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Official "Fuck this stupid ass-commercial" thread

Prepuce of Doom

By Prepuce of Doom
in Movies and TV

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Dennis Taylor
Dennis Taylor

So, like an OnlyFansville? 

Goo Punch
Goo Punch

man FUCK all of these bullshit-ass holiday commercials trying to tug at your fuckin heart strings like that has fucking dick to do with buying a car or a computer or whatever. this latest one i saw wa

Jameslaw121
Jameslaw121

The other day at work, we had about 10-12 people in out lobby - probably 20' by 30' room, but the cleaning crew was trying to finish vacuuming. I was trying to get people out of their way when one of

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Prepuce of Doom

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On 12/4/2018 at 12:21 PM, Escapedgoat said:

Ha, I saw this. That pathetic looking beta male asking the kid's permission.

Yeah, give her the ring and marry her and you'll be sitting at home watching that kid while she cucks your ass with another guy. Dumb simp. I didn't think Jared's "he went to Jared" campaign could be outdone in douchiness. Stupid fucking jeweler ads.

The next time this commercial comes on, pause your TV and then watch the whole thing on mute. 

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Pato del Muerto

Pato del Muerto 51914

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On 11/5/2018 at 9:48 AM, mycox said:

I didn't think Kay Jewelers could top their stupidity over the years, but they have done it.  Guy asks the stupid 7 year kid if he can marry his mother with a minute long speech.

When I see this commercial, there is no sound on the guy. Just background music then the voiceover. Is that a glitch on the streaming app?

because for all I know, he’s proposing to the boy. 

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Lhorn

Lhorn 4862

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On 12/5/2018 at 7:53 PM, NorthLoop said:

and each one of em has some trendy little logo 

I guess they paid Fleetwood Mac only enough to get one line from a song so the entire commercial is “Go your own way....” repeated endlessly only broken up by descriptions of heinous side effects.  Terrible 

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Goo Punch

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8 hours ago, hayden_horn said:

have we discussed the progressive commercials mocking the chevy commercials? because that's funny as fuck.

 

that's fucking funny...how have i not seen that? all the way down to the mom showing up at the end. this was a case where being very on the nose was a good thing. 

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Horn80

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The sappy old man in the hearing aid commercial that say “what” to his son every five seconds.  Only to have it end with verklempt type moment of “what”?  “ I only wanted to hear you say it again”.  Get the fuck out of here.  You drove everyone in your family crazy for fucking years and now you think this shit is sweet moment?  Fuck off and never say “what” again asshole.

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RomaVicta

RomaVicta 29472

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On 12/5/2018 at 7:56 PM, Bama Llama said:

Each and every commercial for an unpronounceable medication with a voiceover citing multiple horrendous side effects like spontaneous skin sloughing, chronic diarrhea and bleeding from the eyes.  No thanks, I'll take my chances with the disease in question.  Thank God for the DVR.

Last Week Tonight put together an amusing tape of what these companies show while reciting the horrifying warnings: happy people sailing in boats, cavorting with children in a meadow, and holding hands in the sunset. 

You're eyes tell you happy while your ears tell you NOOOOOOO!

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Macanudo

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1 minute ago, RomaVicta said:

Last Week Tonight put together an amusing tape of what these companies show while reciting the horrifying warnings: happy people sailing in boats, cavorting with children in a meadow, and holding hands in the sunset. 

You're eyes tell you happy while your ears tell you NOOOOOOO!

I want to k now who decided the target demographic for those watching sporting events, especially the NFL, needs to see a constant barrage of drug and hospital ads.   Are there a bunch of dudes sitting around taking notes about which meds to take and where they want to be admitted the next time they need to go to the hospital?

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RomaVicta

RomaVicta 29472

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1 minute ago, Macanudo said:

I want to k now who decided the target demographic for those watching sporting events, especially the NFL, needs to see a constant barrage of drug and hospital ads.   Are there a bunch of dudes sitting around taking notes about which meds to take and where they want to be admitted the next time they need to go to the hospital?

True. How many of us have said been at the doctor's office and, when he prescribes Gargbonal for your irritable bowel, recommend an alternative based on a TV commercial?

"Garbonal? I think not, Dr. Gupta. I think I'll risk the nose hemorrhoids and scrotal scaling and ask for Assjoystatin instead. I saw it on the TV, you know."

