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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do


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9 hours ago, nnm said:

Full narrative:  

The 1973 Pulitzer Prize-winning photograph “Burst of Joy," taken by Sal Vedar. A former US Prisoner of War is shown being reunited with his family.

Despite outward appearances, the reunion was an unhappy one for Stirm. It is depressing to read that three days before the picture was taken Lt. Col. Robert L. Stirm received a letter from his wife that she wanted a divorce.

His wife took 140,000 of his pay while he was a POW, took his two younger kids, house, car, 40% of his future pension, and $300 a month in child support. She had to pay back only $1500 of his money used on trips with other men.

He fought and lost against her in court. He then had to live with his mom in San Francisco taking care of his older kids.

Law be damned...the bitch would die a horrendous death.

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1 minute ago, Brothahorn said:
19 hours ago, rage-a-holic said:
Separate. Bedrooms. 

Told the wife when we retire, we are doing the Lucy-Ricky thing with full size beds.

That's not gonna help if you're married to a selfish bitch who lets her alarm go off 5-10 times every morning. 

My ex-wife did that shit. Got so fucking tired of it that I opened her alarm clock and cut one of the wires to the speaker. After she was late a few times and bitched about her alarm clock not going off, I went to Target and found some cheap alarm that had a vibrate feature.

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7 hours ago, rage-a-holic said:

That's not gonna help if you're married to a selfish bitch who lets her alarm go off 5-10 times every morning. 

My ex-wife did that shit. Got so fucking tired of it that I opened her alarm clock and cut one of the wires to the speaker. After she was late a few times and bitched about her alarm clock not going off, I went to Target and found some cheap alarm that had a vibrate feature.

I didn’t know they had a time-keeping function. 
GUEST_d1ce0952-d29d-4984-a1c0-1c2468831d

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She joined the auxiliary of the local VFD a few years ago when we moved here full time. They do fundraisers for the FD and take water and food out to longer fire calls, pretty good little charity for the local save a slab. (In the 30 years I’ve been at the coast they’ve yet to save a structure of any kind, strictly Green Acres quality but my homeowners insurance is much cheaper because they’re close!). Anyway, the FD won’t give the Aux radios so other than hearing the sirens for the ambulance or fire apparatus they don’t know if something’s happening so they’ve all downloaded scanner apps on their phones so once they hear the siren they can turn it on and hear the call. The apps run 60 seconds behind, I guess so criminals don’t use them for real time crime assistance. She got where she left it running all the time so she and her nosey friends could hear everything that is happening with the sheriff dept and the local fire/ems. A little annoying, but no big deal. Then she discovered if she turned on a Bluetooth speaker she could hear it easier from the kitchen or from the couch while watching TV, which means it has to be equal to or slightly louder than the TV volume. It’s like living in a damn police dispatch station 24/7!!! God bless the woman, she practically kills herself doing everything for me and the kid and asks so little in return, but this may be a battle I have to take on!

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Not my wife, but female dental assistant:

1 Keep your teeth closed( clenched) while I use this wand to get image of your bite

2. Put your tongue on your right cheek

3. (sternly)I told you to keep your mouth closed!

4 me in my head, "Bitch, You also said tongue to the right cheek. You want to explain how the fuck that happens with my teeth together."

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1 hour ago, slorch said:

Not my wife, but female dental assistant:

1 Keep your teeth closed( clenched) while I use this wand to get image of your bite

2. Put your tongue on your right cheek

3. (sternly)I told you to keep your mouth closed!

4 me in my head, "Bitch, You also said tongue to the right cheek. You want to explain how the fuck that happens with my teeth together."

Wait, your Drill Instructors didn't constantly bombard you with contradictory and impossible orders to prepare you for shit like this?  The Corps must have changed a lot between my time and yours.

