepares our boats in our homeport of Homer, Alaska for the upcoming salmon season–making sure our hulls shine brightly with fresh coats of paint, our nets are mended, and we have all the provisions we need for a summer at sea. We leave home in June and live on the water together in Prince William Sound – one boat seining for salmon, one boat working as a tender to deliver the salmon to port for processing – until the end of August. We then switch gears and swap our nets for hooks, which we use to catch halibut with once we journey west to the Bering Sea. We love halibut fishing because it brings us back to our childhood landscape of smoking volcanoes, green rolling hills, and wild weather. We spent the month of September halibut fishing near Dutch Harbor and False Pass, and then return to Homer before the fall weather gets too stormy.

In the fall, we take a break from the boat, but the men in our family continue to fish for Pacific Cod, Sablefish and Halibut throughout the winter. They return for a short break in the spring, and then we prepare for the salmon season all over again–our lives dictated by the movement of the seasons and the fish.

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I saw the salad sisters (several times) back in the day. There was no such thing as a surface pro back then, but I bet they could probably make it fit these days.

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21 hours ago, Lhorn said:

This one is annoying.  

And the psycho Raiders fan-mom-harridan's hostile takeover of her daughter's lemonade stand.  No likee atall.

Edited by Bama Llama
typo

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