Doctor Gupta nods, impressed.

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DougO

DougO 5223

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That stupidass "Behind The Mac" commercial featuring black and white still photos of douchebag celebrities, hipsters and cute kids looking at apple laptops. I guess state of the art apple computers in modern times are too sensitive and sophisticated to handle high tech color photos of douchebag celebs, hipsters and cute kids. At least it gives you useful information about their product rather than just whoring a superficial image.

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Continental Op

Continental Op 3934

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I'm tired of commercials where some female vocalist sings an already popular song in a really breathy voice, especially the one for whatever gum where the guy is drawing shit on gum wrappers to impress some broad. That chick is a 4 at best and that guy needs to figure out he doesn't need to go to all that effort to get her in the sack since she is probably glad any guy is paying any attention to her at all.

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Trey3216

Trey3216 15298

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On 12/11/2018 at 8:11 AM, Horn80 said:

The sappy old man in the hearing aid commercial that say “what” to his son every five seconds.  Only to have it end with verklempt type moment of “what”?  “ I only wanted to hear you say it again”.  Get the fuck out of here.  You drove everyone in your family crazy for fucking years and now you think this shit is sweet moment?  Fuck off and never say “what” again asshole.

giphy.gif

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UTCzech III

UTCzech III 2892

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23 hours ago, Continental Op said:

I'm tired of commercials where some female vocalist sings an already popular song in a really breathy voice, especially the one for whatever gum where the guy is drawing shit on gum wrappers to impress some broad. That chick is a 4 at best and that guy needs to figure out he doesn't need to go to all that effort to get her in the sack since she is probably glad any guy is paying any attention to her at all.

This right fucking here, or any apple/phone commercial that tries to find the hippest/coolest/outta the box song for their commercials.  Yeah I'm old, but your songs suck.

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Lhorn

Lhorn 4862

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On 12/17/2018 at 6:39 AM, Continental Op said:

I'm tired of commercials where some female vocalist sings an already popular song in a really breathy voice, especially the one for whatever gum where the guy is drawing shit on gum wrappers to impress some broad. That chick is a 4 at best and that guy needs to figure out he doesn't need to go to all that effort to get her in the sack since she is probably glad any guy is paying any attention to her at all.

This trend has annoyed me for a while.  Old or classic song sung in an alternative/hipster manner.  Breathy, 3/4 speed, folk version, whatever.

"I can't help falling in love with you" gum commercial.

"Don't you forget about me" such by a hipster black guy on a piano about 6-12 months ago (State Farm) 

"Bushel and a Peck" commercial with two people remodeling a home (State Farm - along with the Aaron Rodgers commercials there is strong evidence that State Farm sucks).

There's a current one with a folk version of a song on a commercial for a Pet product store (forget off the top of my head)

The list goes on an on.  It seems to be the "in"/easy thing to do with commercials.  I personally hate it.

 

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hayden_horn

hayden_horn 11311

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19 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:
21 hours ago, HenryJames said:
 

Love these commercials when the side effects take up 45 seconds of the 1:00. You basically forget what it is meant for at the end

my favorite is when they say shit like "do not take this medicine if you are allergic to this medicine."

okay? no fucking shit?

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Lhorn

Lhorn 4862

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1 hour ago, Okie State said:

Can't believe you'd have the gall to buy me a $60K SUV with almost 1K miles on it. Asshole.

What about the GMC commercial where a guy buys some Denali (I think) in 2 different colors and the wife comes out of the house and claims the one that he wanted for himself?  Aren't those like $75K+ rigs?  Dropping $150,000 for Christmas - yeah right!

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ChickenSandwich

ChickenSandwich 9749

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2 hours ago, DougO said:

That breathy voice thing in girly pop music has become extremely annoying. I'm not sure what artist everyone is copying that from, but whoever it is is the current form of the Dave Matthews/John Mayer cartoon voice virus.

Fuck. New one for mouthwash covers “Lean on Me”. It’s an abortion 

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BadgerHorn

BadgerHorn 147

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I used to dislike these, but over time they grew on me to the point that I crack up for nearly every scene.

 

And the Tac Amplifier (youtube not allowing embedding, but worth the watch)

Bell + Howell Tac Amplifie

I'm going to submit my resume to Bell + Howell.  I may not have the minimum number of tactical situation experiences to cut it though.

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