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6 hours ago, GoPokes83 said:

She joined the auxiliary of the local VFD a few years ago when we moved here full time. They do fundraisers for the FD and take water and food out to longer fire calls, pretty good little charity for the local save a slab. (In the 30 years I’ve been at the coast they’ve yet to save a structure of any kind, strictly Green Acres quality but my homeowners insurance is much cheaper because they’re close!). Anyway, the FD won’t give the Aux radios so other than hearing the sirens for the ambulance or fire apparatus they don’t know if something’s happening so they’ve all downloaded scanner apps on their phones so once they hear the siren they can turn it on and hear the call. The apps run 60 seconds behind, I guess so criminals don’t use them for real time crime assistance. She got where she left it running all the time so she and her nosey friends could hear everything that is happening with the sheriff dept and the local fire/ems. A little annoying, but no big deal. Then she discovered if she turned on a Bluetooth speaker she could hear it easier from the kitchen or from the couch while watching TV, which means it has to be equal to or slightly louder than the TV volume. It’s like living in a damn police dispatch station 24/7!!! God bless the woman, she practically kills herself doing everything for me and the kid and asks so little in return, but this may be a battle I have to take on!

Now you know why they’re not given radios. 

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She joined the auxiliary of the local VFD a few years ago when we moved here full time. They do fundraisers for the FD and take water and food out to longer fire calls, pretty good little charity for the local save a slab. (In the 30 years I’ve been at the coast they’ve yet to save a structure of any kind, strictly Green Acres quality but my homeowners insurance is much cheaper because they’re close!). Anyway, the FD won’t give the Aux radios so other than hearing the sirens for the ambulance or fire apparatus they don’t know if something’s happening so they’ve all downloaded scanner apps on their phones so once they hear the siren they can turn it on and hear the call. The apps run 60 seconds behind, I guess so criminals don’t use them for real time crime assistance. She got where she left it running all the time so she and her nosey friends could hear everything that is happening with the sheriff dept and the local fire/ems. A little annoying, but no big deal. Then she discovered if she turned on a Bluetooth speaker she could hear it easier from the kitchen or from the couch while watching TV, which means it has to be equal to or slightly louder than the TV volume. It’s like living in a damn police dispatch station 24/7!!! God bless the woman, she practically kills herself doing everything for me and the kid and asks so little in return, but this may be a battle I have to take on!

Do these hens gather to knit as well?
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This is more stupid shit husbands do, but don't have a better place to put it, and I really just want to vent.

Wife wants to visit her Philippines homeland badly this summer.  I've been there and have no urgent desire to go back.  Agreed she and the two kids will go.  I get a two week vacation at home.

Book a flight for the three of them early spring.  Prices are sky high, but found a reasonable $1.3K rate.  Flights to Asia out of LAX are usually quite late at night.  The ticket I got was for July 3 at 00:50 hours. Now, in my stupified mind that somehow translated into leave late night July 3.

Day of departure I check the airline to make sure things are on schedule, and realize to my horror that they missed the flight.  Call the airlines, hoping they'll be accommodating and just put them on the next flight available.  Nope.  $450 penalty for missing the flight and must purchase new tickets at full rate.  All other options are worse.  All in all, this fiasco cost me an additional $4,500 in costs just because I/we misinterpreted the date of departure. Fuck me.

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I’ve seen that happen in Vegas, they obviously have a lot of flights that leave both before and after 12am.

I don’t understand the “$450 penalty plus full rate.” Why didn’t you just buy three new tickets at that point? Was the $450 to get you credit back for the remaining initial ticket price?

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4 hours ago, Wade said:

This is more stupid shit husbands do, but don't have a better place to put it, and I really just want to vent.

Wife wants to visit her Philippines homeland badly this summer.  I've been there and have no urgent desire to go back.  Agreed she and the two kids will go.  I get a two week vacation at home.

Book a flight for the three of them early spring.  Prices are sky high, but found a reasonable $1.3K rate.  Flights to Asia out of LAX are usually quite late at night.  The ticket I got was for July 3 at 00:50 hours. Now, in my stupified mind that somehow translated into leave late night July 3.

Day of departure I check the airline to make sure things are on schedule, and realize to my horror that they missed the flight.  Call the airlines, hoping they'll be accommodating and just put them on the next flight available.  Nope.  $450 penalty for missing the flight and must purchase new tickets at full rate.  All other options are worse.  All in all, this fiasco cost me an additional $4,500 in costs just because I/we misinterpreted the date of departure. Fuck me.

I did a similar thing as this once but it had to do with checking into a hotel after a late arrival.  When I arrived at the hotel they said that I did not have a reservation for that day and that they were "full".  I immediately realized that I had messed up with the online reservation.  Not to be totally defeated I was going to do my best to put it back on them that they must be wrong, afterall, I was dealing with the overnight shift hotel front-desk folks that most likely did not want to be there.  Through a few choice words and feigned anger they found an open room and I was able to check in with no penalty.

