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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do


Spur08

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16 hours ago, Superhero said:

Wife to kids: Will you guys clean up the playroom? There are toys all over the place.

Wife at a Christmas. Buys more toys for the kids. 

Tried to implement a one toy in, one toy out policy (donate or throw away) a while back, failed miserably. Never select a battle you cannot win.

Edited by 956 Worldwide
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22 minutes ago, 956 Worldwide said:

Tried to implement a one toy in, one toy out policy (donate or throw away) a while back, failed miserably. Never select a battle you cannot win.

Yeah, I make the kids donate / throw away stuff every 1-2 months. We actually got rid of 2 trash bags of old toys - 1 to donate, 1 to toss.

I just think it’s a shame that she buys toys, and we then turn around and donate / give it friends’ kids a year later. It’s clutter and a waste of money. I’d rather just get them LEGOs. They will play for hours and don’t get sick or them. 

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ROFL BOX,
Back in my HS days (80s) we’d switch between Red Man and Levi Garrett. They came out with a LG “plug” around mid-80s and that was the go-to on the golf course!

The days of metal spikes, persimmon woods, balata balls, and a chaw in your cheek! The days of HS golf growing up in SE Texas! When it was cooler temps, Wrangler jeans were allowed at my home golf course.

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I was watching an episode of Nova about Jupiter and there was footage of the Pioneer and Voyager launches. My wife was casually watching and asked "Were those manned missions?". When I just quietly said no, she said "Well, I mean, we didn't land there, right? I mean, were there people on the ships or whatever?". Another quiet "No" from me and that was that. It was hard to keep from laughing out loud but I was strong. 

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Young granddaughter (11) was overheard during Christmas swearing and talking sex and my wife kind of confronted our son-in-law about not "protecting" her from the Internet. She's not wrong, I think my daughter and her husband are too hands-off when it comes to their kids' use of the Internet, but Jesus Christ. Who was ever a parent whose style made everyone perfectly happy? It's life, it's ugly and difficult and raising kids is a nightmare.

I walked in as the extremely awkward confrontation was wrapping up and just kind of escorted her away because she was not understanding at all that she was completely in the wrong.

Daughter is very unhappy with us, which she should be. Not going to throw wife under the bus (a lifelong policy, we are a team especially when we fuck up) so I'm going to need to coach her into understanding how she crossed a line and how to smooth shit over.

Fucking wives, man.

I absolutely owe the son-in-law good bourbon after this is settled.

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11 hours ago, bad_teammate said:

Young granddaughter (11) was overheard during Christmas swearing and talking sex and my wife kind of confronted our son-in-law about not "protecting" her from the Internet. She's not wrong, I think my daughter and her husband are too hands-off when it comes to their kids' use of the Internet, but Jesus Christ. Who was ever a parent whose style made everyone perfectly happy? It's life, it's ugly and difficult and raising kids is a nightmare.

I walked in as the extremely awkward confrontation was wrapping up and just kind of escorted her away because she was not understanding at all that she was completely in the wrong.

Daughter is very unhappy with us, which she should be. Not going to throw wife under the bus (a lifelong policy, we are a team especially when we fuck up) so I'm going to need to coach her into understanding how she crossed a line and how to smooth shit over.

Fucking wives, man.

I absolutely owe the son-in-law good bourbon after this is settled.

Son in law is banging your daughter like a screen door in a hurricane. He’ll be fine. Save your bourbon for yourself. 

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12 hours ago, cactusflinthead said:

Nah, he's still an asshole but, he's rarely wrong.

Fixed.

Quote

Son in law is banging your daughter like a screen door in a hurricane. He’ll be fine. Save your bourbon for yourself. 

 

I mean hopefully she did to make up for my wife's inappropriate intrusion; would be her way of helping out the side.

Edited by bad_teammate
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On 12/8/2020 at 9:08 PM, Kennythetiger said:

I got my mind on my money and my money on my mind. 

My ex is from England, so she has that as an excuse for how she thought the words were "rollin' down the street, smokin' and/or sippin' on gin & juice." With the "and/or" heavily emphasized.

I guess it's strictly true, as Mr Dogg by no means felt compelled himself to stick to just one of those activities at any given time. Sometimes he would be smokin', other times sippin', and then you had the third way -- both.  

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Our white car was stolen the other night, from our driveway. Since my wife drove both cars last, I asked her where the keys were. She found both sets of keys to one car in her purse. Not so much for the black car.

The car stolen was parked in front of the other car. She was convinced they must have moved the black car, and then parked it back into our driveway but leaving a large gap. She was looking at photos our kid took after the theft to the current arrangement.

Fortunately my son (9)left me with this;
92ee22b6fa6ec892c169f5dab9f25882.jpg

Yes, I said my son. He looks more like her, but that humor was all me.

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On 12/25/2020 at 7:53 PM, ShaggyBevo RIP said:

I have previously posted the question of is 'decluttering' a circular cycle? Has decluttering ever happened without adding clutter elsewhere and the non participatory spouse blamed for the clutter at the newly cluttered location?  What percentage of 'decluttered' items end up back in at their origin point within a year?

So once a month??

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On 12/26/2020 at 1:45 PM, 956 Worldwide said:

Tried to implement a one toy in, one toy out policy (donate or throw away) a while back, failed miserably. Never select a battle you cannot win.

Doesn’t compute with South Austin’s mom

Edited by Trey3216
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43 minutes ago, Reagan1k said:

This weekend, my wife wanted to bake a few casseroles for some families who are sick.  Needed a lot of garlic and didn't want to chop it.

She sent me to the store with a list that included "Minced Garlic - Jar".

I got everything she needed and sat down to watch one of the games, and then this ensues;

Her - "Babe - I wanted the garlic in plastic squeeze bottle!"

Me - "You literally wrote the word JAR on the list".

Her - "Well, for future reference, if I say jar, I want the the plastic squeeze bottle."

 

Yeah you fucking moron.

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Agreed, but it was her dish and I wasn't eating it.  Not my circus.......

Did you not light the “Unity Candle” with you wife? From that moment on, it’s always your circus! Now, you may not be the main show in this circumstance...

It’s Surly, so you have a beard, DDs and can twirl plate with your “trunk”!
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