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38 minutes ago, mininghorn88 said:

I did a similar thing as this once but it had to do with checking into a hotel after a late arrival.  When I arrived at the hotel they said that I did not have a reservation for that day and that they were "full".  I immediately realized that I had messed up with the online reservation.  Not to be totally defeated I was going to do my best to put it back on them that they must be wrong, afterall, I was dealing with the overnight shift hotel front-desk folks that most likely did not want to be there.  Through a few choice words and feigned anger they found an open room and I was able to check in with no penalty.

 

F0A9293D-270F-4558-8AEA-1B3046CCBEA0.gif

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4 hours ago, McCroskey said:

I’ve seen that happen in Vegas, they obviously have a lot of flights that leave both before and after 12am.

I don’t understand the “$450 penalty plus full rate.” Why didn’t you just buy three new tickets at that point? Was the $450 to get you credit back for the remaining initial ticket price?

Yeah, they credited back the original rate minus the penalty.  New tickets ~8K vs. original ~4K

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7 hours ago, mininghorn88 said:

I did a similar thing as this once but it had to do with checking into a hotel after a late arrival.  When I arrived at the hotel they said that I did not have a reservation for that day and that they were "full".  I immediately realized that I had messed up with the online reservation.  Not to be totally defeated I was going to do my best to put it back on them that they must be wrong, afterall, I was dealing with the overnight shift hotel front-desk folks that most likely did not want to be there.  Through a few choice words and feigned anger they found an open room and I was able to check in with no penalty.

Yeah, that's a dick move.

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I did a similar thing as this once but it had to do with checking into a hotel after a late arrival.  When I arrived at the hotel they said that I did not have a reservation for that day and that they were "full".  I immediately realized that I had messed up with the online reservation.  Not to be totally defeated I was going to do my best to put it back on them that they must be wrong, afterall, I was dealing with the overnight shift hotel front-desk folks that most likely did not want to be there.  Through a few choice words and feigned anger they found an open room and I was able to check in with no penalty.
About the same thing for me. On a long multi-stop trip I accidentally mixed up the dates when booking thru hotels.com and made the reservation for the day after I was actually going to be there. It was just an overnight stop after a full day of driving. The hotel had room but because I booked thru hotels.com I had to call them and have them change the reservation date in their system so that it would change in the hotel system and they'd get paid properly. Hotel staff was nice but I had to deal with some call center asshat for 2 hours just for them to get the date changed. Since we were stopping at the same hotel on the way back, I verified I had the date right for the return reservation (I did).
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My friend’s wife called him from San Diego saying her tire pressure light came on. The pressure on one particular tire was 28 psi while the others were at 30. She didn’t “feel comfortable” driving it and wanted him to drive 50 miles to help her.

 When he got there, she was at a gas station next to the air pump.

 No leak, tire pressure probably just dropped because the temperature had dropped.

 Needless to say he was livid, but I have him shit anyway for not putting his foot down and tell her to drive home. 

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On 7/8/2023 at 5:06 AM, GoPokes83 said:

She joined the auxiliary of the local VFD a few years ago when we moved here full time. They do fundraisers for the FD and take water and food out to longer fire calls, pretty good little charity for the local save a slab. (In the 30 years I’ve been at the coast they’ve yet to save a structure of any kind, strictly Green Acres quality but my homeowners insurance is much cheaper because they’re close!). Anyway, the FD won’t give the Aux radios so other than hearing the sirens for the ambulance or fire apparatus they don’t know if something’s happening so they’ve all downloaded scanner apps on their phones so once they hear the siren they can turn it on and hear the call. The apps run 60 seconds behind, I guess so criminals don’t use them for real time crime assistance. She got where she left it running all the time so she and her nosey friends could hear everything that is happening with the sheriff dept and the local fire/ems. A little annoying, but no big deal. Then she discovered if she turned on a Bluetooth speaker she could hear it easier from the kitchen or from the couch while watching TV, which means it has to be equal to or slightly louder than the TV volume. It’s like living in a damn police dispatch station 24/7!!! God bless the woman, she practically kills herself doing everything for me and the kid and asks so little in return, but this may be a battle I have to take on!

When I was involved with the local VFD we had an app that would go off for every 911 call with a little description of what it was.  Seems like they just don't want these ladies getting in the way all the time.

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5 hours ago, Superhero said:

My friend’s wife called him from San Diego saying her tire pressure light came on. The pressure on one particular tire was 28 psi while the others were at 30. She didn’t “feel comfortable” driving it and wanted him to drive 50 miles to help her.

 When he got there, she was at a gas station next to the air pump.

 No leak, tire pressure probably just dropped because the temperature had dropped.

 Needless to say he was livid, but I have him shit anyway for not putting his foot down and tell her to drive home. 

so, you would rather her learn "the lesson" that an idiot light is OK to be ignored?  

Cause thats a sure fire way to end up with a $7k repair bill....

"Oh the light came on and said I was out of oil, but I was only going another 50 miles, so I sped up to get their faster... no idea why the whole engine seized 2 mins later"

 

Now, telling her to get a well lit gas station and putting air in the tire, thats a reasonable request that if she refused then you at least have an argument point ( one you will still lose), but at least you have a point, and it doesnt tell her to just ignore the idiot lights

 

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14 minutes ago, AUS-97HORN said:

so, you would rather her learn "the lesson" that an idiot light is OK to be ignored?  

Cause thats a sure fire way to end up with a $7k repair bill....

"Oh the light came on and said I was out of oil, but I was only going another 50 miles, so I sped up to get their faster... no idea why the whole engine seized 2 mins later"

 

Now, telling her to get a well lit gas station and putting air in the tire, thats a reasonable request that if she refused then you at least have an argument point ( one you will still lose), but at least you have a point, and it doesnt tell her to just ignore the idiot lights

 

I’m team @Superhero here. 28 psi is not particularly concerning. I would (and have, in the past) have told her that it was probably due to colder air and to start driving home, while keeping an eye on the TPS monitor on the dash. If it got any lower, pull over into the closest well-lot gas station and wait (either for roadside assistance or for me). If, however, it remains the same (or increases by 1 or 2 psi), it’s fine, and I’ll top off the air when she gets home. 
 

It’s a teachable moment about what air pressure does in the vagaries of warmer and colder air. And that warning lights ARE to be taken seriously. 

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6 hours ago, Superhero said:

My friend’s wife called him from San Diego saying her tire pressure light came on. The pressure on one particular tire was 28 psi while the others were at 30. She didn’t “feel comfortable” driving it and wanted him to drive 50 miles to help her.

 When he got there, she was at a gas station next to the air pump.

 No leak, tire pressure probably just dropped because the temperature had dropped.

 Needless to say he was livid, but I have him shit anyway for not putting his foot down and tell her to drive home. 

She knew how to check the air pressure on the tires but didn’t add air to fill up the one slightly off? And needed him to drive 50 miles to do what exactly?

I’d definitely give that guy shit for wasting 2 hrs of his own time on that BS

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3 minutes ago, Pig Bellmont said:

She knew how to check the air pressure on the tires but didn’t add air to fill up the one slightly off? And needed him to drive 50 miles to do what exactly?

I’d definitely give that guy shit for wasting 2 hrs of his own time on that BS

Most newer vehicles will tell you the measured PSI of the tires from the dash. My truck from 2016 does.

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So the truck tells me the PSI of each tire.  But she drives a VW, and the stupid thing doesn't tell you crap when it comes to TPMS.  The procedure: Please air up the tires to their "full" pressure, then hit the reset button for the TPMS sensors, and we'll alert you when there's a deviation.  But the alert is "SUDDEN LOSS OF TIRE PRESSURE" and no further information.  Have had two alerts this summer, which I believe is due to battery drain on a given sensor.  Either way, VW doesn't tell you anything about actual pressure in the tires, just a green or orange tire on the display to tell which tire is losing pressure.

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4 hours ago, AUS-97HORN said:

so, you would rather her learn "the lesson" that an idiot light is OK to be ignored?  

If there's an idiot light to be ignored, it's the tire pressure light.  Those sensors are trash, especially in Toyotas.  I quit worrying about them after the 2nd or 3rd time I spent money replacing them and just let the light live it's happy life.

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1 hour ago, Mittens said:

If there's an idiot light to be ignored, it's the tire pressure light.  Those sensors are trash, especially in Toyotas.  I quit worrying about them after the 2nd or 3rd time I spent money replacing them and just let the light live it's happy life.

Yep. Mine on my 4Runner has been on for over 10 years and I’ve gone through a couple of new tire sets and keep them pretty well in check. 

Edited by Biff Tannen
ETA: just hit 220k and she purrs like a kitten
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7 hours ago, PvilleStang said:

So the truck tells me the PSI of each tire.  But she drives a VW, and the stupid thing doesn't tell you crap when it comes to TPMS.  The procedure: Please air up the tires to their "full" pressure, then hit the reset button for the TPMS sensors, and we'll alert you when there's a deviation.  But the alert is "SUDDEN LOSS OF TIRE PRESSURE" and no further information.  Have had two alerts this summer, which I believe is due to battery drain on a given sensor.  Either way, VW doesn't tell you anything about actual pressure in the tires, just a green or orange tire on the display to tell which tire is losing pressure.

well, the bug used to not have a gas gauge.  you just ran out and then flipped it to an emergency tank to drive to a filling station.  baby steps

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15 hours ago, nnm said:

 told her ... to start driving home, while keeping an eye on the TPS monitor on the dash. If it got any lower, pull over 

It’s a teachable moment about what air pressure does in the vagaries of warmer and colder air. And that warning lights ARE to be taken seriously. 

Hahahahahahaha.gif

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On 7/9/2023 at 1:12 PM, mininghorn88 said:

The difference between me and Karen is that I knew I was wrong but could put together a responsible argument.

 

On 7/9/2023 at 1:19 PM, txhorns said:

You knew you were wrong and yet still bitched at the hotel employee who didn’t deserve any of your shit.

This.

 

On 7/9/2023 at 5:54 PM, Tylerocks said:

Yeah, that's a dick move.

And this.

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Placing wine glasses at the very edge of whatever surface she is placing her drink.

coffee table, outdoor patio table, dining table, kitchen counter.

 

I follow her around like she's a 4 year old and move the glasses to a safe spot.

 

without fail once a month or so, I'll hear a crash and a "god damnit!"

 

Me:

chadhenne-smirk.gif

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Placing wine glasses at the very edge of whatever surface she is placing her drink.
coffee table, outdoor patio table, dining table, kitchen counter.
 
I follow her around like she's a 4 year old and move the glasses to a safe spot.
 
without fail once a month or so, I'll hear a crash and a "god damnit!"
 
Me:
chadhenne-smirk.gif
Get her the plastic ones.
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22 minutes ago, Brothahorn said:
1 hour ago, Tylerocks said:
Placing wine glasses at the very edge of whatever surface she is placing her drink.
coffee table, outdoor patio table, dining table, kitchen counter.
 
I follow her around like she's a 4 year old and move the glasses to a safe spot.
 
without fail once a month or so, I'll hear a crash and a "god damnit!"
 
Me:
chadhenne-smirk.gif

Get her the plastic ones.

She has tumblers and thankfully uses those most of the time

 

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I don't if it's necessarily stupid, but my wife is afraid of spiders, and every time she sees one she erupts into an outburst that's almost on par with when she realized our first dog was dead.

Usually she finds them in the basement while doing laundry or something, and the noise that comes from it always makes me think that she found some kind of intruder holed up in the storage room with a knife and a ball gag.  And then I come running only to find that it's a fucking spider.

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5 hours ago, Tylerocks said:

Placing wine glasses at the very edge of whatever surface she is placing her drink.

coffee table, outdoor patio table, dining table, kitchen counter.

 

I follow her around like she's a 4 year old and move the glasses to a safe spot.

 

without fail once a month or so, I'll hear a crash and a "god damnit!"

 

Me:

chadhenne-smirk.gif

d82b65bb-8e9f-4b92-bcb9-16fd060c0e89_tex

ecf6212b-f60c-4c28-8f98-b4f3ef990521_tex

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On 7/5/2023 at 11:41 AM, Brothahorn said:

First, who is we?

This may be the wife statement that drives me the most nuts.  We is only used when it's me that has to do it.  Luckily my wife has learned that's a hot button and says "I would appreciate if you would" instead.  Makes a huge difference in my attitude.  I would still do it with way one, but way two doesn't agitate me and put me on the back foot.

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